A Very Exciting Week

So I ran yesterday, and it went well. Which bodes well for the race I'm doing Saturday...maybe I can actually get through the run in one piece! Yahooyippeeeeeeee!

I can't WAIT to race this weekend. This is the first summer I haven't had a 70.3 looming over me and I definitely needed it. I love to race but knew that cutting back was going to be a smart plan, and even though there are moments when I think hey-maybe-I-could-do-Rev3?-I know that YES, I could do it, but I do not HAVE to. And that has been a nice feeling. I am excited to just enjoy a few races this summer and then wait until I really want something longer (which, who am I kidding, will probably be Rev3 half next year).

And on a completely unrelated note, I got my AP scores online today. I have to admit I really wasn't sure what this bunch would do. We all felt confident about the DBQ, though, and I crossed my fingers and hoped we had all done the other work for the rest of the test.

I am a big geek for this, but here goes: the scores were so good that I cried. Literally teared up. The best they've been in the 4 years I've been doing this. Out of 39 kids that took the test, 24 got 4s or 5s.

Proudly wearing my geek badge,

TST

That was hard.

All of it. This week.

Was hard.

Really, really hard.

I don't know what to say without sounding like I'm whining. I hate whining. So I'm just going to say what I'm thinking in the hopes that it's not coming out like whining, but is coming out factual.

I got my butt handed to me this week.

Last weekend's long run (which was 6 days ago, actually) took a lot out of me. This week was rough at school, so even my rest days were not really rest days. I don't think I really got to recover enough, but such is life. The show must go on. I focused on good nutrition and attempted to get some sleep, despite having two sick little ones early in the week.

The routine was off, and I let it get to me.

I focused on negative energy that was hitting me this week, and I did not have my head in the right place. Not Tuesday, not Wednesday during my Yassos that left me in an exhausted heap on the floor after they were over, and certainly not today.

I had to do my 20 miler alone for a myriad of reasons. Mostly because it needed to be a) early b) near my house and c) Ana was gone.

It was supposed to look like this:

5 miles warmup

5 miles MRP

2 miles @9:00

6 miles @MRP

2 miles cooldown

It looked like this:

5 miles warmup cursing my Garmin for losing satellites and leaving me hanging

5 miles MRP where I needed to stop 2 times and lose my marbles

2 miles: one at 9, one at MUCH slower

1 mile trying to get to MRP and not coming close

7 miles very, very slowly and with many stops--2 to refill bottles (I drank 60 ounces in this run!) and one to sit on some guy's rock in his front yard and put my head in my hands

Total miles: 20

Average pace: 9:00/mile

Pathetic stops and self-doubt: much

I need to do a few things:

1. Eat a bigger breakfast. Clearly my one-packet of instant oatmeal is NOT cutting it at all.

2. Try to recover more. Sleep is a huge issue for me, and it was even more so with my kids being sick Sunday-Tuesday and with school dumping quite a load of stress on me this week. Simply put: I did not sleep much this week, and it killed me.

3. I need to surround myself with positive ideas and not negative.

Looking back at the plan, I did some solid cross-training on top of 37.1 miles ran with my overall average for those miles at 8:49. That is huge for me. I hate to say this was NOT a good week. That is a huge week for me and the fact that I'm able to do that is a huge improvement.

I think this solo run was good for me. It was good to be alone, to bonk alone, to feel how bad that sucked alone, so that I don't have to feel that again. I learned quite a bit about what I need to do here the next 3 weeks. And most of that work needs to be done in this big thing on top of my shoulders.

I am done with this week. I am ready for a week to recover mentally more than anything here--to actually, finally rest. I'm off school until May 2nd and I am hoping this will do wonders for my sleep and stress levels. Of course, when I get back the AP test is that Friday, but I feel like I needed to get those kids to the Election of 2000 before break and I did. It was crazy fast and stressful, but I did. The rest is up to them now. I told them they weren't going to go from a score of 1 to a score of 5 in the four days when we get back. There's no cramming for this test; either you have done the work all year like you were supposed to, or you didn't. End of story.

The same is true for me. I know I have done everything I possibly could. The hard work has been put in the bank. Now I need to really focus on fixing my mistakes from this week, believing in myself, and moving forward.

Burp Yasso

Last night I had a slight freak-out, which was prompted by an ice-cream sundae.

See, I have had a pretty nutso few weeks at work here with the AP test coming up the WEEK AFTER our Spring Break (awesome timing there. Yeah.) and frantically making a mad dash through the 1960s and 70s to hopefully get to the Election of 2000 and September 11, 2001. Considering we were just on WWII, you can imagine the pace we're flying at. It's seriously insane.

Then, a piece of one of my brown dress shoes broke off yesterday during class and I realized I do not have the time necessary right now to buy new ones. That will have to wait until I get at least an hour where I can go by myself to do a little shopping and also to replace the pilled-up, worn out clothes that have taken such a beating that I am still wearing. What Not To Wear would have a field day with me.

Then, last night after Matt returned a pair of Bug's too-big-soccer shoes to Dick's, he came home with my favorite Mitchell's sundae. It was very sweet. Except it was 9:30pm. And I was just about getting ready for bed. And I had one of the hardest workouts I'd ever attempted at 0500 the next morning.

But I felt bad. He knows I love ice cream. So I took a few bites. Just a few.

And then I started to lose my freakin' mind. I literally started hyperventilating and crying over a FEW BITES OF ICE CREAM. I couldn't believe I had eaten it. What, was I TRYING to make myself hurl the next morning? Really?! How could I have been so stupid?! The crying made me burp hot fudge burps, which in turn made me freak out even more.

Poor Matt just said he was sorry.

