Thursday, January 24, 2008

A Few More Days

Well, I go back to work on Monday. I can't believe it's been 16 weeks already....SIXTEEN WEEKS.

How did JayZ choose to celebrate? By sleeping for TEN HOURS.

That's right. It's not a typo.

This morning I awoke to hear my neighbor shoveling snow. Then, I had a small moment of panic. Wait...if he's out there shoveling must be...morning?


I looked at the clock. 6:31.


I darted into JayZ's room...and he was fast asleep. I had last seen him when I kissed him goodnight at 9:15 last night.

Thanks, buddy! :)

So I think I'm all ready. Diapers, wipes, and extra clothes are already at the babysitter's house. I have my first unit planned for AP and ready to go. World History is set since I've taught it for several years. I just need to get in there and make copies.

Monday. Monday it is.

I am really lucky that we could arrange so I didn't have to go back after 6 weeks. We only get 6 weeks paid, but Matt and I really wanted to have more time than that, so I've been unpaid for quite some time now. It's been a bit of a challenge and we've had to use our credit cards more than we'd like to, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Anything.

So I'll be bringing a few extra kleenax with me on Monday, and at least it's a teacher work day. So if I need to cry a little, no students have to see. I do want to be there. I do want to go back. I am choosing to go back, which I always said I wanted to do...I didn't want to have to go back unless I wanted to, and I do.

But it's still so hard to imagine my day away from him. Even though he takes a good morning and afternoon nap, as my buddy K at work told me to make me feel better. "Dude," she said, "He's gonna be sleeping for what, 3 hours anyway? And we only work 183 days out of the year."

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. It's still kind of hard to think about next week, though.

One of my former students was home for break and I got to meet her for some coffee. She's studying to be a high school science teacher, which is awesome, because she's one of the good ones. We really, really need the good ones to go into this field. I had her as a freshman in World History and she was wise and mature beyond her years, which she still is now. She just texted me the other day, because she knows I'm worried about how I'll handle going back. She said, "You love JayZ and you love teaching, and there's enough love in you for both."

She's right. There is. I just have to remember that when I step back into room 221.

I'll adapt and we'll make it work. I'm amazed at how well we've adapted so far. My body's never really let me down, and it's always been my mind that's my biggest foe. So I just need to remember to trust myself here. If chores fall by the wayside a bit, it's OK. If I can't cook a nice meal like I enjoy, then the microwave can be our friend for a few weeks. I'm lucky that Matt is so helpful. Now that we're both working out a lot we have a TON of smelly laundry, and he always pitches in. I'm hoping to get up early 3 times during the week (at least) to get a run or swim in, and then fit in longer workouts on the weekend.

I'm going to be a little tired...I can't expect JayZ to sleep as well as he did last night every night. But somehow, we'll make it work. We always do. We've made it work the past few months and had to sacrifice some things.

But it's been amazing.

And I wouldn't change it one bit.

And there is enough love in me for it all. I have to remember that.


Wes said...

You love JayZ and you love teaching, and there's enough love in you for both.

I like that alot...

Kim said...

you are da woman.

Brent Buckner said...

What a touching post.

jbmmommy said...

I wish for you a smooth transition and more nights of sleep. Take care.

triguyjt said...

ditto on the "enough love for both" very nice way of looking at it.
you were very wise to extend the stay at home. props to you and your hubby for making the financial sacrifice to stay home...
priceless, really to be with the little guy
good 221 will love having you back

Siren said...

I hope you have a great first day back - and many more 10 hour nights of sleep! (I got 4 last night and felt like I won the lottery.)

It's starting to sink in that the baby geek will be 10 weeks on Monday and the work calls I'm getting now aren't too soon and it's freaking me out!

Wil said...

One of your best posts ever, Iron-mommy :)

IronMatron said...

There is enough love in you to love JayZ and teaching--and even enough love to have another baby or two and teaching and triathlon! It's just a little tricky to coordinate it all...And you will have all summer, every summer and you get out by 3 pm most days (9 and now you have a really good excuse to bolt after school) and kids don't really read your comments anyway, so just skip that whole correcting thing. ;)It will be okay.
I'll be thinking about you!

Matt & Stacey McSkimin said...

Sixteen weeks is a really good bit of time you spent at home- way to go. Good luck back at work, you will be fine. Just think of your reward at the end of every day.

Go Mom Go said...

I won't lie and say it will be easy. BUT you will be OK. You definitely have enough love to go around. Keep the kleenex close and you will be ok. I will bet the kids even will understand!

Great post!

Michelle said...

Good luck! Just remember that the first day is the hardest, and it WILL get easier from then on in. It really will.

And congrats on the 10 hours! Woohoo!

kodiacbear said...

I been lurking around but just needed to comment on this one--Its all good. There IS enough love and you show it. Congrats on staying home and now good luck on going back to do what you love. Waiting to hear about your first day.

Try@thlete said...

Good luck for Monday!

Kurt said...

Cool post. It is good to see how attached you are to the critter and future Tarheel student.