The Adventures of TriSaraTops

The Best Laid Plans

2012-01-29T16:09:00.000-05:00

Well, had one of those days that required a lot of ~~flexibility~~ HELP yesterday. One that is funny now, but at the time? Not so much.

A reminder that you've gotta role with the punches, for sure.

So I had a grand plan. My plan is to swim once during the week and once on Saturday while Bug takes his swim lesson. It's perfect, right? He has his lesson and I swim in the pool that's 10 feet away. It would be a short swim, but still--better than nothing! And lately I've been doing a whole lot of nothing when it came to swimming. Which made me sad. Because I am not a duathlete. Or a runner. I am TOTALLY a triathlete at heart and I NEED TO SWIM. (BTW, Mary's got a fabulous post in her hilarious, no-nonsense, Mary style about why swimming is, indeed, important, for triathletes, despite what you may have heard. LOVE.)

So here's what the plan was for Saturday:

Bug and I head to the pool for swim lessons
He has his first indoor swim lesson
I swim 2000 yards

MEANWHILE...

Matt and Bean head to Target to pick up a Strawberry Shortcake present for a 4th birthday party
Then, they come back to get us, as we are all changed and dry

Okay, first of all, let's just start with the obvious flaws. That is ENTIRELY too many things to accomplish in one hour when you have a four year old and a one year old. Seriously. Am I on crack?

But the main thing I didn't factor in?

It's Bug's FIRST day of swim lessons. Bug HATES the first day of ANYTHING. Well, really, the first 15 minutes. After that? He's having a grand old time. But I should have learned my lesson after swim lessons the past few years, the first day of preschool, etc. I know better. The first 15 minutes are not going to be fun. But the thing is, it's worse if I'm around. So then I have to slink away in the shadows and worry that people think I'm horrible for not hovering helicopter-style over Bug. But I know that he really does better if I back off, so I do.

(But that doesn't stop the MommyGuilt Monster from creeping in, since I can't just grab a megaphone and explain to the crowd, "No, really, he does better if I leave! I swear!")

So instead of me seamlessly slipping into the lap lane to crank out 2000 yards, I helped Bug and coaxed him over to the class. I reminded him how he asked, no, BEGGED me for lessons in "the lesson pool," so he could learn how to "swim in the deep." He wasn't having any of it.

So then I tried the whole "walk away" thing. And it worked...for him. Not for me, though. I felt horrible for even thinking about swimming. I frantically called Matt for backup. He brought Bean back and then I felt comfortable attempting a swim.

Trouble was, Bean was in her winter coat. And wanted to swim. NOW.

So, needless to say, I cut the workout short, and looked every few breaths to make sure a) Bug was okay and 2) poor Matt wasn't chasing Bean in the pool fully clothed. Luckily, they have an indoor playground, too, so Bean could run without water involved.

This, my friends, is what you call a supportive husband. Sometimes, people ask how I am able to train with two little ones and a full time job, and my answer is, him. Always him. There's absolutely no way I could pull this off without him, because he knows how important this stuff is to me. So he makes it work, just like I make his soccer tournaments work. We do it because it's part of who we are, so when I frantically call him when he's in the Target parking lot and say, "please, please...I need help" he is always there. He knew how hard it's been for me to get to the pool and when this plan came unraveling he didn't hesitate to change his plans and come back...and I'm so grateful.

After the (shorter) workout, Bug begged to stay and play. I had told him he could only if he listened to his teachers, and he swore to me that he played "Red Light, Green Light" and kicked with the kids in class, which he did. So it really, truly was only the first 15 minutes that was the rough patch, the "no-I-don't-wanna-do-this" whimpers, the part where half of me wanted to just make him feel better and take him away and the other half knows that's not the right thing to do. Because he needs to learn how to swim, for safety's sake. And also, he loves it. And after that 15 minutes, he did love it. He couldn't stop talking about it the rest of the day--how the one little guy in his class had a Batman towel, or how he did "animal jumps" with Coach Anna.

And that Strawberry Shortcake thing? We got it on our way home. It all worked out, like it always does.

Someday soon, he'll take off running full speed ahead without me. Without even a second glance. And I'll miss these days, when he needed me and when I was afraid to walk away, even though I knew it was what he needed me to do. And those first 15 minutes? When he gets on that school bus? When he drives away in that car?

I'm pretty sure it will be a lot worse for me than for him. But I've got the best team around to help me out.

The TST Playlist, 5/100

2012-01-28T14:07:00.000-05:00

Okay, sorry for any dudes that are reading this. But for my Janet fans--Miss Jackson, if you're NASTAYYYY--I had to put this up on the playlist.

HOW did I forget how amazing Janet is until my buddy Dani put it on our spin playlist last night?!?! I got a big smile on my face and almost had to get off the bike to do the sweet dance break at the end.

This song also made me laugh because back in the day we really wanted to use it as entertainment for a halftime show as a dance. And then our advisor actually LISTENED to the lyrics. Aw HELL NO. Not what you'd call "school appropriate" for a bunch of 16 year olds to dance to in polyester blue skirts.

However, SO APPROPRIATE if you want to jam out on a ride.

The video is so deliciously, ridiculously 1993 awesome, though. So, enjoy.

Operation Swim with the Fishies

2012-01-24T09:16:00.002-05:00

So this morning was my swim morning.

You could say I was a *little* nervous to try it all out and time it all up.

How nervous, you ask?

Nervous enough to wake up automatically at 4:FREAKING10 AM. Thank you, internal clock. FOR BEING PSYCHO.

Anyway, I found out something very, very exciting. The pool opens AT 5:30! Yahooooooooooooooooyippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! That 15 minutes is seriously key. It means I can probably hit 3000 yards and still be out of the water in time to shower quickly and come home and put Bean's hair in piggies.

(This is the most important task of the day. Baby Girl has a bit of a mullet goin' on, and lest she be confused with this:

...I need to put her hair in some piggies, yo.)

The best part was that the high schoolers showed up, sleepy-eyed, at 6, so I got to see a few of my kids there which was fun. And I made a good solid attempt to hang onto their feet in the lane next to me, which considering they were swimming, like, 10 people to a lane and I was sharing with one other girl, was not quite as much of an accomplishment as it would be if I was in their lane. But I was still excited to be close!

2200 yards and time to SPARE, homies. Bring it.

I will leave you with one of life's great mysteries....why is it that I feel like drowning and that I can't BREATHE when I do backstroke and my face is OUT OF THE WATER, yet in freestyle I breathe just fine?

