Wednesday, May 30, 2012

First Run Back

Well, I just got back from my first run/walk really since April  Over a month.

I really, really, really hope that's enough!

But Coach Emily put in the plan, "IF YOU HAVE PAIN DISCONTINUE IMMEDIATELY!!!!"

She is totally not usually a SHOUTY CAPITALS  or multiple exclamation points user.  So I know that she meant business.  For realz.

The plan was to do this:

Walk 7 minutes
Jog for 3
Walk 4
Jog 4
Walk 2
Jog 5
Walk 5

My first thought, I have to admit was, man, look at that.  Look what I've become here.  Look how much fitness I've lost. 

But then I quickly smacked myself upside the head and decided to get over it and get it done.

I have to admit, I was scared.  So scared that last night I freaked out to Matt.  I even got a little teary and said, "What if it still hurts?  I just want ME back."

Yes, I am TST and I am aware that running (or really, racing and tris) have become such a huge part of me that I've felt lost the past month.  Restless.  Cranky.  Bloated up like a balloon.

Not me.

So the thought of it still hurting?  And having to DISCONTINUE IMMEDIATELY!!!! (?)  Well, that was enough to throw me into a few irrational minutes of sniffling.

I set out and held my breath a little.

And let me be clear:  I sucked.  Big time.  I felt really slow and large and lethargic.  But I still felt so good to be out there.  Working full-time with a 4 and 2 year old, I've really relied on my little runs as my quiet time and my sanity saver.  Aside from missing my race, I missed that.  Probably more than the race, actually.  So I went out with no other noise besides my feet on the pavement and my breath.  I needed to hear that, and I needed to hear myself think.

(In case it hurt.)

Well, the good news is, it didn't hurt.  It felt strange, and tight a bit, and definitely different than my right achilles.  But it didn't hurt.  So I'll take that as a step in the right direction.  Even if it was a small, slow, kind of bloated step.

It's not a cranky step anymore.  And that's good.

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