Friday, May 13, 2011

Just What I Needed

I’ve said before how I’m not very good at slowing down, so you can imagine how much fun I have when it’s time to taper. Yeah. SO pleasant to be around! I’m either gasping and saying “is that a weird pain in my ankle?! Maybe it’s plantar fasciitis! Or a torn ligament! Or DYSENTERY!” or I’m lamenting how huge and slow and sluggish I feel.

So when I saw a little 30 minute run on the docket I thought, just 30? Really? Because if Matt had a say in this it would be about 3 hours and 30 minutes.

(The patience that my husband has, especially with me during race week, is UNREAL.)

We had a storm and then the sun came out just in time for a sunset, so I headed out.

I was supposed to do 4 pickups for 45 seconds to half marathon pace (which for me is about 8 or just under) and after a mile or so I got into them.

I had to really hold myself back. I found that my instinct was to go low 7s.

What?

Then, I was convinced the Garmin was lying to me. The battery was low; surely this was NOT TRUE. I was so convinced that I went to MapMyRun.com just to be sure that distance was really what it said it was.

I knew it would be wrong.

Except, it wasn’t.

I ran just 3 short little miles, but at a pace that felt so natural and easy and even slow to me. Like I was out for a leisurely stroll.

And it was 8:30.

8:30.

ME.

Needless to say, this was definitely what I needed to see.

I don’t know what is going to happen on Sunday, but I just sort of have this calm sense that’s been winning out over the freak out sense, that says I’ve done everything I can possibly do, and deep in there, I can do this.

I think this was my body’s way of reminding me that. That I’ve been here before; that I’ve been scared, that I’ve been reaching for something I actually said before I could never do, that I wondered if I could even do it.

And I did it. I fought like hell, but I did it.

I am starting to really believe that if I can just keep my head in my own head and in each moment--each mile--then I have got this.

2 comments:

cheryl said...

you have SO freaking go this! Hope the sun shines in Cleveland this weekend for you and the other racers! Go go go go!

cheryl said...

so sorry...there is always next year. But you finished and didn't quit and that says a lot...! Be happy!