Lifetime Fitness Triathlon 2011

Whew--I am back!

And it was super fun! And I have been told I will lose my Midwestern card because I didn't know what cheese curds were. And also, Minneapolis is HOT! Who knew?

Whirlwind weekend with Team Evotri this weekend in the Twin Cities! We headed out to do the Lifetime Fitness Triathlon. I had signed up for the Olympic waaaaay back before I had my stupid hamstring issues. I have to admit I was a bit nervous for this race, and definitely regretting not signing up for the sprint. But who travels to Minneapolis to do a sprint? That's not a very high mile-t0-race ratio. If I have to pack up the bike, I need to make the distance worth it, right? So the plan was to get through the swim, hit the bike hard, and somehow make it through the run.

Friday afternoon I touched down and we hit the expo and then had a tasty dinner at the Italian Pie Shoppe (yum!). I watched my teammates eat ice cream (since dairy does not do well with me the night before a race--especially if it's a hot one) and then we turned in.

The next morning Rural Girl was up and at 'em early so I was, too. We had some coffee and I tried to ignore the possible thunderstorms that would be hitting us. The heat and humidity was definitely not good for me, but I figured it wasn't a 70.3, so I could probably get through it without it being too much of a factor.

I lined up for the time-trial start and, hey! I've never done one of those before. I really liked it! I demand a personal start time for every race I do now.

(I keed!)

The Swim: Goal--get through it in a respectable time

Reality: Embarrassment.

So the lake was 83 degrees which made wetsuits illegal. That didn't bother me too much but I didn't have much open water training in so I was a little concerned if it was choppy. Nothing I haven't had in Lake Erie, I figured. What ended up happening was I muddled through, drank lots of water, had horrible form and dropped my legs every time I tried to sight, seriously thought the yellow triangle buoys were messing with me and started swearing at them, and came out in a very disappointing time. It's gotten to the point where I'm embarrassed to admit I have been swimming since I was 3. What was once my strength is totally my weakness. Arg. I'm not sure how to change this except swim more, which I know is not possible now. So, I'm going to have to make peace with being mediocre (at best) in the water, which frustrates me because deep down I know I'm better than that.

Sigh.

T1: I couldn't find my bike and ran down the wrong row, but that only set me back a few seconds I think. Other than that, I got in and out relatively smoothly.

Bike: Goal--break 20mph average and keep my watts up

Reality: 19.4mph average but I think watts were good! ( I'm having a problem with the software on my Mac and really need to call CycleOps for help--note to self, DO THAT TOMORROW.)

I had heard this was not necessarily a PR bike course but tried to kind of block that out and go for it anyway. Sure enough, the potholes were pretty rough in parts. I am used to that as I live in a city that gets a great deal of snow, too, but I gotta say it was pretty rough in parts. To my NEO peeps, it was like the Rocky River Valley Parkway, but worse. I could tell it was a pretty course but I didn't get to look much because I was so focused on the road. It was also a pretty technical course--lots of hairpin turns which zapped some of my mojo in places. For some reason, all 4 of my teammate's PowerTaps said that it was about 25.8 miles, which was odd.

But I really had fun out there. Once upon a time, I was early out of the water and then dead last at T2, getting picked off one by one. I gotta say I had an absolute BLAST on this course reeling people in. I picked off quite a few girls in my AG and only got passed by a few. Looking at my splits compared to the rest of my AG, I had a pretty good ride! I've really made serious progress here.

T2: Nothing too eventful--I found my rack faster this time, yay me!

The Run

Goal: Get to the end, hopefully somewhere around a 9:15 average and ideally not walking

Reality: 9:18 average pace

To say I'm disappointed in my running this summer is an understatement. But I have to face the music: I am injured. It sucks. I hate it, and I'm trying to fix it, but I don't want to shut down this season so I'm just going to keep going the best that I can. Normally a good day for me is to do an olympic race 10K in around 50-51 minutes. Today I was pleading for 57. I told Matt it would be a miracle if I was holding 9:15s, so to finish close to that is good. I guess.

(It still stinks, but whatever. I know I'm my own harshest critic.)

I haven't ran more than 5 miles since the marathon. I wondered how badly this would hurt, but figured I'd just HTFU and get through it. I didn't fly all this way to walk.

The first loop wasn't TOO bad--I was holding around 9 minute pace, actually, and was pretty happy about that! But then it started to really hurt, and I felt my stride get shot to hell. I took my wee little baby steps and just counted the steps to focus on something else besides sucking. I did kick it at the end and then was toast. I don't do well in humidity and heat and it was definitely pretty hot and humid, although arguably could have been MUCH worse! I was so happy to have a nice cold towel from the volunteers. Best idea ever! And my awesome teammate Rural Girl WON her age group! She's a machine, people. A MACHINE.

Time: 2:55.00

Place: 21/47 AG

Significantly off my PR. That's okay, I guess. I would have loved to have a better race but I knew I was not really ready for that.

What I Need to Do:

1. NEVER a spring marathon again if I hope of having a decent tri season. I'm not cut out to only run run run run and stop all things tri, and then beat the crap outta myself in May, and still be able to hammer hard in the summer. LESSON LEARNED. Half marathon in spring = OUTSTANDING. Full marathon in spring = BUNK.

2. More open water and either make peace with my swimming situation or change it.

3. Get over this injury somehow so I can have decent runs in my next two races. I'll be doing a sprint in 2 weeks and was hoping to do an olympic in late-August. It would really be nice to go faster than my previous easy-long-run pace.

Last night we had SO much fun at an awesome place called the Chatter Box Cafe--I got super excited because they had old-skool Nintendo games! Bonus! And I got to hold Baby Henry, who is so cute I wanted to eat him up. I also got to see quite a few of my teammies which is always SUCH a blast. I really wish I got to see them more often! And we even topped it off with some Izzy's Ice Cream (YUM!) and I got to see Mike and Rachel, two super cool people. Wish I had more time to see more of the Twin Cities Tri peeps--there are so many of you out there! Loved your cities. It's really nice up there!

Oh, and I had some fried cheese curds. And also discussed the merits of Greg Gagne and Kent Hrbek. And said "that's what she said" a lot. And pretty much laughed for 48 hours straight.

Back home and snuggled lots with Bug and Bean! Time to get ready for the next race. It's good to feel like a triathlete again!

A Very Exciting Week

So I ran yesterday, and it went well. Which bodes well for the race I'm doing Saturday...maybe I can actually get through the run in one piece! Yahooyippeeeeeeee!

I can't WAIT to race this weekend. This is the first summer I haven't had a 70.3 looming over me and I definitely needed it. I love to race but knew that cutting back was going to be a smart plan, and even though there are moments when I think hey-maybe-I-could-do-Rev3?-I know that YES, I could do it, but I do not HAVE to. And that has been a nice feeling. I am excited to just enjoy a few races this summer and then wait until I really want something longer (which, who am I kidding, will probably be Rev3 half next year).

And on a completely unrelated note, I got my AP scores online today. I have to admit I really wasn't sure what this bunch would do. We all felt confident about the DBQ, though, and I crossed my fingers and hoped we had all done the other work for the rest of the test.

I am a big geek for this, but here goes: the scores were so good that I cried. Literally teared up. The best they've been in the 4 years I've been doing this. Out of 39 kids that took the test, 24 got 4s or 5s.

Proudly wearing my geek badge,

TST

Pretty much the coolest thing ever

YOU GUYS!

The coolest thing happened on my ride today. I am so excited.

So first off, I should preface by saying I was initially bummed out about my ride. I couldn't find anyone around who could go at the time I needed to and close enough to home (since this weekend is full of superfuncraziness) so I reluctantly settled on going myself. I felt all sorry for myself for a bit. But then I thought, hey, this could be an adventure! And adventures are fun. So I turned that frown upside down.

After a few mojitos too many last night after a long day at the beach and a picnic with friends, my tummy felt like poo. I was afraid I wouldn't even be able to ride at all! But luckily, I felt SO much better when I woke up. It was crazy humid, so I took some extra water and a salt tab or two. I also realized that I was out of Gu Chomps.

