a number

The craziness is finally over. Whew. I feel like I can breathe. The thing that's even better is that I confronted the craziness a bit and dealt with it, and it lead to some very good conversations despite a few tears that helped a lot of parties involved see things in a new and true light. Hopefully this will lead to open and honest communication and to less of me feeling guilty.

Afterwards, Matt and I enjoyed dinner and got a chocolate-raspberry brownie with some decaf from Panera Bread for dessert. Mmmmmm. I think if I could just give up my sweet tooth I'd have like zero percent body fat. But then, what fun would that be? ;)

I did have to cut my bike short today and do it on a stationary bike at the gym--SUCKED--as my baby is currently getting a tune-up. I went to the sweet bike shop around here, Bike Authority and had them "pimp my ride" with a new tire, chain, possibly a new computer, and then also treated myself to a new pair of Trek gloves and a light-colored helmet. The helmet is awesome--fits like a dream. And it will be MUCH better than my old one which was black (ouch--combine that with long black hair and you've got a HOT fricken head in the summer) and stays put as opposed to my old one that drove me nuts.

And....drum roll please....I just ordered an AMAZING pair of Sidi shoes!!! Had my eye on them for a long time and figured I deserved them. :) They will come in within 2 weeks, and I got a good deal, so I will post them in all their glory.

I emailed Coach Kara to ask her a few questions this week. See, I sort of surprised myself with 2 good runs at Hinckley Hills, last week's long run, and this week's track workout. I really was surprised. I thought, geez...I must be the strongest I've been in a while to pull out these numbers. So I thought, I wonder what I could do in a short race?

Ahhhh yes. Competitive Sara is rearing her ugly head.

But really, I'm just kinda curious....if I hammered just once, what could I do? Could I possibly PR? I haven't done much short-road racing in almost 2 years now, so I hit my 5K PR quite a while ago. It's OK I guess, but I was never really that impressed with it. Now part of this is because my amazing brother is SUPER FAST and his 5K PR is 17:20. So, yeah, um, I have a hard time measuring up to that. :) But still, realistically, I really thought I should have that PR a little lower. Not 17 minutes--let's not get carried away here!!!! ha ha

So I told Kara about my long run and told her my track splits. She already tested my VO2 max back in December and told me back then that I have the potential to be running "One More Mile" times. One More Mile is the pace group 2 PACES AHEAD OF MY GROUP. I sort of chuckled and said, "Who, ME?" But she gave me a convincing argument and it got me thinking. Hmmmm....as Wil once said, potential can be a scary thing. But an empowering thing. When someone tells you that you have potential, it really can change your mindset.

So there's a race next Saturday. One I've done before. Nice and flat. Nothing too fancy. I won my age group there a few years ago. We have a good relationship, the race and I. I wondered, could I PR? Is now a good time to try?

Kara emailed me back. Holy crap. She said with my numbers on the track and my VO2, I should be able to run this number that's significantly faster than my current PR.

Over a minute faster.

Wow.

Is that for real? She knows her stuff, and she thinks that I can run that number.

It's scary for me to even type the number. If I type it and tell you, then that makes it more real.

But maybe it will make me reach it, too. If it's out there, then it's not a secret anymore. Then I've made it clear my body can do it. It's up to my mind to get me through.

Why is it so scary for me to type this number?

Agh! I've debated for the past 10 minutes whether or not I should even post it.

Well....it's official. I have signed up for the race. I've got the potential and my body can do it. I have a week to get my mind ready and remember that yes, my body scientifically can hit this number. It can. She said it could. The track splits say it can. The VO2 says I can. I'm physically strong enough to do it and if I am confident, I can pull it off. I've changed my blog's song appropriately.

Oh geez....I'm seriously nervous. No turning back now once I tell you. You'll know my secret too.

*inhaling deeply*

22:30.