First Fever

I had a rather sluggish and rotten run Saturday.

I was supposed to run 10, with 3 warm-up, 4 at race pace, and 3 cool down. It was a lot warmer and more humid than I like or expected, and I ran out of fluids at mile 6. Great. I really dislike running in any weather above about 72 degrees, and in my perfect little world every run would be in a nice overcast 55 degrees. :)

I also had a hard time hitting my paces and decided to just do 3 at race pace-ish (but slower--boo) and 4 cool down. My average pace was fine for the whole run, but I beat myself up about missing the pace for the 4. I guess they all can't be good, right?

Ah, still got the 10 in. I guess that's good. Next week I have "13-16 with a negative split." I'm shooting for at least 14. We'll see how I feel.

For now, my concern lies with little JayZ. He has his first fever and it's just tearing me up. I just wish I could make it BETTER RIGHT NOW. Sigh. We think it broke this evening, so hopefully he'll be my smiley little guy again tomorrow. Poor little bug!

I'm hoping I'll be able to do a brick tomorrow with some buddies in the evening, but it will depend on how my little man feels. Plus, my body might be telling me to take it easy. I feel pretty sore today, so we'll see how things go.

I talked to my new coach, Emily, yesterday, and she rocks! I am so pumped up for this season! Looking at my countdown clock, I really don't have too long until Cleveland Half Marathon...gulp! I'm just pumped to run with my buddy TriShannon. That'll be the best part of the day!

Dinner in the sunshine

Today, I had a somewhat crazy day at work. I came home and enjoyed a nice dinner in the sun with my three boys. Then, the boys who have just two legs and I went to school to hear two guest speakers share their experiences.

They were Sudanese "Lost Boys."

JayZ sat quietly on my lap, staring and occasionally sighing. He gripped my fingers. I sat and listened to the stories of these two guys--just a few years younger than me--and tears welled up in my eyes. I squeezed JayZ's hand. A lot.

You know what? Even when you've had a rough day and you think life stinks, it doesn't. It's wonderful.

It's just like riding a bicycle...

I rode outside today.

For the first time (according to my Garmin, which I'm pretty sure is right) since September 30, 2006.

(Yes, that's a SIX at the end.)

I was pretty nervous. I wondered just how bad I'd be, as, after all, I really really have not worked on my limiter much. Bleh.

So I knew it would be my own stupid fault if I totally snailed it.

Light winds, blue skies, 75 degrees. That makes for a challenging day in the classroom (as the proportion of kids acting up increases exponentially with every degree the temperature rises) but, as it turns out, a perfect day for a ride.

So I started out on my old familiar route. I figured I'd go to my normal turnaround for a total of about 16.5 miles. And then it happened.

I forgot about sucking. I forgot about being slow.

And I had a blast.

The first mile or two I was a little apprehensive, but then it just started to click. I felt like I had never left.

I got home with a big smile on my face. And you know the best part?

I blew my expectations out of the water. I managed to average 18 miles per hour.

EIGHTEEN!

That, for me, is pretty good. Especially considering my year and a half hiatus. The crazy pregnancy-blood-doping theory holds true again! Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Watch out, pre-baby TriSaraTops. I have a feeling post-baby TriSaraTops is going to kick your butt.

Laying out the plan

So life's been kickin' my butt a bit lately, but I wanted to get a post up to outline what I've been working on for my new team. I've been wanting to do this for a while and actually started implementing it about a month ago. I figured if I made the team, fantabulous--it will greatly help me in putting this together--and if I didn't, I was going to go ahead with my plan anyway the best I could. I am very excited to have the support of my team for this project and hope to make it even better than I originally planned!

Here's what's going through my head. You can hear my actual interview on the website, but I was rambling rambling rambling and so nervous I was shaking and I have a horrible Cleveland accent (think Aflac Duck), so I'd rather just write. :) (TacBoy and The.Bigun also caught me off guard so my rambling and bad accent is also on their latest rockin' podcast! ha ha)

Goal: I want to focus on getting young people (middle and high school age) into triathlons.

Rationale

• it is great for overall fitness
• it complements all other sports and is fantastic cross training
• it gives kids "something to do" that is healthy and NOT illegal or unproductive
• it can bring families together to train and set goals
• triathlon helps you realize how strong you are and what you are capable of--young people, like all of us, can sometimes use a reminder of this in the face of stresses they are dealing with

Plan

• Create a website/blog called "The Tri Zone" geared toward young triathletes. This can be a place to share information, training suggestions, race reports, etc. I'm pretty technologically stupid, so it might just be a blogspot thing for this year.
• Ultimately, I want this to be the foundation for a local club that any community can set up. Sometime in the near future I envision this being a "club in a box" that I can send to anyone interested in setting up their own TriZone locally. It's a relatively easy, local, grassroots-style club that I want to be easy for any parent to administer. Parents have enough going on already, so I don't want people to be intimidated by boatloads of work to get this going. Hopefully, the club can sort of "run itself" if the foundation is strong, and that's what I'd like to work toward.
• Pilot this in my community (Northeastern Ohio) this summer. See what works, and what needs improvement. Tweak it, and spread it to other communities next summer.
• I have picked a few races that we will focus on here: The CVAC Tin Man Sprint Triathlon, the Greater Cleveland Youth Triathlon, and the Huntington Beach Sprint Triathlon.
• Implement a "Battle of the Schools" to get area kids interested in competing in a triathlon, meeting other people, and pushing themselves to be their best while challenging themselves

What I've done so far:

• I am still in the planning stages here, but am getting some great support and help from my friends in my tri club!
• I am starting to contact area Athletic Directors and Principals about setting up some kind of an informal group to try the Battle of the Schools. Another friend on the Board of CTC with me is helping contact some east side schools (Kenston and Chagrin) and I'm going to work on three west side schools (Rocky River, Bay Village, and Fairview).
• I will contact all track and field, cross-country, and swim coaches in all 5 districts to drum up some of the obvious candidates, but I also want to open this to all kids because, as many of you out there know, quite a few people get into triathlon who NEVER did ANY of these sports in high school! (myself included--I never swam on my high school team--only club summer teams)
• The focus of the East Side Battle will be the CVAC Tin Man, the West Side Battle will be the Huntington Sprint, and the Greater Cleveland Youth Triathlon will be the culminating triathlon of the summers for all five schools.
• I'd also like to have some kind of picnic/recognition after the Greater Cleveland Triathlon is done to reward the kids for their hard work and celebrate with their families.
• I'm trying to figure out how to handle a weekly training session on the east side (far, far away from where I live) but know that it will be no problem for me to lead one on the west side.
• I need to also consider the EXTREMELY IMPORTANT logistics of safety and liability, so I plan on getting this in order ASAP.
• I need to consider the eligibility rules of the Ohio High School Athletic Association for any fall athletes who compete in these local races. The last thing I want to do is have a kid be ineligible to compete in a fall sport because they did a "formal" race after such and such date!
• My tri club just "stumbled upon" a local young triathlete who is doing her senior project on area triathlon clubs AND is on the JUNIOR NATIONAL TEAM for USAT. Yeah. I plan on talking to her. A LOT.
• My awesome former Coach also has a contact at USAT who is on the committee for Youth in triathlon, so I'm planning on picking her brain a bit, too.

So that's what I've been up to! Oh, and getting ready for this AP test. And trying to train as much as I can. That's pretty much sucking up most of my life at the moment. And, of course, spending as much time as I can with this guy:

I'll keep you posted on the progress of this! I am really excited!

Start acting like a triathlete.

Seriously.

I need to really start acting like a triathlete. No excuses.

It's been hard to get in anything but running lately. Partly because I feel like, calorie-wise, it's the best bang for the buck. I can sneak in a 5 miler without too much time, and the only gear I need is my shoes (and perhaps the jogging stroller if JayZ is coming with me). Setting up the trainer, pumping the tires, checking the chains, or driving to the pool just takes more time. And it hasn't been happening.

Like, at all.

I hadn't swam since March 23rd until Sunday. I was pretty nervous to see what Rob had in store for us at our Oberlin swim clinic. I thought about wussing out and not going. I mean, what business do I have trying to keep up at a tough swim practice? Sheesh. I was kind of disgusted with myself.

So then I got there and heard we were doing a 20 minute time trial.

Gulp.

Prepare to have booty handed to me on a platter.

The good news is...I did the same as I did last time we did a time trial.

The bad news is....it's April, and I DID THE SAME AS I DID LAST TIME WE DID A TIME TRIAL.

Booooooooooo.

I guess I can at least be happy that I could still do it, and to some extent, I can kind of "wing" the swim. But that's not why I do this sport. I don't do it to "wing it," and I certainly don't do this sport because it's easy.