PSA to those of you with kids: swipe a bag of your kid's Annie's Bunny Snacks in a pinch for good riding food. They worked swimmingly!

Started out on the lake and it was just a beautiful morning. The lake was super calm and the sun was coming up. I chased my shadow for a bit and was in a headwind but was still pretty impressed with the pace I was holding. Then I felt a few drops. But the sun was out! Bizarr-o. I was trying to figure out if, in fact, it was really raining when I saw this:

And then I decided that yes, it was raining. And rainbows are awesome.

Kept on truckin' along until I made it out to Lakeview Park in Lorain. I stopped to refill my bottles at this really nice little brunch place/beach house, and a sweet little older fella and I got to talking about biking. He loved to ride and suggested to me that I try a trail--"it's 3 and a half miles--ONE WAY," he said winking--and I put on my most impressed face I could and said I would love to try it!

Headed back home and about 10 miles out, a guy passed me at a light. He looked super fit and had a full Pearl Izumi kit on. I knew he was no joke so I figured he'd be gone, but lo and behold, we were about the same pace. I sort of hung back for a while because I didn't want to be that creepy chick who hangs in your draft and mooches, so then I eventually passed him. A few miles later, he passed me back but we started talking.

Turns out he lives in ST. PAUL, Minnesota and is in town visiting his mom for the weekend!

Oh, it gets better.

He's ALSO doing Lifetime next weekend!

How freaking cool is that?!

So we talked all about the race and shared some tri stories. Turns out he's done tris for over 25 years (puts my approaching 10 year anniversary to shame!) and qualified for Clearwater 70.3 Championships at Branson last year! So basically, he's crazy fast and I'm lucky I could even hang with him. So I made a St. Paul buddy here in the NEO! We said we'd try to find each other next weekend (but I know it's a big race) and went our separate ways.

I finished a smidge over 2 hours and with 40 miles (had to make it an even 40 so I went to the end of my street...ain't no way I'm gonna let that PowerTap say 39.7 or some lame shizz like that). Came back home and was all smiles.

Sometimes a nice long solo ride is just what you need. And I even made a buddy or two and saw a rainbow!

Off to Minneapolis on Friday! I am gettin' pretty excited.

Happy 4th of July to my USA homies!

Some Love for the Little Races

Thanks for letting me vent on the last post, and thanks for all the very thoughtful and interesting replies. That was some good ol' fashioned virtual conversation, there. I hearts the internets.

Anyway, since I was Little Miss Pissypants in my last post regarding Ironman Wall Street (borrowed that term from a friend--I think it fits pretty well!), I thought I'd take a second to give some love to the little races. Local tris are really, for me, the spirit of triathlon. The ones where you can just drive right up and park next to transition...where nervous newbies rack mountain bikes...where the RD is walking around with you to make sure everything's a go. Aside from being significantly cheaper, these races just have a feel-good vibe about them that is, in my humble opinion, everything that tri should be about. I love love love that my teammate, TriCajun, puts on a local race in Louisiana, and really wish I could get down there. This is the first year in quite a few I haven't been able to make WIBA, which is another example of the spirit of triathlon wrapped up in the most fun weekend you'll have with friends. The spirit is still out there, my friends. Don't lose hope yet.

That being said, there's a few fabulous races here that I'm planning on doing. Rick puts on some great races at NCN and even has the coolest policy ever: volunteer for a race, and earn a free race entry. He even has a race transfer policy that is pretty much awesome: if you get hurt or sick, you can do another one of his races ANYTIME. So last year, right about this time, I had my almost-a-stress-fracture-holy-crap-now-what?! situation and I had to back out of the Huntington Triathlon. I was super bummed, but I knew that at least I could transfer my race entry to another NCN race. I was planning on cheering on the EvoKids anyway, so Rick said, hey, how about you volunteer and earn another race? Bonus! So I'll be cashing in on both of those races this year! I will be doing the Huntington Sprint and the Lorain Tri--probably the Olympic, but we'll see how things go.

(Side note: My hamstring issues are slightly better, but still not great, so I'm trying to take it easy. Lifetime should be quite interesting, seeing as I haven't ran more than 5 miles since the marathon! All in favor of rolling the dice raise your hands!)

Another super awesome top-notch race is the Greater Cleveland Triathlon. This race pretty much is everything I heart about triathlon. A kid's race, a sprint, and an olympic in a beautiful beach east of C-Town with a very hometown, newbie-friendly vibe. Plus, the RD Mickey is one of the coolest guys ever. The run is an out-and-back so you can see all your buddies, which is always fun. I did the sprint last year and am hoping to do it again this year, but it's the day of Matt and my 7th anniversary (awwww!) so I'm not exactly sure what our plans are. Nonetheless, it's a FABULOUS local race and another example of what the sport should be about.

This August is also my 10th anniversary of doing my first tri. I can now say I've been in this sport a decade. What started as almost a dare between two college buds became quite a lifestyle change that led to me dropping about 35 pounds, getting healthy, and meeting some of the coolest people in the universe. Although I may not be crazy about all the directions the sport is going, I give a standing ovation to the local races and all the triathletes out there giving it their all, no matter what they ride, what shoes they are wearing, or what compression socks they might have.

So even if you're doing a big huge race, be sure to give the local guys and girls some love. Volunteer. Race. Cheer. Bring your kids and show them what a triathlon's all about. Spread the tri-love. I look forward to being in this sport for at least 18 more decades and hope you will, too.

And pardon me, while I step up on this soapbox...

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

$895? For a race? And it sold out in ELEVEN MINUTES?

*bangs head against the wall*

SHAME on you, WTC. SHAME.

And shame on the fact that there are apparently enough people willing to shell out over $900 in ELEVEN MINUTES to close out a race. I am sorry, but I gotta put my foot down on that one.

That is RIDICULOUS. END OF STORY.

Am I too poor for this sport? Is that where this is going? Because there is no way on earth I will ever participate in a race where the entry fee is almost $1,000. I don't come from that side of town.

And then what does this mean, really? That if you want to do a shiny, glittering Ironman race, you have to pony up your right arm, soul, and first born?

What is this sport about, anyway?

I tell you what, for me it's about hard work, persistence, dedication, and above all, community. A pox upon you, WTC. You may be taking your talents to South Beach here, but I sure as hell won't be.

/end rant/

Yes. That's it.

I've re-discovered something through all this running I did all spring.

Something was just missing.

Don't get me wrong...I loved running (most of the time) and really did enjoy pushing myself in the marathon. I tried my best to take setbacks in stride. I kicked my own butt on a daily basis, especially with those cursed Yassos. I dreamed big, and I went for it. And that was painful, but awesome.

But something was missing.

And over the past two weeks or so, I've found it.

I am, most definitely, a triathlete.

There's just something about the quiet calm of laps in the pool, the burning arms during a harder set, and 41 miles on a quiet morning with a friend.

Yes, that's better.

Exhale.

Another year, another season

Whew!

Up for air. Finally.

I am sitting at home in an empty house at the moment, which happens about, oh, twice a year. It's absolutely glorious. I have nothing on the docket today except to see my good friend's beautiful new baby boy and to head to graduation tonight.

Another school year, in the books!

I can hardly believe I've been doing this 12 years now. I really was a baby when I started. Barely older than my students.

You know what? I am so NOT barely older than my students now. And I LOVE IT. I love, love, love not being the "young teacher" anymore. I'm not quite a veteran, but I'm hovering somewhere in the middle. Or, let's be honest, the way things are going in my state I won't be able to retire until I'm about 80, so maybe I'm earlier in my career than it seems. There's a certain level of difficulty that automatically comes with being a young teacher, and I'm very, very content to say that I'm past that now. It's kind of nice.

