So, I'm finally starting to feel better (yay!) and I'm hoping a few things are different this time.
Namely, I don't gain a small country's worth of weight.
Here's the deal.
I totally wasn't going to even pay attention to my weight this time, because last time no matter WHAT. I. DID. I just gained and gained and gained. Ran through my 7th month. Swam a mile 4 times a week. Ate mostly good stuff. It didn't seem to matter. Then I lost it all, and five more, and a dress size. So I had totally made peace with the fact that my weight might just be what it is.
Then I met with my doc.
To spare you the gory details, it seems that I had some stuff happen in my delivery of Jackson that I wasn't even fully aware of. (And that's probably a good thing, in this case) He was SO BIG. And your chances of having a baby that's bigger the second time are high. Which means if all goes the same, I'm looking at having a minimum 10 pound baby.
To which, she said, if that's the case...she'll strongly recommend a C-section.
No. NONONONONONONO I do not want a C-section if at all possible. Partly because I like to keep things as natural as possible, partly because I am a petrified freak who can barely give blood without passing out so how on earth am I ever going to have my insides taken out and sewn back in?!, and partly because of the recovery time.
And I'm just scared of it. That's mostly it.
So, I asked what I needed to do to avoid this. I know there is a great deal out of my control. But she did say that the one--the only thing, really--in my control is to watch my weight. Now, she could have been blowing smoke up my bum here, but she claims that for some women, there's a hormone in the placenta that makes it virtually impossible for carbs to be changed into energy. It just turns straight into fat.
Which is awesome. Because for the past 6 weeks or so, all I could get down were starchy carbs. And then I'd sleep for 2 hours.
But that does make some sense...because I swear I did everything "right" last time and still gained 55 freaking pounds. So, I decided to give it a shot. The only thing in my control here is to eat as healthy as I can. That's it. It still might not work, and I accept that.
But it's worth a shot.
So I've been logging what I'm eating at babyfit.com, which is a great site full of good stuff. And, I've had enough energy to get back into workouts this week, which is awesome. I feel a little bit more like myself every day. And the great part about doing squats and lunges is that I don't even need to hold extra weights! Because I already am holding the extra weight in my stomach! And butt! And hips! BRIGHT SIDE, people!
All kidding aside, I'm able to run about 3 miles (slowly), eat things that aren't just carbs (yay!), and my arms and legs are sore from some strength exercises. Almost like a regular workout day!
But you know what? This time I am definitely trying to enjoy the ride a bit more. Watching the little bean dancing around in there today at my ultrasound makes everything better. And when all is said and done, as long as that bean comes out healthy--even if it means out of my nostril--then that's what matters.
But I'm still gonna try to do it my way.