OK. So I've had a few realizations.
I can't really blog and publish right now, because I can't really think about anything except how this baby will change my life, and how excited and scared I am. So I'm just being quiet.
I'm not going to watch "A Baby Story" on TLC. Or ANY show about labor. Nil. None. All they do is freak me out. We're just gonna have to roll me in there when the time comes and roll with it. Ignorance is bliss.
I really, really want cheeseburgers. So we went out to get one Sunday night, and I made big juicy homemade ones Monday. Mmmm. And I had another tonight. With pickles and tomatoes and lettuce and mustard and ketchup and a whole wheat toasted bun. And 96% lean beef, so it's all good.
I am coming to peace with the fact that I have to cut back on working out...but I don't have to stop. I am enjoying my 4-5 mile runs 4-5 times a week, so that's 20-25 miles a week, which really isn't so bad for a knocked up chick now, huh? I haven't really felt like swimming, so I ordered a new suit from the Grab Bag at SwimOutlet.com (Let's hope, Pharmie, that I don't get one as fugly as your poor sister Steph got!) :) As the weeks go by, I'm sure my runs will gradually be replaced with swims...and that's OK. I'm gonna be fine.
I ordered my IMW Finisher's Jacket today. Because sometimes I forget that it is a big deal. Because I might not get another shot ever, or in a while, and because I can't predict the future. It's nice to have a little token of where I've been to help me remember where I'm going. I think it will help get my slow, chubby ass moving out the door next November the day I'm allowed to run again.
I totally forgot about the OneOOne competitions. Maybe THAT'S a better move for me...40 less miles on the bike? Could be more doable. Perhaps I will head to Texas in the fall of '08? Or not! Perhaps I'll go to Steelhead. Or do both. Or do none. I need to remember that I can't possibly think about that now...which is hard, because I just got my latest edition of Inside Triathlon and, damn, they explain all the best races at every distance and it gets me SO. PUMPED.
Somehow I must be a good actress. It must be that poker face I can pull off. I felt like SUCH crap today at work, and had to lay down twice...but pulled off a lesson and even, during the last period of the day when I always feel like I've been hit by a truck, took an active role playing Woodrow Wilson in a League of Nations simulation I wrote a few years ago. They didn't suspect a thing.
I've gained three pounds. I feel like such a tub. I feel like my stomach is already poking out and everyone MUST KNOW! But they don't. Apparantly, three pounds doesn't signify that much...good to know, I guess. So I'm going to have to let go of worrying about pounds for now. It's just hard, because I've struggled with pounds pretty much ever since I can remember...but when the time comes to drop 'em, I'll just have to buckle down and drop 'em. It's worth it, I know.
I have two parties to go to this weekend where there will be lots of beer. I'm going to have to REALLY put on the poker face big time. "No, see...I have a LONG run tomorrow...none for me!" Worked before...can I pull that crap two more times? Sure hope so...
I'm excited. I can't really believe it. This whole thing is surreal and I can't wait to share it with my family and friends. And I'm pretty scared, too. I can do this....I can do this...