That is what we call BEING RESOURCEFUL.

I got all my stuff ready last night: lunch, Bug's lunch, bag for swimming, school bag, outfit, purse. I seriously look like a bag lady every time I leave for school. Was quite proud of myself--yummy healthy lunch packed, cute outfit, swimsuit, cap, goggles...I really felt like I had it all together.

For a while.

Because I quick changed at school with my cat-like reflexes, and apparently was so catlike that I LEFT MY TOWEL IN THE TEACHERS LOUNGE BATHROOM.

And I didn't realize it until I was at the gym. And had dropped Bug off at Kids' Cove.

(translation: my babysitting timer was ticking)

Crap. I'll just get in the pool and figure something out.

So I jumped in and started swimming. I felt like...well, I felt like I hadn't been in the water since New Orleans. Which is true.

What about my backup tank top? Hmmmm. I have a backup tank top in there. It's super flimsy and cheap, but maybe I could at least dry off enough to put my clothes back on?

Arg.

I finished 2500 yards and hopped out, because, time was ticking and I had to take a quick shower before I got Bug from the Kids' Cove. Pulled out my little flimsy white Target tank top and thought, this is no good. This is no good indeed.

And then it hit me.

I had a backup diaper in there.

Buried in the bottom of my bag was an unused, random Pampers diaper. I keep it in there in case we have a Level Five Poop Explosion. You know, because if I DON'T have it in there, I'm guaranteed a poop explosion.

(not me personally. you know what I mean)

I thought of a great hero to all, Vince the Sham Wow Guy.

W.W.V.D?

Vince would TOTALLY DO IT.

So I did. I dried off with a Pampers diaper. AND IT FREAKING WORKED, PEOPLE.

Dem things ABSORBANT!

So, the next time you're in a bit of a towel-less pickle, just reach for the nearest Pampers. You'll be a complete freak, but you will get (sorta) dry.

Under Construction

As you may have noticed, I've changed my blog layout a bit...wanted it to reflect me circa 2009 a bit more. Still working on a few things, but HEEE-YOOOGE thanks to Sister Wil for helping me with my masthead picture! Thanks, Wil! :)

More to come, but I'm off to Columbus to visit a few buddies and drink some wine...girls night in! Kind of a last-minute trip here and just a quick one. The weather has been gorgeous lately and I just got back from a 9 mile run--the first 4.5 just with me, and the last 4.5 with Matt and Bug. Negative split big time, and ended up with an average pace of 8:54 and felt very slow. This got me wondering: what the sam hill has gotten into me? Since when does sub-9 feel like a nice easy long run pace?

So that has led me to pull the trigger on the Cleveland Half Marathon. I'm in there like swimwear, baby. And I've got an aggressive goal, but I am feeling good. Why not, huh? Might as well take advantage of a little early season fitness.

So here it is: I'm going to go for a 1:45 and either hit it or blow up spectacularly trying. Giddyup!

Thanks to my cheering section!

I wanted to say a HUGE thanks to my girl CERVEZA. She is one of my Nutter girls and spent her spring break this year down in New Orleans to help rebuild some of the leftover Katrina damage. That is awesome enough. But then she got up early the day after driving four thousand hours to New Orleans to cheer me on!

Seriously. Could I be a bigger tool?

And then she was there at the finish line!

And then she was with us on Bourbon Street that night!

We're fast approaching our 10 year anniversary from Miami, and I'm so lucky to have such a great group of girls to call friends. I just wish we all lived in the same house again. Or, maybe not...something tells me we'd be really likely to skip work in favor of drinking on the front porch on a sunny day and then staying out until 5:37 in the morning. And then we'd all get fired.

Finish Line Fun

I'm not NEARLY savvy enough to know how to get my brightroom pics on here, but I'll try to do that this week. In the meantime, here's a pic Wil snapped of me at the finish line. Despite all the pain and dry heaves (BTW, anyone heard the song "Dry Heaves" by DRI? Every time my hubby plays it I laugh) I felt in the last 5 miles of this race, that last mile was still what a last mile should be...full of music, people, pain, and big smiles.

Finish line magic. Someone needs to figure out how to bottle that stuff.

Are you KEEEEEDING me

I just got back from a lovely Easter run, and it was totally the run I was supposed to have last week in New Orleans. And didn't. Because here it's 43 degrees and sunny (perfect for me) and there it was not.

10 miles at an average pace of 8:39, with the last mile 8:14.

Sigh.

At least I know I have it in me. It was just covered in sweaty salty dehydrated mush last weekend. DOH!

MUST. DRINK. MORE. ON. BIKE. SOMEHOW.

I wonder where he gets it from

Little Bug was such an early walker that I guess I just figured he'd be early at everything. Calculus! British literature! Advanced ceramics! But he's been a little hesitant to talk--he understands everything, but just doesn't see the need to elaborate and discuss ad nauseum. Kind of like his father.

But without a doubt, he now sees the need to say a word with great meaning. This, my friends, is his new favorite word, aside from "mama" and "dada" of course:

GO!

As in,

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLETMERUNALLOVERTHEPLACELIFEISABIGSTARTINGLINE!

I got it on our little camera, so here's the video.

I suppose this shouldn't surprise anyone who's been reading this blog for a while.

He may look just like his daddy, but here's proof positive that this kid's got some of Mommy's GO in him:

Style 101

I have an confession to make.

If I'm wearing my nice black dress boots, like to church or work or something, you can bet that I'm most likely wearing ridiculous cycling socks underneath.

It started because I could never find any black socks in my drawer. Now it's just because they are super comfy.

I never said you should look to me for fashion tips.

And this is what I call IRONIC.

Thanks for the great feedback! I wanted to be sure I made something clear: I don't think totally abandoning time goals is the way to go. I definitely think that's a great way to measure progress; what I do think is that is not the ONLY way to measure progress. Especially in these really large races with tough competition. It's one piece, but I have started to understand it's not the ONLY piece. The SATs are important and stuff, but so are your grades, you know? So are your "other leadership activities."

Okay, sorry. I can't help but get into teacher mode. Especially when all my kids are getting into colleges and stuff. :)

So you know what?

I believe my strength has become my weakness and my weakness has become my strength.

Exhibit A:

First 70.3, 2005, Deer Creek Pineman

Swim somewhere in the realm of 33 (probably a little short though--who knows. It's no longer on their website)
Bike avg 16.5 mph (went even SLOWER the following year at Musselman! 15.7!)

Exhibit B:

4th 70.3, New Orleans

Swim 40.17 (some say a little long though--again, who freakin' knows)
Bike avg 18.9 (Steelhead was 20.4! But was about a mile-ish short there)

Why? Simple answer:

I do not have a 25 yard pool in my basement. It requires a lot of coordinating schedules to get to the pool during the school year.

This is kind of funny. For years I thought I would just be an awful cyclist forever. Turns out that with time, that gets better and stuff. This from the girl who has been swimming since she was 2...you'd think I'd get it, right?

Somehow I'm now to the point where if I do NOT average at LEAST 19 miles/hour on a half iron distance, I get all pissy.

Who is this girl?!

Now if I can just find a way to NOT let the swimming slide...I'm comfortable enough that I can get away with "winging it" in the water, but that shouldn't be an excuse. Just a little more consistency would help. Three times a week instead of one or two.

I think I have a good solution.

And it's that little rule I learned last week:

THOU SHALT NOT EVER DO AN EARLY 70.3 AGAIN.

;)

Or, if I do, just understand that this is the way it will have to be. Go for the more aggressive goal in July or August when I can spend a lot of time on everything, and have NO weakness.

Since we're on the subject of time, here is where I feel I am NOW, after four years of racing these 70.3 thingys (and I still have a LOT to learn). Here is my "perfect day:"

Swim: 34 minutes
Bike: avg 20+ mph
Run: 1:53

With transitions, I know I am capable of, on an absolutely perfect day, somewhere around a 5:17.

I was NOT ready for that at New Orleans since I hadn't prepared quite as thoroughly as I do by August. Time wise, if everything went very well, I was hoping to hit around 5:35-5:40. Everything did NOT go very well, as previously explained, so ending up with a 6:00 at first glance could have left me pretty disappointed. But I'm not, because when I remember that everyone had the same conditions I did, it helped me see I still made some significant progress.

So that's the scoop. Still a lot to learn about this distance, but I'm definitely headed in the right direction.

IM NOLA 70.3

To me, my favorite thing about the half Ironman distance is that it's like walking a dangerous tightrope. You're constantly balancing pushing yourself harder with holding your reserves back, as a sea of bonking swirls beneath you but what you know you can do is just on the other side. The more I think about it, the more fun I had out there. You learn a lot about yourself at this distance; that's for sure.

I mean, when I was actually ON the run course, I was thinking "THIS IS SOOOO NOT FUN RIGHT NOW."

But when I remembered that ALL of us had to deal with the weather, it made it a little easier to swallow.