I knew this was my own fault and tried to relax. I think it was just the looming Yassos hanging over my head. I had to do them alone since Ana was stuck all week and the only time that would work for me would be to do them right after school or at 5am. I was hoping to convince Ana to meet me at the track at 5am, but she just couldn't. I checked with our track and lacrosse teams and sure enough, the track was all booked up until at least 8pm.

Ugh.

I didn't feel comfortable up at the track by myself at 5am since it's still dark until about 6:10 or so. So treadmill it was going to have to be. This also was messing with me because I felt like it wasn't "counting" if I didn't do these on a track. So I set the incline at 1% and vowed to really focus and make these count.

The plan was for "7 or 8." Well, when there's a higher number there then I feel like to take the smaller number is sorta selling out. So I went for the 8.

And lo and behold, a few bites of ice cream didn't completely do me in. All that wasted energy worrying, as usual, got me no where. In fact, I felt the strongest on these 8 at a 7:19 pace than I ever have. Ever. Even though these had a significant amount of recovery in between them, I still did 4 miles out of 8.75 at a 7:19 pace, which is good for the soul. And, worth mentioning, way faster than my current 5K PR pace.

(Perhaps this summer it's time to get a new 5K PR?)

I'm feeling better about the run this weekend. If I can get through this workout today and feel as good as I did, then I know I can get through this 18 with 9 at race pace. It's going to be tough, of course, but I feel like my body is kind of saying, "See? I told you so."

I just need to listen to it a bit more.

And perhaps to lay off the ice cream.

I am extremely snotty

I am fully aware that I am one snotty girl.

I mean, I have waxed poetic before about how entirely snotty I am.

It's really a problem. If you are around me long enough, you might be hit by my snottiness. Literally.

So today I could tell on my run that spring had officially arrived and I once again turn into a very snotty chick. It's very attractive. I'm getting pretty good at the ol' farmer's blow. Just watch out if you're behind me.

You know what? I just wasn't that into my run today. It was great to be out there in SHORTS! SHORTS! today, and Ana and I had some good conversation as usual, but we decided we were just kind of over it. Good thing it was a nice and easy long run before I throw in some more race pace stuff.

Speaking of which, I just saw next Sunday's run already. Gulp.

5 miles comfortable pace, 9 miles goal marathon pace, 4 miles comfortable pace.

I do believe she is trying to kill me.

So I have a full 7 days to wrap my head around that and get psyched up for it. Not psyched out. Which, I'm not gonna lie, is how I felt about five minutes ago when I looked at it.

If this was easy, everyone would be doing it. I signed up for this. Time to go hard or go home. These next two weeks are pretty damn important.

And another good history-related quote comes to mind:

"The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark."
— Michelangelo Buonarroti

I need to remember that I had the option to take the safe route, and I have made the conscious decision to ignore that.

Lookin' Up!

Well, things are better than we thought.

Turns out most of the things that are NOT covered by insurance were able to be saved! TV is OK (whew). All our furniture we got after this happened the last time was able to be cleaned.

And my treadmill....TOTALLY!TURNED!ON!YAAAAAAAAY

It's still a disaster down there as is my house--it basically looks like Fisher-Price threw up everywhere--but it's gonna be okay. A little while until things get back to normal, but okay.

This week's workouts, however, were NOT okay. I kind of dropped the ball. Still managed three runs and one ride, but still not what I needed to do. Ugh.

So I was going to run with Ana this morning--a pretty specific run including 35 minutes at marathon pace. And then I got up to SNOW. AGAIN. Covering a lovely layer of black ice.

&**^^*(), @@@*&^)%!

We debated what to do. The black ice is what really stinks, as we just didn't want to risk turning an ankle. So we decided to run on the treadmill and indoor track at her gym. She said it opened at 7, so she picked me up at 6:55 and off we went. As long as we were back at her house by 9:20, we'd be good.

Except it was closed. She read the schedule wrong--7 on SATURDAY. Bummer.

We zoomed home and figured we'd give it a go. I couldn't BEAR the thought of another 2 hour session on the dreadmill. So we set out and it wasn't too bad! I wore my trail shoes to give me a little more traction and protection from the slush. We had to slow it down a bit and didn't attempt the pushes. But we still got 11.25 in before she had to run home, and held it right around a 9:10 pace. Alright, given the conditions.

Then I hopped on the treadmill and grabbed some trusty tunes to do the remaining 17 minutes I had left at 8:20 pace. It was tough and I was definitely tired, but I got it in.

When all was said and done, I managed 13.3 at just about a 9 minute pace. Not the workout I was hoping for, but one that is good money in the bank nonetheless.

Went to the zoo, looked at lots of monkeys and snakes, and now I am going to have some bonding with my couch and Toy Story 3.

Hope you stay warm if you're around here, and if you're not and it's warm out, can you please send some my way? I'm beginning to think this Groundhog was pulling my chain.

Treadmill fun, OR, why I'm a 5K Underachiever, OR, am I crazy?

So I had a long run this weekend. And it didn't go very well. Which is the first time in a long time I've had a bad run, so I guess this is to be expected from time to time, no? I can already tell you some factors leading up to this:

1. I was stressed to the max with interims due and getting ready for Bean's birthday party
2. This means NOT sleeping well (again--shocker, right?)
3. I had some good, but very challenging runs last week, including quite a bit of mileage under 8 minute pace (which for me is fast)
4. I only had time for 100 calories of food before my run

All of that + super crazy wind + 20 minutes at marathon pace = BONK BONK BONK CITY the last 2 miles or so.

Despite that, managed to finish almost 12 miles with an average pace of 9:01. I'm trying to remember that this is still quite an accomplishment for me. The wheels came off of my legs, but my average HR on these runs is starting to drop a bit. That's a good thing. And if it wasn't for my dumb mistakes and lack of sleep, I think I would have nailed it.