Discuss amongst yourselves.

Happy training!

The Monster

2012-01-21T14:58:00.002-05:00

He makes an appearance quite often.

The MommyGuilt Monster. I kind of think he looks like this:

(Credit: Cute Monster by ~WotansKriegerin on deviantART)

At first glance, he looks cute, no? But don't be fooled. He is one passive-aggressive MOFO. I know he doesn't make any sense. I fully understand that he is irrational, and what he says MAKES. NO. SENSE.

And this is a small sampling of what he says:

"RAWR. You should work. You should stay at home. You're not good enough. Nothing you do is right. You work out too much. You don't work out enough. Why don't you make more crafts? Why don't you cut their sandwiches into the shape of an elaborate pirate ship with sails and action figures? Why did you allow them to eat a french fry and non-organic chicken? RAWR WORSTMOTHEREVERRAWR!"

As much as I know that he makes no sense, I still hear him. Quite often. And the funny thing is, once I make peace with him, ignore him, and move on, he seems to go away. He's like the one bad kid in the room that wants all the attention, but when no one pays attention, he actually shuts up, you know?

Swimming has been difficult lately. Like, nonexistent. Because MommyGuilt Monster was rawring all over my attempts to swim. But what if I'm not around in the morning as much before school? But what if I go after school and Matt has to pick the kids up? BUT?! BUTBUTBUT! Life CANNOT go on without ME! ME ME ME

(MommyGuilt Monster is really about validation, sometimes.)

The funny thing? That things CAN go on without me. And go quite well, after all. That my husband is an amazing father, and doesn't need me to hover like an annoying insect whispering, "Do you need me to help? Should I get her socks? Did you remember their lunches?"

No. No. And YES ALREADY!

Here's a classic example. I was really, really going to try and swim Friday morning. The goal was to pack up the bag and go to the pool and then go straight to work, which is about a block away from the pool. There is no good reason I haven't been swimming. I practically work in the building. But I haven't, and it's mostly because of Monster and how he won't shut up about me "missing it." "It" being time, space, minutes, seconds, breakfast, WHATEVER.

It took me about 348,942 minutes to pack everything up. I got annoyed. I grumbled.

And then it appeared.

Rawr. You won't see the kids before school. You're a MONSTER. They will not survive the day.

So then, at about 11:30pm, I changed my mind. I'd go, come home and shower and see the kids off, and then go to work.

Yeah! That's a good idea!

But the Monster got louder.

WORST idea ever, RAWR. They won't see you for more than a few minutes. RAWR. That's not quality time RAWRRAWRRAWR. MOMMYFAIL.

Before I knew it, it was 2:03am and I was still wide awake. Panicking. That if I wasn't around EVERY second in the morning, the world would cease to spin on its axis.

See? Irrational. But that's how the Monster works.

So what ended up happening, you ask?

I was so exhausted I slept in and was almost late--thank goodness Matt came in to wake me up! No swim. And, the kids were already dressed and in the car, with their lunches and blankies.

So that precious important time that Monster told me I'd be a failure if I missed?

I missed it anyway. AND my swim.

I thought about it a lot Friday. It seems that Monster has a way of making me feel guilty about things that really don't need guilt about. Yes, I've been at this for almost 4 1/2 years. No, that's not news. But I'm really going to try and be better about letting Monster in my head.

I swam after school. It was awesome. I remembered how much I love the pool, and how much I'm a TRIATHLETE and not a runner or a cyclist or a duathlete. And to be a triathlete requires swimming, which I love anyway, and I need to make this work for me.

That when I have that short time--just 40 minutes, even--in the pool, it reminds me of summer and the beach and races, and it makes me happy. And that, in turn, makes me a better mother.

So here's what I'm going to do, at least once during the week:

Swim from 5:45-6:25am. Yes, it's short. But I can do some harder sets in there, and I'm going to have to live by the philosophy "quality over quantity" for a while, because that's my life at the present time.

Quick shower until 6:35.

Home by 6:45am. See kids off and put Bean's hair in piggies.

Dry hair, change, coffee. Out the door by 7:30am. Back to my school, which is 0.5 miles from the pool. But doing it this way will allow me not to have to pack EVERYTHING in the free world, and I'll get to see the kids in the morning, which, let's be honest, is probably more important to me than to them. I'm pretty sure they're happy to see me whenever it is, YOU HEAR ME, MONSTER?

MommyGuilt Monster is one powerful, loud, SOB. I may not be able to drown him out entirely, but I'm going to try. I'm going to do my best to ignore him and look the other way and remember that sometimes giving up a few frantic, "did you brush your teeth?" minutes in the morning will lead to many more quality minutes later in the day. And that it's important for me to continue doing things I love as much as I can. To show my kids that it's important, too. And to set a good example for them on how to stay active, even if you have to get creative in the process.

Be gone, Monster. I took my cuties to see an Eric Carle stories play this morning downtown at Playhouse Theater, then lunch at Chick Fil-A (Bug's favorite treat), and now one's napping and the other's playing with his daddy. You can't tell me I'm doing this wrong. You can't tell me I'm not good enough. Well, you might try, but I sure as hell am NOT going to listen.

And anyway, I'm off to the pool.

Race Report: Run for Regis Trail Half Marathon

2012-01-15T16:40:00.000-05:00

Or, "The It's Really Nine Degrees?! Half Marathon...

Or, the "This Sounded Like a Really Good Idea in October" Half Marathon...

Or, "Trails are Hella Hard But Pretty Amazing" Half Marathon.

So Saturday night, I had an amazing time with some super awesome people. It was so fun to hang out with some friends and very much needed after a really busy last-week-of-the-semester. The alarm clock went off WAAAAY too early for a Sunday, but it was go time!

Whoa. MORE snow. We got dumped on this week, which I was actually kind of excited about on Friday. Because, see, I attempted to run the trails with Ana, Laura, TriEric and Aimee, Dale, Patty, and Tina last weekend, and let's just say it didn't go so well. Poor Laura slid down a hill with all the mud and was COVERED. A few of us bailed and just decided to run on the roads since we were mostly walking through swampy mud, and the thought ran in my head of, "How the heck am I going to do this next weekend for a HALF MARATHON?" I was pretty sure it scared Ana off big time and she was going to join the Witness Protection Program on race morning if things didn't change.

So freezing temperatures and snow? Very much welcome by me on Friday and Saturday.

Not so much on race morning, though.