The end of school was loco. For a good reason, though. I dreamed pretty big back in January and wrote a grant for 15 iPads so that I could have my students create oral histories and "mini-documentaries" on different aspects of local history with the ultimate goal of having them end up here, on this super awesome app: www.clevelandhistorical.org Which you should check out. Although you may not find it all that interesting if you're not from Cleveland, but it's pretty freaking cool. All the content is user-created with oral histories narrating the story of various landmarks here in the NEO.

Never in a million zillion billion years did I think I'd get this grant.

Except I did!

Which is super amazing. But the equipment didn't come in until early May, so we literally had 3 weeks to throw together this project: learning the equipment and programs, scheduling and conducting 19 interviews, editing and selecting images from the Library of Congress or local archives, AND presenting. And grading. And....let's just say, my kids rose to the challenge, and although we had lots of bugs along the way, I am SO PROUD of what they created. They did awesome. If I get the permissions that I need, I'll post a few links here for you to see. I can't wait to continue this next year!

So now I'm getting ready to really get into a new tri season, but I've definitely had a few bumps on the road. My right hamstring (the one that seized up on me often during the marathon) has still been really tight. It's been bothering me when I'm running, so Coach Emily has really ramped me down. I'm hoping that with some continued yoga and easy runs, I can ramp it up back here soon. What fun is short course if I don't get to hammer?

That being said, not sure if that 5K in 2 weeks is in the cards. Eyeing one on July 4th, but not sure I could hammer it and still be okay for Lifetime. We'll see--a lot will depend on now this stupid hamstring feels.

In other news, I SWAM! And it sucked. But it should, for dear internet, I have not swam since JANUARY. Boooooo. That's no good at all. Really, someone needs to install a pool in my basement and then I'd be fine. Anyway, I still eked out 2000 yards, which is a reminder that I can wing it in the swim, however, just because I can does NOT mean that I should. I am looking forward to getting in the pool and open water here pretty often over the next few weeks.

I am getting my bike legs back a little bit, which is nice. And I have completely turned Ana into a riding buddy! I'm right--that girl will do just about anything. I may be creating a monster.

Looking forward to this bizarre thing called "free time," although after today I will have two little bugs running around and giggling like crazy, so I'm going to enjoy this rare solo quiet house while it lasts.

Happy Training!

What's Next?

I am SO! ANTSY!

That's what.

Taking some time off always makes me remember how much I love these sports. Whenever I was pregnant, I would miss anaerobic stuff like none other. While I'm running around a track teetering on the point of puking? Not so much. But take it away from me, and I remember how much I enjoy it.

Since November, really, I've been running running running and it's been great and all, BUT....

...TST is a triathlete, yo.

So it's about time I start acting like one!

This is also the first year in 6 out of 7 years (lost one season due to being pregnant with Bug) that I will NOT be doing a 70.3. I knew it was time for a break. I do love that distance and, like the marathon, feel as if I'm now confident and experienced enough to actually race it. I know I'll be back. But I felt like I needed a break from it so that I could continue to love it, and not resent it. I know that I made the right decision, because I am so so so so excited to get back out there and am looking forward SO MUCH to what for me will be an attempt to go back to the roots and hammer the short(er) stuff this summer!

Now bear with me. Remember--seven years, people. Seven years since I really focused on short course. So I'm sure I'm going to fall flat on my face a few times.

BUT I CAN'T WAIT!

Here's what I'm looking at:

5K on June 26th--it's in memory of a former student who was killed in action in Iraq. I would love to do this, and I think it's about time I get a new 5K PR. (My current is 23:43 which came 6 or 7 years ago and I know I can do better) My only concern is that it might be too soon after the marathon to give that a legit go, but we'll see how recovery shakes out in the next week or so.

Lifetime Oly: July 10th. SO EXCITED for my team race and to see all my teammates and Baby Pharmie, too! Can't WAIT!

July 24th: Huntington Sprint literally down the street from my house (It pays to live on Lake Erie) This is a free race I earned from volunteering while preggo. Local and lots of friends--would like this to be a hammer fest, too (do you see a trend here?)

August 21st: Sprint or Oly--could see what I feel like later--also nearby and also free from volunteering--yahoo

September 11: Thinking about a half marathon with Matt, Ana, and my other friends Rob and Sarah. I've done it before--the course is super fast (slightly downhill point to point) and it would be nice to try and go low 1:40s

September 24: Dances with Dirt Trail Race Relay--just going to have a great time here!

So that's the plan so far. For now, I need to stop eating everything in sight (Cinnamon Toast Crunch! It tastes so good when it HITS YOUR LIPS!), and focus on actually resting and recovering and all that stuff. Oh, and get this! I think I talked Ana into riding with me this weekend and possibly doing the Huntington Sprint in July! I can talk that girl into anything! Skinny skiing? Bullfights on acid?

(That's a Caddyshack reference, in case you missed it. Matt will be so proud. Anyone catch the Old School reference, too?)

Happy training to all!

Winner! Deshler Designs Giveaway

How about some super fun news for a Thursday?

We have a WINNER in the Giveaway for some hair candy from Deshler Designs!

And.....drum roll please....

COMMENT #3! That is HEATHER, who said "Thanks for putting this out there!"

Congrats, Heather! Please send your headband choice and contact information to Emily at:

emily@deshlerdesigns.com

To everyone else, thanks so much for entering and hopefully you'll head on over to Emily's site and pick out some new hair candy anyway...I know I will! Summer's coming and this hair needs to get the heck out of my face, stat.

Happy Thursday!

On Risking It

"So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's A Great Balancing Act."--Dr. Seuss, in Oh, the Places You'll Go! and me almost every night when I read this book basically by heart

"Yeah, you know, technically I'm not even really supposed to be here right now. So f-- it...might as well make the most of it." --Eminem, Cinderella Man, the first song to come on my iPod when I put the headphones on at Mile 14

I've had a little more time here to think about everything that happened on Sunday and why I am still so happy about it. I know it sounds strange. Conventional wisdom would say that one should not be happy unless things are a PR, right?

But occasionally, for me, racing isn't all about time. It is a lot of the time, but for me it's also about more than that. I mean, seriously. I'm not winning these things. If it was all about time for me, I would have thrown in the towel a long time ago.

Sometimes in our little circles, our little stories, our little heads, we forget how amazing it is that we can do these things to our bodies. That we choose to have this pain; that we choose this fight. That many of us do in a morning what most people do in a week. I know I forget that sometimes.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself. And Self? You've done some great things. It's okay to relax every once in a while.

In the past ten years, I've done somewhere in the ballpark of 20-30 sprint and olympic distance triathlons, countless 5Ks and 10Ks, I don't know--6 half marathons?, 5 full marathons, 5 half-ironmans and 1 Ironman. And I haven't won any of them.

That's a lot of stuff to do, too.

Sometimes I forget that this in and of itself is a pretty big deal. And I chose to do all of it. ALL of it. I put myself through what it took to get to all of those start and finish lines by choice.

I say this, because the night before the race I found out someone I know who has two little children--one just a few months old, and a little boy just a few months younger than Jackson--was given 2-4 years to live. Cancer.

Two to four years to live.

It made my heart sink, and I thought what it must be like for her to have gotten this news this past week. For her husband to get this news. To know that she won't see her daughter's first day of kindergarten. Or her son's little league games. Or her 15th wedding anniversary.

Somehow, my little saga, my self-created struggle, seemed rather insignificant.

I had been mulling in my head my options all week. What if I played it safe? Ran with the 3:50 group--an 8:46 pace--which I was completely positive I could handle? Clock myself down a few more minutes and chip away at the PR a bit?

Or what if I just went for it--3:40, knowing that I didn't get in the miles I wanted to....knowing what that might mean later in the race? This spring has been, to put it mildly, pretty awful for me. To get in the miles that I did required a minor miracle. And I knew that my long runs were not as numerous as they had been in the past. That the marathon is a huge nasty gorilla who will either tolerate you being in its presence, or grab you by the hair and bash you against the wall, depending upon the day. You never quite know until you're in the middle of it.

I thought of her, of this news she just got this week. And that sealed it.