I do, however, kinda miss feeling like a triathlete. I haven't been able to swim since January. Sad face. Matt played soccer last night in an open league against some kids that are in high school and play every day, and lamented upon how much better they are than him since he plays maybe once a week. (Despite this, the dude has serious game. I've seen him play--don't let him fool you.) But he was bummed because he knows what he COULD be if he could play 5 days a week.

Boy do I know that feeling. I remember what it was like to swim 5 days a week, and what I used to be able to do. But I know that I should still be glad I can swim 2 times a week or so during tri season and manage to pull off what I do in races. I know, I know. It's just...what if, right?

So I miss feeling like a triathlete. I killed my trainer workout yesterday and it made me really want to ride outside. I know at heart I am definitely a triathlete, but right now I am still enjoying this marathon training and the focus it's giving me in my limited time to train. The fact of the matter is, you can't do everything. And right now I can't get to the pool. And that's okay. It'll be there for me when I'm ready and able to jump back in again. I'm coming to terms with this. The swimmer in me is frustrated, but trying to accept this reality.

Today's treadmill fun from Coach Emily included some ARE YOU KIDDING ME moments, but I am happy to say I nailed it, too. And felt FABULOUS. This was a good mental boost after Saturday's bonk.

Here's the lowdown: those of you covered under a sheet of ice, give it a try! Just adjust the paces to fit your goals!

20 minute Warm Up to Zone 2 (I hold this around 9:13 or so)
6 X (:45 at 9 mph, 1 minute easy)
5 minutes easy
20 minutes as (5 minutes marathon pace, 5 minutes half marathon pace--2 X)
Cooldown -- 5 minutes or so

Total run: 1 hour
(I went 1:00.24 to make it an even 7 miles, because I'm anal like that.)

So first of all: 9mph is 6:40/mile! Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAA? I didn't realize that until I was actually doing it and almost falling off the tready. Because I'm no ESpeed, kids. That ain't my easy pace! I thought my treadmill was going to laugh at me. But I held on for dear life. I made the 1 minutes easy VERY easy so I could recover. Like 10:00/mile easy. Whew.

Then I did 5 minutes back at Zone 2. No big whoop.

Now the interesting part. I had to ask Coach E what a realistic half marathon pace was for me. I mean, obviously I know my full pace goal is 8:24. But what can I do for a half? I dunno. I want to go low 1:40s but wasn't sure if that was realistic. She assured me that both a "1:42 at 7:47 and 1:44 at 7:56 are totally doable." Well, if they are both doable, then I want the faster one. So that's what I held for those two 5-minute pushes.

Then I got to thinking a little--and this is what makes me go GULP--that I am pretty sure I've never held anything better than 7:42 or so for a 5K. But I never race 5Ks. I hate 5Ks, actually. Does this mean I'm just a 5K underachiever and my 5K PR should be much better than it is?

I sure hope so.

Because I'm going to go for that 1:42 or blow up spectacularly trying. It feels hard, but good. Of course, we'll see how that goes after an hour or so, right?

Regardless, it was another solid run this morning and some good money in the bank.

And now, off to my regularly scheduled life and responsibilities. :)

Oh it's SO ON.

Some great stuff happened recently:

1. Not one, but TWO snow days in a row! I can't even explain how much I needed that.

2. I think I might have Ana convinced to do the full marathon and not the half = yay for long run company!

AND

3. We just smoked our 11 mile run outside despite the sheet of ice literally coating everything. It was one of those runs that boosts up the morale a bit. I was a bit overwhelmed this week and once again questioning my sanity of timing up a full marathon 2 weeks after the AP Test, which consumes me at work until the first Friday in May. But I'm running really well lately, and I'm gonna keep on keepin' on.

Bring on the miles.

And hopefully, the over-32-degrees-weather. Yeah. That would be nice, too.

Treadmill Fun

So, yeah. Snowstorm. For, like, 100 million of us or so. Now, I for one enjoy a good snowstorm in my line of work. It gives me an excuse to sit in my PJ's all day--except, of course, for the time I spend on the treadmill.

I used to think treadmills were EVIL! and the work of the devil. I've come to accept and even feel a twinge of--dare I say it?--love for my 'mill. It allows me to run during naptime, before school when it's too dark to go it alone, and, of course, during historic ice/snowstorms.

I thought I'd share a couple of my favorite treadmill workouts that superawesome Coach Emily has prescribed me. These are just hard enough that you read them and think, "Hmmm. That's not too bad." And then you start them and think, "Holy crap, is my heart going to BEAT OUT OF MY CHEST?"

(Or maybe that's just me)

Anyway, for those of you stuck inside due to extreme ice, here's a few workouts to try!

You can adjust your paces accordingly. My Zone 2 is around 9-9:15 minutes/mile. That's the pace I feel like I could go forever at, so start with that pace and then work up or down from there.

Workout 1:

20 minutes building to Zone 2

5 minutes at 7.2 mph

5 minutes at 7.5 mph

4 minutes at 7.8 mph

3 minutes at 6.5 mph

3 minutes at 7.8 mph or higher (I made it to 8.5! Yippeeekayyay!)

20 minutes to cool down

Workout 2:

20 minutes building to Zone 2 to warm up

3X (6 minutes at 7.6-8.0mph with 3 minutes easy in between)

20-25 minutes at Zone 2 to cool down

I know, right? They don't look that hard. But when I'm doing the workouts, I really have to focus. The tready is helping me win the head game a bit, and as soon as this ice thaws out I'll jump at the chance to try a nice hard tempo on the road!

Happy training--and stay warm!

The New Normal

So I did a heart rate test the other week. I haven't done one of those in quite a while. I'm not a big fan of heart rate training since I have a crazy jack-rabbit-hummingbird-on-crack heart rate to the extreme. My resting heart rate is usually in the 40s, but I've seen my high up around 194 at the end of races. And then there was that time I averaged--yes, AVERAGED--181 during the Cleveland Half Marathon (and felt fabulous, by the way!).