This is my "what the HELL was I thinking" face at 5:57am as I opened the door to let Mugsy out

We headed out and due to a BIG mistake on my part, we got a little lost. DOH! No worries, right? It's a laid back race, right?

Um, yeah, but you still need to be there IN TIME FOR THE START.

We arrived literally three minutes before the start. We frantically jumped out, grabbed our schtuff, peed, and made it by about 10 seconds to the start line. I found Brandy and the four of us: Ana, Brandy, Jen, and I, set out for a nice little "Happy Birthday Winter Hike With Friends" which is what I was calling it since it was Jen's birthday (yay!), I was grossly undertrained and hadn't ran more than 8 or maybe 9 miles, it was NINE degrees according to Jen's car, and we were all there with friends.

So we took off on our little winter adventure!

It was beautiful. Really, seriously beautiful. Here is a link to the official FB page of all the pictures, so HUGE props to the volunteers like my buddy Lloyd who I saw snapping away on the course! His photos can be found here--thanks, Lloyd! The volunteers were seriously amazing--stocking the aid stations with "hot and cold" tables full of everything under the sun, making sure the course was clearly marked, and just being awesome. It really made this run super fun.

And hard. And not as bad as I thought, and then hard again. And with some killer hills and technical trails. Garmin says 1,130 feet of elevation gain.

(OUCHY. That's the sound of my quads ripping apart and my right hammy barking at me.)

I saw tons of snow covered trees, lots of snow covered running buddies, amazing volunteers, and a few signs that said "STEEP GRADE" which meant, oh yeah baby it's ON in about 12 seconds. And then ouch! But in a good way.

The last time I attempted this course, the snow was so deep and it was my first long trail race so I made the decision to bail at the first loop's end at mile 8. So if I could finish this one, I'd be pretty happy. And finish we did! Brandy, Jen, and Ana killed it and I dragged along about a minute behind as my legs and lungs revolted a little bit on the last climb out (yeah--forgot my inhaler AGAIN. me=stupid). Ana has officially been introduced to the world of trail running and did AMAZING. So proud of her! Jen and Brandy killed it as usual, too. It was so fun to run with these girls!

Ana, Me, Brandy, and Jen at the finish! My face was pretty much frozen into a smile

I finished in about 2:40 by my watch (not counting our approximate 6 minute stops total for 2 aid stations) for an average pace of just about 12 minutes/mile, which I am SO happy about considering I had to walk most of the uphills. And there were quite a few of them, too!

Afterwards I had a bowl of delicious vegan chili provided by the volunteers and some conversation with good friends!

And now, it's almost time for this:

So get out there and play in the snow! Remember, there's no such thing as bad weather....only bad gear. :)

Huge congrats also go out to my girl Daisy who tied for first overall in the 50K! 50K in those conditions = HONEY BADGER. Amazing. Well-done, Daisy! And I KNOW she's drinking a cold one tonight, cuz that's how she rolls.

TST Playlist, 4/100

2012-01-04T21:05:00.003-05:00

Okay, so this isn't really a song I know.

But a year or so ago I stumbled upon the Holstee Manifesto, and kinda fell in love with it. I immediately printed it out, mounted it on some cardstock, and put it in a highly visible place in my classroom.

Turns out they made a video of it, with people riding bikes--how awesome is that? And my super cool tri-bro TriEric just posted it on FB, so I'm shamelessly putting it here. So it's not necessarily a video picked for the song, but picked for the words. Check it out!

The Holstee Manifesto Lifecycle Video from Holstee on Vimeo.

Polar Plunge, 2012

2012-01-02T14:38:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year!

I rang in the new year in my flannel pj's watching sorry excuses for talent on various cable channels. I know, right? I am JUST THAT EXCITING!

New Year's Day I woke up and headed to Puma Yoga to try a Vinyasa Flow class with an awesome instructor, Rachele. I go to Rachele's Tuesday Relaxing Flow and Meditation class quite a bit and love it. I thought I'd mix it up and start off the New Year with something different. I knew it would obviously move a bit faster, but WHOA! Chair! Chaturanga! Eagle! Sun salutations! Crow! Headstand! Warrior! AGGGHHHH It was seriously a great workout and I'm SORE now from all those difficult poses. I will definitely have to hit that class again--it was a great way to start out the day with a good sweat.

Then, I headed straight to the beach for our Cleveland Triathlon Club Polar Plunge. Boo-yah!

It was a BALMY 48 degrees, and man, did we luck out because today a huge cold front and snow came through. I decided that I was going to HTFU and go all the way under this year! I mean, the Mayans said the world will end in December so I may not have another chance to do it, right? Gotta live it up while I can! (Ha!)

That's my buddy, TriEric, holding up the blowhorn as we all head in!

Tri friends Susan, Lori, Jen and I

It looks like I'm deep in thought here..."Why do I do this every year?"

Now it looks like Jen and I are really questioning our sanity

There were TONS of my tri-buddies and it was super fun. And yes, I did go all the way under. And then I yelled some bad words, but it was out in the Lake so I doubt the cameras picked it up. Sorry kids.

Those are my arms behind that dude

Freezing my you-know-what-off

Jen and I did dolphin dives and lived to tell the tale!

Apparently I was on the news on two different channels, but all I found was this one! I give Jen a high-five and TriEric makes a cameo at the end with his blowhorn. Plus, you can see newlyweds Kim and Tim who got married New Year's Eve. Now THAT'S Polar Plunge dedication!

And I even got to meet Trail Boy! Big shout-out to him. Always fun to meet other bloggers!

Both of my kids TOTALLY wanted to go in and were NOT happy when I told them "No, honey, 36 degrees is not really toddler-appropriate..."

He wasn't havin' ANY of that

Now Bean is really ticked off we won't let her in, too

But happy again!

And now mad

Really, REALLY MAD.

But other than that we were all smiles! Bug put his hand in the water and felt how cold it was, so that helped. As always, a fun way to ring in the New Year with lots of friends.

In other news, I have a trail race in less than two weeks and have yet to run on trails. Oh boy. Are we in for it or what?! Ana and I decided we're calling it a "training run" and are not to utter the words "race" anymore, since we will be completely and totally winging it on all levels. But regardless, it will be supercrazyfun.

Happy New Year to you!

Aging Up

2011-12-31T16:05:00.001-05:00

Well, another year down, and as of midnight tonight, I move up another age group due to USAT rules.

(Whoaholycraphowdidthathappen?)

Just got back from celebrating "Noon Year's Eve" at the zoo with my cuties. It was super fun.