One thing I remember when I went to Vision Quest last June and got tested by Robbie Ventura and met my AWESOME Coach Emily, was that when they asked me what my goals are I instinctively said a time goal: "Sub-6." Almost instantly, Robbie said that focusing on a time goal isn't the best way to go about things. Lots can happen: wind, weather, etc. and if you set an age group goal, it's a better way to gauge your progress. Top half, top third, etc. Ever since then, I've really focused more on age group goals.

My first two 70.3s, I was undoubtedly in the BACK of the pack. LAST 20% for sure. And I was fine with that. But now I feel like I could push a little more--lean just a little toward the side that says gogogogogoGO and hope I've learned enough not to go tumbling down into Bonkville.

Steelhead was a great race for me. Had there been a swim, I was ready for it. I knew I could go about 36 that day. I felt very, very confident. But there wasn't, and that's the way it is. So focusing on a time goal had me confused. What would my "real" time be? If my swim was 36-37, that would have me finishing at 5:27. Which is great and all, but still doesn't feel "right." I went 5:10 there, and I know I would have most likely gone 5:30 if it was a tri, but we'll just never know, you know? So by looking at my age group placement, I finished 45/111. Top half--40% to be accurate. That was HUGE progress for me. Whereas I am able to hit the top 10% in a running race (Cleveland Half Marathon 2008), that hasn't happened yet in a long distance triathlon. Not even CLOSE.

In my heart, I knew I wasn't quite as trained as I am by August. AP tests are in a month, so school has been killer, and I'm LUCKY if I get in 6,000 yards a week at the pool. I hadn't biked more than 2 hours at a time. My running was strong, but for the most part it was either on a treadmill or in the cold weather. So, if this was August, I would have set my sights on top 25%. But, realistically, I decided a good day for me would be to crack the top 1/3.

So that's what I set out to do.

Got to New Orleans and had an absolute BLAST with my team and buddies Steve and Sarah. I can't say enough about how amazingly awesome Team Evotri is. These people are not only crazy talented and dedicated, but just genuinely awesome people who tirelessly give back to this sport. They put up with me and my bizarre antics, too, and for that I'm eternally grateful. :) I didn't even bring a freakin' camera down with me, because with Steve around, you just don't need one. For some great tales of the days leading up to the race, as well as pictures of all our shenanigans, check out Steve's post here. He says and illustrates it much better than I do! Thanks, Steve!

Race morning I got up, had my teensy bit of coffee and pre-race bagel with peanut butter, and head out the door. The second I stepped outside I said, "Oh s#$%t." Why would I utter such a phrase? Well, see, it's because at O'Dark Thirty it was ALREADY 73 DEGREES AND SUPER HUMID. Which was hotter and more humid than it has been in Cleveland since about September.

Crap.

Me and the heat? We don't usually get along.

I sighed. There's nothing in the world you can do about the weather, as I learned back at Ironman Wisconsin. You simply adjust. No amount of bitching and moaning will change it. I made sure to grab my electrolyte tabs (I had 17 of them) and started drinking fluids.

We got to the start, and after some grumbling we had to walk the mile to the start line. It seems they didn't have enough shuttles. There were a few things that they seemed to underestimate, and you could definitely tell this was the first time around for this race, but overall it was well-organized. Hopefully next year they will have more shuttles, more fluids, and more volunteers as they DEFINITELY could have used more of all of those things.

The swim was the swim. I knew it wasn't going to be pretty; swimming once or twice a week wasn't going to win me any PRs or speed records. But I was pretty confident I could come out of the water in around 37-38 without being too tired. Still not my best, but doable. I didn't even have a watch, but all I know is that the swim seemed to NEVER end. I caught up to a few people in the wave ahead of me, and a few of the fast people from the last wave caught me in the end, and I came out. Easy peasy. End of story. I didn't even know my time until after the race, and when I saw it was just a smidge over 40, I was pretty disappointed. Many people are saying the swim was a little long, as even the pros were coming out later than usual, but whatevs. I got what I deserved, and my plan was to earn it back on the run.

(That wasn't gonna happen, though. :) Not today, unfortunately)

Anyway, I totally could NOT find my bike in transition. I probably lost a minute or 90 seconds staring at the racks and not comprehending where freaking 1359 was. There were no volunteers to be found--I even tried to find one because I was so out of it and confused! Oh well. Sprayed on my 45 sunblock (I refuse to be sunburned in the name of saving a few seconds--pasty is beautiful, people), and hopped on my bike.

Now, I swear I drank everything I could get my hands on. I was really counting on picking up gatorade at the second stop, but they were OUT ALREADY. And I was in the middle wave! Inexcusable, folks. I paid $225.00 for this race. I expect fluids where you tell me they will be. Oh well...luckily I had a few Nuun tabs and salt pills for electrolytes, but I needed calories. I took little bits of Clif Bar and Fig Newtons every 15 minutes, and salt tabs every 30.

Apparently, it still wasn't enough.

Cause, did I mention it was hot?

The ride was going well--I even started to love my BMC TT02 bike so much that I wanted to make out with it. But then the wind picked up, and it just sucked the life out of me. I tried to tuck in and spin, but it was pretty relentless for a while. I watched my average drop and drop...and I started to feel it. And I got pretty mad.

When I got back to T2, I was disappointed with my time. I wanted to go 2:50; I went 2:58. Which, now that I look back on it, is PRETTY darn GOOD for a chick who didn't ride more than 2 hours EVER in her training. But at the time, I felt like I blew it big time.

But the real problem is that I got off the bike and felt like I had been HIT BY A TRUCK. Clearly, I did not drink enough, even though I swear I drank enough to fill Lake Ponchartrain. I have GOT to figure something out to remedy this. I immediately thought, "There is NO WAY I WILL BE ABLE TO RUN A HALF MARATHON RIGHT NOW." No. Way. I could barely stumble to put my sunscreen on. At Steelhead, I couldn't WAIT to run, and I took off. This time, I honestly didn't think I had it in me. My heartrate was through the roof. I tried to snap out of it, and grabbed my visor. I couldn't let my team down.

The first two miles were sub-9, just like I had planned on. My original goal was to run somewhere around a 1:53 for this race, but I knew in T2 that this was not going to be that day. So I adjusted, and thought, I just need to get through this, period. I actually found my buddy Rob from Cleveland and ran with him from miles 2-7 or so. We joked around as much as we could and he kept me going. It was so good to have a friend to get my mind off the pain. At 7, I told him to leave me as I was really hurting and needed to slow down a bit.

I dry heaved twice on the course and slowed waaaaay down. The lack of fluids was hurting, despite what I thought was a good intake of fluids up to that point. I just wasn't acclimated to the weather, plain and simple. I ended up dropping a few salt tabs at one aid station, and I PICKED THEM OFF THE GROUND. Yeah. I was that desperate. At Steelhead, there were sponges and ice at every stop. Here--no sponges, and I literally had to BEG for ice cubes. Come on, guys. It's Louisiana and it's 85 degrees. I know you all are used to it, but lots of us aren't...throw us a fricken bone here, K? ;)

Anyway, I got to the finish and I was definitely disappointed. I hoped to break 6 at least for my pride. The last mile was awesome and packed with a cheering crowd and music--that definitely helped me focus on something besides the pain. I had a big smile on my face at the end and soaked up as much of the finish line magic as I could, despite the fact that I saw the clock and realized I had missed breaking 6 hours by a measly 42 seconds. Poop sandwich!

Anyway, I really hammed it up for most of my brightroom pictures. I knew I was crashing and burning, so I decided to smile and make it look like I was having fun, because then maybe my body would get the message, right? So here are the pictures--put on your sunglasses so you don't get blinded my my pasty white skin. Remember: pasty is beautiful. ;) Sister Wil got some amazing pics at the finish line, so as soon as I get those from her I'll post them!

You know what's funny though? I forgot that it was a hard day for everyone. That time is, just like Robbie said, NOT always the best indicator of your effort. I saw that I came out of the water in 48th place AG, off the bike in 43, and at the finish in 40. 40/117. Which, is top 34%. Which, my friends, is what we are calling CLOSE ENOUGH. :)

When I look at it that way, knowing what I know: that I have a baby at home who needs me lots, that I probably care way too much about my job and put in more hours than I need to, and that I know I didn't get as many hours in the pool or on the road that I usually get in before these things...well, when I think about that, and see that this 70.3 is my highest age group placement ever...it makes me really proud. And I smile like I'm smiling in those pictures.

So we'll take that 6:00.42. And I'll take the memories and laughs I had with my team and my friends with me back home to the snowy land o' Cleve.

70.3 number 4 is officially in the books.

I love this stuff.

Technically we have to call that a PR

...although I still maintain Steelhead is my "real" PR. But if we're going by 70.3s involving actual swimming, this performance was still 29 minutes better than the last one I did swimming.

(but I still don't think I'm going to call it my PR)

;)

Anyways, just got back. Had an aaaaaamazing time in New Orleans! This week is going to be nuts so I'll do a full report as soon as I can, but it might not be until I'm on El Spring Breako on Friday.

