Saturday, June 30, 2007

Starting Fresh

...kinda like next year.

I was just telling Wil how excited I am to race next year, because it will just be all shiny and new again. After spending the better part of the past two days crying and feeling sorry for myself, I think I'm done now. Gotta love these hormones.

My philosophy will be to track everything I'm consuming. It shouldn't be too different from before, but I'm going to really watch the salty carbs that I like so much. Like pretzels. And Sun Chips. Mmmmm. Sun Chips. They will go bye bye.

I went to a natural foods market today and bought lots of vegetables--even more than usual!--and some other stuff to make lower-carb and lean-protein things. Anyway, all is not lost. After all, the baby is fine. That's what really matters. I went on a 2 mile walk today at the lake and it was a beautiful day. I'm not going to let this get me down. I've got a birthday Thursday, too. A big one. There's no crying at birthdays. Not that I'm even really doing anything that exciting, but still. Supposed to be happy. And I WILL eat enchiladas and a little ice cream cake that day. I'm sorry. It just is going to happen.

I refuse to go through the next three months of this hating every second. There's got to be a silver lining in here somehow. And although I've felt more down on myself this weekend than I have in a long, LONG time, there's still hope. Maybe things will level out. Maybe I can stay around where I am. I'm not off the "chart" yet...

All I can do is be the healthiest I can be. I did that last year, but I had the luxury of being able to torch 2 or 3 thousand calories in a nice long brick every Saturday. I could eat what I wanted and not pay as much attention. I feel like I've paid lots of attention now, but maybe I haven't. Something's not adding up.

So now I'll pay close attention. It couldn't hurt. And if it still doesn't change things, then at least I know I've done everything possible in my control. And I'll have to let it go then.

I found a great site: where I've started tracking my nutrition and workouts. They even have a nice message board where there are "teams" of Moms. I found a "Racing Mommies" team. How cool is that? Most of them are already moms but maybe they'll let me in the club. :)

I'm gonna do this, dammit. And I'm gonna like it.


Kurt said...

OMG, I am the first to post today to you. Yeah me!

Your healthy, baby is healthy and you will do great with the delivery.

Eating fresh is always nice but cheesecake and chocolate is great also.

Run for Chocolate said...

Oh God bless ya, I am so glad to be done with those raging hormones. I had horrible baby blues after the baby was born too, that no one forwarned me about so consider yourself warned and email me if it happens, I tell you what worked.

Jodi said...

I'm glad things are looking up. If you want a diet buddy let me know! Taper wasn't kind to me and I'll be on the calorie counting bandwagon ASAP. Just make sure you remember that you can do this! And once the baby comes you will be so damn active that you won't even notice the pounds floating away!

Happy early Birthday, Sara!



Wes said...

Happy Birthday! Dee Dee says you are doing great! She would know. She's a professional!!

E-Speed said...

good attitude girlie! I think you look fab!

Can't wait to see you tonight!

Wil said...

You sound a lot better, and I'm glad.

It sounds like you're on the right track, but I worry about you because you're SO determined and focused on acheiving stability (I'm way guilty of this too - shocker), and being pregnant is just a whirlwind sometimes. The hormones are something else, omg definitely, but the swings mean you're body is doing exactly what it's supposed to do. Trust it. If it wants some sun chips, it does. Consider yourself a team because the second everyone is telling you to push for the 870th time and you tell yourself man, I'm so tired... I can't do this anymore... it will take over for you. Your baby will be born. And you'll be amazed and what you are.

Brent Buckner said...

Best wishes for a happy birthday!

jbmmommy said...

Happy early birthday. I was thinking a lot about what you've been going through the part few days. I'm not someone to tout pregnancy as the best times of my life but I feel badly for you that much of yours has been a negative experience. I hope that the whole tracking, diet, weight thing doesn't become an interference with your life. You were healthier than probably 90% of the people walking around before you got pregnant and you still are. There are women that go through entire pregnancies without so much as a fresh fruit or vegetable. There are women who drink, smoke and even use drugs. Many of those women go on to have perfectly healthy babies. I hope there are some bright spots to the rest of your pregnancy, but even if it doesn't become the wonderful experience you might wish for- you will be rewarded with the most wonderful experience in the world- motherhood. I'll be thinking of you, take care.