Buckeyes and Stuff

Okay, for those of you not from Ohio or the Midwest who are unfortunate enough to NOT KNOW WHAT BUCKEYES ARE (blasphemy!), I will provide a step-by-step instruction manual for you. This is how Ohio folks do Buckeyes.

Notice, I did not say Ohio STATE folks. That would greatly upset someone in this household.

(Oh, and it would really tick Matt off, too.)

First, you gather all the stuff you need. I took the liberty of buying this in bulk at BJ's, so that I could also make a batch for the bowl game if we run out before. This is not for the weak at heart, ladies and gentlemen. Do not--I repeat, do NOT--even try to imagine the amount of saturated fat in this conglomeration of ingredients. You'll just want to barf. And that's not the point. Unless you're trying to make more room for more Buckeyes.

Then, you take FOUR STICKS OF BUTTER (don't think about it....lalalallalala what saturated fats?) and 32 OUNCES OF PEANUT BUTTER, and mix until they are a messy goo of tasty lard.

The next step is one I just kinda improvise. You put in enough confectioner's sugar to sweeten it up and make it like a play-doh consistency. I just keep pouring and mixing. But I must recommend the best way to mix is to take the rings off, wash the hands, roll the sleeves up, and GET ALL UP IN THERE.

At this point, I have to try really, REALLY hard not to take the bowl and a spoon, run into the nearest closet, and have my way with the peanut butter ball-mixture. Must. Show. RESTRAINT.

And now, time to roll the dough into little balls of goodness. This is a little time consuming, but worth it. I usually make them too big and I remember my Mom getting on me for this when I was a kid. It's better to make them smaller, but really, who wants a small Buckeye, right?

(insert gratuitous ball jokes here--don't worry, I often quote the SNL skit with Pete Schwety on NPR when I'm creating Buckeyes. I've heard and/or said them all. BTW--not sure what's up with the random squirrel at the end of the clip, but it's OUTSTANDING)

Chill for at least 10 minutes. Then, the final stage: dipping. Melt some chocolate chips CAREFULLY in the microwave (20 seconds at a time, and MIX WELL!) with a little bit of Crisco to make them shiny (you know, in case they weren't UNHEALTHY ENOUGH). Take a toothpick, dip them in to resemble a Buckeye, and voila!

Now since I have over 100 Buckeyes in my home, I need to either A) get rid of them FAST B) smear them on my hips since that's where they'll go anyway if I don't get rid of them pronto or C) have some good workouts this weekend. I'm happy to report that C was the option I chose.

Yesterday included a 90 minute trainer session with 4X8 minute pushes at Zone 3 (for me, 160-170 watts) and I felt great. Then today, I got out in the nasty drizzle shizzle and had a kickin' run! 8.25 miles in 1:14, which adds up to sub-9 minute miles! Yahooooooooooooo

Amazing what little balls of peanut butter chocolate-y heart attacks will do for your motivation, huh?

Enjoy!