Thursday, January 28, 2010

Holy SMOKES.

So "uncomfortable" is putting it mildly.

Thankfully, I am blessed with a FREAKING AMAZING HUSBAND who has been helping out SO MUCH the past week or two. Work is absolutely draining me. When I get home, I got nuthin'. NUTHIN'. And there's a 2 year old Bug who doesn't really get that. So I'm so glad Matt has been helping out and letting me lay down so I can find enough energy to somehow put together some dinner and make it until 9 for bed.

Which, of course, then consists of me laying there and tossing and turning for a few hours. Gotta love the way the body preps you for what's about to come, right? I'm lucky if I'm getting 5 hours of sleep now.

The good news is that Bean is still SMALLER than BUG. Yay! But don't get too excited. It's still big. Just not ginormous. Bean is approximately 7 1/2 pounds (give or take--these tend to be off at the end) which puts s/he somewhere in the range of 9 pounds at 40 weeks on my due date. Bug would have been over 10. Still better...but still large. What is it with me and large kids? Good thing I'm tall-ish....

Got a somewhat alarming call today on my voicemail--the doctor's office said there was "something with my ultrasound" and to "call them right away." Yeah. THAT'S a great way to have me hyperventilate and freak out in my classroom. Turns out it's that there's more fluid than normal up in thrrrrr, so, that means every week I get to go in for some fetal monitoring and stuff before my appointments. She swears up and down everything else is fine and this is just routine. So I'm trying to relax. Still hoping for this to be a natural start to labor, but obviously, Bean's health comes first. I should know more tomorrow.

On a somewhat related note, I've been having slight panics lately over the fact that (are you ready for this?) I'm about to have 2 kids.

Yes. TWO kids. Because I've had NINE MONTHS TO THINK ABOUT IT, but it's finally hitting me now. And I'm really scared.

Part of me feels like I am just getting the hang of one. What on earth am I doing adding another one?!?! (Those of you with 3, 4, or 18 kids, feel free to laugh) If you've been along for the ride for a while, you know this is standard operating procedure for me. Yes, my name is TriSaraTops, and I AM A WORRIER. I like to think of it as my tragic flaw. I'm getting better, though. I swear. ;)

Anyway...so, yeah. Two. How will I do two? Will I still be able to juggle everything? Teaching full-time? Being an athlete? And I'm reminded that I have felt this all before...that this, most definitely, is normal...ESPECIALLY for me. Whenever Negative Nellies like to tell me how "impossible" going from one to two is and how "you'll never have ANY time to yourself again" (yes, those are actual comments made to me in the past 2 weeks), it's a little intimidating. But that's them.

I'm not them.

I must consider the source.

My source handled things before, and damn well, if I do say so myself. Not that it wasn't hard from time to time. I definitely had my moments. But looking back at how scared I was for that first baby now, I realize how much I had in me in that moment and the moments after that I didn't even know back then.

So I'm hoping it will be the same this time around. Hereby granting myself wiggle room, in every aspect of life, though. But I did this once, and it made me and everything around me even better.

I can only hope for so much this time around, too. And in approximately 20 days, I'll find out.

15 comments:

Mama Simmons said...

I've heard that the second one doesn't rock your whole world as much as the first one did... that it's easier adjusting to the second one... not that I actually know this. I'll be interested to hear your take on it. ;)

KC said...

When I had my second baby, I was like, "What did I think was so hard about this the first time?!" about the infant stage. You can do it!!

Also, in the 18 months since #2 was born I've run a half marathon, a marathon, and I joined a track club where we did actual track workouts all summer long.

And I'm a full-time English teacher! I've had to start running on the treadmill at SCHOOL, which is taking some getting used to. But, it's going okay. So. It's going to be awesome. ;) I'm excited for you.

Veeg said...

Going from none to one is WAY harder than going from one to two. You and Matt are going to OWN this, yo.

And you already know about balancing mommyhood with training. You're going to setting new PRs (and maybe some BQS) in no time.

Jennifer P said...

I'm also having the 2nd baby freakouts but having been through the 1st baby freakouts I feel a little better equipped this time. And even though we live no where near each other, I swear we are talking to the same people. I was told the other night but a mom of 2 that my life is over. Nice.

Aimee (I Tri To Be Me) said...

The hardest thing for me when I had my second son was trying to always have special time with my first son. He had a hard time going from having my full attention to having to share it with a little baby, but now they are the best of friends and it's so wonderful to see them playing/interacting with each other!

Also, I don't know if you're planning on nursing, but one thing that helped A LOT was that whenever I fed my baby I would take out a special bin of toys that my older son could play with. He only got to play with these "special" toys when I was nursing! It was a life saver!

And remember, you've been here before...everything you forgot from the infant stage will come back to you and it will be much easier the second time around. :)

Christi said...

You will find the strength to handle anything that comes into your life. Don't listen to the negative nellies!

Mary IronMatron said...

PIECE OF CAKE, sarah. Really! You got through the hard part. It simply doesn't ever get harder than the first three to six months of Baby one. I totally agree with KC: you will think--huh? What did I think was so hard about this before?
Yes, it is hard, though. But you've done it. You can do it again, and some, because you KNOW now. You are already on the other side.
And the teaching? I made it to three kids and two dogs--and three years into that-- before I had a total breakdown and had to take a break. You'll be fine.

Andy said...

You both are going to be great with two kids! Matt seems to be great at pitching in with everything so I don't forsee you having any kind of problem :) Yeah I can see doctor phone calls during regular business hours being a problem. BTW (although you probably do now..) you will have the best time management after having two kids, a husband, a job and training/racing ever. I will be highly jealous! Have a great weekend! Enjoy it!

jtrimom said...

that's funny. when I was pregnant with my twins (I had a 2 year old already), It took me till I got my c-section date to "realize" that I would soon have THREE kids at home, not one, not 2 but THREE! and I sort of freaked, called all my friends (who knew I was pregnant with twins) and relayed the message...THREE!

Tamara said...

Hang in there, Sara. I can't speak to the two kids piece (since my elder one - the stepson - is 22 and doesn't require quite the effort a toddler most of the time!). But, know that this part is almost over. I'm actually jealous of the exhaustion, funny as it seems - closing in on 2wks on forced bedrest has given me more sleep than I can handle. We'll be done with this part soon!

Run for Chocolate said...

You will be fine with two. Its amazing how much more you know about babies the second time around and it also goes by as fast so try to enjoy it.

週休 said...

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Rural Girl said...

You may not believe this now, but you'll be great!! Life will happen and you'll figure it all out.

Endurance Nation said...

As a dad, I was less worried about how to do it than how it was going to work. I mean I loved my wife with all my heart. Then we had baby #1 and the amount of love I had for that baby girl blew me away...and I was worried what would happen with #2...how much love can you have for three amazing people? (B/c if you have love, everything else will be fine) Turns out love has some crazy exponential qualities...and we're all good. But not testing the realm of 3 kids! ~ Patrick

prashant said...

I actually know this. I'll be interested to hear your take on it.

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