It's really easy for me to go for a run or a swim, because I'm relatively good at it. I'm not breaking any land-speed records, but it comes pretty easily to me. I can wing it.

There's a big pink elephant in my room right now on a bicycle. And this year, there are no excuses. I need to get better. I have no excuse NOT to get better.

It's easy to do what you like. It takes a tougher chick to admit you are NOT good at something, and then DO IT.

So, it's time. It's time for me to get outside on my bike again. To get dropped for a while. To feel my quads burning as I churn up a hill that everyone's already at the top of, and to blink back a few tears of frustration so no one sees. To swear a little bit under my breath. To remember that yes, I can do this. I might feel worthless and like the worst cyclist in the world, but I'm not. I know in my heart I'm not.

I just have to work at it. That's all.

a RACE REPORT!!!

No, your eyes are not deceiving you.

I have a RACE REPORT!

Like, really!

Not just a training report, or a report of JayZ, or some other random stuff.

I RACED! I RACED! YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(so I'm a little excited)

Okay, so I decided to do this 5K, even though I'm usually SOOOO not a 5K fan. The school district with the most people there gets $5,000 to better their physical fitness program, and that rocks. So, I figured, I might as well. Even if I walked it, it would be good for our school, you know?

Now, I had NOOOOO idea what to expect in this race. Let's list the reasons why:

1. I haven't RACED at all since 2006.

2. I haven't RACED a 5K since November of 2006.

3. I haven't done track work or speedwork (minus a few tempo runs) since (and I'm not kidding here) JUNE of 2006.

4. I OBLITERATED my core during the year 2007. Seriously. The 55 pounds I gained are gone, but I am, uh...still a little soft and mushy all around. (Yeah, I know. Nice visual, huh?)

So, of course, in Competitive Sara's head, a PR would be nice (which is anything under a 7:39/mile) but realistically I was hoping to hold more of a tempo pace, which would be a 7:50/mile. That would still push me hard and I would call that a victory.

But really, who the heck knows what this body was going to do? I had no clue.

And I was so giddy at the start line! I felt like a kid on Christmas. My good buddy Allenjel was there and I'm so excited to see her kicking so much butt and getting super fast! I thought if I could keep her in my sight the first mile or two I'd be in good shape.

Let's set the scene: 42 degrees, light winds, and what my buddy Canada Jenn likes to describe as "piss raining." What a wonderful day to race!

The only black shorts that were clean were the shorts I wore for my first marathon when I was about 30 pounds heavier, so I think I looked a bit ridiculous. Oh well! At least they were comfortable, right?

So the gun went off and I took off. HOLY SMOKES. My body was giving me a big WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON and my mind was like, SHUT UP, DUDE, JUST GO!

I checked Garmin around the first half mile, and was running at a 6:28 pace.

AGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Miss Six is back! But I really have no business seeing her today. I knew I was in for it later!

(I swear, a year and a half off racing and I make the same freakin' pacing mistakes. Some things never change!)

So I tried to slow way down....tempo run, self...tempo run...Their Mile 1 marker was a little short so I tried to go more by my Garmin. I hit the first mile in somewhere about 7:20, so that was good.

Mile 2 I felt a little slower. I tried to just remember that I can do this, and there's no reason for me NOT to be able to hold a tempo pace today. When I finished mile 2, my average had gone to around 7:38. (And that's when a teensy voice in my head said, "Hmmmmmm....PR, perhaps?") But I knew differently! That last mile always seems to kill me.

I got in a footrace at the end with a girl who was, like, 11. I sort of felt a little bad trying to beat her and let her have the last step or two. (She's 11! She deserves it more than me. Seriously.) I patted her on the back and told her "Nice kick!" Man, when I was 11, I thought running around the BLOCK was far. I love seeing kids race!

So here's the exciting part.

I didn't PR, which, of course, I really shouldn't be surprised about.

But my average pace (according to my Garmin) was 7:49!

For 3.1 miles.

With no speedwork.

And no racing in a year and a half.

And a mushy midsection.

Which, my friends, means I was only 10 seconds or so per mile off my PR that I set back in 2003!

Yahoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

So, that's what I call a victory. :)

Hopefully my school district will win 5 G's. That would rock! I also got to see Bloggister and Rootsrunner at the end, and Allenjel kicked major butt and placed in our age group! So all around, a wonderful day for a race.

Now, bring on the long course stuff! But maybe another 5K sometime...now, Competitive Sara is just getting curious about what she can really do. :)

______________________

UPDATE!

They posted the race results...turns out they had me at a 24:02, which is a 7:45/mile pace. I'll take it! I forgot to hit my Garmin at the end (typical) so I like theirs better. :) They also had the most interesting slaughtering of my last name I think I've ever seen....almost as good as the "Sara Avacado" swim ribbon I have from 4th grade. I love it! What I don't love, however, is the fact that I missed 3rd in my age group by FIVE SECONDS! Boooooo! Poop sandwich. Oh well--that's what I get for not catching her! :)



Here's me and allenjel chillin' with some random eagle dude.....huh?



We almost jumped in the big inflated jumpy thing they had for the kids, but it was cold and we were tired so we opted against it. Maybe next time!

Six Word Memoir

Whew.

It's Wednesday, and I'm as tired as I am on Fridays.

Yikes.

DBQs will do that to you...but they are done (yay!) and my students have really improved so much. I am excited and nervous for them as they enter the home stretch before the AP test. All I can do is prepare them the best I can, I guess. The rest is up to them.

Went for a 4 mile run Monday and a 5 mile run yesterday with JayZ. He goes out cold every time. Yesterday I did an out and back and felt like I was flying along for the first 2.5. And then, at the turnaround, the wind hit. Man, when that wind picks up...whew. Let's just call it one long hill repeat, 'cause that's pretty much how it felt. The kickin' stroller is not very aerodynamic, and especially when you add a 20.25 pound six month old boy.

So I missed my tempo run, but oh well. I haven't really missed anything yet, which I am quite proud of, so this one time I'll chill about it. Flexible, flexible....right?

And this weekend I'll have a little 5K action that I'm going to try and treat like a tempo run, so I'll get some speedwork in there. I'm not holding my breath to race this one well, but hey, I'm just so excited to put a number on again! Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

So my boy Bubba will be doing his first 100 MILE RACE this weekend. Bubba, you CRAZY! But that's why we love him! Best of luck to you! He also had a six-word memoir on his blog, which I heard about on NPR and thought they were really cool. In six words, try to sum up your life. It's hard, huh? I think I've settled on mine:

"What do you mean, slow down?"--TriSaraTops

What's your six words?

How to Drive Yourself Crazy

1. Assign a DBQ Essay for the test on the last day of the quarter.

2. Try to grade it in a weekend....

3. While still eating, sleeping, and attempting to have some kind of life.

Not my smartest moment!

Thank goodness for a KICKIN' 10 mile run yesterday to help me keep my sanity--6 hill repeats and still a negative split! Yahoooooooooooooo

Now if I can just find the time this week to enjoy the weather and finally go for a ride outside!

But for now...back to my DBQ dungeon.

And this is what I call EXCITED.

EXCITED might be the understatement of the century.

I am honored to be the newest member of EvoTri, and thank my family and friends for supporting me! I am so pumped to join the team, and even more excited to continue forward with the work I've already started to get young people involved in triathlon. This is going to be a jam-packed, exciting season as I combine two things I am extremely passionate about: triathlon and working with kids. I'll be outlining my plans as soon as I get the time here to jot them down...right now, JayZ is attempting to crawl, so I kinda want to check that out. :)

Thanks to my family and friends (and new teammates) for believing in me! I am so excited to begin this new adventure!

Five Miler!

It has been pretty warm here! Yahoooo! I don't want to speak too soon, because when I do that, we usually get about 4 inches of snow, BUT...methinks spring is arriving.

So we decided to ring in the new season by taking JayZ out for a jog!

It went something like this:

Me: Are you sure the straps are tight enough? Double check the straps.

Matt: I checked them. Like, 82 times.

JayZ: Why did they put socks on my hands?

Me: I can't believe we have to put socks on his hands because we can't find any mittens.

Matt: Let's go!

JayZ: Seriously. They put socks. On my hands.

Me: How's he doing?

Matt: Fine.

(we run .017 miles)

Me: Now how's he doing?

Matt: Still fine.

JayZ: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ




Me: (every half mile) Is he still asleep?

Matt: Yes. I told you. He's still asleep.

JayZ: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

And that's how we all ran a nice 5 mile jog together. It was pretty awesome! We're both excited that we can actually a) get outside and b) not have to time up our runs with naps, although it seems that runs induce napping. Well, at least it did this time!