The bottom line? Good friends RULE.

New Orleans is an AWESOME town.

And I learned a very important rule.

THOU SHALT NOT LIVE IN CLEVELAND AND DO AN EARLY APRIL RACE IN THE DEEP SOUTH.

All kidding aside, that was definitely the most challenging half I've done due to the conditions. I knew when it was 72 degrees and humid like the Amazon at 5:17am, I was in big, BIG trouble. So that being said, I'm pretty happy with the results. Obviously, the time wasn't what I was going for, but you have to adjust to what the day gives you, and my placement was just about where I know I deserved to be. So that's a good thing.

And beignets are TASTEEEEEEEEEEE.

And fig newtons are moister than ever.

And apparently I have a really sick sense of humor.

I came home to find a dusting of snow, the kitchen cabinets redone, and a big bouquet of tulips along with some chocolate covered oreos and some Blue Moon. Which is why Matt = AWESOME.

Okay, time to try to get stuff ready to teach tomorrow...yikes!

More to come!

Enough

I've come to realize, over the past 18 months now, that good enough is sometimes good enough. And me at 85% is still better than some people at 100%.

There will always be people greater and lesser than you. With more time. More money. Less obligations.

Some with a road much harder, and some with a road much easier.

But part of the reason I love this sport is because it's such a good metaphor for life. Triathlon is, simply, what you put into it. You are ultimately competing against yourself. You know your strengths, and you know your weaknesses. A good triathlon is hard by nature; there's no such thing as an easy Ironman. Or 70.3. We don't really want it that way, to be honest.

That's not why we're here.

In the midst of this whirlwind past four months, I've burned the midnight oil getting work done only to get up at 4:45am to work out, so that I could kiss my little boy and feed him his oatmeal before I went to work. So that I could take him to the park or read him stories after work. It's easy to feel like I'm not accomplishing enough. It's in my nature to do so, and I think it's in many of our natures as well.

Am I good enough?

Am I doing this right?

So I fall down occasionally. Dinner gets burned or sometimes comes from a box. A workout gets cut short. Papers get a check mark.

But every once in a while, I get a reminder that I am, indeed, doing this right.

Watching my Bug run and laugh.

Crossing the finish line at the Columbus Marathon.

Getting off my bike at Steelhead.

I'm reminded again and again, that I'm capable of more than I know. That as frantic as my days can be, I'm lucky enough to do all of it by choice. There are many people out there who would love a job right now--any job--and I have one that I love. There are some who can't run around the block, and I get to run around the French Quarter this weekend.

So all of this has me just kinda thinking this time around.

Under normal circumstances, i.e. SUMMER TRAINING, I'd have my game plan all ready to go and a clear gauge of what I wanted to do on each discipline. But I really don't this time.

I know, without a doubt, I haven't spent as much time in the pool as I'd like to. In the summer, I live in the Lake and the pool, but it's been rough getting there more than twice a week. I've ridden outside twice in the past four months. My running is strong, but will it be strong after 56 miles?

But experience has got to count for something. That's what I'm banking on here. This will be my fourth half-ironman distance. Maybe I don't need my training wheels as much anymore.

Bug will be 18 months next week, and his favorite thing to do is run run run and climb and jump as much as possible. And he squirms whenever we're outside and I'm holding him, or when he wants to go down the stairs. He just wants to do it himself. I'm sad to admit it...but...

...he doesn't need me like he used to.

And I know that this is how it goes. They get bigger; they want to run. Run to the school bus and to football games and play practice and then to college halfway around the country. And you have to let them go, and trust that you've done the best you can. That you've done all you can. Even if you don't feel like it's enough.

Because if you've done your job, than you have done enough. They will take it from there.

I'm going to put my faith in my training, my experience, and my growth over these past 4 months. I know I haven't done everything, but I've done everything I possibly could have without sacrificing the amazing things I've got going here.

As I casually mentioned today that they'd have a sub for a few days to my students, one asked why. I told them. They asked a few funny questions, including, "Are you going to win?"

I laughed. "No, Nick...I'm not going to win."

He seemed a little puzzled.

"I'm not going to win," I attempted to explain. "I'm going to beat me."

And with that, I'm off to New Orleans.

Cheating

Just got back from "running" more errands. Which means pushing Bug while I go to the post office, et.al. And by "et. al," I mean stopping by Malley's Chocolates to create a "sampler" of eggs.

(You know...like an appetizer sampler. But with eggs. Chocolate-covered ones. Mint, Raspberry, Cherry, and Peanut Butter. And I'm splitting them with Matt so we can see which ones are best. Someone needs to do quality-control for the Easter Bunny, OKAY?)

This week was one of those where I felt like I was hit by a truck at work with SCHTUFF to do. For all those of you that speak Teacher, it was the END OF THE QUARTER. And STUPID me had the kids turn in projects and take tests the last two days.

*bangs head against wallwhywhywhywhywhydoIdothistomyselftenyearsshouldhavetaughtmebetter*

The good news is, the projects were awesome. I'm always amazed at what kids do if you give them a little wiggle room for creativity. I had a few kids make documentaries about D-Day, the Holocaust, and one made one about her family friend who fought in Europe. They were sooooooooooooo cool.

Bad news--I spent LOTS of time after school grading and grading and grading some more. But I think it's finally done. Yay!

So I shipped my bike Monday afternoon so it could go to Sweet's place...see, my team is taking a Clark W. Griswold style van and DRIVING to New Orleans for next weekend's race.

They are leaving Wednesday, so my bike had to be there before they left. Well, turns out it's there already! Which is great and all, except for one thing. It's 50 degrees here and sunny which means that not only will you see an abundance of Cleveland-ers out in t-shirts and flip flops, but IT WOULD BE A PERFECT DAY TO RIDE. Arg.

So, Thursday I did get in a tough ride at the last Spin/Second Sole Trainer Session--I cut the intervals down a bit but still went the full 2 hours. Then, afterwards, we had pizza and beer. Tasteeeeeee. Plus, they gave out goody bags with schwag in them! Can't beat that. The only trouble is that I had to ride a spin bike because mine was gone. (sniff sniff. tear.)

And let me tell you, it was NOT COMFORTABLE. Ouch. I definitely paid for cheating on my baby, my BMC. I think I pulled a little muscle in my left leg, so I'm going to really take it easy. And, uh, my legs weren't the only things that hurt, if you know what I mean. Ouch ouch ouch.

So, I don't plan on cheating on my baby anymore. I hope he doesn't hold a grudge. Right now he's in Illinois, and isn't there some rule about area codes and stuff?

Anyways, this week will be a little nuts as I prepare to fly out Friday morning. I'll do one more wrap up post before the race if I can, and lay out the plan. This should be interesting, to say the least! I am just flat out not used to racing this early, and something about it feels really wierd. Kinda like I'm celebrating New Year's Eve on September 9th, or something. But I just have to remember I've been putting in a lot of hours for quite some time now, and this will be my 4th half ironman distance, and experience has got to count for somethin'. You know?

Here's to the adventure!

Second-Guessing Time

Tomorrow, I tune up the bike and then get ready to send it out on Monday.

I've never sent my bike anywhere before.

(gulp)

I'm sure it will be fine, but this control freak is going to have a little tough time packing it up and then walking away.

Not sure what to expect at this race, and maybe that's a good thing. I've never done a race before while having no open-water swims, 2 rides outside, and training in the cold when the race will be warm. I'm excited, but also realistic. I need to be ready for the heat and humidity and my body is not acclimated like it usually is. So, I'm going to have to be extra careful with nutrition. I'm a crazy mad salty sweater as it is. Hopefully things will stay in the 70s, but I'm not really even checking the weather. I learned not to after IM Wisconsin '06. If you're going to check, check the hour before you head out. Otherwise, not worth it.

I haven't gotten to the pool as much as I'd like to, but I feel fine in the water. I haven't rode more than 2 hours at a time, but they were always 2 really intense hours. So, this should be interesting. My running is the strongest it's ever been, and there's a teensy part of me that says I should screw the 70.3 and try for a 1:45 half marathon, or throw a few more long runs in and go for a 3:45-3:50 full. But, I'm sure this is just the 2 week jitters combined with a totally different training experience than I have had in my last 4 half ironmans.

I'm ready...I know I am. I think I just have the taper blues or somethin'. Hopefully tomorrow's run will fix it...and another CSU win would be nice, too! (even though I didn't pick them to win next round)

Whatever the day throws at me, I'm going to give it my all and see what happens. That's all you can do, right?

Too much of a good thing?

Is there such a thing as too much cyber-interaction?

I dunno...I have a blog and stuff, but for some reason I'm thinking I'm gonna pull my facebook account. Just a few things that have gotten me a bit worried. When I signed up a while back, I didn't know you could restrict privacy and all that jazz until after the fact. I guess the thing I like about here is I'm in charge, you know? Not so much a fan of not being in charge of ME...hmmm....so, if I drop off the FB radar, don't be offended, K? I still got mad love for ya.