I guess I've resented heart rate training because I feel like it always prescribes me to go slow. SLOOOOOOOOOOOO----OOOOOOOOO--OOOOOW. Like, 27 minute mile slow.

Therefore, I give up, lose my heart rate strap (literally) and go by feel.

But, I'm trying to be good here and be a good little triathlete. And runner. So, heart rate it is. I am determined NOT to let it run me, but use it as another tool in the arsenal. I'm still a rate of perceived exertion girl at heart, I swear.

Good thing Coach Em gets me so well. She nudged me to get on the horse and freaking replace my heart rate strap, which I never would have done. (But I lost it! A convenient reason NEVER to use heart rate training again--yay me!) Amazon delivered, and I did the test on my 'mill.

As usual, my heart rate seems to have about 2 levels: rest and crazytown. My max was, yet again, over the "220-minus-age" standard, but that's nothing new. I feared Coach Em would prescribe me workouts crawling at about a sloth's pace. Sigh.

But HEY! That's not what I saw this week!

I was to run at about a 7-7.3 mph rate for 45-60 minutes this week. And at first I was all, huh? Isn't that too fast? Aren't I supposed to crawl for 45 minutes? But she said that's what the numbers showed, so that's what I was to do.

That is significantly faster than I usually plod along on my dreadmill.

I was a little nervous to try it out.

But you know what? I did it. And it was FINE. I was FINE. It was even (gulp) a little bit fun. I had one of those runs that just felt effortless and like I could keep on truckin'.

One of those runs that is money in the mental bank, for sure (not to mention the physical one).

I'm gonna blame it a bit on the post-pregnancy blood-doping, but I have to admit--I'm a bit shocked. Somehow I've turned into a chick that clips out 8:30s for a 6 mile training run without any problem. I didn't really think that was possible. I sort of thought I was a 9+ for-lifer.

Maybe that strap ain't the devil after all.

Year in Review and 2011: Back to the ROOTS.

Looking back, I had a tremendous year filled with more joy than I could have imagined. During this past year, I watched my mother-in-law smack stage 4 cancer upside the head, brought Emery into the world, and watched Jackson become a big brother. It really doesn't get any better than that.

In racing news, I got to cheer on runners at the Cleveland Marathon at Mile 10 with my homey, TriEric. We dressed up like Bert and Ernie, danced like fools, and caused lots of shenanigans. It was pretty much awesome. I knew I wasn't ready to race the half, and figured I'd give back to the runners and help make the race memorable. Little did I know I'd laugh so hard my cheeks would hurt by the time I was done! And by cheeks, I mean both sets--front and back. Booty shakin' and fist pumping in an Ernie suit ain't easy, folks.

IMMEDIATELY go to Eric's blog and read his year report--you will find a video of us dancing like fools. When else will you be able to see Bert do the robot and Ernie do a sweet Michael Jackson dance?

I headed out to WIBA with all my teammies and other assorted awesome tri-peeps and rode the hills of Wisconsin yet again. And each time I do, it always leaves me with one thought: how the FREAK SHOW did I ever do this Ironman? And it always serves as another little reminder that our will is much stronger than we think. And so are our bodies.

Which reminds me of quite possibly my proudest accomplishment in my about-to-be-ten year triathlon "career." The day I went ahead and did something even I thought was nuts (and that's saying a lot). Even I thought I was in way over my head (again, considering the source, that's quite impressive). And that was to race a half-ironman distance triathlon 6 months after giving birth to Emery. The craziest thing is that I raced it pretty well. I knocked off 16 minutes from my previous best time and, best of all, got to share it with my team again and my amazingly supportive family.

So, this season is my 10th. And I swore I would not do a half-ironman distance race this year, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that now I kinda wonder what I could do, since I'm about 15 pounds down from Rev3 and feel like 5:44 isn't even close to what I'm truly capable of. Who saw that coming? Show of hands?

But NO. I said NO long course this year, and I am sticking to that. In honor of my 10th season of triathlons, I'm going to go back to my roots. That being the oddest combination ever: marathons and sprints/olympic distance triathlons. I know. Since when is marathon training considered a break in your workout load? But the fact of the matter is that for me, marathon training is definitely harder on your body, but not as many net hours as long course triathlon training.

And that, my friends, is how Ironman warps your mind.

My first triathlon back in '01 was what started everything. I did that sprint, on a borrowed bike and completely clueless, and then immediately signed up for the Cleveland Marathon. (?!) Not because I was a strong runner, but because that's what triathlon does to you. It starts to make you think you can do just about anything.

So this year, here's how it will all play out according to my master plan. I'm aiming high here. VERY high. Go hard or go home is the theme of 2011. It's time to get back to my roots.

St. Malachi 5 Miler: No date yet, but it's mid-March. Goal here is to go hard and hurt at the end. If I finish and almost hurl, it's been a good race.

Spring Classic Half Marathon: No date on this yet, but it'll be mid-April. My goal is to go as close to 1:40 as I can. That will also hurt. Bring it.

Hermes Cleveland Ten Miler: No date on this, but it'll be a week or two after the Spring Classic. This I'll probably use as pacing practice for the marathon.

Cleveland Marathon: May 15, 2011. Boston or Bust. That is a 3:40 for me.

Lifetime Fitness Triathlon: July 9, Minneapolis, Minnesota. Two goals for this one: have a blast with my teammates, and hammer this as hard as I can. I don't believe I've gone under 2:40 for an olympic distance, so definitely under that. My pie-in-the-sky goal is 2:30.