And here's a picture from Easter. I mean, seriously--can my kid look ANY MORE like my husband?! I swear, unless I was there the day he was born....sigh... :)


64 degrees today and a Tribe Opener win! It just doesn't get much better than that.

This is our year...no, really...well, maybe.

It's finally here!

The Indians home opener and my beloved Tribe's season. I can't wait to watch it today with JayZ (all decked out in his new Tribe outfit) and our buddies. I wish I could be down there. And, hey! Bonus--it's not snowing this year! But alas, I can't get out of work in time.

So for another season, I will stand by my boys just like I have for the past 30 seasons now (but I only remember 23-24 or so) and, hopefully, if I'm really lucky, avoid having my little heart crushed and smashed and stomped on in October. Like last year. And, the year before. And, in 1997. And, in 1995. And throughout most of the 80s when we were 30+ games in the cellar. And, well, you get the point.

:)

GO TRIBE!

Pretty much a perfect morning

38 degrees.

Not a cloud in the sky.

JayZ slept well and greeted me with a big toothless grin.

Ran along Lake Erie, which is starting to thaw out. Big chunks of white float where I'll soon swim on a backdrop of a clear blue sky as far as I can see.

14 miles, negative split. Last mile 9:04.

Came home, kissed all three of my boys, found that the biggest boy ordered us Foo Fighters tickets (yahooooooo!) while I was out, the hairy four-legged boy licked my sweaty hands to say hello, and the littlest boy was napping in his swing.

And then I find out that I will be receiving an interview on Monday. And I'm honored and thankful.

Thank you.

Have a wonderful day...I'll be celebrating my best friend's birthday tonight and drinking some good wine!

Making The Team: 2008

This is it...voting's done tonight (Friday, March 28), so thanks to those who voted for me! There's some fierce competition out there. Whatever's meant to be will happen. May the best wo/man win!

Thanks again! :)

____________________________________________
I am a relatively ordinary, Midwestern girl, who leads a wonderful yet not atypical life. I am blessed with an amazingly supportive and loving family, loyal and genuine friends, a career that challenges and inspires me, and a five-month old son that I love more than I can explain.

And somehow along the way, I became an endurance athlete.

It was a dare to myself, actually. I questioned the direction I was headed in several aspects of my life. So I did something a teensy bit scary…I signed up for something called a “sprint triathlon.” I was a novice in every sense of the word, and that’s what made it exciting. And that nervous curiosity made me push myself harder and harder.

(I really, really like to push myself.)

Before I knew it, I crossed the finish line.

I didn’t realize that all I’d see would be an endless sea of starting lines before me.

That triathlon showed me there was something inside of me that I don’t think I fully understood or appreciated until that moment on that humid summer day. It gave me a new and quiet confidence.

If I can do this, what else can I do?

That finish line led me to go after a prestigious scholarship for graduate school, where I earned not only full tuition and immeasurable experience, but high honors. It led me to sign up for my first marathon, and cross that finish line only to dare myself to start another one. It led me to Ironman Wisconsin in 2006, where I had the privilege of meeting so many amazing people I am honored to call my friends.

That finish line inspired me to help others find their starting lines. I became active in my area’s triathlon club and made wonderful friendships. I led several open water swims for new triathletes and eventually got the privilege of serving on the Board of our club, where I currently hold the position of Secretary. It showed me, as it has showed so many, that the best part of training and racing are those friendships you make along the way. The miles, hardware, and the PRs may come and go, but a three-hour ride on hills in the pouring rain with a good friend is something that you just can’t quantify.

That finish line illustrated to me the power of using a starting line for change. I dedicated my Ironman race to raise money to fight Lymphoma, a disease which took my Great Aunt. I continue to be inspired—truly, deeply inspired—by my friends who race for a purpose greater than themselves. Not solely for a goal or a time, but for improving and changing lives.

This sport has power. It welcomes all; it embraces all. It asks you to look within yourself and make what you see even stronger. It asks you to make a difference to yourself, and often to the world around you.

And this…this is why I’m an endurance athlete.

VOTING IS EXTENDED UNTIL MARCH 28th!

Thanks for reading! If you think I should be the next fully-sponsored member of Team Evotri, please write down the URL of this web site and have it ready for voting when you click the EVOTE button below. Thank you!

Throwing my hat in the ring

Okay, I think all technical difficulties have been resolved...

Anyway, I'm throwing my hat in here. I'm going to Steelhead and WIBA regardless, so I thought I might as well give this a shot. I'm super excited to race this year, and I can't think of a better word to describe me right now than "evolving...."

So here goes!

How is it possible...

...that he already is looking like such a little BOY instead of a little BABY?




And how ridiculous is it that I get a little teary eyed whenever he grows out of an outfit? I can't possibly do that for the rest of his life. Sheesh.

At a certain point, you just get up.

JayZ was up briefly at 3am. And then, in classic fashion, my head spun with all the things I have to do today and I couldn't. fall. back. asleep.

Ugh.

3:22am.

4:18am.

4:57am.

5:25am.

Sigh.

Rather than lay in bed and be all salty until 6:30, I got up, threw on some clothes, and headed down for my 6 mile tempo run on the dreadmill. BTW--don't watch news channels for more than 5 minutes. I wanted to get caught up on what happened since I went to bed (because I'm that kind of news and politics geek) . They beat the Elliot Spitzer horse OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I zoned out and iPod'ed it instead.

6 miles, with 2 at a tempo pace of 7:50. Stretched, showered, made it to school, and now I'm playing the game of "how much can I get done before I crash."

On a second cup of joe, which is rare, but I need to make it until at least 9pm tonight.

Ugh. At least I got my run in, huh?

I really wish I could just sleep like a baby....

Since WHEN

....do 4 miles at 9:30 feel like crawling and 4 miles at 8:20 feel just about perfect?

Seriously. Whose legs are these and where are TriSaraTops' legs?

I guess I'll just keep these! But I hope no one comes looking for them...at least, not until after May 18. Then I promise I'll give them back.

'Kay?

Excuse me while I un-bury myself from the snow

You know what?

I heart me some snow. But right about now--in March--I'm kinda over it. And that's really unfortunate, because March is typically when we get our biggest storms. Like today. It started snowing last night and isn't supposed to stop until we have about TWELVE INCHES on the ground.

I just got a new student from Dallas, and he asked on Friday, "So, when is this supposed to stop?"

I sort of laughed.

I told him probably by April, except for last year when we got 12 inches on Easter.

He didn't look too excited.

But then I was reminded of a story I heard on some talk radio (I know, I'm sort of a dork, and listen to talk radio--especially when I was home on maternity leave and needed a little intellectual stimulation) of how some dude did research on "happiness" and "measuring happiness" within this country, and compared to other countries. He said he did one study in Michigan in March. Their weather is quite similar to ours. And many subjects said they would be "happier" to live somewhere else, like Southern California. Where the weather was nicer.

But you know what?

The author dude interviewed subjects in SoCal and did not see any higher "rate" of "happiness" (and I'm not sure how he measured this) there. People there were worried about things, too...just other things. Like the cost of living. Or other natural disasters NOT involving snow, like mudslides. Things that I don't really have to worry about. I thought that was really interesting.

Because every time it does this here I hear all the weather forecasters moaning and groaning about the doomsday storm we're about to have. Complaining. Like it's part of their job to complain, too, when giving us the weather. But even my student from Dallas said that the summers are pretty unbearable at times down there. 105 degrees and humid? No thanks.

So you know what? I REFUSE to complain about this storm. It's really quite pretty out there today. I'm going to enjoy this day as I'm still in my PJ's, and so is JayZ. I just lit the fire and I have a new Inside Triathlon and Runner's World magazine to read. And an 8 mile run to do, which will be on the dreadmill and I'll just get caught up on the Daily Show and Colbert. Tomorrow, the trainer will do, but I know that it's going to hit 50 degrees this week and riding on the roads again isn't too far away. And I can't wait for another year or two where, on a day like this, I'll fill a thermos with hot chocolate, bundle us all up, and hit the hill for some serious sledding.

So wherever you are...don't worry about it, whatever it may be. And carpe diem.

On Change

Yesterday, when I composed that post, I had just had a pretty tough week at work, then had my car bumped enough to do a little damage, and then tried to go on a 10 mile run, only to get about a mile and a half out to just feel a lump in my throat which I couldn't explain. So I stopped, turned around, listened to Jack Johnson's "All At Once" off his new album, walked home, and then cried. For no particular reason. I just felt overwhelmed.

After relaxing, playing some Rock Band, and having (finally) a good night's sleep, I decided to try again today. JayZ went down for a nap, and the sun was out and it was near 50 degrees (my favorite running weather), so I donned Brooks Comeback Hoodie, my iPod shuffle, the Garmin, and my shoes.

