Tuesday, April 03, 2007

WOW.

I am amazed at the outpouring of well-wishes! Thanks! Man, there's a lot of people out there! Sometimes I forget this is public. :) Good people rock. I promise now that I don't have to lie anymore, I'll be writing more and commenting more, too! Just get me to spring break and I can get caught up....

Okay, as promised, here is what I've been writing the past 2 months or so. We'll go from the beginning and work our way on through.

Remember...don't laugh to hard at naive TriSaraTops. Laugh with me, please.

Okay, you can laugh at me. I already am.

_______________________________________________________________

From February 1, 2007.....

I would have killed to have a camera in my bathroom this morning. Just to see a replay of my face.

I didn't think anything of it...I'd already taken a few tests, but felt a little off somehow, so I thought I'd take one more.

PREGNANT

Wait.

Where's the "NOT?"

OMG.

There's no "NOT."

*stares into mirror. looks at test again. stares into mirror with eyes the size of saucers*

Oh my God I'm pregnant.

Am I ready?

I'm ready.

I'm scared.

Oh, God I'm really scared.

I'm so happy! I'm jumping! In my bathroom! Yahooooooooo!


I'm running down the hallway, pumping my arms Kirk-Gibson-style!

Now I'm staring in the mirror again.

This will change everything. This will change my entire life. It's not all about me and my time anymore. Ever again.

Can I do this and still be me? Sometimes I see some people who stop being them, and they get bitter and mad and upset.

I can't ever stop being a triathlete. Or a teacher. Somehow, some way, I'll need to be those things still. The theaters may change, but I need to be those things as much as I need to blink my eyes.

Some people do it every day, and they inspire me--my blog buddies, Lana and Michele never cease to amaze me, with time for family and girl friends AND training. Wil's a mommy...and a teacher...and a triathlete...I see lots of wonderful other people out there doing it, too. They make it work, somehow.

All day at school I had this goofy smile on my face. I know something you don't know, I know something you don't know....

I know you're not supposed to tell anyone for 12 weeks...and let me just tell you how much THAT rule is going to suck. Because when a miracle happens you want to talk about it, you want to scream, you want to laugh all stupid giddy and jump up and down.

And then for a second you get scared again.

But it goes away. Waves of scared, elated, scared, overjoyed...

I think this is an entirely different kind of nine month training plan. And I'm going to have to try really hard to get used to it.

But, WOW...is this finish line going to be amazing or what?

20 comments:

TriShannon said...

I just looked back and I had Strange Ironman Dream #1 around mid-January... I totally knew! You know the part of that dream I left off my blog. :-)

Donald said...

So apparently I'm one of the last to see this news ... but congrats. It will definitely change your life - but not in a bad way.

Comm's said...

good for you. will change your life.

Mallie said...

Sara...there's no laughing here. I don't think you have to give up you when you bring a new life into the world. In fact, holding on to you you will ensure a stronger baby, marriage, etc. Which you already know. I've got some great athlete mom role models around me, and I'm sure you'll be another one. Now send me the pics so I can get busy!!!

jbmmommy said...

Been there, and just in case you're wondering, everything you felt is completely normal- and valid. Yes, things will change. No, it won't ever be about just you again. But you'll find a way to do what's important to you, it took me a while to reach a balance, take whatever time you need. No one else can tell you what's right here- you'll know. Best wishes again for a happy, healthy pregnancy.

Wes said...

You've taken one more step on the path of learning what life is all about. Of course you can do this, and still be you. The choices you make are yours.

Curly Su said...

more, i want MORE

DaisyDuc said...

If only this little celebration had been videotaped because I envision is as being quite entertaining!

Geez, I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you trying to hold onto this secret as long as you did!!!

Flatman said...

Wow. Congratulations to you both!!!

You are going to be a stellar mom... :)

IM Able said...

Just think...you have 59 (and counting!) babysitters to help you out when need some sanity and grown up time!

Wil said...

THAT is totally what I did! A whole bunch of OMGing just over and over again... and then it sets in... and then you just OMG a little quieter ;) WHAT a blast this is going to be! You're really in for the best ride of your life sis. The best ever.

TriSonq said...

I am laughing WITH you, but you're going to make me pee in my pants!

Hilarious TST!

greyhound said...

The OMG-ing never stops. Just changes emphasis. Omg. O . . M. . . G . . .
omg
oM . . G.

Now, if you wanted to pump up Dad's ego, just mix in the Kurt Gibson fist pumping and high fiving after the fun "trying" part.

Bolder said...

i'm late to the celebration...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm so happy for you!!!

Habeela said...

OH MY GOODNESS!!!! What fabulous news! Now this makes writing your life in pencil MORE than worth it! CONGRATULATIONS!

walchka said...

Congrats again! You'll be adding your name to the list of rock star moms. Plus now I don't have to keep your secret. hehe

Kim said...

i can totally picture you laughing at yourself as you pump your fists in the air. wish matt had a camera! i would piss myself im sure seeing your excitement!

21stCenturyMom said...

After the 'scared, elate, scared, overjoyed' comes the baby followed by 'I cannot believe how much in love I am. I just didn't know I could feel this way about anyone...' It's the best!

Catherine said...

you're going to have to change the "race" day count-down watch on your blog!!
congratulations!

Joe said...

You should be able to keep exercising and competing but it will be different for sure and your priorities will change.

For example, if you're used to your husband coming to your races to cheer you on, you may have to modify your expectations. Even at age 6, my son is still not patient enough to stick around for a whole race or swim meet. So, sometimes my wife and son only come for a few minutes or sometimes not at all.

As for workouts, you'll still find the time but you'll likely have to more ad hoc workouts. For example, when I take my son to the playground, I will often do a strength and flexibility workout right there while he is playing. Monkey bars and things like that are great for chin ups!