I also earned two FREE races through a great local race company, NCN. One was because I got injured and couldn't race last year, and the other was because I volunteered which earns me a free race entry! So I'll be cashing those in: possibly at the Huntington Sprint triathlon and the Lorain Olympic.

I also plan on working with my EvoKids again this summer and am working on some ways to make my program even better.

Dances With Dirt: September 24, Hell, Michigan. Words cannot express how FREAKING EXCITED I AM to do this race with some super awesome ladies! I am so pumped that a spot on their team opened up and I can join in this crazy fun relay trail race!

(I'm leaving the possibility open for a fall marathon, but I don't want to need it.)

I'm not sure much can top this past year. But I'm going to try. As you can see, I have big, crazy dreams for 2011. Here's to making my 10th year in this sport the best yet.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Why I Am Doing Exercises

Right after I did Ironman Wisconsin, I remember sitting down with my coach, Angela, and discussing what was next. I sort of knew that if all went well, I wouldn't be racing the following season. But I was afraid of what all the naysayers were predicting: that once you have a kid, all bets are off. Goodbye races/social life/insert-something-you really-enjoy-here. And Angela tried to reassure me a bit. She told me that it was actually easier to race when they are very little. Because they don't really understand the concept of time as much, and they nap, and you can sneak away or hit the trainer a lot easier than when they are older. She should know, too. She's done I don't even know how many Ironman-distance triathlons, an 100 miler, and countless other endurance events. Angela told me, "Once they get older, then they ask you things like, 'Mommy, why are you running?' And it makes you think. Because you have to give them an answer."

I'm starting to really appreciate this now, and realize how right that was.

One thing I'm pretty proud of is how Matt and I have integrated fitness into our insanely packed crazybusy lives, no matter what. I really think that it is a positive thing for our family, although some may think we are certifiably insane. And I know it's starting to rub off on Jackson, too.

The only time workouts seem to happen is when Matt and I get up at 5am. Even on the weekends. I used to think the weekends were more relaxing than the workweek, and now I'm seriously thinking of moving my rest day to Saturday. SATURDAY. What endurance athlete does that?! Because as soon as these kids get up, we are literally nonstop until 8pm. Jackson's pretty much done with his nap, so the best I can get as far as a quiet house is concerned is one three-year-old somewhat in one room for an episode of Phineas and Ferb...which isn't very conducive to intervals on the trainer. Plus, I don't wanna. I want to play in the snow or make play-doh monsters. I work all week, and Saturday is my day to catch up on life for a bit.

So, needless to say, I'm still sorting out how to do this. It's a work in progress.

This morning, I tried to beat the kids up and hit the 'mill for about 8 miles. Then I was going to lift upper body and stuff. At about mile 5.2 or so, Bug ran down the steps.

"Mommy, look at my train!"

He proudly displayed a remote-controlled train that had been missing the batteries for at least 4 months.

"Wow, Bug!" I said, without breaking stride. Shoot, is what I was thinking. I'm outta time. Damn.

I hoped I could at least make it to 7 or so. While I was thinking all of this in my head, Bug asked, "Mama? Why are you doing exercises?"

I thought about it a bit. This day had come. The day I need to explain to a three-year-old why I am doing exercises.

I finally settled on, "So I can get better."

"Better?"

"Yeah, so Mama can get better, Bug."

"Okay!" He scurried upstairs to have his oatmeal.

I managed to get the rest of that 7 miles in--a little shorter than I wanted to go, but whatever. You gotta take what you can get, I'm realizing, in this phase. And by "this phase," I mean the phase where I'm the one now stepping on little toy cars. I'm the one chasing a little boy up to the tub to take his bath with his baby sister. And I'm the one who never cries in movies, yet turned to waterworks yesterday in the last 10 minutes of Toy Story 3 because my little boy was snuggling on my lap. (If you've seen it--and especially if you have a little boy--you might sympathize with me on that one.)

I'm still not entirely sure how it's me doing these things. Somehow, I'm here already.

So I do exercises because I want to be better. Better health, so I can be with him as long as I can. Better mommy. Better wife. Better teacher, better friend, and hopefully even a better runner. Me doing exercises is a lot better than the me who does not do exercises.

So that answer for my three-year-old is actually one I would give myself.

A Soulmate Story

I first met my first running soulmate, Canada Jenn, when I was 24. I remember nervously checking the Second Sole website all week...seeing if, in fact, they were having a new member run at the store that Saturday in December. The shy part of me sort of wanted it to be canceled. I was never very good at being the new kid, especially in a sport that I felt I had absolutely no clue what I was doing. True, I had recently completed a marathon. But, it was the most clueless, one-f00t-in-front-of-the-other marathon that anyone had ever done...and I had trained for it completely alone. I grew up playing team sports: swimming and softball. I missed that. I missed living in a house with 7 of my best girl friends and having the rest of my friends all within a 5 square-mile area. I missed the late night talks and the endless closets that come from going to college and making new friends...the things you take for granted until they are over and you finally realize that will never happen again.

I had been back for a year, and despite the fact that this was my hometown...I felt lonely.

I almost didn't go that morning. But I decided to go. If I embarrassed myself, at least I could just go back home, right? It was cold and snowy. That would be a good excuse.

I walked in like it was 6th grade and I was walking into the cafeteria. I was very, very much afraid that it would be all waif-like, Olympic-Trials-Running Marathoners. And I would look completely out of place.

I saw another girl with a funky hat on who looked about my age sitting there with a big smile. So I nervously walked over to approach her. Maybe she'd want to run with me? Maybe she wouldn't think I was crazy for calling myself a runner--ME, of all people?

We started talking, and we realized we were very similar. Similar age, similar pace, similar sense of humor. And she lived right down the road from my apartment. And she loved coffee. And beer. And having fun.

And it was the fastest five miles I think I've ever ran: not pace-wise, but step wise. We talked and laughed the whole way.