Jackson and his little friend, Hanako, having a jam session yesterday

This year, I have some lofty goals and resolutions. Let's start with resolutions--and these I really do plan to keep. I don't want to LOSE anything this year. I need to GAIN a few things:

1. At LEAST one date night per month, set well in advance, babysitters all lined up. Something ideally just for Matt and I. We're pretty good at getting out with friends here and there, but find that it's hard for just the two of us to get out. Usually I have a melting point involving a freak-out and a frantic call to my parents to see if they can watch the kids in, oh, five minutes...which is not good planning. We're going to really work hard at setting aside some time just for us and put it on the calendar well in advance. For those who have little ones, you can appreciate just how important--and how hard this is--to do.

2. I'm going to really work on Keeping Calm and Carrying On. I'm going to really focus on worrying less. Those of you who know me also know how hard this will be. I am a Worrier. With a CAPITAL EVERYTHING. I'm making some progress here, but I am going to focus on giving myself a break more. Eating as clean as I can, regularly practicing yoga and meditation, and just trying to let go of the small stuff more. I have a little system in place to start measuring this so hopefully I can really stick to it, since it's definitely an area I need to work on.

Race goals? Just warning you: they are biggies. Here we go:

1. Low 1:40s at the Cleveland Half Marathon in May. I would like to go 1:43 or lower. This is a high reaching goal for me, but I know that I can do it.

2. Consistently improve at the short distance triathlons, especially in the run. I want to get my 5K run at the end of sprint distances under 24 minutes. This also will be difficult, but doable.

3. Sub-5:30 at Rev3 Cedar Point. Here's how I'd like to break it down: 36 minutes on the swim, 2:47 on the bike, and 1:52 on the run. That would take me to approximately a 5:25 and allow for transitions, too. Again, will be hard, but I know I'm capable of that. The only really big change here is on the run. That run would be taking off a good 10 minutes of my last time, so that will be tough.

Professionally, I've got quite a bit going on, too. I'm being nominated for something pretty awesome, so I need to get working on that. I will be presenting to the Grant Committee and our faculty on how I've had my students use the iPads that were so generously provided for me, so I need to put together some good stuff to showcase that. I also have of course the state tests looming in March and the AP test in May. So 2012 will include quite a busy second semester.

(Which, of course, takes me back to Resolution Number 2.)

So I'm going to enjoy my last few days of just me, Matt, and my kiddies, before I head back to the crazybusy-ness that is the life of a working mommy triathlete. I'm so happy for my health and blessed to have my family and friends, and I look forward to another amazing year.

Even if I do have to age up tomorrow. ;)

Happy New Year!

TST Playlist, 3/100

2011-12-28T21:54:00.000-05:00

So I was all stoked to run with Ana Monday morning, but her kiddies had been sick with the stomach flu and she texted me that it was a looonnng night. Been there. Totally understand. No problem--we made plans to run Tuesday. I relaxed Monday and decompressed after a super fun but super busy Christmas weekend full of goodies, Batmobiles, yummy meals, and chunky flower puzzles. And my new Kindle! That I didn't even realize I wanted and now I loveloveLOVE it and can't put it down! Woot!

Monday was gorgeous and sunny. Matt needed to get in a workout so I just took the time to chill and figured I'd get in a good 8 miles or so Tuesday morning.

Except I got up Tuesday to run and, strike one, heard the rain. BOOOOO. Cold, freezing drizzle. Oh hellz no. I can do cold, and I can do rain, but 36 degrees and raining is just pretty much the worst case scenario for me. EVER. Me no likey.

But I'd have company, right?

NO. Text from Ana, at 1:07am:

"Just kidding--now I am puking!"

Noooo! First I felt bad for my poor friend. That blows. Then I felt bad for poor me. I was all dressed up to run outside. I hate dreadmills for anything longer than 45 minutes.

BOO all around.

So I sucked it up and decided to run outside for the both of us. Me and the trusty iPod, which is in dire need of updating. But it did have this gem on it from my friend, Chien, who is the mastermind behind Actually, Records in Chicago. Chien is pretty much the most creative musical genius I have ever met. The guy's been like this ever since I first really got to know him back in high school. Whenever I need new tunes, I hit up Chien. He's been making me mixes that he calls the "Toasty Arcaro" mixes (uh, long story) ever since they was on actual mix TAPES, yo. And this song came on and it helped me run a bit harder when I really was questioning my sanity for going out in such craptastic conditions. Thanks, Chientos!

Come get your beat back in the game
Gotta put my foot down switching lanes
Sensation pumping through my veins
Let's go again
I got your back so let it rain!

8 miles done. Sucked, but still better than the treadmill.

Flip Turn Flashback, Preggers Style

2011-12-23T09:46:00.000-05:00

So I switched to the new blogger layout (look at me, all techy! not really) and I saw that quite a few people were finding my blog by searching "flip turns while pregnant." Which, in turn, cracked me up. Because I took great pride in doing flip turns, all the way up to the end. The very, very large end.

So, out of my May 2010 archives, I have dug up the video that my preggers buddy, the superawesome JenC took with my little underwater Olympus. See? It is possible. And no, I'm not entirely sure I could have possibly gotten any larger. I bake big babies, people. For realz.

So if you're pregnant and wondering if you can still do a flip turn, here's me at 38 weeks pregnant showing that it may not be pretty form, but it is possible...

Christmas Vacation up in HEEERRRREEE

2011-12-22T22:22:00.000-05:00

I am sooooo excited!

And tired. OMG, very, very tired.

We finished school yesterday (finally!) and today was my first day off. Which was awesome, except that I had a *bit* of work piled up that I've been putting off for, oh, a month or so. And, uh, Santa's workshop had NOTHING wrapped. Nada. And, like, Christmas is in 3 days.

It'll get done somehow, right? Santa always gets it all done.

(I could use a few of his elves, though)

Currently I am sitting on my couch with a snoring puggy on my lap watching....wait for it...Beavis and Butthead.

Shut up, Bunghole.

Yeah, I said it.

I am a HUGE fan of this show. Even more so now, since they rip on music videos AND MTV shows. Seriously. Laughing HARD.

I really need to text Ana and we have GOT to hit the trails, like, at least ONCE before the Run for Regis half marathon. Or we're both in big, big trouble. We'll still do it, of course, but it won't be pretty! It probably won't be pretty with just one trail run before anyway, but what can you do. At least I can pretend I trained on trails. The point of that race, for me, is to have a hella good time running through snow with friends. It's hard to mess up that goal.