3:40 for sure. I choose this risk. I choose this pain. I choose to do this because it reminds me of how much joy I get when I push my body beyond the limits I set for myself.

I fully understood and accepted what the outcome would be. Either I would do it, puke, and collapse at the finish line, or I would try and absolutely blow up.

Either way, my sun would still come out tomorrow.

____________________________________

There's really not much else to say. I could go mile by mile, but you'd probably laugh out loud. It's actually kind of funny to see my mile splits. Just looking at my mile splits, you would deduce that no one has ever ran a more stupid marathon than that chick. And on paper, this was not a good race for me.

But I do believe that this, in fact, was a good race for me. It reminded me why I do this, and that I have, in fact, come so far from where I started.

In this race, one where the wheels started to fall off around mile 12 and were completely rolling behind me by mile 14, where my first half was right on pace and my second half was horribly painful and slow, I still ended with a 4:05.

4:05.

As short as three years ago, I did not think I was capable of a 4:05. I have now reached the point where my horrible marathon--my worst-case-scenario marathon--is a 4:05.

That alone is kind of blowing me away right now.

I thought of quitting. As we ran through downtown all I could think of was why, why whywhywhy did I not sign up for the half? I am in fantastic half shape. I could have knocked this half out of the ballpark. But my right hamstring was already seizing up on me by about the half marathon point, and I knew then that it was not going to happen today.

Part of me wanted to stop.

I was ready to stop when I saw my family. They were going to be somewhere around mile 17. I was ready to just collapse in a heap when I got there and be done so that it didn't hurt any more.

But they were early. They caught me off guard. And I couldn't stop then. They gave me the encouragement to keep moving forward.

So move forward, I did. Slowly, painfully, but I vowed I would make it somehow to the end.

At mile 18, I stopped at the medical tent. At this point, I was stopping to stretch my hamstring about every half mile or so. Each time I would say in a hushed whisper, "come on, hammy...come on hammy, hang on..." But it didn't seem to be listening. The two guys in there gave me a few stretches to try so I did.

"Do you need any help? Are you sure you want to keep going?"

Yes. Yes, I am.

Miles 18-25 had pain in almost every step. I was so glad at least I threw my iPod in the race belt at the last second, so I tried to step with the beat. I just kept thinking about how pain is good, how I feel just fine!, to block out the pain in my hamstring and the one slowly developing in my right knee.

Somehow I can salvage this race. I can learn something here. I can show myself something here, wrapped up nicely in this disaster.

The last thing I wanted to do was to go to school the next day and tell my students I quit. The very thought made me tear up. I didn't want to say it to Jackson, either. And I really didn't want to let my teammates down. I felt like I already had a bit, as I know they were rooting for me and for most of them this stuff comes much easier than it does for me. I wanted to be the success story that they were hoping for.

Maybe I still could be.

The last two miles hurt so badly. I had already watched the 3:50 group come and go after making a desperate attempt to latch onto them. Then the 4:00 group came. I tried, but had nothing. But I reminded myself that I chose this pain. I knew this might happen. This was not mental, this was physiological. I knew I hadn't done what my body would need to do to run a 3:40. Many, many people can get by on a lot less than I can, but this confirmed that for me to do this time would require somewhere in the ballpark of 50-60 mile weeks, minimum. Multiple 20+ mile runs. No triathlons, because I wouldn't have time to do anything but run, breathe, teach, and raise two children. And even then, there's no telling what the gorilla might do. But that would be what it would take for me to have a shot at it.

And about mile 25 I made peace with that. I made peace with the fact that I cannot do that right now. No, actually that's not really right. I will not do that right now. This is my choice. I am happy with it.

And it was like a big weight was lifted off of me. The gorilla let go and stopped bashing me in a bit. I high fived all the kids I saw. I stopped and chatted with a former student at the last water station. I screamed like crazy at my two friends on the corner of East 9th and St. Clair.

The weather was just the same as Ironman Wisconsin. Almost exactly the same, down to the wind and rain and 53 degree temperatures. It didn't rain much the first 3 hours and just misted which was actually pretty nice, but that last hour it started to really come down, and I remembered that finish line that day in Madison.

In short, I remembered why I do this. Because of how fun it is, and how alive it makes me feel.

I ran down that finisher's chute, with a smile on my face and a hard-fought, well-earned 4:05 finish. And now I know. I know what I can do with the time I am willing to give. I know that setting realistic goals is probably the smart thing to do, but going hard or going home also makes a better story.

That reaching far too high is much better than not reaching at all.

I have absolutely no regrets about the way I raced this race. Don't let my splits and my 7:50 second mile tell you any differently. It was absolutely reckless. It was full of wonder. It was full of pain. It was something I am very happy not to even try again for possibly years. Because I can walk away from this and say, for the very first time, that I raced a marathon.

And that makes this story, in my book, a happy ending.

Happy!

No, really, I am.

Mostly that it's over. And I'm dry now! And not cold anymore. A 4:05 equals my second best time ever, and given the rotten weather I am even more okay with that.

But I'm very happy with the end result. I knew in my heart that this was just a bit out of reach, and unless things went perfectly, it wouldn't happen.

I have also decided it is about time to stop doing things I don't want to do.

I know I would have killed the half today. When you start having to stop and stretch at mile 14, that's a bad sign. I was ready to quit at mile 17 when I saw my family there, except they surprised me and saw me at 14. I figured I'd just gut it out and try to make it to the finish line.

I think I'll need more explanation later, but the short version is this: I said before I do believe I could qualify for Boston, but for me it would require a lot. A LOT. A lot of things would have to be sacrificed. I did sacrifice quite a bit this time, but not nearly enough. I will never, ever sacrifice too much time with my kids, time with Matt, or being the best teacher I can be. I have sacrificed all remnants of being a triathlete the past 4 months. I don't like it. Those are some pretty big jobs. There is only so much of me, and I did what I could.

Realistically, I should have tried for a 3:50 and I think I probably could have done that. But then I would have wondered, always wondered. Now I won't, and that makes me happy.

I'm also kinda like, why am I running fulls if I don't like to run fulls? The last mile was fun, mostly because I was TOTALLY hamming it up for the crowd. But the rest was very painful and not fun. I spent quite a bit of time stretching and talking with the guys in the medical tent at mile 18.

The bottom line is this: for me personally to get to Boston requires things I'm absolutely not willing to give. I don't regret attempting; now I know for sure. I will sleep better tonight knowing this. I would have wondered.

What kept me going was that I wanted to go to school tomorrow and not have to tell my students I quit. I also didn't want to explain to my own children that I quit. I am not a quitter.

But I am in a pretty good deal of pain right now. And unless I can devote what needs to be devoted for full marathons, I probably shouldn't do them. I'm not much of a fan of half-assing things.

So I can't wait to hammer Lifetime this summer with my team, get in the pool, ride my bike again, train with the kids this summer for the tri, and absolutely KILL half marathons for a bit.

Pictures to follow, but my family is amazing and I was so lucky to share this race with good friends, too.

Just What I Needed

I’ve said before how I’m not very good at slowing down, so you can imagine how much fun I have when it’s time to taper. Yeah. SO pleasant to be around! I’m either gasping and saying “is that a weird pain in my ankle?! Maybe it’s plantar fasciitis! Or a torn ligament! Or DYSENTERY!” or I’m lamenting how huge and slow and sluggish I feel.

So when I saw a little 30 minute run on the docket I thought, just 30? Really? Because if Matt had a say in this it would be about 3 hours and 30 minutes.

(The patience that my husband has, especially with me during race week, is UNREAL.)

We had a storm and then the sun came out just in time for a sunset, so I headed out.

I was supposed to do 4 pickups for 45 seconds to half marathon pace (which for me is about 8 or just under) and after a mile or so I got into them.

I had to really hold myself back. I found that my instinct was to go low 7s.

What?

Then, I was convinced the Garmin was lying to me. The battery was low; surely this was NOT TRUE. I was so convinced that I went to MapMyRun.com just to be sure that distance was really what it said it was.