And I thought I'd try again.

Here's a rough estimate of my internal monologue.

Wow, it's nice out here. The snow is melting, the sky is blue, and I don't even have to wear gloves or a hat. This rocks.

Even the air smells like spring. I'm not naive enough to believe that this means spring is officially in Northeastern Ohio...I've lived here long enough to understand that March is, at best, schizophrenic in its weather patterns. But this is a taste. And the sun sure feels good on my face.

Today is Jackson's 5 month birthday.

Today is 5 months until I'll be diving in the water at Steelhead.

How has it already been five months?

Here it goes...mile 1. BEEP

9:09.

Huh. How 'bout that. That's exactly the pace I'll need to hit to run a 4 hour marathon in the fall. Heart rate is good, but that's a little fast for a ten mile run. I'd better slow down. I'd like to hold this thing around 9:15.

Oops. There's a puddle. Damn. Now my feet are wet. Oh well...it just means it's warming up.

I wonder if Jackson woke up yet.

There's an Obama sign. I wonder what's going to happen this Tuesday. Our state's gonna play a pretty big role here. That's kind of exciting.

I need to make a final decision. There are things I love and things I despise about all three of the big candidates. I think I know who I'm going to vote for Tuesday. I think.

Okay, here comes Mile 2. BEEP

8:56

Huh? (Makes a strange face) Okay...heart rate's still good. Where did that come from? Regardless...I'd better slow down. I can't hang for 10 miles at this pace.

More Obama signs. No Hillary ones. Interesting.

Mile 3. Here I go...BEEP

8:47

Okay, what the FREAK SHOW IS GOING ON.

Is this some kind of joke? Am I running downhill AND with a tailwind?

But this is the same route I always run when the snow is melting. Melty Snow Route is great because I can run on sidestreets and avoid slushy sidewalks and stuff.

Heart rate is still good. RPE is still relatively easy.

I guess I'll...go with it?

You should.

Why?

Because. I'm trying to show you something here.

Am I going to keel over after ten miles at this pace?

Nope. I'm trying to show you.

Show me what?

You're not the same.

I know that...I'm having a hard time trying to figure out who exactly I am now and how to be this new person...

Well, just stop already.

What?

I mean, stop. Stop analyzing. Stop worrying. Stop comparing. Just do this thing.

Do what?

Be what you're becoming.

Okay...

Understand that you can't stick to some schedule you might have used before. You need to be flexible, you need to bend more. You need to cut yourself some slack.

I know...I'm trying...

And I'm trying to show you just how much you've changed.

How so?

I'm trying to show you how strong you are now.

(silence)

You never believe me. You always try to talk yourself out of it. So I'll just show you, now, out here, how strong you've become.

(silence again)

And then I just ran. I just ran at a pace that felt good, and at a heart rate that was appropriate for a longer run. I heard a few birds. I saw kids making slushy snowmen out of the heavy, melting snow. I saw other runners out, enjoying the day. I saw what my watch said, and I could hardly believe it.

Before I knew it, I was back at home. A far cry from yesterday's failed attempt at a run. I finished my ten miles.

At an average pace of 8:53.

8:53.

?!

My body has always, always been smarter than me. Time and time again, it's tried to tell me what should be obvious. What I should know anyway.

I am strong enough for this. And getting stronger every single day.

I know today won't be the last time I see snow on the grass. I'm sure we'll have another few storms here in March--and they are traditionally the worst ones of the year. Last year we got a foot of snow on Easter in early April, for crying out loud.

But Spring is coming.

Things are changing. Including me.

And whatever storms might still brew in my mind, today showed me that the sun is coming. The weather's getting warmer. The sky didn't turn dark last night until almost seven.

Things are changing around here. Mostly with me.

So, hopefully, you'll stick around to watch this. I have a feeling it's going to get pretty good.

On Underestimation

It can be a beautiful, wonderful thing.

I had no idea how much I'd underestimate how much I'd love this little baby.

I knew that I would love him.

But I had no idea how much, and I can't even really describe it. I've tried to think of the best words, but I just can't.

I simply am in awe.

I have a brief second here...

...(story of my life lately)...so I am posting very briefly.

I'm coming up for air under a sea of DBQ's to grade. Those of you who know what those are understand how NOT. FUN. TO. GRADE. THEY. ARE.

I told my AP kids not to expect them the next day, as each one takes at LEAST 10 minutes to grade. And I have 44 of them. One kid said, "Hey, that means you have seven hours and twenty minutes...minimum...of grading to do."

Thanks, dude. Rub it in.

Anyhoo, ran some snowy wet hill repeats this morning for 9 miles. I'm so darn slow on hills, but they are good for me. Kinda like brussel sprouts. You don't eat them because you like them. You eat them because they are good for you and stuff.

JayZ has found his feet, and his thumb. Which is pretty sweet. :)

Swimming is coming along well, too. I made the mistake of thinking that, in the end of last Monday's workout, my "300 at T- :12" was supposed to be my threshold pace minus twelve seconds for EACH 100, not overall. Consequently, I pretty much DIED. And wasn't able to finish it. Then my buddy told me I was doing it wrong and it was TWELVE SECONDS OVERALL. hee hee! That's funny. I kicked my own ass for no reason.

So, all three major Presidential candidates will be in Cleveland Monday and Tuesday--and one in the city I teach in on Monday! Pretty sweet. I think I know who my choice is but need to do a little more digging to be sure.

And TriShannon will be in Cleveland for my comeback half marathon. She's going to run a 1:50 with me. And I don't care how she feels about it. She's doing it with me and THAT'S THE END OF THE DISCUSSION.

And I've been tagged by Ange and Triguyjt, and I usually don't have time for these but since I'm rambling and making no sense here I go okay ready go:

Seven Random Things About Me:

1. My ancestry is Portuguese, Italian, Scotch-Irish, and German. But my married last name is 100% Polish.
2. I'm somewhat of a neat freak, except for my closet.
3. Robot Chicken is a damn funny show.
4. I'm not sure who I'd pick: Jack or Sawyer. Probably Jack.
5. I graduated college with one of the newest Cavaliers, Wally Szezerbiak. And I probably spelled that wrong. His girlfriend (now wife) was in my freshman dorm, and she grabbed him up at freshman orientation. None of us even had a chance. Oh well. :)
6. My nickname for many years was (and to some people is still) Arcs.
7. I don't really like cake. It doesn't do it for me. But ice cream does.

If you'd like to be tagged, you are.

I'm so out of time. Bye.

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

"I am fearfully and wonderfully made." --Psalm 139:14

This was the verse that the sermon focused on today, the day we baptized our son. I haven't been to church since he's been born--something I'm not really proud of. I've been praying a lot--a LOT--don't get me wrong, but I haven't actually been to a service until today.

And that was the verse that the sermon focused on.

That was also the verse that I had typed small and taped in my bento box during Ironman. Because it reminds me that I'm stronger than I think, because that's how I've been made.

Interesting, no?

I'm continuing to be amazed by what my body's been doing. Yesterday, I ran a very hard, hilly 10 miles out at Hinckley with some of my Soler buds. It was hard, and it kicked my butt, and I loved it. We negative split it a bit, which is saying a lot for that loop. The last time I ran that loop was August of '06 with IronJohnny as we prepared for IMW.

It felt good to be back.

But cold. It was about 14 degrees when we started. (That's cold for here...I know it's balmy for some of my other blog friends) It was so cold the first mile that I could barely feel my hands except for the stinging.

Today?

Sunny, 51 degrees, and not a cloud in the sky this afternoon. I ran in shorts. A little windy, though. My Ironman hat flew off and almost landed in a creek. I saved it, of course.

My running is coming along really, really strong. Surprisingly strong, for me. I'm very excited to see what I can do this year.

It's pretty amazing what these bodies can do, you know?

Things I Heart

(in no particular order)


Carrots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Being chubby!

Being a Ladies Man!

And my Mommy.



Happy Valentine's Day....

Love,

JayZ

Twelve Year Old Me

I've been going to this awesome triathlon swimming clinic thingy my buddy Rob is running out at Oberlin College. It's been a lot of fun, although I haven't been as regular as I would like. But, I'm getting out there and seeing some of my tri buds and getting a real tough workout in, which is good stuff.

And the best part?

It's totally working.

Somehow, on only swimming once every 2 weeks, I'm getting faster. This makes me get excited to think what I could actually do when life settles down a bit and I can get to the pool more than once every 2 weeks.

How much is it working?

So much that I've actually been pretty shocked when I've been hitting the wall for most of the sets. From 50s, to 100s, and all the way up to 1000 yards. I'm like..."huh?" And, "really?"