Plus, I just like to write. More than a sentence. So I'm sticking around here FO' SHO'.

Holy crap, I leave for New Orleans in 2 weeks.

And holy crap, I need to find a bike box. And figure out what to do with it. Fast.

Hoping to get one more ride outside before I A) find a bike box, B) figure out what to do with said box and C) send my bike somewhere. So, Saturday, if you're listening, 50 degrees or so would be splendid. K, thx.

Had a fantabulous swim yesterday. I wasn't sure how good I'd be since I haven't been to the pool much (story of my past few months--see, if it's not in my basement, it's hard to do), but I busted out my fastest 100 that I can remember for some time. Scwheet. Don't worry, it still wasn't THAT fast...but fast for me. For post-14-year-old-me, I should say. :)

Alright, so we need to figure out how much off the radar we're gonna drop, and all kinds of bike logistics, and squeezing in a few more rides and...uh...I'd better sign off here before I get all kinds of overwhelmed.

Happy Friday!

Running Errands

This morning, I ran on the treadmill and watched 24 (standard operating procedure for a Tuesday).

And that was supposed to be my workout for the day, but it was SO. GORGEOUS. OUTSIDE. so I decided to run some errands.

Me, Bug, and Matt RAN to CVS to get some diapers. Then, we RAN to the park so Bug could play on the boat and climb on the castle and go down the slide. Then, we RAN home--jogging stroller full of diapers, a water bottle, some Sharkies, and a giggling boy.

And that's the most fun I've had running errands. Ever.

Chasing Boston

Sunday, I went for a run.

It was still a little cold, but not a cloud in the sky. Lake Erie has thawed out, and the blue of the sky met the whitecaps as the wind came off the lake. I love to run on the lake, following the water. It's one of my favorite places to ride, too. Lately most of my training has been alone, and I am really enjoying it that way. It's good to have company once in a while, and I'm lucky to have a few good partners nearby. But sometimes it's best for me to just be alone. Just me, the lake, the sun, and the iPod.

It's been three years now since I trained for the Ironman. Scared out of my wits, I built a whole year of my life around that day. I needed people then--people to help me, to pace me, to wait for me at the top as I blinked back tears and cursed hills on my bike. I was a newbie in every sense of the word. That summer, I met an amazing group of people. We had this thing--this big scary monster called Ironman--and we rallied around each other.

lights go out and I can't be saved
tides that I tried to swim against
brought me down upon my knees
oh I beg, I beg and plead

Sunday when I ran, I remembered that spring. How scared I was. How I didn't know if I had it in me, but I wanted it more than anything.

tiger's waiting to be tamed

Certain songs make me think of Ironman. It came on, and I was reminded. With each step of the pavement, I remembered the fear. The sheer and utter fear that motivated me through that summer.

confusion never stops
closing walls and ticking clocks
gonna come back and take you home
I could not stop that you know now

As I ran, I remembered all the emotions. This was the song in the highlight video--the free DVD you get the next day. And as my feet hit the pavement scenes flashed in my head to the music. Finding Al's note in my bento box. Holding Tracy's hand as I got in the water. Peeing my neoprene pants for the first time ever. Seeing my knuckles turn blue from the cold. Wearing the trash bag for the marathon. Hearing, "It's bloody cold!" The feeling I got when I knew I would make it.

oh nothing else compares
oh nothing else compares

What I know now, three years later, is that I left that fear on those Madison streets forever. Ironman allowed me to let go of my fear, of every second I doubted anything. Part of me is the same girl I was three years ago, but part of me has been changed forever. It's a moment I remember much as I did in a high school stadium wearing a white gown one June evening 14 years ago, at an airport on the down escalator one late summer day in 2001, an August afternoon in 2004, or a sunny October day almost 18 months ago.

I'm at peace swimming, cycling, and running alone now. Now what motivates me is seeing how far I can go--but this time, not out of fear. I know now without any doubt that I can do anything I dedicate myself to, even if I fall down a few times. I enjoy the lonely road, and don't really miss the races at all. A few here and there are just perfect for me. I'm at home on Lake Road, chasing the water and the shadow girl, knowing that my little man, big man, and furry four-legged man are at home waiting for me.

home, home, where I wanted to go
home, home, where I wanted to go

I'm about to end this "season" I've trained for. It's my August now. It's go time. And when I come back, I'm going to chase Boston. And it will take me a while (most likely a few years), and probably a few fantastic falls along the way. But I know without a doubt in my mind I'll catch it.

Because with just me, the road, the lake, and the boys...really, that's all I need.

So, Thursday I rode in the South of France

Seriously!

Well, kinda.

I did my Thursday night spin class again--these have been ROCKIN' as far as preparing me for New Orleans (which is 3 weeks from tomorrow, kids...yikes). I tell ya what, I never work that hard on my own. No way, Jose. Me in my basement for two hours means spinning and kinda zoning out and that's about it. No matter how hard I try, I just don't duplicate the ridiculous effort that I get on Thursday nights. My watts hit 500 this week! Something about having some friends to suffer with you in a room with great tunes seems to really help me focus.

So we've been having themes lately to mix it up. A few weeks ago was 80s hair night. A few buddies even came with wigs and sequined headbands! Then we did ladies night, and last night was the 6th stage of Paris-Nice complete with a map of the elevation and the "estimated times" we'd reach each climb. Andy, our fearless leader, did a great job of making us feel like we were in the peloton and racing the 182K stage. There were Cat 3 climbs thrown in, too. For this triathlete who has never ever ever done a cycling race before, it was pretty fun! Thanks to the Spin-Second Sole Multisport Team for putting on these great workouts! And, the free beer and good conversation afterwards was the icing on the cake. :)

This weekend, I've got a solid bunch of training sessions to get in. Today, when Bug naps, I'll do a 2 hour ride with a 20 minute runoff. Tomorrow, I'm going to run for 1:30 and then swim 3000 yards when he naps. Three weeks from tomorrow, I'm jumping in Lake Ponchartrain (or however you spell it...my apologies to the lake) for what will be my first open water swim of the season--in a race. Interesting. It is pretty cold today, so it looks like today's spin will be inside unless it warms up by 1 or so. Right now it's sunny and gorgeous but 20 degrees. I totally underestimated how cold it was when I went up to the kids' resale at an area school and braved the crowds to get Bug a sweet tunnel to crawl through for five bucks and an awesome Indians outfit for Opening Day for three bucks!

(Ahhhh, good deals. Me love you long time.)

Anyway, I've almost made it. Things are clicking. I'm really tired, but feeling like I'm getting pretty strong. Been putting in a lot of extra time at school and it paid off for my AP students. They just rocked their last test, and I think they're starting to see that taking this harder class, pushing themselves more than anyone else who's taking the easier US History, and generally suffering more has made them stronger and ready to take on the big test in 32 school days.

So, I'm just going to get through this one workout at a time, one session at a time...and pretty soon it will be time to pack up my bike and get this party started.

Gotta go crawl through a tunnel in my basement now! ;)

Can I call that a hill workout?

You know what's crazy hard?

Pushing a 28.5 pounder in a not-very-aerodynamic jogging stroller in the wind while attempting to do 3X6 minute repeats of your half marathon pace dropping down to 10K pace.

SUPER.

HARD.

A lot harder than I remember back last March, when my little Bug was just about 15 pounds...

How is he already so big?! Man, this is going fast...

Empty Hallways

I rode outside yesterday for the first time since our freak 70 degree day on December 27th. I was really, really excited to ride outside. The goal was 2 hours--hopefully beating the storm--and then maybe a little runoff.

But it was not to be.

Because, I sucked.

There's really no other way to put it except that I. SUCKED. Now, I know the wind was blowing and it was raining a bit and blah blah blah. But I just could barely push any watts and felt like I was on empty pretty much the whole time. I still made it about 1:40, but I came home and crumpled up in a ball on the kitchen floor to attempt to stretch while being accosted by a pug and tackled by a 1 year old.

It was very much a disappointment. Not in the ride, but in me. In fact, it really freaked the crap out of me. I have been having such good workouts lately that I guess I just expected to ride like the wind, and when I didn't, I was a little worried.

What if this is how I ride on April 5?

Now, the more pragmatic side of me has kicked in and reminded me of no taper, high volume, a busy week at school, and all that stuff. But what really reminded me was watching Bug last night at a benefit dinner.

My friend's husband was killed in an accident in October. It was awful. He was a wonderful person and left behind a son and a daughter as well as an amazing wife. He was a scout leader for his son's Boy Scout troop, and they had a benefit dinner last night in his memory, so we went with many of my work friends to show our support for her and to honor his memory.