I knew it would be wrong.

Except, it wasn’t.

I ran just 3 short little miles, but at a pace that felt so natural and easy and even slow to me. Like I was out for a leisurely stroll.

And it was 8:30.

8:30.

ME.

Needless to say, this was definitely what I needed to see.

I don’t know what is going to happen on Sunday, but I just sort of have this calm sense that’s been winning out over the freak out sense, that says I’ve done everything I can possibly do, and deep in there, I can do this.

I think this was my body’s way of reminding me that. That I’ve been here before; that I’ve been scared, that I’ve been reaching for something I actually said before I could never do, that I wondered if I could even do it.

And I did it. I fought like hell, but I did it.

I am starting to really believe that if I can just keep my head in my own head and in each moment--each mile--then I have got this.

Wait...now it's my turn?!

My kids were freaking out. ALL week. Freaking out, wondering if they did all they could. Frantically asking questions about the Gilded Age and Marbury v. Madison and the Peggy Eaton Affair and the Tariff of Abominations and the Great Society.

All week I said REPEATEDLY, "You guys will be FINE. You have to TRUST YOURSELVES. You have to believe that you did everything you could and you prepared the best you could, and whatever they ask you just believe that you are ready and go with your gut."

And then they had their test.

And they were fine.

Happy, even! Giggly. And some even told me thanks for getting them so ready.

Ahem. Perhaps I have a thing or two to learn here.

Because now that their test is over? Holy CRAP MINE IS NEXT SUNDAY.

It's here.

And I'm starting to get a little nervous.

Okay, okay. A LOT nervous.

I do sort of have this calmness, though, too. I swing between being nervous and thinking OMG WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO and you know what, self, you are going to be fine.

Every once in a while I'll have this wave of "it'll-be-fine-ness" rush over me, too. I think about what it will be like to cross that finish line, no matter what happens. I know I'm the leanest and fittest I've been in quite some time. I remember that I am running stronger now than I ever have, and now's as good of a time than ever to go for this crazy goal. The worst that could happen, in the scheme of things, isn't the worst thing ever.

Sometimes I just have this feeling like I'm going to do it.

And then I swing to ACK! again.

I have a feeling this is how it's kinda going to be for the next few days.

How about a GIVEAWAY?

Hi!

I am very excited to host my very first giveaway EVER here in TriSaraTops land!

Remember back when I told you all about Emily's awesome headbands at Deshler Designs? Well, she has been gracious enough to give away a FREE headband of your choice to a fabulous blog reader out there!

I'm telling you--these things are awesome. I have SO. MUCH. HAIR. and they never fail me. Plus, they are super cute. Guys, if you have a gal in your life that loves to be active, you should enter, too! You'll score major points. I promise.

Here's the scoop:

Giveaway: Free Non-slip hair band from Deshler Designs! (www.DeshlerDesigns.etsy.com)

You have SEVEN ways to earn chances towards a free headband!

1. Become a follower of my blog: www.trisaratopsimadventure.blogspot.com
2. Follow Deshler Designs on Facebook @ www.facebook.com/DeshlerDesigns
3. Follow Deshler Designs on Twitter @ www.twitter.com/DeshlerDesigns
4. Heart/Favorite Deshler Designs on Etsy www.DeshlerDesigns.etsy.com
5. Make a purchase from Deshler Designs on Etsy after 5/1/11
6. Tweet a link to this giveaway
7. Post a link to this giveaway on your FB wall
   

So, you have up to 7 chances to enter the giveaway--it's that simple! IMPORTANT: Please leave a comment to this post for each entry you complete. Winner will be chosen from the comments left to this post on May 14th using the random number generator @ http://www.psychicscience.org/random.aspx .

Good luck, and be sure to swing by Emily's Etsy shop to check out all the hair candy!

The best laid plans...

Wow.

My spring break was pretty rough. Let's just say it was not quite as bad as my winter break, where all four of us got the stomach flu, but a very close second. I found myself crying quite a bit and asking for a "do-over." To say it was stressful and not relaxing at all is quite an understatement.

I'm supposed to run long today but couldn't do it this morning. Now I'm going to try and time it up with a naptime if I can, but it has to be alone. Boo. Good mental prep, I guess. Plus, I think I need some alone time after this week. Some people get mani/pedis...I go for 2 hour runs alone.

Despite most of my plans falling completely apart, I did manage to sneak out for a quick shopping trip with my Mom (holy J. Crew sales! I am the sale-rack master), a quick lunch with Best Friend, and last night actually got to use our tickets to see Jon Stewart which I thought for SURE were going to fall apart like every other plan we tried to make for this week. So that was good.

And summer is just a few weeks away--yahoo!

And boy am I looking forward to acting like a triathlete again. Running is fun but I know at heart I'm a multi-sport girl. I can't wait to get back on my bike and in the pool.

AP test on Friday and my big test two weeks from today! Now off to at least change for my run...if I'm wearing the clothes it has to happen, right?

Right?

Sigh...

Strong winds

Whew. I think I need a spring break from my spring break!

Things have not slowed down here--if anything, the pace got quicker, which will hopefully make up for my mileage slowing down.

So far I am feeling pretty good. It does feel weird to NOT have tons of miles on the docket, but I feel like I'm getting settled into what I need to do here, which is lots of stretching and focusing on nutrition. This is compounded by the fact that Reese's peanut butter eggs are now on clearance.

CLEARANCE, people. 75% OFF. You just can't walk by that and NOT drop a few in your basket.

(Good thing I have Matt around to help me out with that.)

This week had some flooding, a pretty long power outage (always fun with two little ones), and we also lost Matt's grandpa. He had a wonderful life and left a very close-knit, wonderful family as his legacy. He always welcomed me as one of his own and also got a kick out of my maiden name as my relation to a famous horse jockey is not something that everyone picks up on. It's kind of something only a few people really get, and usually from that generation. He used to call me Matt's "jockey girl," despite the fact that I have never once rode on horseback.

Because of these events, I've had to cut a few more minutes off some of my runs. But they've all felt great and I'm reminded what a fabulous stress relief endorphins can be.

This weekend I'll do a nice run with Ana and start to wind things down. Tuesday I ran 5 miles and it was sunny, but very windy. The pace felt comfortable despite the fact that it was faster than usual, and that was a good ego boost after the 20 miler I finished last weekend. The wind was strong, especially at the end, so I tried to pretend it was mile 25 and I was only going to make it by 10 seconds...which made the last mile the fastest of the five.

Two weeks from Sunday it's go time.

Some Hair Love

I've been meaning to give a shout-out for a while here to Deshler Designs. Emily runs the Etsy shop and she makes the BEST hair bands. Ever.

Seriously--I have LONG and very THICK hair with crazy layers and lots of wispies. They fly all over the place. Combine that with the fact that I'm the saltiest, nastiest sweater alive and I just figured I was doomed to have fugly hair anytime I did anything physical. Because I start sweating IMMEDIATELY, people. And I could never find a band that would actually hold my hair back. Well, I take that back--I could find bands at the drugstore, but they never, EVER stayed put. Goody StayPut? Yeah, I'm talkin' to you. FALSE ADVERTISING, yo.

And when I wore those dumb bands, they would just slip around and annoy me and generally drive me insane throughout the whole workout.

But Emily's bands? They stay put. SERIOUSLY. These things do not move, and they do not tug on your hair. I honestly didn't believe it until I tried them. Plus, she has lots of super cute designs.

Now that I have pseudo-bangs, I definitely like the thicker bands for long runs, but the skinny bands are also great, too! You may have heard of "Sweaty Bands," but I promise you Emily's are just as good and CHEAPER, too! Her thick band went with me on my 20-mile run yesterday and made it all the way through without moving one bit. I am sold!

So long-haired girls, rejoice! And go pick out some hair candy. Consider it an Easter gift to yourself, and tell her TriSaraTops sent you! :)

Happy Easter, everyone!

That was hard.

All of it. This week.

Was hard.

Really, really hard.