Okay. We'll go with it.

But last week in the pool I thought of something, as I hit the wall for another set of 50s. I hit the split I needed to, and it was pleasantly hard...I was out of breath and had to really move the arms as I saw the black line rising up the wall. Rob asked me, "How'd those go?" I should have said good. Great even.

But I replied, "....okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah, okay..." I said. "I mean, I hit it, but I just remembered what I did when I was 12 years old."

He laughed and assured me that his twelve years old times were also a wee bit faster than today. And this coming from a guy who's freakishly fast.

For some reason, I thought about this on the whole ride home. I remembered what it's like to be in a swim meet. I haven't had one of those in a long time, but I still remember this one in particular. The one where I set my PR. The 50 free. In North Olmsted, Ohio, in a sort of crappy indoor complex. Those of you who are swimmers know what I mean here as I describe the sound of a 50 yard freestyle sprint. It's the quiet sound of your arms moving in water followed by a brief interlude of absolute screaming as you turn your head for a breath.

By the looks of this one, I could tell it was going to be close. My coach was screaming and I could see my teammates yelling at the top of their lungs. You can never make out any words...you just hear this mumbled roar. So I kicked it into the highest gear I could.

And I beat her. By barely a half a stroke.

That was Twelve Year Old Me. Shortly thereafter, I stopped swimming year 'round. I made the cheerleading squad (I know...don't laugh), decided I really wanted to be a fastpitch softball pitcher, set my sights on first chair flute, and went onto high school. Eventually, boys actually talked to me. Times got slower as I wasn't able to give swimming my all, as they usually do.

And then I was done.

(For a while.)

Now, Thirty Year Old Me swims in a pool with triathlon friends and tries to bring down my times as best I can on an every-other-week-swim schedule. There are bills to pay, diapers to change, and work to be done. There's no coach screaming for me to outkick the girl next to me.

But once you hear those sounds...you sort of always hear those sounds.

And I think what I've come to realize is that I am in triathlon because of Twelve Year Old Me.

Because, whenever I come to the wall after a hard set, I can sort of see her in the lane next to me. She's already at the wall. She's even smirking a little bit.

I don't know if I'll ever catch her. But her presence helps drive me.

I don't really get too into the age-group awards thing anymore, and that's probably a result of me not having much of a chance to place in age-group anymore unless it's a short distance race with not many people in it.

But I do get into beating Twelve Year Old Me.

I just wanna wipe that smirk off her face.

She doesn't know a lot of things. She doesn't know that Thirty Year Old Me has seen a lot more than she has and done a lot more, nor does she really care for that matter. She doesn't know how Twenty Nine Year Old Me trained for an Ironman for a year while performing a delicate balancing act with my career, friends, family, and relationships. She doesn't care about all that, because she can still beat me.

I can race her knowing these things. Understanding that, although she might beat me to the wall, there's a lot more that I've gotten to see and do by being a few seconds behind her.

She has no idea what 18 Week Pregnant Me did when I ran a 5K faster than she'd be able to do.

(She hates running, you see.)

She also doesn't know that 18 Week Postpartum Me is able to run 10 miles at a pace faster than Twenty Nine Year Old Me was able to do during Ironman training.

All she cares about is that she's at the wall faster than me. So she bobs there with her swim cap and her royal blue summer swim team suit that's faded a bit, with her event written on her hand in a black sharpie. And I'll let her go, because I know that I wouldn't trade those few seconds for the world.

But the idea that I might even be able to come close to her again is pretty exciting. And the understanding that I could absolutely annihilate her in anything over a 50 freestyle is also pretty cool. But she doesn't want to race that, you see.

When she mouthed off at practice, she was always getting threatened to be doing the 200 IM or 100 fly or some other event that would have been horrible horrible horrible for her. She only wants to do what she's good at.

And Thirty Year Old Me has done a lot more, mostly way out of my comfort zone. So I'll let her have this one little victory.

(For now.)

SNOW DAY SNOW DAY SNOW DAY!

Yahoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo no school tomorrow due to wind chill!!!!!

I realize that our wind chill is NUTHIN' next to what my bloggy friends to the north are dealing with (JenniferP, all the Twin Cities peeps) but it was enough for Northeastern Ohio.

And now I might actually get caught up on some things--like sleep! Boooooooooo yah!

I swear we're worse than the kids...

SNOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW DAY! :)

Stay warm everyone!

All I have time for

I'm behind on blogs and emails, most likely permanently. Or until June. Hope you understand.

This is very, very hard. I'm trying to keep all emotions in check, but it's rough. However, every day gets a little bit better.

For now, I only have time for a few numbers:

50 pounds lost

10 miles ran Saturday at a negative split (last 3 miles under 9)

2 miles at a 7:53 pace last night during my tempo run

And with that, I've gotta go.

Oh, the ways we trick ourselves...

I have to trick myself sometimes. Like, during IM training, I wouldn't shower the night before I had to swim. I always shower at night, so that would FORCE me to shower in the morning...and if I have to take a shower in the morning, I might as well do a swim, see?

So yesterday, after being up from 2-5am and being so ridiculously exhausted that I wasn't even making sense at times, I picked up JayZ to find him just going down for a nap.

Hmmmmm. Decision time.

Do I watch the Lost recap on the couch in PJs, or do I watch the Lost recap while running 5 miles on the dreadmill?

Before I had time to rationally answer that question, I POUNDED a mint-chocolate gu.

Because, see, after you eat a GU, it's really sort of necessary that you run, right? I mean, who pounds a gu like a college freshman pounds a Natty Light, and then goes to doze on the couch?

So I did. And, as usual, despite feeling soooooo tired that I barely knew my name, a good run makes it all better. And going to bed at 8:30 and sleeping soundly until 6:30 because my husband ROCKS also makes it all better.

Because, in my book, a tired groggy dreadmill run is always better than no run at all.

I Can't Fight It

So, I've had this problem/issue since I was a little kid. Often I wake up in the middle of the night for some reason and then my mind RACES RACES RACES over everything I have to do and OMG, it's getting late and did I do this already? and I can't believe I have so much to do tomorrow and oh no now it's 3:37am.

So, since I was probably 8 or 9 years old, I turn my alarm clock around. I have to, or I drive myself nuts. And this has worked pretty well.

So the plan was to work out before school so that I wouldn't have to do it when I got home. BUT, JayZ usually gets up once a night, unless we are lucky and he sleeps totally through, or to about 5am. The past 2 nights it's been around 2am.

It doesn't even matter if I get up or if Matt does. I'm up. And then I start to worry.

And then I can't fall asleep for, oh, about 2 hours.

Ugh.

So I had wonderful runs Monday and Tuesday, when he slept the whole way through. But since then I haven't because I've had the most random sleep schedule ever and been totally stressing about it.

So, I've decided on a new plan of attack.

• I will run at least 2 times during the week. This will happen Mondays and Wednesdays when Matt can get home fast after his school lets out. That way I can still spend good quality time with JayZ but Matt can play with him while I run...or JayZ might even take a little catnap, which would make me feel even better. I just don't want to miss anything.
• Runs won't be more than 6 miles for now, so I will be done in less than an hour.
• On the weekend, I'll do my longer run of 8-10 miles Saturday, and then either swim or run on Sunday.
• Core work will be done almost every day that I can, since I can have JayZ on the floor with me.
• A Friday 5 mile-ish run will be added when I can, to give me 4-5 runs and 1 swim for the week.
• I'm going to not worry as much about riding for now. I should be getting some spinervals DVDs soon so when I do I'll sneak them in on the weekend...maybe on Sundays. Something's gotta go, and since my early race is a half marathon, I feel like for now I can put cycling on the back burner. I know I should work on my limiter, but I just don't have enough hours in the day for now, and Steelhead isn't until August, so that buys me a little more time.
• Next year, when I get more settled and JayZ hopefully sleeps through most nights, then I will resume early morning runs, since I do actually enjoy them.

This way, when I get up at 2 or so, I won't put so much pressure on myself to hurry up and get back to sleep for 5am's wakeup call. Plus, I will be leading a 7am review session for APUS History every week starting next week. I will get to school relatively early all days and use that time for grading/planning, since even that still gives me some extra morning time.

So that's the plan.

Whew.

Now if I can just get through today without falling asleep...

And it's done.

We're all fine.

JayZ laughed and giggled all day long, and snoozed, and pooped. The usual. He even "left me a message" on my home machine to say he was happy and giggled. It was soooo cute and made me smile.

I got up, ran 5 miles, got ready, and then we had to WAKE JAYZ UP (seriously. the kid rocks.) to take him to the sitter's. Yes, he slept ALL NIGHT.

