Tuesday, April 10, 2007

From February 18, 2007....

And now, sports fans, is about when my body started giving me the proverbial middle finger. When it started saying, "Okay, CEMENT BLOCK HEAD, if you don't GET IT YET, then I'm a-gonna SHOW YA what's going on here. Whether you like it or not!"

The positive side here is that it seems to be almost done, now that I'm in week 14. THANKFULLY. I almost banged my head against the wall many a-time, but I just couldn't muster up the energy.

I'm back to working out 5-6 days/week (slowly and no more than an hour!) now, but it's kinda funny to look back and see how crazy NOT being able to work out made me.

Enjoy.

_____________________________

I am so tired.

But really...that doesn't even sum it up.

I guess I should consider myself lucky--there's no "puking my guts out" like it seems a lot of people have. I have sort of a low-grade nausea all day long, which at least is somewhat managable.

What would I rather have: puking for an hour or all day nausea and this tired?

It's really a toss up. Because, see, I don't "slow down" well. And this is FORCING ME to slow down.

Like, how much? Oh, to the tune of I can BARELY FUNCTION IN 7TH PERIOD CLASS ANYMORE, and I have to come home and TAKE A NAP almost every day. Which I hate. I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate because I PRIDE myself on being able to get out there and RUN when I feel tired--that it makes me feel better every time.

But I just haven't been able to do it. I can't even really get my workout clothes on.

I almost fell asleep on my stairs yesterday when I was trying to put my workout clothes on.

I don't know what to do! Matt's NEVER seen me like this. I told him, and I'm not exaggerating here (and I think he knows, because this is a whole new TriSaraTops he's seeing) that I was NEVER this tired during Ironman training. Not even in the worst weeks--the 8 hour brick followed the next day by a 15 mile-hilly-run, 20 hour weeks.

And I just don't know what to do to fix it. Except sleep.

It seems, from reading around, that it gets better in the 2nd trimester....? That the low-grade nausea will cease and I'll have my energy back....?

In the meantime, I'm feeling some more of that "mourning for my independance" as my weekly 10 milers I so look forward to and enjoy are nonexistant, and my friends all had such a great race yesterday at the Chili Bowl. I can't help but be just a teensy bit jealous.

I want to race.

I need to remember that the races aren't going anywhere. The road's not going anywhere. This will all be there when I get back. But it's just sort of hard right now, I think. This takes some getting used to. I've never really had anyone or anything tell me what I can and can't do. And I'm lucky in that sense...I need to remember my blessings and that I've had 29 years of MY way, MY choice, MY races, MY exhaustion.

I know this is one more little reminder that it's not all about ME anymore, nor ever will be again. And that what is going on inside of me will make it all worth it in the end....that I need to TRUST this fatigue and do what my body tells me to do.

Friday night I had so much fun with Matt at our inter-club social downtown at a brewery (me drinking water, of course). A bunch of the local endurance clubs were there: CAMBA, CWRR, CTC, and the Nordic Skiiers. It was so fun! I got to see my buddies ESpeed, DaisyDuc, Charlie, Rob, JenC and her hubby Matt, and a whole bunch of other old and new friends. Matt talked to some CAMBA guys about getting involved with their club, which was great to see. He's a bit shy so I'm glad he had fun, too. And a few people asked me, "So, you gonna race the Chili Bowl tomorrow?"

I totally forgot I still have it on my 2007 Race Schedule. Oops.

I had to sort of make up an excuse that I was out of town. A few people even called me out on it and said "Well you could still race in the morning, right?"

It turns out that, for better or for worse, my friends KNOW me. They know that if I showed up to a 5K, and DIDN'T give it my all--didn't come in at least 24 minutes or faster, that I would be upset. With no verbal explanation offered, and with me not being able to run faster than 10 minute miles due to heart rate restrictions, if I showed up at the Chili Bowl and came in at 30 minutes and offered NO EXPLANATION, I'd be doomed. Everyone would know something was up. And it's just not smart to let the cat out of the bag too early, from what I've seen.

So I had to pass.

God willing, if everything's fine, I can announce to the whole free world in mid-March. And then, maybe what I need to do is sign up for a 5K. No secrets. No PRs, no pressure. And what I can do is pace my Mom to PR. Seeing her face when she'd reach her goal just might be the boost I need right now.

And then I'll probably come home and take a long nap.

10 comments:

JenC said...

At least it was easy to drink water only at the brewery with all those athletes. I didn't drink that night. I didn't suspect anything either.

I'm enjoying reading this story of your early weeks!

E-Speed said...

I didn't suspect anything that night either you were sly!

It is very fun reading your story, I am glad you kept writing in this format to share later.

Kate said...

I agree- thanks for sharing! I can imagine what you were going through and you explain it all so well.

DaisyDuc said...

It was good to skip the Chili Bowl...it seemed as though they bought it after the Dirty Dog, but 2 races in a row would be pushing it!!

On a separate note, I shared that you were pregnant with Melissa and Carol who ran Dirty Dog with us...both happy for you and said they wondered if something was up that day!!!

Phoenix said...

Hey Sara, just stumbled on your blog - congrats. I just wanted to let you know - they get bigger. Fast. (Babies - babies get bigger fast, I don't know where your head is at!) And then there will be backpacking in the Grand Canyon and more Ironmans and lots of training and time and wishing they were tiny again. Trust me, it goes fast.

Jodi said...

I've heard about the first trimester fatigue. Sounds awful! Glad to hear you are feeling better now. People say that 2nd trimester is great!

:-)

Jodi

TriShannon said...

Glad you are finally getting over the nausea and fatigue!! Now you're not just the weird teacher who has a thing for gingerale. :-)

Robin said...

Glad you're getting past the 1st trimester fatigue thing. I had to tell my coworkers before I planned to because I kept falling asleep at work, in meetings, at my desk... It's like nothing else in the world, isn't it! But your body is doing such amazing work, more work than training for an Ironman apparently by the sleep differential. Isn't that cool.

RunBubbaRun said...

Just take it easy if you can. yes races will always be there. More seem to pop up. So they are not going away.

Things will go faster than you know it, (okay this is from a guy talking).

Awwhh naps. enjoy them..

Julia said...

**I don't know what to do! Matt's NEVER seen me like this.**

Um...you're pregnant. I assume that Matt has never seen you pregnant before... All those multiplying cells take work and you MUST give your body a rest. Relax and go with it. You WILL race again, just don't start marking your calendar yet. You have NO idea what tired is until you've survived the first three months of baby!