I don't know what to say without sounding like I'm whining. I hate whining. So I'm just going to say what I'm thinking in the hopes that it's not coming out like whining, but is coming out factual.

I got my butt handed to me this week.

Last weekend's long run (which was 6 days ago, actually) took a lot out of me. This week was rough at school, so even my rest days were not really rest days. I don't think I really got to recover enough, but such is life. The show must go on. I focused on good nutrition and attempted to get some sleep, despite having two sick little ones early in the week.

The routine was off, and I let it get to me.

I focused on negative energy that was hitting me this week, and I did not have my head in the right place. Not Tuesday, not Wednesday during my Yassos that left me in an exhausted heap on the floor after they were over, and certainly not today.

I had to do my 20 miler alone for a myriad of reasons. Mostly because it needed to be a) early b) near my house and c) Ana was gone.

It was supposed to look like this:

5 miles warmup

5 miles MRP

2 miles @9:00

6 miles @MRP

2 miles cooldown

It looked like this:

5 miles warmup cursing my Garmin for losing satellites and leaving me hanging

5 miles MRP where I needed to stop 2 times and lose my marbles

2 miles: one at 9, one at MUCH slower

1 mile trying to get to MRP and not coming close

7 miles very, very slowly and with many stops--2 to refill bottles (I drank 60 ounces in this run!) and one to sit on some guy's rock in his front yard and put my head in my hands

Total miles: 20

Average pace: 9:00/mile

Pathetic stops and self-doubt: much

I need to do a few things:

1. Eat a bigger breakfast. Clearly my one-packet of instant oatmeal is NOT cutting it at all.

2. Try to recover more. Sleep is a huge issue for me, and it was even more so with my kids being sick Sunday-Tuesday and with school dumping quite a load of stress on me this week. Simply put: I did not sleep much this week, and it killed me.

3. I need to surround myself with positive ideas and not negative.

Looking back at the plan, I did some solid cross-training on top of 37.1 miles ran with my overall average for those miles at 8:49. That is huge for me. I hate to say this was NOT a good week. That is a huge week for me and the fact that I'm able to do that is a huge improvement.

I think this solo run was good for me. It was good to be alone, to bonk alone, to feel how bad that sucked alone, so that I don't have to feel that again. I learned quite a bit about what I need to do here the next 3 weeks. And most of that work needs to be done in this big thing on top of my shoulders.

I am done with this week. I am ready for a week to recover mentally more than anything here--to actually, finally rest. I'm off school until May 2nd and I am hoping this will do wonders for my sleep and stress levels. Of course, when I get back the AP test is that Friday, but I feel like I needed to get those kids to the Election of 2000 before break and I did. It was crazy fast and stressful, but I did. The rest is up to them now. I told them they weren't going to go from a score of 1 to a score of 5 in the four days when we get back. There's no cramming for this test; either you have done the work all year like you were supposed to, or you didn't. End of story.

The same is true for me. I know I have done everything I possibly could. The hard work has been put in the bank. Now I need to really focus on fixing my mistakes from this week, believing in myself, and moving forward.

Another one in the books

...but, not gonna lie, this one hurt a lot. I definitely had to earn this one.

18 miles (actually 18.15 if you count what it took me to get to Ana's house)

Average pace 8:54/mile

9 miles at an 8:22 pace

Very happy with the way this ended up, but man, did I struggle in the middle. I started the race pace stuff and was all, "hey! this is way easier than 2 weeks ago! i'm awesome!" which was quickly replaced by "DAMN this wind sucks and holy crap how am I going to do this until my Garmin says 14?!"

I had a slight meltdown at the 7th mile of the push, when a side stitch that had been driving me CRAZY finally got the best of me. I stopped, got a little hint of what might be considered tears, got ahold of myself, listened to Ana talk some sense into me, and gave myself a nice glass of HTFU. Then I got the last two done and did 4 more at a VERY easy pace to cooldown.

I do kind of wonder how the sam hill I'm going to hold that pace for longer. But I'm trying to remember that this is what taper is for; that I won't be doing Yasso 800s 2 days before the marathon, that the AP test will be over and maybe for the love of all things holy I'll be able then to get more than 5 hours of consecutive sleep. (Since I will have that lifted off my shoulders--I swear I'm more nervous for this test than the kids).

Came home, showered, took a very painful ice bath where I yelped for 15 minutes, threw on some compression, and then did the grocery shopping/bike around the block-ing/swingsetting all afternoon. Man, am I toast. I think I'll be hitting the hay as soon as my kids do.

One more big week here. I need to stay focused and not let the "how the HELL am I going to do this for 26.2 miles" get the best of me. I've thought that before about my race pace and it happened, so I need to really just believe that I can do it again and trust all these miles I've put in.

Home stretch. Less than a month.

I can do this.

Burp Yasso

Last night I had a slight freak-out, which was prompted by an ice-cream sundae.

See, I have had a pretty nutso few weeks at work here with the AP test coming up the WEEK AFTER our Spring Break (awesome timing there. Yeah.) and frantically making a mad dash through the 1960s and 70s to hopefully get to the Election of 2000 and September 11, 2001. Considering we were just on WWII, you can imagine the pace we're flying at. It's seriously insane.

Then, a piece of one of my brown dress shoes broke off yesterday during class and I realized I do not have the time necessary right now to buy new ones. That will have to wait until I get at least an hour where I can go by myself to do a little shopping and also to replace the pilled-up, worn out clothes that have taken such a beating that I am still wearing. What Not To Wear would have a field day with me.

Then, last night after Matt returned a pair of Bug's too-big-soccer shoes to Dick's, he came home with my favorite Mitchell's sundae. It was very sweet. Except it was 9:30pm. And I was just about getting ready for bed. And I had one of the hardest workouts I'd ever attempted at 0500 the next morning.

But I felt bad. He knows I love ice cream. So I took a few bites. Just a few.

And then I started to lose my freakin' mind. I literally started hyperventilating and crying over a FEW BITES OF ICE CREAM. I couldn't believe I had eaten it. What, was I TRYING to make myself hurl the next morning? Really?! How could I have been so stupid?! The crying made me burp hot fudge burps, which in turn made me freak out even more.

Poor Matt just said he was sorry.

I knew this was my own fault and tried to relax. I think it was just the looming Yassos hanging over my head. I had to do them alone since Ana was stuck all week and the only time that would work for me would be to do them right after school or at 5am. I was hoping to convince Ana to meet me at the track at 5am, but she just couldn't. I checked with our track and lacrosse teams and sure enough, the track was all booked up until at least 8pm.

Ugh.

I didn't feel comfortable up at the track by myself at 5am since it's still dark until about 6:10 or so. So treadmill it was going to have to be. This also was messing with me because I felt like it wasn't "counting" if I didn't do these on a track. So I set the incline at 1% and vowed to really focus and make these count.

The plan was for "7 or 8." Well, when there's a higher number there then I feel like to take the smaller number is sorta selling out. So I went for the 8.

And lo and behold, a few bites of ice cream didn't completely do me in. All that wasted energy worrying, as usual, got me no where. In fact, I felt the strongest on these 8 at a 7:19 pace than I ever have. Ever. Even though these had a significant amount of recovery in between them, I still did 4 miles out of 8.75 at a 7:19 pace, which is good for the soul. And, worth mentioning, way faster than my current 5K PR pace.

(Perhaps this summer it's time to get a new 5K PR?)

I'm feeling better about the run this weekend. If I can get through this workout today and feel as good as I did, then I know I can get through this 18 with 9 at race pace. It's going to be tough, of course, but I feel like my body is kind of saying, "See? I told you so."

I just need to listen to it a bit more.

And perhaps to lay off the ice cream.

No Sleep: the TST Remix

During my morning run today, this song came on the iPod. I decided I needed to do a remix to better fit my lifestyle. Does anyone want to be my agent? I'm hiring.