I cried a little when I said bye, and when I first walked in my classroom. Just a teensy bit.

And then, it felt kinda good to be back. Just a teensy bit.

I got very busy, which made time fly. And then it was time to go.

A good friend said it best to me when he tried to describe what I (and what we) are feeling right now. He said it's a revolution of your heart and mind. I think that's the closest thing I can liken it to. My heart and mind have been completely, 100% rewired over the past four months. I never knew it was possible to love something so much.

So tomorrow, we do it all again. Except it's a tempo run in the morning.

And another big smile and giggle around 3:30.

Ugh.

Okay.

I just cried for, oh, about an hour and a half. And I'M AT HOME.

I started while I was feeding him today, and then I just couldn't stop. He kept smiling at me, and I kept crying. Matt says I'm in big trouble when we take this kid off to college.

Ugh.

Maybe I'll get it all out of my system before tomorrow? Wishful thinking....?

Ugh.

A Few More Days

Well, I go back to work on Monday. I can't believe it's been 16 weeks already....SIXTEEN WEEKS.

How did JayZ choose to celebrate? By sleeping for TEN HOURS.

That's right. It's not a typo.

This morning I awoke to hear my neighbor shoveling snow. Then, I had a small moment of panic. Wait...if he's out there shoveling snow...it must be...morning?

MORNING!

I looked at the clock. 6:31.

OMG.

I darted into JayZ's room...and he was fast asleep. I had last seen him when I kissed him goodnight at 9:15 last night.

Thanks, buddy! :)

So I think I'm all ready. Diapers, wipes, and extra clothes are already at the babysitter's house. I have my first unit planned for AP and ready to go. World History is set since I've taught it for several years. I just need to get in there and make copies.

Monday. Monday it is.

I am really lucky that we could arrange so I didn't have to go back after 6 weeks. We only get 6 weeks paid, but Matt and I really wanted to have more time than that, so I've been unpaid for quite some time now. It's been a bit of a challenge and we've had to use our credit cards more than we'd like to, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Anything.

So I'll be bringing a few extra kleenax with me on Monday, and at least it's a teacher work day. So if I need to cry a little, no students have to see. I do want to be there. I do want to go back. I am choosing to go back, which I always said I wanted to do...I didn't want to have to go back unless I wanted to, and I do.

But it's still so hard to imagine my day away from him. Even though he takes a good morning and afternoon nap, as my buddy K at work told me to make me feel better. "Dude," she said, "He's gonna be sleeping for what, 3 hours anyway? And we only work 183 days out of the year."

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. It's still kind of hard to think about next week, though.

One of my former students was home for break and I got to meet her for some coffee. She's studying to be a high school science teacher, which is awesome, because she's one of the good ones. We really, really need the good ones to go into this field. I had her as a freshman in World History and she was wise and mature beyond her years, which she still is now. She just texted me the other day, because she knows I'm worried about how I'll handle going back. She said, "You love JayZ and you love teaching, and there's enough love in you for both."

She's right. There is. I just have to remember that when I step back into room 221.

I'll adapt and we'll make it work. I'm amazed at how well we've adapted so far. My body's never really let me down, and it's always been my mind that's my biggest foe. So I just need to remember to trust myself here. If chores fall by the wayside a bit, it's OK. If I can't cook a nice meal like I enjoy, then the microwave can be our friend for a few weeks. I'm lucky that Matt is so helpful. Now that we're both working out a lot we have a TON of smelly laundry, and he always pitches in. I'm hoping to get up early 3 times during the week (at least) to get a run or swim in, and then fit in longer workouts on the weekend.

I'm going to be a little tired...I can't expect JayZ to sleep as well as he did last night every night. But somehow, we'll make it work. We always do. We've made it work the past few months and had to sacrifice some things.

But it's been amazing.

And I wouldn't change it one bit.

And there is enough love in me for it all. I have to remember that.

Happy Stuff

Okay, so now that my rotten week is over, and the worst of the bad stuff seems to have passed, here's some happy stuff:

• soooo excited to race this year I can barely stand it


• able to hold my 2 miles of tempo at an 8:07/mile this week--yippee! Am slowly working my way down to 7:50 tempo miles as "official" half mary training starts 2/17


• despite swimming 3 times in the past month, I didn' t get my butt kicked TOO bad today in the pool...yippeeeeeeeee


• also surprising today was my 1000 yard swim as it wasn't TOO far off what I would like to see it at...did it in 17:19...again, very pleased as I have been a total pool slacker lately


• the trainer is so much better when watching the Colbert Report


• Matt's birthday present totally kicks butt but I can't write what it is yet because he SOMETIMES reads this (and with my luck if I write what it is he'll check)


• got to have dinner with 2 of my Miami AGD buds, Miles and TBone last night--we had some good laughs, girl time, and pinot noir...mmmmmm


• Friday night got to have dinner with my funny friend Jon and his awesome fiance, Amy, so that cheered us up quite a bit


• 45 pounds down, my friends. 45 pounds.


• Guess who ROLLED OVER this week? I'll give you a hint: it wasn't me.

I was trying really hard to keep everything here training only, but life is spilling over into training lately.

This has been a really, really rough past few weeks and especially an awful few days. More so for my friends than for me, but that in and of itself is quite hard.

Yesterday I just needed to zone out and spin on my trainer, and the whir of the wheels helped me to not notice as much the taste of salty tears mixing with salty sweat. Today's 6 miles on the treadmill did the same. Some days you just need these workouts--not for any time or distance goal, but for keeping your head together goal. It wasn't the first time nor I'm sure the last that I've felt tears well up on a run or ride, and dealt with my own fears and demons by putting one foot in front of the other.

Over the past few weeks, and especially the past few days, my prayer list has gotten longer and longer, and I am finding myself wondering if God is getting sick of me always asking him to help my friends.

In between text messages, phone calls, a wake, and a funeral, I have been forced to think about a few things.

What if it was my dad, who was shoveling snow a few days before Christmas and found himself having a hard time talking to his wife, only to have emergency surgery on Christmas Eve morning, and then to find out a few days later it was stage four brain cancer?

What if it was my ten month old in Intensive Care and on morphine for almost two weeks?

What if it was me who had to jump the red eye to Denver because my brother had tried to commit suicide?

What if it was my dad who fought a courageous battle with stomach cancer and lost the fight this Saturday?

In all four cases, it wasn't. It isn't. And all I can do is thank God and pray and pray and pray as much as I can for those who it is. But I was forced to think about what it would be like if it was...if I lost my husband, my father, my brother, or my son. I see the strength that my friends have right now and as I ran today I really thought to myself, "I don't think I'm that strong."

I hope I don't have to find out.

Why do I do these things--run, swim, bike, push myself like I do? Because my legs can move, my brain is fine, my heart beats. Because I have those privledges. I have a wonderful family and friends that I can't imagine life without, but every once in a while, I have to, and it sucks the wind right out of my lungs.

So I do the only thing I can do. Be there for them as much as I can. Pray for them.

And to keep me strong for them, I have to run. So I will.

I Told You So...

...said the body to the TriSaraTops.

Had to stay close to home for my run this morning, and I don't know why, but it was so awesome. I had to SLOW MYSELF DOWN. Huh?!?!?!??!

For real. I really had to hold myself back.

Maybe it was Sweet Brooks Comeback Shirt?

Could be my new iPod nano and my new purchase of tunes, including Kanye's "Stronger," which pumps me up big time?

Could be a nice run along Lake Erie with no breeze, 37 degrees and sunny?

Man, it just CLICKED today.

I finished 8 miles in a negative split. Average pace 9:23/mile.

For me, that's like, good and stuff. That almost makes me able to keep up with ESpeed on her really really slow recovery runs!

I think the little bit of fartlek/tempo stuff I've been throwing in, combined with dropping a few more pounds, must be contributing. Coach Kara told me when I was preggo and slow about all these studies showing women about 6-12 months postpartum coming back stronger than they were before. Then I saw Paula Radcliffe won NYC this year just 10 months after giving birth to her daughter.

You know what's EXACTLY 10 MONTHS TO THE DAY AFTER JAY-Z'S ARRIVAL?

Steelhead 70.3, baby.

So clearly, that means I'm going to WIN Steelhead.

(kidding)

But I think it means that setting some lofty goals this year like I have isn't too totally crazy and insane. It's a little insane, but not quite Britney Spears insane. So that's good.

All that time last year when people were telling me to ENJOY being pregnant, stop fighting it so much, be slow and happy, and know that I would come back faster...and you know who you are...um, yeah. Go ahead and say I told you so.