I have been hitting some spin classes to mix things up a bit at this great studio near me, Psycle. My buddy Dani is an instructor and I just love the vibe there. Tomorrow is a Christmas themed class and I'm pretty excited! (Nerd alert.)

My goal this vacation is to actually SWIM! IN WATER! WITH GOGGLES! I think I can make it happen. I'm looking forward to getting back in the triathlon routine pretty soon. I'm still working on when to swim but I may have a new buddy to rope into evening swims...(Shannon, you out there?!) The only thing left to do is to pull the trigger and sign up for Rev3. As soon as I get the finances in order, I'm going for it.

2010's race was super awesome, being that I did it 6 months after Baby Bean was born and had as good of a day as I did. I feel like in Rev3 version 2012, though, I need to step it up big time. 5:44 can and will be--yeah, I'm saying it--SHATTERED.

By how much?

Yet to be determined. I'm still thinking about it. Lots of variables at play, so I'll make some difficult yet attainable goals soon. But I'm definitely going to go hard. I've got high expectations.

(You know. Because I'm the kind of person who sits on her couch and watches Beavis and Butthead when she really should be doing more responsible things. Uh, huh huh. Huh huh huh.)

All kidding aside...I am so, so excited for Christmas and to watch it through the eyes of my four year old Bug, who is so full of magic right now that I can hardly stand it.

Christmas is pretty amazing this year, mostly because of this guy

2012 will bring a new member to Team Evotri, our team training camp in April (ack! the epic awesomeness of that is blowing my feeble little mind right now), and lots of races for me, with the big one being in September.

Feels like Christmas is here already!

My sweet Emmy Bean making a tree with her buddy A and A's mommy

Emmy with Adalyn--the daughter of my best friend since 1981

BFFs E and Bug at our Polar Express Movie night, wearing the same PJs, being goofballs. E's daddy and Bug's daddy have been best friends since they were in kindergarten.

Matt and E's daddy, BFFs, with some amazing women's Christmas sweaters on.

Happy holidays to you and yours, and cheers for a happy, healthy, tri-filled 2012!

TST Playlist, 2/100

2011-12-15T21:46:00.001-05:00

So, the Black Keys, one of the NEO's finest, are totally coming with the Arctic Monkeys in March and I am a *little* excited.

(SQUEAL!)

I'm hoping to get a little group of some super cool people together to head down to see the show, so that's on my list of things to do once I get to 3:08pm on December 21st and I get a chance to FREAKING BREATHE.

This video absolutely cracks me up. I heart. Plus, the song is rad.

WOW.

2011-12-15T20:24:00.000-05:00

That's all I have to say right now.

WOW.

The entries coming in for the contest to add a new team member to Team Evotri are just awesome. This is going to be one hard decision for sure!

It's not too late to enter! I'm telling you, being a part of this team is unreal. Go ahead and throw your hat in the ring! Make your 2012 a season to remember!

Origins

2011-12-12T09:26:00.001-05:00

The following is a post I've been asked to contribute to the Team Evotri website on the origins of each team member in the sport of triathlon.

My entry into the sport of triathlon was now ten years ago. I was 23, out of shape, and missing the competition that I got growing up as a swimmer, a fastpitch softball player, and a musician. In all of those disciplines, I competed often, and was never the best or most talented but definitely was driven to make myself better. It resulted in some little perks that largely mattered only to me; like a hard-fought third place medal in the 50 freestyle in 1988 summer league, several scores of "I" at my district Solo and Ensemble contest in very difficult pieces, or batting cleanup on varsity as a sophomore. Seemingly silly little things that no one else would really notice, but to me, were proof that working hard could sometimes make up for a lack of amazing talent.

After college, I entered the so-called "Real World." Not the MTV version. The REAL ONE. The one with bills and 168 students and rent payments and WOW-this-is-not-what-I-thought-it-would-be's.

I drank a lot of coffee. I called home quite a bit. I consumed quite a bit of junk calories in the form of Skyline Chili and Graeter's Ice Cream.

I wanted to push hard again.

I think I read about triathlons in some fitness magazine that I read while probably eating ice cream in the summer sometime. Something called a "sprint distance." Well, I thought, that can't be TOO hard...I know I can swim that distance. I can probably ride a bike that far if I really try. And I have completed a 5K--once. I called up my buddy Shannon, who was totally hardcore and usually up for anything in the form of a challenge, and we picked out a race.

We did it, and little did we know we were well on our way to a new hobby. A new sport.

And really, a new life.

I dropped 35 pounds within the year. I was on such a high from my local sprint triathlon that it led to other things: ending an unhealthy relationship, backing away from the ice cream (oh, who am I kidding--backing away from a DAILY habit at least and introducing a little thing called moderation), and really changing the way I dealt with stress into one focused on fueling myself with positive stuff and exercising away the negative stuff.

I signed up for a marathon, trained, and completed it in 5:14.

I then did a MS150 Charity Bike Tour.

And after that, I got a really crazy idea to do an Ironman.

Since that first race in 2001, I re-met and married my best friend, had two children, ballooned up to over 200 pounds each time and back down again, all while training and racing through every step along the way.

I'm still not the best, but I'm still getting better.

I'm proud that my children know what I do and "do exercises" like Mommy does. I hope that my love of triathlon and of fitness and health will help them deal positively with whatever challenges come their way. I've helped train students to get to the finish line of their first triathlons, and love watching where it takes them. This summer, I will be starting a Mom's group to train for a local triathlon, and I am literally giddy with excitement.

And through Evotri, I've been lucky enough and feel honored to be introduced to some of the most positive, inspiring, amazing individuals in the universe, all while being supported by unbelievable sponsors and opportunities.

So to that tired, stressed, overwhelmed, out-of-shape 23-year-old girl who clicked "REGISTER" on the Fairport Harbor Triathlon website in 2001?

Thanks for everything.

Dear Santa

2011-12-09T21:35:00.001-05:00

I promise I've been a very good girl. I am pretty confident I'm not on the naughty list. I may throw temper tantrums from time to time but only for good reasons...like poop water flooding my basement last February, for instance. Certainly, Santa, if there's ever a time for some four-letter words, that would be acceptable, no?

Could you just pretend you didn't hear, maybe?

Anyway, I've been thinking long and hard about what I want for Christmas this year.

And it's THIS. The half, of course, Santa. I'm mildly tri-obsessed, but not quite that crazy.