Wiz Khalifa: No Sleep (The TST Remix, '11)

last night i let the disney get the best of me
waking up in the morning: two toddlers laying next to me
plus i heard an alarm clock beepin' me
teddy grahams and cold milk: that's the pre-bedtime recipe
runner, and we roll deep, so deep
it's going down in this treadmill: concrete
we gonna party all night: no sleep
tell the daddy them is all my gang
so tonight everything is on me

the nuun is on me
the clif shots, the hammer gel, the heed is all free
go long, i mean so long we gon' miss sesame street
tempo to a level where you gonna need your own key

(2x)
no treadmill, no sleeping
long run like it's the weekend
when the ipod play the right song
gonna run, gonna party all morning long

leave the playroom now they wanna stay with us
came to run them all, don't care what miles i'm paying for
used to be too young, now i'm out here trippin' on the toy cars
everytime i look up, it's another sippy cup
bunch of toddlers in the game but they ain't playing with us
they just laughin' enough enough
man them toddlers ain't meltin' down they just laying it up
saying they does, i'm just drinking some heed
on my way to the run
i can't wait for my run

so now i lace up cause everything is on me

the nuun is on me
the clif shots, the hammer gel, the heed is all free
get fast, i mean so fast we gon' see the whole street
tempo to a level where you gonna need some more speed

no treadmill, no sleeping
long run like it's the weekend
when the ipod play the right song
gonna run, gonna party all morning long

run all day
party all night
you say you wanna party
let's party alright

no treadmill, no sleeping
long run like it's the weekend
when the ipod play the right song
gonna run, gonna party all morning long

run all day
party all night
you say you wanna run
let's run alright

I am extremely snotty

I am fully aware that I am one snotty girl.

I mean, I have waxed poetic before about how entirely snotty I am.

It's really a problem. If you are around me long enough, you might be hit by my snottiness. Literally.

So today I could tell on my run that spring had officially arrived and I once again turn into a very snotty chick. It's very attractive. I'm getting pretty good at the ol' farmer's blow. Just watch out if you're behind me.

You know what? I just wasn't that into my run today. It was great to be out there in SHORTS! SHORTS! today, and Ana and I had some good conversation as usual, but we decided we were just kind of over it. Good thing it was a nice and easy long run before I throw in some more race pace stuff.

Speaking of which, I just saw next Sunday's run already. Gulp.

5 miles comfortable pace, 9 miles goal marathon pace, 4 miles comfortable pace.

I do believe she is trying to kill me.

So I have a full 7 days to wrap my head around that and get psyched up for it. Not psyched out. Which, I'm not gonna lie, is how I felt about five minutes ago when I looked at it.

If this was easy, everyone would be doing it. I signed up for this. Time to go hard or go home. These next two weeks are pretty damn important.

And another good history-related quote comes to mind:

"The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark."
— Michelangelo Buonarroti

I need to remember that I had the option to take the safe route, and I have made the conscious decision to ignore that.

And today, another milestone

My fastest 16 mile run ever.

Including 6 in the middle, and all but one between 8:14-8:16.

Very tough, but very solid. My hammy is barking at me, so I'm stretching like Gumby.

I'd have to say this was a nice little comeback week of training. Three more hard ones before taper.

Bring it.

Dreading and Owning

So I had this workout on the schedule...I saw it Sunday and kinda went, gulp.

That's gonna be hard.

I thought about it often this week. I kept thinking how it was going to be hard, and how I was going to really need to dig deep and focus.

Coach Emily wants me to do some Yasso 800s. It's an aggressive pace for me to hold for an 800, but then again, I'm going for an aggressive pace for me for 26.2 miles. So what I needed to do was hit a track.

Except we got a SNOWSTORM yesterday. A FREAKING SNOWSTORM.

Arg.

So track at 5:15am + snowstorm would not be a good idea. I opted for the treadmill...better than nothing.

This was my first attempt, so I was to do 5. I was supposed to start these before I got sick, so I'm definitely late to the game. But what's done is done--I have to look forward now. Coach gave me permission to do the first 2 at 8.1 mph and hold the last 3 at my required pace of 8.2 mph.

I know the tready is easier than the road, so I do know I need to get outside soon for these. But in the meantime, I decided to face the dread head-on. I loaded up the iPod with lots of new tunes and made a playlist entitled "ALL IN." I knew it would be handy while I was running staring at the wall the next morning.

I started to get pumped.

The alarm went off and I was ready. Bring it. I knew it would be a good run. I started and my warmup pace felt easier than it did on Tuesday...progress, noted.

Then I busted these things out.

The first 2 I did do at 8.1mph, and it was tough but doable. I did the next 2 at 8.2. Difficult. Done.

The last one I did at 8.3 since I felt guilty for being on a treadmill for these. It was very tough. But I put the Eminem on and really focused, and got it done.

So there's 5 Yassos. I need to work up to a few more, but it's a good start.

I was so pumped when I was done after the full 7+ miles that I did some upper body work, did one extra chin-up (yay!) but still workin' on those pull-ups...and even had time for breakfast, coffee, and a much-needed shower before work.

All day I've been in a good mood. I am feeling good. That workout made me feel good.

I'm starting to really believe.

BOO-yah.

12 miles, 9:04 pace, outside with Ana, felt GREAT!

THAT was good for the head.

Next week I'll be ramping back up to 16. Bring. IT.

Gonna go hydrate myself somethin' stupid now!

Seven Weeks

So I know it's been quiet over here.

Part of that is it's the end of the 3rd quarter. In fact, I have a pile of AP essays sitting next to me now begging to be graded. Sigh.

But part of that is that I just haven't quite known what to say.

I got ANOTHER infection last weekend. The doctor thinks it was a secondary sinus infection. Basically, I felt like butt. Headache that literally had me laying around like a slug (which works very well with two toddlers--my house looked like a tornado had come through) and begging for mercy with the most disgusting matter ever coming out of my nose. After a 5 mile treadmill run that literally almost had me in tears because how on earth was I ever going to run this pace again?, I cried uncle and called the doctor. She put me on antibiotics. I've taken it relatively easy over here--a MUCH better 5 mile run yesterday morning that even had me feeling like Rocky and busting out some pushups afterwards, but when it comes down to it....

I am still not 100%.

It's been over 2 weeks. Two very, very important weeks of training in a very, very important part of my marathon training plan.

To say I've been panicking is the understatement of the century.

Yesterday I lost it. I came home from work and was already bawling. Matt had no clue what to do with me. I just kept thinking how things were going so well, and this was my one chance...one chance before the times dropped down to what is darn near impossible for me, given my daily life responsibilities.

I felt like I was watching it slip away.

Emergency email into Coach Emily (who, by the way, kicked some serious ass at IM San Juan 70.3...she's pretty awesome like that). Basically saying something to the effects of:

Am I out of time?

Out of miles?

Do I give up? Do I drop to the half or do I readjust my goals and accept that this isn't in the cards?

She gave me a nice and much needed ass-kicking to the head. Here are some of the points raised:

1. There are 7 weeks left. There is still time to ramp up my miles. Not much, but enough.

2. What's the worst that can happen here? I blow up? So let's say I blow up. The sun will still come up on May 16th. The earth will continue to rotate on its axis. Life will go on.

3. She directed me to this article. Specifically, the part about Kara Goucher at the end. Is awesome. "I either need to be all in, or this isn't going to happen....my key word now is free...free of limits of myself, free not to do anything but run as hard as I can..."

I'm coming to terms with the reminder that this is, in fact, a MARATHON. There are NEVER any guarantees in a marathon. There is ALWAYS the chance you will blow up. There was before, and there still is now. These two weeks have not changed that entirely.

This has never, ever been easy for me. I am not the best athlete. I never have been. But what I do have going for me is a borderline irrational level of determination. I know that if I lined up on May 15th wearing a half marathon bib or standing by the 3:50 pace group, regardless of what happened at the finish line, I wouldn't sleep well that night. I would wonder. I would feel that I haven't given it my all.

That I wasn't all in.

The next seven weeks will be a true test of how far my heart can get me. I am going to have to work harder now than I was going to before. (And that was going to be pretty damn hard to begin with.) I am going to focus on just doing what I can do--letting these two weeks go, and focusing on the future.