It's not the first time I should have listened to others who had been there before. :)

Coca Cola Shirts and Cavaliers

So today on my tempo run (which was fabulous, by the way), I got to thinking. I've been wanting a new, hawt, sexy tri bike for a while now.

But why? I dunno. I guess because it just seems like a natural progression or something. You know...start running, do a few sprint tris on mountain bikes, get an entry-level road bike, run a marathon, do an MS 150, think maybe an Ironman's not so crazy after all, spend a few seasons getting ready for it, finish Ironman. Want a new sexy hawt tri bike.

Now that I'm realizing how much child care costs (seriously...second mortgage, anyone?) and just signing up for races in general (for real, dawgs...does Steelhead REALLY need all $200? Would they also like my soul?), I'm thinking it's just not going to happen.

But I think that is OK.

See, I really have no business going out and getting a hawt sexy tri bike. Not just because I can't afford it. Because I'm not really even cool enough to ride it.

Seriously. I have no business on one of those things. Who am I kidding?

Growing up, my parents THANKFULLY did not allow me to succumb too much to the ridonkuluss-ness of the dreaded Middle School Years. Where most girls are mean girls, and where you tried your hardest to look like everyone else. Where you buy that purple ESPRIT sweatshirt...marked up $50 because it has the word "ESPRIT" on it and at age 11 you're not even really sure what that means but you MUST. HAVE. IT. because so-and-so has it and made fun of your outfit from Sears.

I really didn't have much ESPRIT stuff. Except for one purple sweatshirt.

But one thing I did have was a Coca Cola shirt. Exhibit A:


It was red, because it had to be. And I wore it on the first day of 6th grade with my denim skirt and loafers with the laces tied in some ornate knot that I had to do because everyone else was doing it.

I loved that Coca Cola shirt. It was the one piece of clothing I had that I really allowed myself to "buy into the hype" and feel all cool and stuff and do what everyone else was doing.

And then a few years later...and even now...I look at this thing and go, HUH?

THAT'S the fugly thing that I wanted to wear? Because everyone else said so?

Hmmm.

Since when have I cared what I'm riding? Honestly. Sheesh. I am currently driving the only car I've ever owned... a '99 Chevy Cavalier (total base model--no power locks or windows) with 92,000 miles on it. The heater and AC has two levels: high and off. The cupholder blows. There's some weird stains on the seats. It came with just a RADIO. Not even a tape deck. I splurged and spent $125 on a CD player, lest I succumb to the idiocy of Cleveland radio stations. The rust spot on my trunk is covered up with an Ironman Wisconsin magnet.

It is NOT a HAWT SEXY CAR at all.

I drive it to school and sometimes my students make fun of my car. SERIOUSLY. My students, many of whom have brand new or leased cars that are wayyyyyyyyyyy cooler than mine.

THEY'RE SIXTEEN.

Last year there was an H3 in the student parking lot.

I wish I was kidding.

I am always quick to defend my car. It's been hella more reliable than many of my friends cars. I gotta give Chewy some love. (that's her name) In fact, I sort of pride myself a bit on having a car that I paid off in 2002 still, that doesn't have any bells or whistles, and that I have money to spend on other things. Like a backpacking trip to the Grand Canyon, or whitewater rafting in the New River with friends.

(Or, lately, diapers and wipes.)

So I think I'm going to embrace my bike. Love the bike. It's a 2002 Trek 1200. I bought it with no experience whatsoever, and it took me on my first MS 150 that August. It allowed me to think, "Hey...maybe that Ironman thing...maybe it's not too crazy, since I just rode 150 miles...?" And it took me to Ironman Wisconsin. And it got me to the finish line.

She's not very sexy. But she's a workhorse.

This year, I'm going to put my FP60s on this very ordinary, very entry-level, very non-hawt bike. These FP60s, which are WAYYYYYYYY cooler and hawter than my bike, or really me for that matter. And I'm going to see how far they take me. And how far my bike takes me. But really, I'm going to see how far ME takes me.

Maybe the transition area at Steelhead will remind me of my high school's parking lot. I'm used to driving the oldest car there and it doesn't affect my work performance at all.

Perhaps ol' Chewy is trying to tell me something.

I Just Fartleked

Yes, I did! And it was a good one.

Decided I would throw a little teensy bit of speed in now that things have been good for the past 6 weeks. I was able to hold my pushes in the low-8s without too much trouble. It felt good to kick it up a bit. Hopefully this will also help Operation Melt the Muffin Top, too.

I've been thinking of ways to help me feel better about going back to work. It's not that I don't want to teach; in fact, I miss that. I miss the students and I miss teaching. It's that I don't want to hand JayZ off to someone else. Ugh. I'm dreading that day. Good thing I have 1st period free in case of major waterworks.

Reasons its' not so bad, right:

--Since I only work 9 months out of the year, or 75% of the year, then it's ALMOST like I'm ALREADY working part time...right? So I'll just pretend I'm "part time." That sounds better.

--Think of all the famous moms who are back at work...Reese Witherspoon won an Oscar after having 2 kids...Paula Radcliffe kicked booty in NYC just 10 months after her baby...so surely somehow I can grade papers, right?

You get the picture. I'm gonna have to really talk myself down from the "this is the worst day ever" feelings I'm having about January 29th...

On a lighter note, we enjoyed Matt's last day off of school yesterday by taking JayZ to the pool for his FIRST! SWIM! EVER! We'll be starting sets of 100s soon. :) He wasn't quite sure at first but then he loved it! He looks a little bored here, but you'll have to take my word for it.


And this picture quite pains me, but it's so darn cute at the same time. Look at the twins! New sweatshirt courtesy of Auntie ESpeed. :) As a Big 10 fan, I have to admit I was really glad to see Florida lose. Don't worry...he'll be wearing the RIGHT COLORS on Monday!

All I Wanted For Christmas

...and then some.

What an amazingly fun first Christmas as three! It began with a few things before Christmas....

--A fun time with my 2 chicas, TriShannon and DaisyDuc as we met up in Columbus for lunch

--Lunch the next day with JayZ and my buddy, Steph, who came up from C-bus for a quick visit
--an 8 mile run at a 9:42/mile pace, followed by coffee at Caribou with my running buddies

--an awesome 2500 yard swim at the BRAND SPANKIN' NEW REC CENTER opened in the city where I teach...which means, folks, that I can buy a membership for Matt AND myself for less than just myself at the Y! Goodbye, 20 yard Y pool that is 99 degrees. (moment of silence for my Y membership)

--42 pounds lost and counting. (Sadly, I have a few more still to lose...you'd think 42 would have been enough, but Baby Z just really wanted me to pack it on.)

--Registering for the final stage of my comeback "trifecta..." the Columbus Marathon. Sub-4, here I come!

Christmas was spent with family and friends, and we had a wonderful time at home sharing our first Christmas morning with our little guy. He wasn't quite sure what was going on, but that's OK. I can't wait until he gets to understand the magic that Christmas brings.

And to think, that last year at this time I was sunning and surfing in the Pacific Ocean in Hawaii...wow, what a difference a year makes.

With all the changes of the past year I feel so overwhelmed with gratitude for what I am so lucky to have...my family, my friends, and my health. As two of our friends are struggling to deal with some serious issues in their families this holiday season, it makes me realize even more how blessed and lucky I am.

I can hardly wait to see what 2008 brings.

Busy week! It's amazing how much I have going on despite not being at work.

Stopped into work to see my students today. JayZ was a trooper and let everyone oooh and ahhh over him without pooping, spitting up, or fussing. Thanks, buddy! It was good to see my students again.

Workouts have been going well, although a pesky old plantar fasciitis-y heel is bothering me slightly. I've been icing and stretching lots and lots, and sleeping with the funky sock thing, which is how I nipped it in the bud last time. Hopefully it won't bother me much longer and I caught it fast enough.

In biking news, there is no biking news.

(I know, I know. What ever happened to "working on my limiter?" Gimme a few more weeks...)

In swimming news, things are going really well! Got to drive out to Oberlin on Sunday and swim with some tri friends, including JenC, who was looking solid in the water as her usual Ironman-self always does. Even got to move up for a few sets with the fast dudes--score! Although, said fast dudes pretty much caused me to get my ass handed to me. Hey, that's a good thing, though. Keeps me motivated. I haven't been able to hit the pool as much as I've liked, so if I have any hope of staying in the fast dude lane, I'd better get there...asap!

Tuesday, JayZ and I got to have lunch again with superfast blogger Kurt! Here's proof:

And here's proof that Matt and I had way too much with hair gel:

Tomorrow, I'm driving to Columbus for a few hours for something super-fun...pics to come!

Another 7 mile run this Saturday, as I'm holding the mileage steady at 20 for a few weeks. If the heel thingy gets worse I'll be cutting that way back, but for now I think things should be OK for a nice run outside.