So I will wait, Santa, until a few bills get paid and maybe a few things get sold on Craigslist to fund my Christmas wish.

Because this upcoming season, Santa, I think I'm going to kick all kinds of a--well, you know.

(I'm trying to be good here.)

Love,
TST

TST Playlist: 1/100

2011-12-06T21:12:00.001-05:00

I love reading some of my friend's music picks of the week, and I thought I'd throw up one of mine every week or so. I've always always always loved music--pretty much every kind, except country. I'm sorry, country fans. I really am. With the exception of the year I lived in Cincinnati, I have not ever nor do I plan on ever listening to country music. We'll have to agree to disagree on that one.

One of my besties from college, Mindy, was so awesome at making "mixes." Of course, back then, they were actual mix tapes. Because iPods weren't invented yet and mp3s were barely even in existence and YES I'M OLD OKAY SO THERE.

Regardless, she was Mix Master Mynd. And even today, whenever I am lucky enough to see her, she always has a new mix for me, all ready to go.

So I'm going to start now on a journey from 1-100 on my TST Playlist. We'll start with a little song that came on the iPod when I was running tonight and even though it's old, I was surprised at how much it made me want to kick so much butt. I picked up my pace just a little bit, and was able to ride out my high from Saturday's race a little while longer. This song will be one of those that forever will take me back to age 16, when I felt like I could seriously BE a character on My So Called Life, when I floated between cliques like a chameleon--never quite feeling at home in any particular one, the sound of the slamming of lockers and the taste of fountain Diet Cokes from McDonalds, and the feeling of wondering where I was heading next.

I Got By With a Lotta Help From My Friends

2011-12-04T10:25:00.001-05:00

Or, "How To Finally Get Out of Your Freaking Head"

Or, "How I Managed to Finally Do What I Really Knew I Could Do"

Or, "How to Almost Puke in the Finisher's Chute."

(All titles I considered for this post.)

The short, sweet version:

My previous PR (I had to do a lot of research on this!) in the 5K was NOT what I ran last month. No, I dug WAAAAAYYY back in the archives of my old bibs scattered in a box in my closet (very scientific research) and found that 23:43 was my best time, in 2003.

TWO THOUSAND THREE.

As in, before iPods weighed less than my old-school graphing calculator from high school. When Justin Bieber was NINE. When Britney was still Britney.

New PR, 8 years later, 2 pregnancies later: 22:52. 7:23/mile pace, 7/153 AG

Mind = kind of blown, but at the same time, feeling of relief, that I'm finally starting to do what I should be doing.

/end short version/

LONG Version...

All week I was nervous. My buddy B had thrown out the idea, "what if we just let the fast chicks (aka Salty and NC) pace us on their easy slow middle-miles-of-their-long-run?"

And I was really not sure. First, because B was suggesting a pace that was borderline insane for me. She wanted to go sub-6:59. Do I think I can do that? Actually, yes. On the right day, I think I can. But I also knew that I've never, NEVER been able to hold more than a 7:38 pace on a 5K. EVER. So to aim that high right now was probably a recipe for disaster.

But I wanted to try. I know that I'm better than a 7:38 pace--I've just never been able to run that distance smart enough to do it.

Then I took the more modified approach of going hard, but staying reasonable. Instead of going for a sub-7 now, how about I do something still hard but more doable--a 22:30, or a 7:15 pace--which would still be a HUGE PR but not quite as high of a reach as a sub-7 pace?

So that's what I settled in on.

Race morning was busy--and kind of chilly. I wasn't sure what to wear and I changed my outfit at the last second--B came prepared and had an extra thin shirt (and I was really regretting NOT wearing shorts, but there was nothing I could do about that then). So the resulting outfit was the most mis-matched, fugly assortment of colors ever.

Ben, Salty, E, DaisyDuc, David, Me, JenC, and CV

I hung with some of my buddies at the start and we did a warmup. A few things I did differently in this race:

1. Warmed up LONGER. I usually do 1/2 mile and call it good enough. I did 1.5 miles with JenC and B and noticed I felt much better--actually warm, despite the 38 degrees and slight winds. Warm enough to peel off my gloves (good decision).

2. Skipped the coffee. Coffee does me VERY well on long-distance races. It does NOT do me well on 5Ks. The last two 5Ks, I've felt my stomach gurgling coffee in the last mile and it's not pretty. I thought I'd try without and see how it went.

3. Did NOT wear a watch. Yes, I ran naked. Naked sans watch, that is. My Garmin is great, but it has been messing with my head. I firmly believe that on Turkey Dash, when I saw my first mile at 7:26 and I didn't feel great, I gave up and phoned the rest in. I didn't want to do that this time.

4. Actually remembered to use my inhaler about 2 hours before the race. I'm pretty sure I have at least some form of exercise-induced asthma, which I've had checked out and no one can really seem to give me a definitive answer. But I do have an inhaler that I'm supposed to use on hard efforts, and the last two races I've forgotten. DOH.

So I was all warmed up and ready to go. I made it to the start, and my buddy ESpeed was there to cheer her head off and document, so all pictures credit to E! She wasn't racing this week because she raced the Philly Marathon last weekend and finished in 2:51. You know, NO BIG DEAL. :) She's a rock star!

E, marathon supastar, as Rudolph the Red Nosed Cheerleader

Salty was going to pace B and local superhero racer, NC, was going to pace me. They were in the middle of their long runs. Never mind that NC could have beaten most of the guys at the race today--pretty sure E said she ran a FREAKING 16:38 in a 5K last weekend--amazing! So my plan was to hang onto NC for dear life. She asked what pace, "7s or so?" and I said that if I could hold 7:15s, I'd be ecstatic. So we set out to do that.

This race is SO fun. Everyone was in the Christmas spirit and we saw some great costumes:

OMG, I don't know who this guy is, but I LOVE HIM. "Merry Christmas....sh--ter's full"--Cousin Eddie

Lots of runners in the Christmas spirit!

There were over 1500 racers there! Including my awesome Mom, and a whole bunch of my running sistas. I wish I could see them all more often!

First mile was crazy--we were trying to weave in and out of cars and people and NC was great pointing to me where to go. "That way!" "There--go there!" So I basically bowed to her orders and did whatever she told me to do.

Despite my efforts to not look at a watch, they had clocks up at the mile markers. This was still okay, since I saw my time but wasn't glancing at my wrist every 3.2359 seconds. We hit the first mile in 7:15 on the time clock (which was a bit less than that--probably around 7:08 since it was chip timed and I started 7 seconds back). I felt strong, but like this was the fastest I could hold. "Pick it up?" NC asked me. "No..." I panted. "I think I'd better...just..hold this." So we did.