There was this really long hallway when you got there, and to Bug it was the greatest thing ever. I wish I would have had a camera to capture the look on his face when he saw nothing but a long, empty hallway in front of him. To Bug that means, "RUN RUN RUNRUNRUUUUUUNNNNN!!!" and it was pretty exhausting chasing after him. And every once in a while he'd fall--I mean WIPE OUT fall--and each time he'd just get back up and run again, full speed ahead, not caring about the bump on his lip or scratch on his pants.

To him, a fall is just part of the run. It's just a little time away from the joy that is forward motion.

I was reminded of many things last night--one being how when you say goodbye to your loved ones in the morning with a quick kiss and maybe a hug, that that is sometimes it, and there's no good reason for it. And another being that all of us, at one time or another, were in rooms with big long hallways. And we smiled and ran ran ran as fast as we could. And usually fell. And got up and kept running.

I've got a few more weeks of my long empty hallway ahead of me. I hope I can capture even just a tiny bit of his joy when he is running down it.

And as our hallways go on for years and years, and some are cut short for inexplicable reasons, may we all be smiling, dusty-knees and all.

Feeling Like Spring

Yesterday, I did a swim. 100s at race pace, and then 400s where I did the first 100 5-10% below race pace, 100 easy, 100 at race pace and 100 5-10% above race pace. I was tired, because I'm doing a lot of training right now. But I can't help but feel at home in the pool. Each 100 had its purpose; each one received my full attention.

Each one had its purpose.

As I glided through the water, I saw the effects of a bright and sunny, but still very chilly day. The sun was shining through the windows and I saw my reflection on the bottom of the pool. I was a little shocked to see the swimmer shadow version of me...I looked lean and strong, much like my runner's shadow that I'm always chasing outside. It's slowly warming up here, although I'm sure we'll get at least one big snowstorm. I'm not used to feeling like this in March, and by "this," I mean pretty damn strong.

One month from today I'll do a half ironman, and I know I can't control a lot. I can't control the humidity or heat, for sure. But I tell you what--I am as ready as I will ever be for this race. It's been rough getting in the hours, but I've made every hour I could do count. Every 100, every mile, and every spin session had a purpose. There was no "junk" in this plan. There's no "junk" in me right now, except for the occasional reward of Mitchell's ice cream.

(come on, a girl's gotta live a little)

I am very excited to travel to a race, to see my teammates--all of them--and to see a city full of such history and music and food I can barely stand it. I feel like this race will be more of an experience than usual. And I'm thinking of my goals, but at the same time, that's not my main thought right now. I'm just thinking of how much fun it will be to ride in a new, exciting, culturally and historically rich city, with friends and with my shadow...my loyal training partner.

I've made every moment I could get to prepare count. Every single moment.

I'm almost ready for this new race.

Hey swimming and cycling--YOU LISTENIN'?

What the freak show has gotten into my running lately?!

I don't know what the heck's going on. But it's in a good way. Earlier this week I did 6 miles and negative split it heeeyooooggggee-ly, and today I did the same thing on my 1:45 run. Ended up going 11.5 miles with a ginormous negative split.

Bonus!

It's seriously nuts. What feels like a nice easy pace is what used to borderline my half marathon race pace. I'm not sure what's going on. I swear I'm not on "the cream" or "the clear."

You hear that, A-Rod? I AM LEGIT.

Anyhoo.

Training is ramping up, which means I am teetering on the borderline of sanity/insanity. It also means I am EATING EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT NAILED DOWN. This week threw some crazy curveballs at me, but I'm going to be able to hit most of my workouts, which I am pretty darn proud of.

The pool is--the pool, meaning, it's not in my basement so it's harder to get to, but I'm super consistent when I'm there (pace-wise, that is). I feel like such a pool underachiever. If I could get there 4-5 times a week, I'm sure I'd see some definite time dropped off. But I just don't have that luxury. So, I'm just trying to get there as much as I can, which lately, hasn't been much. Good thing I can (relatively speaking of course) kinda wing it...I definitely can't do that on the bike or run.

Cycling is coming along. I am coming to terms with the fact that I might have to just sack up and get outside in very much less than ideal conditions here pretty soon. I mean, holy CRAP it's almost March, which means I'm almost a MONTH OUT...and I really need to get a little actual road experience, you know? So I'm really, really hoping for a nice 60-70 degree dry Saturday or Sunday in March. However, Cleveland is known to have absolutely nutty March weather, ranging from 75 and sunny to 15 and 18 inches of snow. So, the reality is, I might have to bundle up and get out there in (gulp) more like 40 degrees.

*crossing fingers*

So there you have it. A teensy part of me is thinking perhaps I should have signed up for a spring marathon with the way this running is going, and knock a few minutes off on my quest to BQ. But, there's plenty of time for that, right?

After all, in 4 years, my qualifying time goes up five more minutes.

(don't worry--there ain't no WAY I'm waiting THAT long) ;)

I'll leave you with a little conversation that was had in my doctor's office last week:

Nurse: I'll just need to take your blood pressure.

TST: OK--no problem!

Nurse: *looks at the numbers* Wow, that's really low...

TST: Yeah, I know. My old doctor used to joke with me about it...

Nurse: Well, that's a good thing! Now let me take your resting pulse.

TST: *thinking: oooo goody! this is always a fun one*

Nurse: *scrunches face* Um...wait, let me do this one more time...

pause for dramatic effect

Nurse: *makes funny face* Wow--are you aware your resting pulse is 47? Do you exercise or something?

TST: Uh, yeah. A little bit.

Yahoo for endurance sports! You make TST's ticker strong. :)

A Love Note

Dear Speedo Long-Hair Silicone Swim Cap,

I heart you.

Forgive me for gushing, but I've never met a cap like you before. I just can't explain how much I lurve you, oh cap.

I figured I was just doomed to have my cap suck the life off my head forever. Or, until I cut off my hair. And the last time I made a drastic haircut was in 1998...ten inches, cap. With some nice layers, too. You know who else had dark hair with layers that was shoulder-length and made some BAD PRESS in 1998? Let me give you a hint: it rhymes with Schmonica Ploominsky. And I was a bit overweight. And student teaching 8th graders.

Never. Again. Cap. Never again can I cut my hair short.

So I just figured I was doomed to my ears being pinched and mumbling obscenities as I fixed my cap three times in one 20 minute time trial. Or even trying to perfect the one-armed cap-fix during a race. I've gotten quite good at that, actually.

And then I met you.

Long-hair cap, you will be with me forever. I never knew I could feel this way about a cap. Now I don't have to cut off my hair OR have my brain sucked out the top of my plastic-coated head.

As far as love is concerned, you fall somewhere above delicious enchiladas, the color red, and lip gloss, and slightly behind Stadium Mustard and peanut butter.

(Trust me, cap...that's not an easy spot to earn.)

Love always,
TST

Gettin' R' DONE.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just step back a bit, you know?

I haven't had much time for blogging lately. Or returning emails. Or facebooking and whatnot.

But you know what?

I'm gettin' it done.

What I have been doing, is supervising 32 students in a sea of 2,500 high school students from around the world, in the same hotel, in a huge city, for four days. Kind of a big freakin' responsibility. The kind that keeps you up all night wondering if they are really where they say they are, and gets you up early as your phone is ringing and texts are buzzing and the door is knocking. But, the kind that allows you to see a few amazing friends, a super-awesome friend and her equally awesome fiance, have a long long theraputic discussion with one Nutter who I am so proud of, and even go for a run on the Lakeshore with another Nutter I'm lucky to have as a friend. And, even run into one Ironfriend on his way home from work amidst thousands of Chicagoans on Monroe Avenue while I snuck out to do a quick "sanity run" after a less-than perfect, Murphy's Law kind of check in scenario on the first day.

8 out of 32 students of mine walked home with awards amidst some serious and international competition, and I'm crazy proud of them.

I've been snuggling with my Bug as much as I can, since leaving him was NOT EASY. At all.

I've been celebrating Matt's 34th birthday and Valentine's Day, with his respective gifts of Cavs/Pistons tickets for 2/22 and Tribe Opening Day Tickets for Good Friday since we are both off. I know. I'm a pretty good wife. ;)

I've been trying, rather unsuccessfully, to un-bury myself from a huge pile of work and issues that have built up on my desk this week. But I'm getting better at walking away and trying to exhale and say, "It'll all get done somehow."

And I've been training. A LOT.

New Orleans is 7 weeks from tomorrow, and I'm feeling pretty good. I don't know what's going to happen as far as heat and humidity and things that I cannot control, but I do know that I am doing all that I can on my end.

I'll have this body as ready as it can be.

I'm kicking my own butt every Thursday at a 2 hour, intense like nobody's business, sweat-dripping-off-my-nose-and-chin crazy interval hill insanity of a spin class geared towards triathletes and roadies. And let me just say that I've never felt so good on the bike at this point in the season in my LIFE. Hopefully the weather will turn a bit so I can bundle up and get outside to test my fitness. My running is coming along--today I did just under 11 miles and felt great. Negative split the thing in the snow. My light lifting has allowed me to strengthen and see a few little muscles if I move certain ways which is kind of nice. The pool is harder to get to, but when I do, I make it count. I'm making peace with my swimming and know that my slightly-better-than-mediocre swim is still pretty good, and also to understand that I have the biggest amount to gain not in the water, but on the run.