I found my first running soulmate.

________________________________________

Running-wise, it's been a lonely three years. Once you get used to having the absolute best: the perfect combination of a running partner/best friend/happy-hour-buddy/neighbor-down-the-road/racing inspiration who is at your exact stage of life and your exact pace and goals and running philosophy, it's hard to imagine ever finding that again.

She had to leave, and I knew that day would come. I hoped they'd pick Cleveland--I kept talking up the great hospital system here (hey, Kings and Queens fly here just for the hospitals! pleasepleasestay) but their journey took them to Peoria for a year and finally to Sacramento, California. About as far west as one can get from Cleveland, unless you head to Hawaii. I knew it would come, since her family was all out west or still in Edmonton. But it really made me sad. Especially given that our lives were still staying relatively parallel--she was pregnant as I was about to have Bug, and she had her second little girl about 2 years later, just like me.

We were still running soulmates. Just a few thousand miles apart.

I searched and searched for the combination of best friend/running partner/same pace/running inspiration who now needed to literally live in my backyard. Because running was no longer something I could regularly schedule. Running came when I could steal a few moments away, or in the wee hours of the morning while the rest of the world slept. It still meant the same, and I wasn't ready to lose that. But I felt I had lost my running soulmate. I have lots of good friends, and running partners the same pace as me, and complete running inspirations...but none that were able to live in my backyard. I just couldn't justify taking more time away to travel to run, when I could lace up and run from my front door and be home and instantly able to help and hug and change and feed.

Three hours earlier and thousands of miles away, she was doing the same thing.

I sort of gave up. I gave up the idea that I'd ever be able to have that again--that perfect storm that makes the perfect running partner. And I settled into a routine of lonely-but-satisfying runs, with the occasional, once-a-month run with friends which required quite a bit of planning ahead. And it was good--it was more than good, actually. It allowed me to have a solid run at Columbus....to complete three half-ironman triathlons. To stay in touch with and be inspired by the amazing athletes who live in Northeastern Ohio.

But it wasn't the same. I didn't think it ever would be, and I had made peace with that.

__________________________________

"You know," said my mail carrier, "I keep getting this house and the one behind you on (the next street) with the same number mixed up."

"What?" I was in a complete lack-of-sleep-first-baby-haze.

"Congratulations, I mean. I can tell you have a new baby, and so does the girl who lives on the street behind you," he grinned. "I'm just apologizing for mixing up the mail for your houses. You know, with two babies and the same address and all."

"Oh," I smiled with exhaustion. "No worries--they have a baby, too?"

"Yep...must'a been about the same time as you!"

I wondered who that was, living in the same number a street behind me. I wondered if she was as tired as I was.

_____________________________________________

Time passed and I met a girl at the pool with two little girls--one was about my Bug's age. And we started talking and realized that we had a common friend; my amazing tri-buddy-and former swim coach, Laura. Ana taughed with Laura before she had her daughters--in the same district I taught at. And sooner or later, we realized we lived exactly one street apart.

And she was an athlete, too.

"Hey, we should run sometime with Laura!" I suggested. We both agreed, but then had to go chase a little one somewhere in the pool and it never really came to fruition.

Maybe someday, I thought.

_____________________________________

A few more pool years went by, and Ana was about to have her third baby this past summer. Now that I have two, I understand what that means...and I have nothing but respect for people with three babies. HUGE respect. No more man-to-man defense...you gotta go zone. She told me she couldn't wait to get back into running after the baby arrived. That she was going to train for the Cleveland half marathon in the spring. Once again, I threw out the vague, "Hey, we should run together sometime!" out there. I dropped off a meal when her baby arrived. Then the pool closed for the season, and I just sort of thought that would be the last time I'd see her until next June.

______________________________________

On the way home from West Virginia on October 10th, the stars aligned and the time zones and naps cooperated, and I talked to my good friend and running soulmate Canada Jenn on the phone for almost an hour. As it always is with her, it was like no time had passed at all. We talked about jobs and juggling and balance and running and life and potty training and our babies. I hung up, and missed my friend dearly.

_______________________________________

Last week, I headed to work one morning and saw a girl running down my street. "Man, she looks like she means business," I thought. As I drove by, I peered in the mirror to see who it was.

It was Ana. Kicking butt and flying down my street.

I got to thinking.
_______________________________________

We arranged to run Sunday morning--she said she was up for anything, and was game for my suggested route of 6-8 miles. It was a warm morning, and I literally could have ran through my backyard to get to her house, but I figured I'd better just use the sidewalk and not trespass. So I did. She met me with a smile and an understanding of what 6-8 miles on a Sunday morning takes, as far as planning ahead is concerned. And we took off.

And I realized pretty quickly that we were the same pace--if anything, she was a little faster and was pushing me. But not too fast--we still had plenty of time to talk and laugh and vent and share all kinds of stories. We felt good and decided to go to my 8 mile turnaround--me with my OCD Garmin telling us our pace and distance, and she who just ran for fun and fitness and didn't even like to use a watch. But I could tell she was quite competitive, too--a former three-sport athlete kind of is, even if they don't wear a watch. And it was perfect.

The last half a mile she smiled and said, "Wanna pick it up?" so we did. FAST. She ran ahead of me, and I clung on for dear life. And it reminded me of all the 5Ks I did with my friend, Canada Jenn--she was almost always a few steps ahead of me, encouraging me to run with her, and pushing me to be faster and better. I hung on as we did around a 7-minute mile for that last half mile, and finally we got to my house.

We were done.

And it was the fastest 8 miles I've ran in a while. And it felt just like I had been out to dinner with an old friend, catching up about life.

We walked back to her house as a cooldown, and I could see my house through the now-nearly-bare trees one street away. We both agreed to definitely do this again.

