Now it's real.
I just got back from my Doctor's appointment, and Matt and I heard our baby's heartbeat for the very first time. I started laughing, which then really screwed it up, but then once I stopped I could hear my swish swish and my little baby's swishswishswishswish and even though I've known this since January, I can finally share my secret.
I've been pregnant now for 13 weeks. I've been writing lots, but haven't been able to share until now...so I will. This has already been quite a wild, crazy, humbling, emotional journey and I've barely even started. I'm sure all of you with kids out there will laugh at my naive attempts to predict how I'll feel like I'm doing some kind of race plan. As I read through all the things I wrote yesterday, I got a few good laughs in at myself.
I think it's safe to say I'm out of my element here.
The new race date is October 8, which obviously changes my race plans quite a bit. For instance, running the Chicago Marathon and going sub-4 on October 7 is probably not a good idea, unless I want to go in labor on the course and scare the bejeezus out of 42,000 people.
So I'll start at the beginning, and tell you my story so far. Warning. Disclaimer. I'm not going to even try to pretend it makes sense. I am fully aware that some things I'm feeling are irrational. This is what it is: the story of an Ironman whose life has revolved around race plans and schedules for the past five years getting a nice healthy dose of reality. It's the story of my fears, too...and this amazing, overwhelming feeling of joy I felt today when I heard that little heartbeat.
Buckle in, folks. Here we go. :)