Seven weeks away, which means it's really like mid-to-late June in my normal season. Time to focus in for a few more weeks as best I can, and balance as much as I can as I enter my busiest time of the school year--state testing and the final 3 months before the AP test. Right about now I'm wondering why I thought this was a good idea...really, April 5th, you IDIOT?!?!?! One month before the AP test, DURING our final Model UN Conference, and with most of your training in the DEAD OF THE OHIO WINTER? Brilliant.

But I'm reminded that I do my best work under a bit of pressure. I always have, and somehow I'll make this work. My lowest grade point average in college came in the semester when I had the least amount of credit hours and didn't work at the library.

(It was a 3.4, by the way. Because TRISARATOPS = A HUGE NERD.)

So load me up with these final few credit hours. Somehow I'll get there, and I have a whole new sense of what matters. I've been forced to readjust and cut out a few things, and am still learning as I go how to let go of what doesn't matter. Aren't we all, right?

The race will be fun, but the real fun will be testing myself, exploring a city full of history and music and food and my friends.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go snuggle with my Bug. :)

The Good News and the Bad News

The good news is...

MY GIRL CERVEZA IS GOING TO BE IN NEW ORLEANS WHEN I AM!!!

Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeyahoo!

Cerveza is going again on her spring break to volunteer and help rebuild homes, because she's awesome like that. She did it last year, too. So watch out, Big Easy, because here comes two Nutter chicks! Can't wait to hit Bourbon Street with her and quote Billy Madison.

The bad news is...

I am SO not going to get ANY sleep from Thursday to Sunday.

I'm taking 32 students to Chicago, which is fun and all, but they are in meetings and don't have curfew until 12:30am CST. This body is on EST, folks. So what that means is that I'm looking AT BEST at a bedtime of 1am (which will feel like 2) for THREE DAYS.

Ugh.

This might be a setback in the training a bit. Hopefully I'll be able to squeeze some in somehow.

Good news?

I kicked my own arse last night again at spinning! 2 hours never went so fast or felt so sweatily good. We did some cadence drills and then a 51 minute CLIMB. It was hella tough, but just what I needed.

Bad news?

I'm already freaking out about leaving Jackson next week. I am not sure how I'm going to hold it together when I leave him. The only other time I left him was at WIBA, which was hard and I didn't sleep much, but I had my buddies with me. This time I don't. Arg.

Good news?

I am pretty much the best wife ever for Matt's birthday gift (February 10th) and Valentine's Day. I can't say why yet, but trust me. I will score MAJOR points.

And now, please excuse me while I eat some ice cream. Because it makes total sense to eat ice cream when there are 15 inches of snow on the ground.

At least it does in my world.

What NOT to eat before a swim

One of the things I love about Cleveland is how ethnically diverse it is. There really is every different kind of person and background in this town. Which, of course, means great food. Ethiopian, Thai, Czech, Polish, Italian, Slovak...and especially, my FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT, Aladdin's Eatery. Mmmmmmmmm. Tasty Middle Eastern cuisine.

SOOOOOOOOOOO tasteeeeeeee.

But, my friends, that is NOT the best thing to eat before you crank out 3000 yards. Unless you want it to go like this:

Stroke stroke stroke breathe
BURP FALAFFEL
stroke stroke breathe
BURP GRAPE LEAVES
stroke stroke breath
FLIP TURN BURP BABA GHANNOUSH
stroke stroke breath
BURRRRRRRPPPPPPPP ARAYISS PITA

Yeah. Pretty much my swim yesterday. Lesson learned.

(still totally worth it, though)

Big disappointment in my swimming TT from Sunday, BTW. Boooooo hiss. I did the EXACT FRICKEN THING I DID LAST YEAR. And, my STOOOOPID cap came off three times. To quote the great movie "Christmas Story," the cloud of my obscenities is still hanging over Oberlin pool. Good thing no one heard me, since everyone else was swimming. Arg! No excuses. If Michael Phelps can win a gold medal with his goggles full of water, I should have been able to get through a 20 minute TT with my cap not sucking the life out of my head.

Needless to say, I also ordered a silicone cap for "Long Hair" from swimoutlet.com. It's that or get my hair cut short, which is just not an option.

Anyway, I guess I should still be OK with my performance. It was fine. But I am just kinda tired of being sorta fine in the water. I've been swimming like crazy lately...couldn't I have at least been a 50 faster than last year?! Arg. I swear I have one speed in the water...slightly better than mediocre. We can just call me TriSaraTops the Slighty-Better-Than-Mediocre-Swimmer.

/end venting/

There, I feel better now. ;)

I'm getting pumped for New Orleans, fo' sho'! Can't believe I am just about 2 months out. So basically, this is like June for me. I usually race in August, and I've never raced hard in April before. So I'm trying to get in the mindset of June. June's pretty serious. June's time to put the hammer down.

And the hummus and tabbouli.

Race Weight...do I have such a thing?

Hmmmm.

So today I had a FANTABULOUS run.

Well--back up.

Today, I had such a fun morning with the boys...I woke up and Matt got us yummy bagels. Then, we took Bug to a local library for a singing and story show with our buddies and his friends, Norah and Elliot. Then we all went back to our friend's place and they played while we caught up and ate a tasty lunch. Then Bug fell asleep on the way home.

THEN, I went for a run.

And it was fabulous. I was supposed to do 20 minutes at "base," then 20 minutes of Zone 2 including a few pickups to 5K pace. I opted not to do that, as the roads were hella icy and I was afraid I'd lose my footing since we all know my 5K pace really requires serious wheezing/heaving/possible wiping out on a perfect day, let alone an icy one. Then I was supposed to hold 20 minutes at "Zone 3" which I took to be tempo, and the rest cool down.

So the interesting thing is that my "base" time averaged 8:56/mile. Which is funny, as it felt great and easy, and that SO was not my base time pre-Bug. My tempo was about 8:20, which given that part of it was on a seriously snowy sidestreet, I was happy. And even with an easy cooldown, my overall pace for the 8.5 miles was 8:51.

Funny, also, that this run took me a total of 1:15 and it took me 2:13 to go only 8 miles last weekend! My how times and terrains have changed.

But I digress.

Anyhoo, what I was thinking is that I have lost a few more pounds. Don't get too excited or anything, but I'm at just about 144/145 now, which is definitely lower than when I got tested in Chicago at VQ last year (I weighed in at 153 there). I'm wondering if those few extra pounds are playing a role in why it feels easier to go at a faster pace at base.

Also, I just bought the greatest pair of pants ever. Reason #1: They were $7.47 marked down from $59.00. Yes, I am the BARGAIN QUEEN, beeyotches. Reason #2: They are a size FOUR.

FOUR?!

I have never in my life been a size 4. Not even at birth. I went from a 14/16 girls to a size 10 in middle school. Holy vanity sizing, Batman.

But it's weird, as I still feel like my basic frame is the same...I think it just rearranged or something. But it also made me think more about this whole idea of those couple of extra pounds playing a role in my pace.

So that's the scoop on that.

Oh, and why can't my suit give me a little warning that it's going to disintegrate? Seriously. I mean, I put the thing on last week and it's fine. I put it on this week and I am borderline indecent. Thank goodness I could hit swimoutlet.com to take a stab at the grab bag again. I went with the TYR reversible again (which is what I currently have), as I figure that at least ONE side is presentable. So far, I've never been let down by the grab bag! It's the only time I ever gamble.

I am definitely super tired now, and have been sleeping like a rock this week as the workouts are really ramping up. I can't believe I'm approaching 8 weeks to New Orleans...where has the time gone?!

Tomorrow morning it's time trial time in the pool...wish me luck!

I am the sweatiest human being ALIVE.

So last night I went to a 2 hour, triathlon-geared spin class that we are lucky enough to have right down the street from where I live. It's run by an awesome guy in my triathlon club, and I thought it would be a great way to get a long ride in since the 1:45s on my trainer in the basement MAKE ME WANT TO BANG MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL. Plus, by doing my longer ride Thursday night, I can do shorter stuff on the weekend and have more time with my boys.

Holy. Smokes.

I was once again reminded that I have an ABNORMALLY HIGH, HOMO-SAPIEN DEFYING SWEAT RATE. Like, I can't even begin to tell you. I was absolutely disgusting. I filled up my towel within the first hour, and pretty much sweat after I got home until at least 10pm. Note to self:

1. You NASTY.

2. You need more than 1 water bottle for this class. What crack were you smoking when you thought bringing one was enough?

3. You need to bring a complete change of clothes, as soaking through your zip-up AND your vest almost made Matt back away to the other side of the kitchen upon arrival.

