I struggle a bit with January. I need to work on this. I love December and definitely hit a bit of a wall in January. I know it's the cloudy weather that plays a part, and I do my best to get outside even if it's fricken freezing to get a little sun time. This time, I know it's because Matt and I don't have a break together more than 3 days long until June, and I really think we could use a little vacation--even staycation--before then. But we can't, so I need to just deal with that. Our jobs don't allow us to take vacation days like many jobs do, so we're gonna have to soldier on through. And remember we both have jobs, and ones we both love, so June will be here soon enough.
Mentally, I've been a little overwhelmed this week, too. Last night I had one of my rough nights return--where I am completely, totally overwhelmed and can't sleep. I haven't had those in a while, so it was an unwelcome visit. And this morning's 5:50am phone call was VERY welcome, even if I was supposed to sleep until 6:25 since I knew the run this morning wasn't going to happen with last night's shenanigans.
Today, I'm going to get that challenging run in that Coach E has for me on the tready--I've come to both love and fear the Tuesday workouts. They look like they're not too bad, until I'm doing them. Then, while I'm holding a difficult pace for 5 minute repeats or so, I have to really bear down and focus. So far, my body has risen up to what my mind is telling it to do, which is a good sign. The Tuesday workouts seem to be very good for my head. I'm able to hit the paces I need to and I can tell I'm getting a little bit stronger each time.
I've also made peace with the fact that I will have to move a rest day to the weekend from here until May. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that. I mean, seriously. What endurance athlete has a REST day on the WEEKEND?! I have been programmed throughout the past 6 years to think weekend = time to shred yourself. The long bricks, long swims, long runs. But getting up early every day combined with my difficulty sleeping has resulted in a not very fun-to-be-around TST by Saturday. My "rest" day has been Friday, but what's been happening is instead of sleeping, I'm still naturally getting up around 4:45 and laying there thinking, "Damn. I should just get up and work out now." And then on the weekend I DIE. So last week was the first time I rested on the weekend: I had a solid, challenging 10 mile run in the snow last Saturday with Running Soulmate Ana, and then actually rested on Sunday.
Do you know how hard that was?
I mean, I couldn't rest. Matt was laughing at me. I just felt like I needed to work out. I finally settled on a bit of yoga and stretching in the evening, just so I could feel like I moved.
But I slept like a baby Sunday night--for the first time since I can remember.
So, I think I'm just going to have to break a few rules the next three months. Getting to Boston is going to require some creativity and (gasp!) flexibility on my part.
But for now, I'm gladly taking this day to drink coffee, watch my boys shovel and play "football" in the snow, and snuggle with Bean. Naptime will bring a run and a clear head. And I can head to work tomorrow after hitting the refresh button and be ready for a new month.