And finally, happy three-years-since-we-brought-you-home tomorrow, Mugsy! You're such a good Pug Man. :)

A Few Numbers

1 cozy nap with my three boys (Matt, JayZ, and Mugsy)

3 Clif Bloks (Strawberry)

16 ounces of NUUN

8 ounces of water

1 mint-chocolate GU

7 miles ran in the snow

1:09 total run time

9:57 average pace/mile

1 Trisaratops who looked like a human icicle upon arrival back home

3 giggles at Mommy covered in snow from one happy little boy

20 miles of running this week

70.3 miles will be covered at Steelhead on 8.2.08--I'm in...it's official!

1 very happy tri-mommy

1 handsome little devil

Running Roulette

I've been playing a little game I like to call "Running Roulette."

Here's how it works:

1. Feed a hungry JayZ. Watch for his eyes to start a-drifting.

2. When eyes are heavy, put JayZ on bed and change into running clothes.

3. Pick up JayZ and take him to the basement. Proceed to rock him and sing him a few songs until he's OUT.

4. Put JayZ in his swing, which is right next to the treadmill. Turn on swing and classical music.

5. Quickly lace up shoes. Grab water bottle. RUN RUN RUN START RUNNING HURRY UP

6. Run 4 or 5 miles. Continually look at JayZ to see if he is waking up. (he never, ever does--must be the music and humming of the dreadmill)

7. Stretch while facing JayZ in swing. Here's where it gets interesting...

8. Wonder if I have time for a shower.

9. Make sure monitor is on. RUN up to bathroom, stripping down on the way. Jump in shower and HURRYYYYYYYYYY and take fastest shower of your life.

10. Listen to monitor. Usually still just hear "click clack" of swing and music. If this is the case, dry off and attempt to dry hair. If you hear rustling, or even worse--crying--throw on a robe, put hair in a turban, and rush downstairs.

11. If music is still playing and no rustling is occuring, attempt to dry hair. Abort mission as soon as monitor shows signs of fussiness.

12. If you've gotten this far, you can try and get dressed. MAYBE even throw on a little makeup?

13. And finally, the ultimate--you get to eat lunch.

Most times JayZ lets me at least get to shower, and more often than not, actually dry my hair and have lunch. Provided I can get outside for my long run tomorrow, I will hit 20 miles of running this week with my little game.

Thanks, Little Man. You're the best little guy for a million reasons, and this is just one. :)

Munch Munch Munch => ajfksdlfjsdlfjsdkldsajfkds

That's the sound of me eating my words.

Remember pretty much all summer when I was FREAKING OUT about gaining so much weight, and many of you told me not to worry and stuff?

Yeah. I get it now.

Not the first time I shoulda learned my lesson and listened to those who've been there....

Anyway, now that the running is coming along (I'll hit 20 miles this week--yahoo! Then I'll hold that steady for a few weeks before beginning speedwork/hills) the weight is starting to go.

I am officially able to button both my favorite pairs of jeans--no bella band required! This is good news. I still have 6 weeks to get back into my work pants and not have them look too muffin-top-y. The size 6 stuff still isn't a go but the size 8 stuff is. Sweet.

It looks as if my marathon plans have to change, too. One of my best guy friends from like, kindergarten, just got engaged to an awesome chick on Thanksgiving. They just announced their wedding date: October 11. Chicago's marathon is the 12th. The wedding's in West Virginny.

So that's not going to work. I can't miss his wedding, nor do I want to.

Looks like I might be heading to Columbus the following week. I've heard pretty good things and have a bunch of buddies that live there, so free room and board, and only a 2 hour drive. I'm a little sad that I can't do Chi-Town though and I know I still want to do it someday, but friends are more important, you know?

Munch munch munch. I promise to listen more to others that have been there.

And some of you told me that the anticipation of going back to work and leaving my little guy is worse than the actual event, so I'm trying REALLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY hard to listen.

Distance Girl, Revisited

Wow.

Sometimes blogs and email just go by the wayside. For like, a week.

Anyway, I had an awesome week of workouts and spending time with JayZ. He had his shots on Tuesday--which was harder for me than for him, if that's possible--and is already 14 pounds. Dare I say that he's been sleeping through the night? From what I'm reading on websites it qualifies as sleeping through the night if we get a stretch of 5 hours. For the past week, he's given us at least 4 and the past two nights we got 6.

SIX.

IT. WAS. AWESOME.

It's amazing how much better you feel with sleep. Sometimes after I feed him around 7am I bring him to bed with me to snuggle for another hour or so. I know that I don't have much longer to enjoy this time so I'm trying to take every advantage that I can. I already had a little meltdown at 4am on Saturday morning after I put him back in his crib and wondered how on earth I'm going to leave him in January.

But I'll do it somehow, I'm sure. I think the anticipation of my first day back is going to be much worse than the actual day. Thank goodness I'm not dropping him off at the sitter's--I get to pick up. But I'm sure I'll still be a crying mess 1st period, nonetheless.

JayZ seems to just know that Mommy needs to run, and he is great at letting me do just that. So is my amazing husband who does whatever he can to let me sneak outside for anything more than 4 miles when he can. I'm trying to repay the favor for him, although he hates the cold and prefers the dreadmill. Ew. Give me cold and rainy over dreadmill any day. But, I'm glad we have the 'mill and JayZ will sleep in his swing while I squeeze in a 4-miler here and there. Thanks, buddy.

I'm also getting stronger in the pool, slowly and surely. My 100s at 75% effort this week were quite pleasing. Now, my 200s are another story. Ugh. But, it will come.

One part of my equation as a triathlete is sorely missing here. I know, I know. I'll get back in the saddle. It's just not as fun, and time is at a premium so I'd rather do what's fun at the moment. Not the best way to improve your limiter, but hey, it's working for now so I'll take it.

I watched Ironman Wisconsin on TV and got so pumped up. It reminded me of everything from my Iron Summer of 2006, and all the amazing things I got to do an amazing people I got to meet. It got me thinking about what I plan to do next year. Things are going well so far so I feel like I can start to really firm up some goals and state my intentions. I'd rather reach high and fall hard than not reach at all, you know?

From 2002-2004 I did lots of short course racing--5Ks, 10Ks, sprints and olympics. It was fun and I had a great time--mostly because of who I was with. My buddy Canada Jenn and I raced almost every weekend and often placed in age group, although I was almost always a good 30 seconds behind her. Speedy girl, that CJ is. I now realize that I built up my base from these years, and that's a good thing.

So I thought I'd just want to get back into that in '08. I wouldn't have time for the long stuff. It would be fun to hammer again. Maybe I can try for age group glory again.

But a funny thing happened on the way to basework.

I don't want to do that anymore.

I want the long stuff.

Now, I realize that this doesn't make sense on paper. Why wouldn't I want to do shorter things? Won't that be easier to train for? But I can usually place in age group in small, short stuff...and I ain't even CLOSE to bringing home any hardware in a half marathon, marathon, half-ironman, or IM. Why would I want to do it?

I don't really have an answer for that. When I was running my six miles on Saturday one of my favorite running songs came on the ol' iPod...

"The sun has gone down and the moon has gone up
And long ago somebody left with the cup...

...No flowers, no flashbulbs, no trophy, no wine
He's haunted by something he can not define..."

I think the only way to explain it is that it's just more me.

So that's what I'm going to do.

Perhaps I should state my intentions.

(this is a little scary, but I'm aiming high with the realization that if you aim high you might fall hard)

My A goals include the following:

May 18th: PR in the Cleveland Half Marathon. Ideally, sub-1:50.

August: Sub-6 at Steelhead HIM.

October: Sub-4 at a marathon.

There. I said it.

Let the adventure begin.

Flabbergasted

Maybe it was because the Ironman World Championships were on TV last night.

Maybe it was because I got to play Whirlyball with my friends yesterday afternoon. (Which is amazing, by the way)

Maybe it was because I got to see all my running friends again this morning.

Maybe it's because two days ago I finally got my butt on the trainer for 40 whole minutes and lived to tell the tale.

Maybe it was because I was wearing my sweet new Brooks Hoodie aka "Comeback Shirt."

For whatever reason, my first "long" run blew me away. I can't believe it's only been 2 weeks or so since I started running again...things just seem to be clicking. I'm increasing 10% per week and supplementing with core work and yoga. Whereas two weeks ago I was only able to go about 12 minutes/mile, today...

...I ran 5 miles at an average pace of 9:56, with my last mile being 9:36. But the great thing is I didn't even know it until I was done. I just went by feel and hit my splits without checking until it was over.

Me. So. Happy.

:)