Nothing will ever take the place of my first running soulmate. She remains a dear friend, a huge influence upon my running, and an inspiration to me as a mother.

But I think I might have just had my first run with my next running soulmate.

Best Birthday Present EVER.

So, my goal today was to come in under 28 minutes.

And I ran a 24:56!

I am sooooooooooooooooooooexcited. This proves, yet again, that my mind is my biggest limiter.

It was hot hot hot so I faded a bit, but my first 1.5 miles were UNDER an 8 minute pace!

:)

I guess I should eat some crow now over my last post. I really didn't think I had that in me yet. But apparently I do, and I did, and, well....I am so happy that I feel like I just freaking WON the race. Remind me of this next May when I'm lining up in Cleveland. My mind is the only thing consistently holding me back.

If I can bust this out, 16 pounds over my starting weight and 23 pounds over the weight I plan to be next May...well, that is pretty damn awesome. (If I do say so myself.)

Tomorrow I turn 33--hard to believe it--and I have to say that this was the best birthday present I could have gotten!

More later--right now I need to go play in the sprinkler with Bug.

Happy 4th of July!

The Number of the Day is 6! And 8!

Yes, in honor of the show I seem to watch all too often, Sesame Street...we have TWO NUMBERS OF THE DAY.

As in, I just ran SIX miles and one of them was in the EIGHTS! Yahoooooooooooooooo

Thanks to Bean for sleeping through the night the past two nights! My what a difference some sleep makes.

And really, all I was thinking towards the end of the run was, "The extreme chafing I'm going to have from having to still wear two sports bras and forgetting my body glide is SO worth it."

And it was, my friends. It most definitely was.

Teensy Little Run

So I snuck in a teensy weensy little run today.

Don't worry. It was ridiculously slow. And on a treadmill. And a total of six minutes. I mostly wanted to be sure I remembered how.

But it was a GLORIOUS six minutes. Six minutes that made me feel like myself again. Despite the chub I've still got. Running slow is still running, and still awesome.

The really, REALLY weird thing was the absolute VOODOO that my iPod cast upon me. Because I kid you not--during those two little 3-minute segments that I ran (surrounded by walking), do you know what songs came on? And I have, like, 8,000 songs in this thing.

Runnin' Down a Dream (Tom Petty) and Boston (Augustana).

For realz.

I can't make this stuff up, folks.

In other news, I got a whole SIX! HOURS! of uninterrupted sleep last night, because Bean took a bottle for Matt (although it took some arguing and a bit of time) and I feel like a person again. Yay!

Baby steps...baby steps.

Yippeeeyippeeeyahooooooooooooooooo

Reasons why today rocked:

1. I finished grading all my DBQs. In case you're wondering, the grand total was just shy of 8 hours. EIGHT. HOURS. Sheesh.

2. I won 3 nice Gap Maternity Sweaters and 2 cute tops for work on eBay in 2 separate bidding wars. Because I'm awesome like that. Got a super good deal on all of them. Sweet!

3. The little bean let me have the BEST! RUN! EVER! this afternoon. Well, best run while pregnant, we should say. Whereas I had to take lots of walk breaks yesterday, today I was just smokin' along at my blazing 12-13 minute pace! Yahooooooooooo! (Okay, it felt fast. Work with me.) I ran to the library, peed, took 3 sips of water in the drinking fountain, and ran home. It was FABULOUS!

4. Bug and I played a game of hide and seek today and he was laughing hysterically every time I jumped out and yelled "BOO!" It pretty much rocked. It was 70 degrees again here so we took full advantage.

4. Just got home from prenatal yoga and now I'm all relaxed and chill. Time for a shower and bed, after my required reading of What to Expect when You're Expected. I seriously laugh out loud when I'm reading it. Written by a writer on the Daily Show and Colbert Report. You're in for a treat, I promise.

I wish every day could be as rockin' as this Monday was!

iloveyoufall.

Fall is here, and it's my favorite season BY FAR!

I love the nice cool nights, am SO done with hot weather (and hot for me is 80 degrees...I know...I would never last a day in the south, fo' sho'). Football games and bonfires and pumpkin stuff. Although this year I must admit I'm missing the beer. Especially a nice pumpkin ale. During a football game.

Sigh.

But, it'll all be worth it, and I'm halfway to baby this week (holy crap, how did THAT happen?!), so YOWZA.

The nice thing about not training my butt off this fall is that I actually have time to do stuff I don't usually get to do. Like, sleep. Or, get work done at work. And even some fun stuff, like taking Bug to Miller's Apple Hill to go apple picking with some of his buddies!




We had a blast. And then tonight, because I had time and don't have to worry about a 3 hour ride tomorrow or a 2 hour run at 6am, I took said apples and made some really tasty apple crisp out of them.

With ice cream. Because the baby needs calcium, people.

Anyways, another great thing about fall is riding and running. Which, I must say, I miss even more than a nice cold beer during a football game. I get jealous every time I see a cyclist out on a crisp, sunny day. I know, I know...I'll have time next year. But fall is my favorite season to ride, and I sort of feel like I'm missing out on that.

I'm thinking about next year, too. Now, here's the deal: I have never had 2 kids before. So I don't know how it's going to be, or how it's going to work. I know professionally I'm in a much better spot now with 3 years of AP US History under my belt and taking the RIGHT half of the year off, so I feel really good about that. When I go back to school next year, I don't think it will be quite as hard as it was the first time around, nor will I have as many battles. So, the next thing I'm thinking about is training.

Because that's how I operate. I'm a triathlete. Planning is what we do best, right?

So FOR SURE I'm in for the Rev3 Cedar Point half, and I am SO STOKED for this. It's going to be a blast to show off the NEO to all my teammates. And, I firmly believe September is the most gorgeous month here, too, so it will all around rock. I will also have March, April, and May to recover and just get a base back, and then June, July, and August to ramp up the training--which is perfect because I'll be off school and can (try to!) time up workouts with naps and stuff.