4. This workout was AWESOME, and you need to be there weekly to help you get ready for IM New Orleans 70.3, which is fast approaching 8 weeks away.

We did something like this:

20 minutes warm up
a bunch of cadence work: 2 sets of something like 1 minute at 120, 1 minute EZ, 4 minutes at 110, 1 minute EZ, 6 minutes at 100, 1 minute EZ
some other stuff I can't remember (my brain was turning to sweaty mush at this point)
strength work: 5 minutes Zone 2-3 (I was trying to keep my watts around 160), 1 minute standing, 1 minute recovery, than 4 minutes at 160 watts, 2 minutes standing, 3 minutes at 160, 3 minutes standing, 2 minutes Zone 2, 4 minutes standing, and 1 minute Zone 2, 5 minutes standing (wanted to DIE DIE DIE)
Ended with some alternating cadence and strength work

It was super fun to ride with friends and I NEVER in a MILLION years would push myself that hard in my basement watching a movie.

I did have some technical difficulties with my bike--the stupid tire started rubbing AGAIN and I know this is somehow my fault. I just can't seem to get the adjustments right when I move my bike (like in that olympic race I did last August). I really need to figure that out, because I'll be SUPER angry to the 10th power if it happens in New Orleans. Harumph. Luckily a buddy helped me fix it and was nice enough to pause his workout to help little ol' me. Thanks! :)

Up for this weekend--a swim out at Oberlin with my tri club friends including a 20 minute time trial...we'll see how this goes! I've been feeling great in the pool lately.

For now, I need to stop sweating. I'm going to cause a tidal wave of nastiness to the poor people riding around me.

Sharing Winter

I love sharing winter days with my boys.

Buckeye Trail

So, thanks for all the advice on the last post.

I decided on Saturday I felt good enough to go for it. Even Coach Emily said that I might as well give it a shot, and if the worst that happens is I get 8 miles in on the trail and then have some coffee with friends, how bad is that, right? Which was true.

I still didn't feel totally 100%. I tried to get some dinner at the grocery store last night and literally NOTHING sounded good. Do you know what we had? A small pizza and some chicken wings for Matt, and for me--EGGO waffles.

Seriously. That's ALL that sounded good.

So I had my 2 eggos and a few strawberries, and Matt had his pizza and wings. I did have a small slice of pizza after I decided it might smell good, which then rounded out the most bizarre and random dinner ever.

So the alarm went off at 4:50am so I could meet TriEric and Aimee to hitch a ride. We headed out and the snow was coming down pretty good. The roads were a mess and I wondered what the trail would be like.

So it went like this: there were two loops, the 8 mile and the 5 mile (and change). So depending on what race you wanted to do (which the RD announced was basically whatever you felt like doing! It was a TOTALLY laid-back vibe), you either started on the 8 or 5. The 8 was supposedly a little more challenging than the 5. We were starting off on the 8, so I was a little nervous to see what I could do. My plan was to do the 8 and if I felt like I could keep going, I'd keep going.

Aimee and I at the start

DaisyDuc, Me, and TriEric

JT, getting ready to rock!

Let me just say how AWESOME the volunteers, course, and race were. I'm totally back for next year! It was an absolutely gorgeous course. We are really lucky to have such an amazing park system and ultra/running community here!

Right about now, at the start line asking myself, "Stomach--you in, buddy?"

Aimee on a stretch known as Pine Lane. Thanks to the volunteers who shoveled a bit of a path for us!

The hills were KILLAH. I mean, really, REALLY tough. They would have been tough without snow, and tough if I hadn't had the flu this week. So they were kicking my BUTT. But it was still a TON of fun, and I was really enjoying it! Everyone out there was so awesome.

I swear this guy just never stops smiling!

TriEric crosses the creek


I could tell I was pretty weak on the uphills. I just didn't have anything left. So Aimee and I decided after 8 miles, we had enough. The funny thing? It took us 2:13 to go EIGHT MILES.

2:13.

FOR EIGHT MILES.

I am usually running an entire half marathon in 1:50.

That's how tough it was.

A guy I talked to at the finish said it best when he described it "like running in an old bar of soap." You know...like when your soap starts disintegrating and just breaking apart? Yeah, it was kinda like that. I'd have to estimate 12-14 inches of snow on the trail, and some drifts were much deeper than that.

SUPER HUGE KUDOS to anyone who could finish the 50K--especially my girl DaisyDuc! I can't even IMAGINE doing 18 miles, let alone 31!

When all was said and done, I had an absolute blast and held up better than I even thought I could. The goal was to have a good solid day of training, and I did. I am FREAKING TIRED now and I had a BIG OL' cheeseburger tonight for dinner.

Because you know what?

Tonight, I was FINALLY hungry.

:)

Decisons, Decisions

I'm sitting here looking out the window at a gorgeous, sunny, blue-skied minus 12 degree day. And I'm not exaggerating. Nor being sarcastic. I really think it's beautiful outside. I wish I could go for a little walk. I swear I'm naturally warm-blooded or something.

Of course, I didn't have to go to work today. So maybe that's why I'm so happy.

Anyhoo, I took 2 days off work and now have another day off. So, inadvertantly, between sick days, snow days, and MLK's birthday, I'm having a week off. I feel much better now, but still not quite 100%. Losing almost 6 pounds in 24 hours will do that to you. I am slowly starting to gain my strength back, but haven't done anything since running 5.5 miles Monday and doing a short strength workout Tuesday.

And hurling my brains out Wednesday.

(Sorry, had to throw that in. At least I'm not Steve. If I was, you'd SEE the evidence. I'd make sure of that.)

Anyways, my little Bug just went down for a nap, and I'm getting ready to grade some stuff. But I'm really thinking hard about the BT Half Marathon Sunday. I'm trying to decide what is possible without crossing the line into stupid.

Pros:

1. All the cool kids will be there. Seriously...all my buddies that I heart who run. Like TriEric, his wife and my running partner Aimee, my buddy JT, Daisy Duc, Platinum Jen, Electric Mike, Ultra Courtney, and I'm sure I'm missing others. So it would be fun to see them all. However, this reminds me of when I was in high school and my Dad used to say, "If all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you do it too," to which my response was twofold:

A. How high up is said bridge?

and

B. How deep is the water?

(Kidding, Dad! You know I never followed the kids jumping off bridges. ;)

2. It will be good base training for IM New Orleans 70.3, which is the entire reason I signed up back in November.

3. I love running outside in the cold.

4. It is a beautiful course.

5. The atmosphere will be great--trail running is a lot more laid-back than road running, and it will be a fun time with friends. Just completing would be the goal, so it's low-pressure.

6. I've already paid for it.

7. I was shut out of it initially, gave up hope, and got in at the last minute. Many people did not get in and would LOVE to run it. It's a privilege.

The Cons:

1. It's going to be cold. Even for me. And I have little to no experience on this trail.

2. This will probably be the hardest course I've ever attempted. And I have little to no experience on this trail. (worth mentioning twice)

3. I lost SIX POUNDS IN TWENTY FOUR HOURS. I am slowly rehydrating and now I'm down just a pound or two, but I still feel a little tired going up the stairs too much. My fever was just over 100 on Wednesday. It broke Thursday, but today is the first day I'm really feeling like somewhat of myself. Will that ucky-ness be gone in another 36 hours? It's hard to tell.

4. That being said, I'd need to definitely walk all the uphills. ALL. And there are a LOT.

5. I will be out there for a LONG TIME. It took Aimee and JT 2 and a half hours to go EIGHT MILES last weekend. So the chance of 3+ hours is likely.

6. There is a chance I might DNF. I'm being honest and realistic. This course would be tough if I was in perfect health, and I'm not. I need to be ready for that, and to listen to my body. If, after the first 8 mile loop, the body says no, I need to STOP. And I'll probably need encouragement to stop. Because I'm not known for stopping. Except the last time I tried a trail 10K and was hurling because I was 6 weeks pregnant. The thought of Bug made me stop then, so I will need a log to the head or a push in the Erie Canal to make me stop this time.

7. I don't like to stop.

And I think that's it. An even number of pros and cons.

Sigh. That doesn't help.

I feel this will most likely be a game time decision, and by game time, I mean tomorrow evening. That being said, what say you, Oh Wise Internets? Do I do it? Or is this asking too much of myself? Do I do it with stipulations? Should I sack up? Or have another drink from the tequila bottle?

Keep in mind I welcome all advice, but may totally disregard everything you advise me of, either for or against running on Sunday. I'm just keepin' it real. ;)

Have at it. Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

No no no no NO TO THE TENTH POWER

What you don't know is that I was the last Ziemnik standing.

Everyone in my family has been sick with a nasty, nasty stomach virus. One you don't wish on your worst enemy.

So I've been washing my hands until they literally bleed, lysoling everything I could, and trying SO HARD to stay healthy, because I am really excited for the trail race this Sunday.

I went to bed, after setting up my bike in the basement so I'd be ready to hit it at 5:30am.

And then, I woke up at 1am. And I knew.

