I just got back from 35 minutes of "wogging" (which is Cerveza's term for walk/jog...and unfortunately what I think I am succumbing to here in my 6th month) and feel a little sad. These little valleys are bound to happen, I guess. I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that this journey gets me down from time to time, despite the extreme excitement and anticipation of it all.
I'd like to say a little PSA for the world at large. Maybe it's because I had to graduate to Matt's Cool Max shirts today, as mine are ridiculously tight. Perhaps it's because my favorite red swimsuit I swim in all the time will have to be retired for a while for fear of me resembling an Italian, slightly bloated CJ Parker from Baywatch with a distended belly. For whatever reason, I think I've just had enough.
So here it is: what NOT to say to someone who's pregnant.
I admit I must have made some mistakes in the past. No one told me not to tell moms to be that they have popped out and look so cute (which I know I've said before--I'm so sorry! you must have wanted to smack me!)
I have heard the following comments in the past eight days. None of these are exaggerated. Some are from males, but some are from females, too. None were from my Nutter girls who I got to visit this weekend and as always, rock the house. :) All of these comments have one thing in common: they were NOT WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR.
1. "Wow, she looks really great! You...I mean, YOU look a lot more pregnant than her!" points to my friend, who is DUE WITH TWINS IN JULY.
2. "I didn't realize you were pregnant! I thought you were just getting fat."
3. "Boy...wow...you sure have gotten huge since I last saw you, what, two weeks ago?"
4. "WOW. Well, you certainly look like you've stopped running." To which I replied, NO ACTUALLY I HAVEN'T, BUT THANKS.
Here is the only safe and acceptable thing to say to a pregnant chick...the secret phrase...the only one you'll ever need to know:
"Wow! You look great."
Because you know what? Maybe said pregnant chick doesn't look great by her standards, or traditional standards. But by the standards of carrying around a little kicking alien creature that has made it impossible for her to stop gaining and gaining weight despite exercise and eating well and NOW SHE HAS TO WEAR HER HUSBAND'S RUNNING CLOTHES...taking that into consideration...SHE LOOKS FLIPPIN' GREAT.
That's all. Just stop there. PLEASE.
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18 comments:
I hope you put those people in their place!
D'oh!!!
I wouldn't think polite responses were that hard to grasp.
At least you've got the pregnant excuse-- I've been asked about the baby and I've never been pregnant in my life. ;) (And I'm not even obese. :( )
THANK YOU!!!
Let me add:
"Wow, your tummy sure has grown a lot since last week!"
"Yep, no hiding it now, eh?"
(Directed at me and my friend, both due at the same time) "Wow, I'm surprised you can both fit in that car!"
"When are you due?" (November) "Oh, really? I would have guessed, like, August."
Also, DO NOT HELP YOURSELF TO A RUB OF THE PREGGO WOMAN'S BELLY! Just because there's a baby in there does not mean it's public property! Next time someone does that, I'm going to rub theirs right back.
I bet you do look great. Maybe you should post a picture for us....
Ok, I'm just saying MAYBE.
I will tell you that the ultimate worst thing to say to a pregnant woman (especially one who is only like 6-7 months along) is: "You are due anytime now, right?"
Amen, sister!
My mom, totally serious, wondered aloud about whether I could still drive because she doubted I could fit behind the wheel.
It shouldn't be so hard, but for some, it surely is.
Just remember what I told you... Pregnant spousal unit are hawt! And in this instance, the other spousal unit's opinion is the only one that counts :-)
*makes note for future occurrences*
During my first pregnancy, my husband stared at me in amazement one day and said I looked like a gorilla with that big belly. I wanted to smack him. Luckily, men are trainable. He quickly learned that the ONLY correct thing to say was "You look great, honey." :)
Something about being pregnant makes everyone in the world think you need their opinion. On how you look, how you'll raise kids, how many kids you'll have, etc. And why do women always want to share the nightmare of their labor and delivery stories?! ugghh. I hear ya and I'm sure you look awesome. Take care.
You look great! Now show us pictures!!!
I hit 201 with Bobby and 198 with Ally - I loved, loved, loved the day I discovered Dairy Queen blizzards... te-he. I'll try to dig up some good pics - you'll laugh and feel skinny immediatley!
I really don't believe for a second you are as big as I was. But I thought it was fun getting bigger and bigger, well, until the soles of my feet hurt. But like triathlon, everybody has a different opinion!
As an athlete you will surely have your old body back soon.
People can tell you there is nothing like the moment you have your baby in your arms, but you won't really get it until you actually do - it is the most amazing moment. I felt like God was in the room with me.
So happy for you... ;-)
Jenny
p.s. - patting prego tummies is a no no. Always.
Ouch...my sis went to Babies R Us a couple weeks after having her twins and the lady asked when she was due....that hurt. Like a baby belly especially from twins returns from its natural self overnight!!!
I always error on the side of caution!
Pictures or no pictures, I'm sure you look absolutely BEAUTIFUL. Seriously. And your new blog header kicks butt too.
If you can, try to imagine loving your body in all it's various transformational shapes and sizes... it is wonderful... and it will be yours again very very soon.
And thanks for the public service announcement - I'm SURE you've spared another woman some equally frustrating and upsetting experiences!!
**Billy Crystal voice**
DAHLING! zhoooooo look . . . MAH-VUH-LUSSS. zhoo really do.
**end Crystal**
I had a woman at work that every time she saw me asked "Are you sure you aren't having twins?"
if you need me to bitch slap anyone just let me know ;)
Amen sistah.
My personal pet peeve up to this point was that every single person - including the men - who finds out I've been awol from work and such because of severe N & V has felt compelled to coach me on cures for morning sickness and what I should be eating to feel better. GAH!!
And then there's the ones who see me, like walking around the block, and get all preachy and hysterical and "you shouldn't be doing that in your condition!!" You should see the look on their face when I tell them I'm training for a race : D
You look great and you are great.
Some people are just idiots!!!
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