And now I'm about to get all history on yo' asses. ;)

One of my favorite quotes that I always give my AP kids every year before they take their test--in a note I write to them with smarties stapled to it--is the one I had in my bento box the day I did Ironman almost five years ago. I think I need a refresher.

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." --Teddy Roosevelt

No one ever said this would be easy. Especially for me.

It's about damn time I freed myself from my own limits.

What To Do When You're Hit with the Flu

Maybe you've already been there. Maybe you haven't yet.

But trust me, you will someday.

Everything will be hummin' along just fine...training feels great, you feel great. And then one morning, your run seems a little harder than usual.

Hmmmm. That's strange, you think. I wonder why my heart rate was so high, or why I couldn't maintain that interval as easily as I could last week. Ah, well, it's probably nothing...

And then the next thing you know, BAM! For me, it was 103 degree fever and the flu.

Now, if you're anything like me, you're a Type-A triathlete who probably thinks, "No big deal! I can take an Emergen-C and everything will be FINE! I can totally still run (or bike or swim) long tomorrow like I have scheduled....cough cough WHEEZE."

The fact of the matter is, sometimes you get sick. Especially up here in Northeastern Ohio where March is undoubtedly the most unpredictable weather ever. Literally, one day is sunny and 62 degrees...kids are wearing shorts and flip flops, everyone is riding their bike outside, and I swear I even saw some girl sunbathing in her front yard after school. (We get a little excited at anything over 50 degrees here.) And the next? 12 inches of snow.

What to do, what to do?

Well, I'm going to write this to myself, here, because I am TOTALLY awful at following logical advice when it comes to training. I don't slow down well. But here I am, on day 5 in bed and finally feeling a bit like the old me again, so I'm going to give myself a few reminders. Hopefully, if any of you get hit with something nasty, you can find some advice here, too.

1. First of all, STOP. Seriously. You have to stop. No good, I repeat, NO GOOD will come if you try to continue hard workouts right now. A good rule of thumb I've always followed is that if your congestion is from the neck up, you can probably continue some light workouts (but keep them LIGHT!), and if it's from the neck down, you should rest. Chest congestion is nothing to mess with. Neither is a fever. As hard as it is (and believe me, I struggle with this one!), you have to take a few days and just rest and hydrate. Remember, you have a bigger goal here. Most training plans for endurance events last several months. Repeat after me: taking it easy for one week will not make or break a training plan. (And yes, I'm repeating that, too!) That leads me into point #2...

2. Don't let your head mess with you. Again, even with the nastiest of flus (which I am currently getting over), this is one week. I will be the first to admit that I was in full-fledged panic mode last Saturday. All of my friends were racing Saturday, running long Sunday, and my running partner had a good solid run. All without me. It was rotten. I felt like certainly I would never! race! again!, but after another day of thinking and looking at my training log, I was slightly reassured. I've put in a lot of miles to this point, and I still have a lot of miles to go until my big race in May. I've come to terms with the fact that things will somehow work out and be okay.

3. Think positive. For me, I read some of my favorite tri and running blogs while drinking orange juice. I spent time getting lost in Facebook land on the pages of my favorite tri-products, like SRAM, Specialized, Headsweats, Zipp, 2XU, and CycleOps. I looked at race registration pages for races I plan to do this summer, and signed up for my big team race at Lifetime Fitness. Another way to keep your eye on the prize is to pick up a new book related to your season. For me, I am reading "Training and Racing with a Power Meter" by Hunter Allen and Andrew Coggan. This has gotten me all geeked up for when I finally feel better and can hit those roads again! Another one I love is "Run Like A Mother" by Dimity McDowell and Sarah Bowen Shea. Anything that keeps your mind moving forward about how good you'll feel at races when you're healthy is a great thing to do right now!

So listen up, sicky (and yes, I'm talking to myself here)...this is NOT the end of the world. Get yourself another glass of water, pick up a good book, go register for that race you've been eyeing this summer, and remember, the sun will come out tomorrow. Even if the day after that you get snow.

Happy Spring Training, everyone!

The Doubt Monster

Lady Gaga has her "Fame Monster."

I've been noticing a doubt monster.

He creeps around every once in a while. Sometimes I see him when I'm getting ready for work. Sometimes he peeks his head from the corner of my disaster-zone basement when I'm running on the treadmill. For some reason, I think he's blue. And fuzzy.

And tonight, I swear he crept behind the door at Urgent Care when the doctor on duty told me I had PNEUMONIA. Effing pneumonia. No running for 1-2 weeks.

1-2 weeks?

Bodies have a way of telling you they have had enough, thank you very much. It's been pretty high-stress around here lately, and I think that along with my unwillingness to back off or budge on my training (despite coughing all week--oops) has finally caught up with me.

And now I'm staring the doubt monster directly in the face.

I know it's normal to be afraid sometimes. My attempt at a 3:40 will take every ounce of guts, blood, sweat, and tears I have. It is the upper limit of what I can do, and I know this. I might crash and burn. I've accepted that.

But now I'm wondering if missing 1-2 weeks right now, in what should be the thick of my training, is going to make it out of reach. And that makes me feel like I am giving up. And I hate that.

I'm wondering if I need to realistically re-examine my goals right now. Maybe it makes more sense to try for 3:40 in the fall. Hell, that's the magic number I need for what seems like forever. It's not going anywhere.

But then I feel like I'm giving up; admitting defeat. And that's worse than this stupid pneumonia that has me with a 102 degree fever and feeling like I've been hit by a semi.

I guess what I need to do is see how long it takes me to recover from this stupid thing. Maybe it makes sense to downgrade to the half. Maybe it makes sense to adjust my goal for the full.

Right now I wish this stupid doubt monster would leave me alone. And I just wish I felt like myself again--the one with a take-no-prisoners attitude, do or die, 3:40 or bust. I hope she comes back soon.

Lookin' Up!

Well, things are better than we thought.

Turns out most of the things that are NOT covered by insurance were able to be saved! TV is OK (whew). All our furniture we got after this happened the last time was able to be cleaned.

And my treadmill....TOTALLY!TURNED!ON!YAAAAAAAAY

It's still a disaster down there as is my house--it basically looks like Fisher-Price threw up everywhere--but it's gonna be okay. A little while until things get back to normal, but okay.

This week's workouts, however, were NOT okay. I kind of dropped the ball. Still managed three runs and one ride, but still not what I needed to do. Ugh.

So I was going to run with Ana this morning--a pretty specific run including 35 minutes at marathon pace. And then I got up to SNOW. AGAIN. Covering a lovely layer of black ice.

&**^^*(), @@@*&^)%!

We debated what to do. The black ice is what really stinks, as we just didn't want to risk turning an ankle. So we decided to run on the treadmill and indoor track at her gym. She said it opened at 7, so she picked me up at 6:55 and off we went. As long as we were back at her house by 9:20, we'd be good.

Except it was closed. She read the schedule wrong--7 on SATURDAY. Bummer.

We zoomed home and figured we'd give it a go. I couldn't BEAR the thought of another 2 hour session on the dreadmill. So we set out and it wasn't too bad! I wore my trail shoes to give me a little more traction and protection from the slush. We had to slow it down a bit and didn't attempt the pushes. But we still got 11.25 in before she had to run home, and held it right around a 9:10 pace. Alright, given the conditions.

Then I hopped on the treadmill and grabbed some trusty tunes to do the remaining 17 minutes I had left at 8:20 pace. It was tough and I was definitely tired, but I got it in.

When all was said and done, I managed 13.3 at just about a 9 minute pace. Not the workout I was hoping for, but one that is good money in the bank nonetheless.

Went to the zoo, looked at lots of monkeys and snakes, and now I am going to have some bonding with my couch and Toy Story 3.

Hope you stay warm if you're around here, and if you're not and it's warm out, can you please send some my way? I'm beginning to think this Groundhog was pulling my chain.