I was no longer the last Ziemnik standing.

I've managed to keep down half a can of ginger ale and 2 saltines. Knock on wood--I hope it stays that way. But now I'm already thinking...if I can't make it down the stairs without being dizzy, how on earth am I going to run a very challenging trail half marathon in 4 days when it's 21 degrees out? Ugh.

Matt told me not to think about it--that tomorrow I might feel 100% better.

I dunno. I just want to stop feeling like I want to curl up in a ball under a rock.

So now I'm sitting downstairs, watching 24, and staring at my bike that never got used this morning.

Sigh.

You Know It's Been A Good Two Weeks of Workouts When...

1. You do the laundry and your basket is full of towels (from swimming), hand towels (you have by you on the trainer), technical tees, running shorts, crazy printed cycling socks, and a few work clothes. Just a few.

2. Your abs are sore.

3. Your toenail that just grew in is starting to get discolored again. Poor little guy.

4. Your swimmer arms are coming back. You can even see a little teensy triceps line--yay!

5. There's a HEEEEYOOOOOGE stack of papers to grade, and you really, really, REALLY need a snow/cold day in the next few days. Perhaps Friday? Pretty please?

6. You're officially all out of NUUN and on your last mint-chocolate GU. Crisis mode!

7. You're exhausted, but confident, and feeling better than ever about this thing.

"We do not remember days, we remember moments."--Cesare Pavese

So I had a BIG decision to make today.

Snowstorm? Or dreadmill?

Where will I spend my 1:30 run today?

See, it started snowing yesterday. And just. kept. snowing. Until, like right about NOW.

Poor Matt's battling a bug (not The Bug, but a NASTY bug) and I've been pretty much tethered to ginger ale and my Bug. I couldn't make the trail run this morning, and I really, really needed to get some practice in for next week (since I feel like I'm going to get my arse handed to me on a silver platter) so I really, REALLY wanted to go outside.

But 12-18 inches of snow?

Could I do that?

Hmmmmm.

I looked outside. I looked at both sets of clothes. I looked outside again.

I put the shorts and tank top away.

As Matt and his old high school football buddies would say, "WETSU!" Which, loosely translated means, "We Eat This Stuff Up," although in their 17 year old football tough guy glory they substituted another word for "stuff."

I like snow. I am a runner. Therefore, I like running in snow. (Is that the associative property? I can never remember)

So I put on some tights, a hoody, got the iPod ready to go, the Garmin all cued up, and put Bug down for a nap. Matt was napping, too. So it was go time!

I decided that for a venture this crazy, I'd need my Ironman jacket. I rarely wear it anymore, because, I dunno...I feel kind of silly wearing it. It says FINISHER really big on the back. I just don't want to be "that guy," you know? I akin it to wearing the shirt of the band you're going to see, somehow. You don't want to be that guy. I know this is silly, but whatevs. I was putting on my reflective vest thingy over it, so that I'd be a screaming yellow-striped pink hooded freak to any cars I'd see as I'd most likely need to run in the sidestreets. No one would really see the huge FINISHER thing on me anyway, but it would be my little secret.

The snow was still coming down pretty hard, and I'd be lucky to find more than 2 or 3 consecutively shoveled sidewalks. I mean, I shoveled last night at 9:30 and then my awesome neighbors ran the snowblower this morning, and it looked like I hadn't even done a THING.

So I took off.

And I felt about five years old again. I wished I could have put Bug in the stroller but then I might have gotten child services called on me, but I just knew he'd love it. I was slipping and sliding a lot (note to self: YakTraks are a MUST for next week) and had my arms flailing around like I was Elaine from Seinfeld dancing. But I was having a blast. I ran by people shoveling, kids making snowmen, and even a mountain biker who gave me a knowing smile and hello. We were both a little nuts, he and I. And loving it.

The iPod cooperated, giving me a nice mix of songs that sent me all over space and time. I love how songs have a way of transporting you...like how when I hear Mr. Jones by Counting Crows, I'm instantly 16 again, or when Chumbawumba's Tubthumping comes on I'm a junior in college in Oxford, dancing on the coffeetable of our crappy house shared with 6 friends on 115 North Bishop Street. Sometimes I started to sing, because, really, who the hell was going to hear me today, anyway? And I even got to hear my favorite Beastie Boys lyric, "Because I got mad hits like I was Rod Carew."

(That's the kind of line I wish I thought of first.)

Then, another song came on that took me to the water in Lake Monona in September of 2006. Fatboy Slim's Right Here, Right Now. A song that played as I treaded water and literally was so afraid I peed my neoprene pants. And I was reminded. Of what was on my back.

Ironman is a funny thing. It never leaves you; it changes you. It's a part of you always, but it shouldn't define you. The story of my life is relatively boring and wouldn't sell many books at Barnes and Nobles or anything, but in my own head sometimes I enjoy remembering these tiny moments...these flashes of time where I was laughing, crying, or changing myself forever. What is fast approaching two and a half years ago, for one moment today as I was knee-deep in snow, was as vivid in my memory as the step I just took on the pavement.

And I'm so, so glad I took that run outside today. Because I had that perfect storm of a perfect storm, a perfect song, and a perfect memory.

And when I got home and was stretching downstairs, Matt was watching television and the video for Thriller came on. When the dance break came in, I looked at him, grinned, got up, and did the dance. From memory.

And then, I was seven again.

Lots of Hours, Relatively Speaking

Seventeen days off = AWESOME.

First three days back at work = FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN HIT BY A MACK TRUCK.

(Now, some of this is my fault. I could have done a lot more over break work-wise. I saved the massive stack of papers for the last 2 days, and didn't do much planning. Because Bug was sick, and I was sick, and our PJs were calling.)

But now, ladies and gentlemen? PAYING. FOR. IT.

Last week I had almost 10 hours of workouts? Do you know how proud I am of myself? Do you?

Of course, I wasn't working.

And Matt was home, too, so babysitting was a moot issue.

But still--ten! whole! hours! made me quite excited. And then I remembered that during Ironman training I was doing 18-20 hour weeks.

And then I remembered again why I have no desire to attempt another Ironman anytime soon.

But the 70.3s? Methinks I heart them. It is just far enough that I really have to work at it, but not too far that it takes over my life. Although, as I sit here, groggy eyed and dazed, with another stack of papers staring me in the face and I have to get up at 5 again to get my swim in and then another workout after school because I have a 7:10 Model UN Meeting Friday morning and an IEP meeting during my planning period I go WHEEEEEEEEEEEEW.

I'm tired.

So right now, this week's calling for 8:20, and I'm really hoping to get that in. Perhaps I should go to bed now. But I might need another snack...see, all this workin' out makes me quite hungry. Good thing I have Honey Nut Cheerios around to save the day.

Oh, and FANTABULOUS news! The Buckeye Trail Half Marathon that I got shut out of contacted me--I'm IN there like swimwear! Yahoooooooooyippee!! So next Sunday will be my first race of 2009--and my first trail race ever! It's super cold and icy up here, so I'd better go get some yaktraks or something if I have any hope of getting through it!

Okay, off to bed, and then the pool bright and early. Man, it's hard to hit the pool when it's 17 degrees and pitch black outside. I sure hope my cozy bed doesn't win...

Inventory

This past year, I...

• was amazed at how fast time went, despite how slowly it felt during 2am feedings. Tonight, when I rocked Bug to bed, he could barely fit on my lap.
• never realized how much a baby's laugh could fill me with joy.
• lost the 55 pounds I gained, and another 5. And a dress size.
• lost 20 minutes off my best marathon, and somewhere around 40 minutes or so off a 70.3.
• laughed at the irony of this, since I spent the better part of last year worrying I'd be huge and slow forever.
• found a few more gray hairs.
• enjoyed 4 months of maternity leave, and then went back to work.
• dealt with some anxiety related to the return, but know I made the right decision.
• watched Matt become an amazing father.
• took Bug to the pool, the Zoo, Lake Wawasee, Lake Erie, Mitchell's Ice Cream (a lot), the circus, a few Indians games, the Nature Center, on bike rides, and on my training runs for the marathon.
• became completely immune to puke, poop, snot, and drool.
• realized that Boston isn't just a self-depricating joke for me anymore. It's a possibility.
• felt a little (selfishly) better knowing that the rest of the nation was in a bit of a recession, too.
• got to join a wonderful group of people and share triathlon with some awesome girls
• appreciated my job even more for the opportunities it gives me to be with my family.
• experienced having 2 sets of grandparents within miles, and saw how wonderful that was.
• wished someone would have told me about the freaky post-nursing hair loss that apparently is quite common but TOTALLY FREAKED THE CRAP OUT OF ME. Note to self: now you know.
• realized that life is just a little sweeter with his snuggles and smiles.
• never want to forget what it was like to rock him to sleep every night, and feel his little heart that I helped make beat against my chest as he sighed himself to sleep.
• felt like the luckiest girl on the face of the earth.