My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to swim 4000 yards without stopping at a steady/even pace.
This is the most I have ever swam in my life without stopping.
I accept this mission.
I go to the local pool late after a thunderstorm blew through, and realize when I arrive at 3:10 that there's a sign that announces, "POOL WILL CLOSE TODAY AT 4:00 ON JULY 20TH FOR SWIM MEET."
Poop. I'd like to think I could swim 4000 yards in 45 minutes, but that's not really my pace.
Must think of something. Fast.
I ask the girl at the front desk, as I'm acting all innocent and trying to play stupid, "Oh no--is today the 2oth?" I smile sweetly.
Damn. Silly me approach didn't work. I need to think of something more aggressive.
I walk to the pool lap lane, determined to accomplish my mission. See a younger guard getting the lap lanes ready for the meet.
"Hi, um, is there ANYTHING I can do to swim past 4:00 today? How about 4:15?"
Guard looks worried. Guard says that pool must close at 4:00 despite the fact that the meet doesn't start until 5:30.
"Please? I promise I'll blend in. Look, I'm wearing a red suit like you guys...if anyone asks, just tell them I'm a guard." I smile.
Guard asks uptight boss.
Uptight boss starts himming and hawing and talking about how some residents might get mad if I'm allowed to swim but they are not.
I feed uptight boss the line about my red racing suit again.
Uptight boss is not buying it.
I joke that I was on this team 15 years ago, so I'm just really late for the warm up. Smile smile. Hee hee. Bad joke.
Uptight boss likes this! He is warming up....
I must offer a deal to diffuse this bomb.
"How about I'll just keep swimming until you tell me to stop? Just flag me down."
Uptight boss assures me he can give me no more than 10 minutes.
"Okay, no problem!" I know it will take me longer than 10 minutes extra to do this. I will just blend in with my incognito lap swimming and see if I can make this work.
1000....2000...2500 (BEEP--horn to exit the pool)
Oh boy. Here we go. If I just keep doing my flip turns fast they can't catch me! Flip, flip flip!
They don't seem to notice. I'm blending in.
Oh no. They've put the lap lanes in and the flags up. They look like they are almost done. Out of the corner of my eye I can see the other team in green suits starting to show up.
A hand in the water.
"Miss, we're gonna need you to stop now."
I hop out. Look at the watch, and am pleased.
My next mission....to ride 5 hours tomorrow and then run 45 minutes off the bike...my longest brick yet.
You'd better believe I'm accepting this one, too.