The front page of the paper today released the Flight 93 transcripts. My students, as they were working in the library, had a copy and were reading it. They asked me if I read it, and I said "no." For me, I told them, it's still too soon. They were 9 when it happened. They really don't remember much or even really understand that day. I know it's going on five years now. But for me it's still too soon.
I'm not a cryer. I don't cry easily. But I'm wondering when the time will come that I don't cry on that day. So far I wake up that day and tell myself I won't, and I always do.
So what do I do today after my ride, as I'm getting ready to blog? I go online to the paper's website. And I read it.
And, just as I thought, it's still too soon.
I knew someone on Flight 11. Not even well--many of my friends knew her much better than I. I'm not sure she would even know me if she were still here today. But, she was an acquaintance--I knew her from a class and intramural sports--she was in my graduating class in college. I knew who she was. And for some reason, any time the subject comes up, all I can think about is her face as she must have realized what was happening. I feel like for me it makes it so personal--almost like a part of me was there, too.
And for that reason, when my students ask me if we can "see that movie about 9/11" or "did you hear the plane that flew into the Pentagon was really a fake" or whatever the latest conspiracy theory is out there, I get MAD. And I don't get mad often. But I get really short with them and say, "STOP IT--I don't want to hear about it." I know that as 9 and 10 year olds they really don't understand the terror of that day. To them it's almost like a movie. Some of them say they were even "mad" their teacher turned it off that morning.
I know they don't understand---they didn't understand, and they STILL don't understand. And hopefully they never will have to understand another event like that.
I just wish I knew how many more years it will take until I don't cry.
I was all ready to tell you about my ride--that I did the exact same route today and averaged 18.4mph--and yay, isn't that great.....and then I did what I knew I shouldn't and I read that transcript.
So, no bike story for now...no excitement about my time off work...just a reminder that life is short and fragile. Live it to the fullest, as I truly think we as triathletes strive to do every day. And always, ALWAYS tell your friends and family how much you love them.
That's all I got.