This sums up my thinking: a face of anxiety here! NC leading me on, basically sleepwalking for her

2nd mile the clock said 14:30. NC pointed to it and said, "See? We're good!" And I thought, holy crap, I just ran two even miles. Hard. Can I really do this?

Now, of course, it was starting to get hard. NC was high-fiving people and basically walking. I was trying to will my legs to keep moving. "One more mile!" said NC. "What's your fastest mile time?" she asked. "I....have no ...idea...never...ran one mile..." I gasped. She must have thought I was such an amateur! Ha!

She weaved me in and out of a few small packs. I noticed that I am pretty sure in the end of the race, I follow packs. NC had me passing packs. That's a different mindset for me. I do that in tris a lot, but never seem to pull the trigger in road races. It is probably a confidence thing. I need to trust that I can pull away from packs, especially late in the race. She showed me that I could, and I did.

Now it was really hurting. I saw E at about 2.5 and she was cheering lots!

Hurting, but knowing it's almost over

We hit mile 3 and the guy was yelling out times and I heard "21 fiftysomething" and I thought, HOLY CRAP. This is gonna happen. "Less than a minute of hard running!" NC yelled. "Finish strong! Through the chute!" I mustered up whatever I had left and crossed the line in what the clock said was 22:59. Then I doubled over and dry heaved a few times. Cue the song that my husband has ingrained in my mind whenever I dry heave (this is what happens to you when you're married to a metalhead):

NC ran off with Salty to finish her long run and I didn't get to tell her how freaking amazing she was. Major, major race karma sent her way for helping me! THANKS, NC!

I found B and found out that she SHATTERED her goal and ran an amazing 21:06! B, you kick SERIOUS butt! And Salty was so proud of her, too!

Salty hamming it up, and B hanging on and killing it

JenC beat her best time by 50 seconds, too!

JenC, finishing strong to a PR!

And CV was 2nd overall female on her birthday! Yay, CV!

My super awesome Mom ran a 34:25, just a FEW SECONDS SHY of her PR, a 34:03, that she set 4 years ago! She just keeps getting better--SO PROUD OF YOU, MOM! I hope I'm still killing it when I hit her age group like she does! :)

We all celebrated afterwards at OHOP, our favorite pancake place! I ate myself something silly.

B, Daisy, Ben, and CV: the ladies showing off their green AG and Overall Awards Hats!

JenC, me, and E waiting for pancake deliciousness

the superawesome GP and David, E's hubby, who bested his time by 4 minutes!!

Then I got home, took Bug to the pool for 3 hours, cleaned up, and had date night at two of my FAVORITE places ever in the NEO: Luxe restaurant Cleveland and dessert at Sweet Moses in the Gordon Square Arts District on Detroit. Pretty much a perfect day, with a perfect race.

This is a great way to end the season. I finally did what I knew I could do, but had a lot of help from my friends to get me there. Now, I need to trust myself and let this carry into next season. I need to bring some of my triathlon mentality into road racing, too, and trust myself more.

I proved today that I've got it in me. And I'm pretty sure if I dig deeper next time, I've got a bit more.

DID IT!

2011-12-03T12:44:00.001-05:00

I DID IT!

I FINALLY ran what I felt was a good, solid effort on a 5K--with HUUUUUGGGGE help from marathon superstar NC who paced me and encouraged me the whole way!

22:52!

LOTS more to say, but I just wanted to throw that up there while I had time--off to take Bug to the pool to celebrate. :)

I know I just said I wasn't going to do this...

2011-12-01T20:00:00.001-05:00

...but curiosity got the best of me. I had two more friends tell me that I looked like I had lost some weight, so I was curious enough to see what that meant.

You should have heard the conversation in my head before I stepped on.

You know if this is high, it doesn't matter, right?

Yeah, yeah...I know.

No, SERIOUSLY. You know that you are fit and that you dropped a dress size. Understand that whatever this thing says won't change that.

I know...I know! I think.

NO I THINK!

Okay, okay....I know. I really know.

So I got on the scale, with much the same curiosity that led me to step on the scale when I was in labor with Bean. Just to see. Just to see where the highest ever in my life would be.

Today? I saw the lowest since about 11th grade.

62 pounds down from Bean.

Gotta admit, that felt good. I believe the strength work is helping a lot, and of course, I can always get fitter. But given what we've got going on around here, I'm quite happy tonight.

Now, QUICK! Where's my ice cream? And those Reese's trees?

Come on...just ONE...

:)

Serendipitous November Triathlon

2011-11-27T20:28:00.001-05:00

So I know I said before that it would be my last time on the bike for a while, but WAIT! It wasn't! I'm pretty sure yesterday was. 64 and sunny on November 26th in the NEO?

Global warming, I hate you every day BUT YESTERDAY.

This weekend has been amazeballs. We hosted Thanksgiving dinner for 14 people on Thursday after I ran the Turkey Dash in the morning. Friday we all relaxed and slept in until after 9! That's the equivalent of sleeping until noon in college, or, even doing what TriShannon and DaisyDuc and I used to do which was BARELY making the 1:30pm Saturday brunch cutoff in our dorm where the dining hall was BELOW US. Yes, oh laziness, we set the bar quite high. So 9am was much needed, and completely relaxing.

Saturday I went for a run with Ana in shorts again with a shiny orb in the sky. It is really unheard of this time of year, so we soaked that up for all it was worth and got in 8 miles at a conversational sub-9 pace! I was very happy with that since my legs were still a little heavy from the race. Then, I went home, helped Matt hang up some Christmas lights, chased Bug and Bean around for a bit, and then put Bean down for a nap. Matt went in to watch the Michigan game (we are a house divided, you see--I still say GO BUCKS), Bug was playing cars, and I looked out the window to still see 64 degrees and sunshine.

I was pretty tired after my run and chasing the kiddies around all morning.

But that sun.

And that warmth.

And, once again, it's late November.

I just couldn't pass it up. I checked the forecast and, indeed, this looked to be it (for realz this time) for a while. Sunday would be kind of warm but really rainy, so if I wanted to get out today would be it.

I put on my big girl pants (errr, bike shorts) and went out for another workout. But I way overdressed! I had to ditch my Evotri jacket at the first park by my house and tied it all stealth-mode to a tree. I hoped it would be there when I got back (I was pretty sure it would be, and it was).