However, I need to recognize that this little bean might not be as easy as The Bug. And that's not anyone's fault...it might just be the way it is. So, here's me OFFICIALLY giving myself permission to LET THINGS SLIDE and deal with that.

Remind me of that, K?

The next thing I'm thinking about (because that's how I roll) is a nice fall running race. I love me the fall marathons. I do best running in the fall. So, ideally, I'd like to do a fall full, and most likely Columbus again. I know the course, I have tons of buddies in Cbus, and it is a course that was really good to me last time around. REALLY good.

And of course, if I'm going to run the full, then I might as well try to BQ.

Right?

But part of me thinks that's a lot to bank on for now. Again, I've never had 2 kids before AND worked full time while marathon training. So, here we go again: this is officially me GIVING MYSELF PERMISSION to do a half in the fall if it's too crazy. Marathons come and go. There's plenty in the spring I could do. And sanity is really quite important.

So, in my perfect world, here's what I'd do next year:

February 17th: have a happy, healthy little bean
April-ish: start working out and dropping the pounds/building the base
July: be in full training mode for Rev3
September: kick butt at Rev3 and PR
October: Run a 3:40:59 or better in Columbus

That's the perfect scenario. And dreaming about that makes me happy, as my butt gets bigger and this baby is bound and determined to give me MORE ZITS THAN AN 8TH GRADE BOY.

But logical me is saying it one more time here (which makes three, if you're counting): I need to be FLEXIBLE and ROLL WITH WHAT LIFE GIVES ME. It's not just about me. I need to make my goals work with my life, not dominate and frustrate my life. So I'll remember that.

And if I don't, then you will, right?

Because that's easier written than done.

Falling off the wagon

Well, I certainly haven't eaten very well the past few days.

It's just that this BABY seems to make me SO FREAKIN' HUNGRY. And eat things like chips and salsa mixed with Velveeta.

Yes, I said Velveeta. Me, who likes to only eat whole foods. FAKE FRICKEN CHEESE.

What's gotten into me?!

The good news is, the Velveeta (or, as it says on the package, "pasteurized processed cheese food") is gone as I used it up to make a casserole for Matt's Mom and Dad. She'll be coming home from the hospital--again--tomorrow. It's been a rough week over here for us, involving a trip to the ER for Matt's mom and a car that broke down in the hospital parking lot late Wednesday night. Stressful for me, but doubly so for Matt. Ugh. So, my eating went by the wayside a bit.

I'm a little afraid for this week's weigh-in.

But never fear--I made myself some healthy quinoa tastiness to fuel me up all week. And the running's been going pretty well. And the Velveeta is gone.

And tomorrow, Matt's mom will be home again. Hopefully for good this time.

So, things are starting to look up.

Baby Z is kicking up a lot now! I am excited to see the little bean on the ultrasound tomorrow. Hopefully all will be well in the ever-growing uterus. I feel huge, although I know I don't look as large and in charge as I feel.

The weather has been wonderful, and it's been great for the running. Running/walking has gotten me through the stress of this week--that and some awesome friends and family. So that's good. Although, I have to admit, it's weekends like this where I really, REALLY miss riding my BMC super duper fast down Route 2 toward the Valley for a good 2 hours.

Sigh.

But good things come to those who wait. And so, with that, I'll have to sign off and wait until 3pm tomorrow, when I get to see my little bean jumping around on a screen again.

Happy training to all, and to all a good night!

Me, Bug, and the Bump

I've been (finally!) getting my energy back, and we've been having some awesome weather (which means, for me--low 70s in the day, sunny, and near 50 at night. perfect.) so I've been taking advantage of this and running with Bug and the Bump after work!

It totally figures that the one he smiles in, my head's cut off. Gah. :)

Yesterday, we went for a three mile run. The pace is quite snail-ish, but it's still fun. Bug looks for "PLANES!" every two seconds and we both drink from a water bottle. The only trouble is that, since my inner thighs are fast approaching the size of metropolitan Akron, running shorts are not really my friend right now. Do you know how NOT fun it is to run while running shorts are creeping up your thighs? Do you know HOW DEJECTING THAT IS? Sigh...

So today, I decided to try a different approach. I wore my Ironman Wisconsin bike shorts since this weekend it will be three years (wow!) since I traveled on those roads. Bug, the Bump and I ran up to the grocery store to pick up a box of whole wheat pasta for a recipe I was trying. And just to keep a sense of humor about my increasing pudgy-ness, I wore this:

I got a few chuckles at the grocery store! You gotta keep your sense of humor, right?

So hopefully I'll continue these runs as long as I can. I'm thinking I might invest in a support band to help with any back pain, since back pain is what pretty much stopped me in my tracks around month 7 last time around.

The Bump's not such a bad running partner, you know?

Not much is better

...than your first run in brand new shoes, sunset along the lakeshore, 66 degrees.

Not much that I can think of, at least.

My kids are taking their APUSH tests today, and I'm really proud of them. They are ready. That means life will also get a bit easier for me the next few weeks, and I can exhale.

Except for my race. That's next week.

I'm coming to terms with the fact that it's going to hurt. It's going to hurt, and my body will want to stop, and that's okay. I'm going to have to ignore that.

I stole a great quote from Coach Emily here (Thanks, Coach E! :) and put it up for my quote of the week on my board...because my kids were saying how TIRED they were and how they didn't think they could make it to Friday. It also will be good for me to think about next weekend:

"Now, if you're going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. The body will always give up...you've got to make the mind take over and keep going." --General George S. Patton

A little bit of hurt is good. It reminds you you're alive.

A few more miles in the bank and then it's go time!