So "uncomfortable" is putting it mildly.
Thankfully, I am blessed with a FREAKING AMAZING HUSBAND who has been helping out SO MUCH the past week or two. Work is absolutely draining me. When I get home, I got nuthin'. NUTHIN'. And there's a 2 year old Bug who doesn't really get that. So I'm so glad Matt has been helping out and letting me lay down so I can find enough energy to somehow put together some dinner and make it until 9 for bed.
Which, of course, then consists of me laying there and tossing and turning for a few hours. Gotta love the way the body preps you for what's about to come, right? I'm lucky if I'm getting 5 hours of sleep now.
The good news is that Bean is still SMALLER than BUG. Yay! But don't get too excited. It's still big. Just not ginormous. Bean is approximately 7 1/2 pounds (give or take--these tend to be off at the end) which puts s/he somewhere in the range of 9 pounds at 40 weeks on my due date. Bug would have been over 10. Still better...but still large. What is it with me and large kids? Good thing I'm tall-ish....
Got a somewhat alarming call today on my voicemail--the doctor's office said there was "something with my ultrasound" and to "call them right away." Yeah. THAT'S a great way to have me hyperventilate and freak out in my classroom. Turns out it's that there's more fluid than normal up in thrrrrr, so, that means every week I get to go in for some fetal monitoring and stuff before my appointments. She swears up and down everything else is fine and this is just routine. So I'm trying to relax. Still hoping for this to be a natural start to labor, but obviously, Bean's health comes first. I should know more tomorrow.
On a somewhat related note, I've been having slight panics lately over the fact that (are you ready for this?) I'm about to have 2 kids.
Yes. TWO kids. Because I've had NINE MONTHS TO THINK ABOUT IT, but it's finally hitting me now. And I'm really scared.
Part of me feels like I am just getting the hang of one. What on earth am I doing adding another one?!?! (Those of you with 3, 4, or 18 kids, feel free to laugh) If you've been along for the ride for a while, you know this is standard operating procedure for me. Yes, my name is TriSaraTops, and I AM A WORRIER. I like to think of it as my tragic flaw. I'm getting better, though. I swear. ;)
Anyway...so, yeah. Two. How will I do two? Will I still be able to juggle everything? Teaching full-time? Being an athlete? And I'm reminded that I have felt this all before...that this, most definitely, is normal...ESPECIALLY for me. Whenever Negative Nellies like to tell me how "impossible" going from one to two is and how "you'll never have ANY time to yourself again" (yes, those are actual comments made to me in the past 2 weeks), it's a little intimidating. But that's them.
I'm not them.
I must consider the source.
My source handled things before, and damn well, if I do say so myself. Not that it wasn't hard from time to time. I definitely had my moments. But looking back at how scared I was for that first baby now, I realize how much I had in me in that moment and the moments after that I didn't even know back then.
So I'm hoping it will be the same this time around. Hereby granting myself wiggle room, in every aspect of life, though. But I did this once, and it made me and everything around me even better.
I can only hope for so much this time around, too. And in approximately 20 days, I'll find out.