Just listened to the latest "Happier" Podcast with Drew Barrymore as the special guest, and I just love her. Seriously. Talk about someone who really turned life around and made something of herself...and, from what I can tell, someone who seems very grounded and appreciates being grounded is really refreshing. She mentioned something that really resonated with where I am right now (and my last post) which was something to the tune of "You can do anything, but you can't do everything." I hear you, sister.
Prioritizing is key, and so is cutting the right corners. So, it's been nice to really get back to my roots. My heart has always been in triathlon--I try to pose as a runner here and there and I do a decent job at it, but really?
My heart is and always will be in triathlon.
In a pool, when I was maybe 5 or 6, I first learned I had actual talent--like, not just because my mom said I did. I learned that the only opponent that mattered was myself. This carried over to everywhere from the piano to the seat in the classroom to the spot in front of the classroom to the race courses today.
I told Coach Emily I was finally ready--ready for something structured. I think that might have been the longest I'd gone (since being pregnant) without formal workouts. It was about two months. And it was needed, too--I needed a full two months to wrap my head around what was making me race with dread and not joy, and figure out how to fix it. And the answer is to get back to what consistently makes me happy, and that's triathlon. So I'm doing it.
And it feel so good.
Well, not all of it. To be clear, I told Coach Emily that the workout she wrote for me this week pretty much made me barf and made me realize just how much work I have ahead of me. Hello there, slice of humble pie! SUPERSIZE ME.
And I made it out to a group spin on Sunday for the first time in a long time, and I was a disgusting sweaty mess at the end but it felt so damn good to be there. With people who get it. Who like this stuff too. Netflix is okay and all but sometimes it is nice to get out of my basement, and I left there feeling pleasantly wrecked and ready for coffee and church, and the rest of my week.
Running is getting better, but I'm seeing it now more as a puzzle piece to my greater goal. It's quite liberating. No longer am I running through pain (yay!) and I'm thinking more how I can be ready to run off the bike, to have a solid race, and to finish strong. It's a whole different take on running, and it's one that is more me.
In short? This feels right. Doing what my heart pushes me to do is making me happy. My heart is in it, and the joy is coming back.