At the turnaround, I even ditched my leg warmers! And the world got to see my pasty white legs one last time before May or so!

Pastiest white legs this side of the Mississippi!

Seriously, I was so freaking happy to be riding. To quote the late, great, Freddie Mercury, I love to ride my bicycle, I love to ride my bike. I love the NEO, but get kind of sad that I miss riding for a good 2-3 months outside on a regular basis. Trainer workouts can kick your butt, too, and there is value in that, but there's nothing like getting outside. It was CRAZY windy, though. At one point I was pushing almost 300 watts and going 12.2 miles per hour!

This is my "I can't believe it's 64 degrees today!" face

Got back, took a quick shower just so I didn't scare people, and went to my buddy SimplyMarried's pool party for Sweet A's 2nd birthday. So, if you count me chasing Bug and Bean around a pool for 2 hours, then I pretty much did a triathlon Saturday. Score!

Picture courtesy of my super cool buddy, SimplyMarried

And Saturday night? I was toast! I fell asleep right after Bug at about 8:47pm. It was awesome.

Now it is raining and the cold front is moving in--probably for good. But I feel like I did cheat a little bit this November, and for that, I am ridiculously grateful.

So here's to beating the conventional Northeastern Ohio triathlon season. And hey, while we're at it, how about you check out my awesome team, Team Evotri, and our contest to add a new member? We are so excited to add someone to the family next year!

Happy Training!

Gratitude

2011-11-24T12:14:00.001-05:00

Today, on Thanksgiving, I am thankful for so much...

My husband, who has more patience than any person I know in the universe.

My family, who never ceases to amaze me with their love and strength.

My sweet little boy, who is growing like a weed and who tells me he loves me "to the moon and back."

My baby girl, who is hilarious and determined and snuggly and a talker and very much my girl.

For my running and triathlon buddies, whom I love seeing at the races.

For my friends, who make me a better person every single day.

For my career, which challenges me and never gives me the same day twice.

For a hard run, and for the reminder that even if today wasn't my day, there's always another race. Another day. Another chance to breathe hard again.

For hosting dinner for all of my family tonight, and washing all these serving platters and dishes to prepare. And for realizing that the life I dreamed about eight years ago when I picked all this stuff out is right here, right now.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Love,
TST

Making the Team, 2012

2011-11-21T20:35:00.006-05:00

Now entering its sixth year, the members of Team Evotri continue to challenge themselves and others to live a healthy and active lifestyle through endurance sports. They have been given an extraordinary opportunity to train and race with the same equipment and coaching as the pros. They continue to dedicate themselves to maximizing their potential, to sharing what they learn from their experiences, and to making a positive contribution to the endurance sport community.

Team Evotri is again ready to welcome a new member to the family. For 2012, Team Evotri and its sponsors have pulled together a one-of-a-kind package to provide an age group athlete the opportunity to train and race like a PRO, while giving back to the triathlon and endurance community. The current team members will be looking for an individual who embraces the spirit of triathlon: a positive attitude, enthusiasm for the sport, desire to improve, and dedication to give back to the endurance community. Years of triathlon experience and good race results are not deciding factors in choosing a winner, but passion is.

The next team member will benefit by receiving an excellent package courtesy of the team's sponsors:

QuintanaRoo will provide a top-of-the-line CD0.1 frameset with innovative shift technology that will undoubtedly take your bike splits to a new level.
Zipp Speed Weaponry knows just how to outfit a frame like the CD0.1 with a 404 front and 808 rear wheel set.
SRAM will add to the bike with its latest cockpit and drivetrain components.
CycleOps finishes the bike off with its cutting edge SL+ wireless PowerTap hub and Joule 2.0 computer.
HUB Endurance puts it all together providing a full year of expert triathlon coaching to deliver the newest Evotri athlete to the top of their potential in 2012.

Here's how you can be the next Team Evotri member:

Create a video that's no longer than three (3) minutes. The video should answer the following three questions:

Why Evotri?
Why You?
Can you Evotri?

Guidelines:

Videos must be posted to Team Evotri's Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/evotri.
Videos must be posted by December 31, 2011, at 11:59 PM CST.
Videos not within the time constraints will not be considered.

Process:

The current team members will select finalists from the video submissions.
The finalists will be notified by January 15, 2012 and will be invited to be interviewed via teleconference by current team members.
The winner will be announced on February 1, 2012.

Important Notes:

By posting a video to Evotri's Facebook page, candidates grant contest affiliates permission to use said video for promotional purposes affiliated with Team Evotri and the 2012 contest.
The winner of the team slot forfeits all awards if he/she is unable to continue as a team member for any reason for a period within two years of joining the team.
The winner of the team slot agrees to contribute to the Team Evotri web site for as long as he/she is a member of Team Evotri.
The winner agrees to race in an Evotri team uniform for all multisport events. Winner to purchase choice of uniform apparel upon final selection.
The winner of the team slot must participate in the yearly Team Evotri event. The 2012 event is a training camp in Chattanooga, TN from April 12-15, 2012. You must be present for the entire time.
No reimbursement will be made by Team Evotri or its sponsors for the creation, submission or any other expenses associated with the video entry.
No reimbursement will be made by Team Evotri or its sponsors for any travel, lodging, race entry fees, or other associated expenses in attending Team Evotri activities.

Seriously. Please tell my head it's NOVEMBER.

2011-11-14T20:36:00.003-05:00

Why can't I stop thinking about tris?

What has gotten into me?

Here are a few theories:

1. I am working my butt off. Working through most lunches while grading, grading late at night, finding some sweet new lessons for my APs and trying to really integrate my new iPads I got through my grant for World. This is good, but makes me really tired.

2. My kids have a level of energy that would make a squirrel on about 19 shots of espresso look slow.

3. I miss throwing my energy into races. I enjoy where I'm putting my energy now, but I do miss a good, hard, last mile at the end of a tri where I'm chasing someone or some goal. I heart that, and I haven't really had it since August (save the 5K where I accidentally broke my 9 year old PR for literally no rational reason).

So, I emailed Ana to see if I could talk her into something crazy--doing Rev3 Cedar Point with me next year. And you know her response?

"Oh my goodness...this would take some TJ (husband) convincing. Are you sure I won't drown?"

To which I thought, SHE DIDN'T SAY NO! VICTORY IS MINE!

Now here's the problem. Since early September I've been acting pretty much like a duathlete. Which a duathlete, I am not, people. I am a triathlete through and through. So I MUST get back in the pool. But how?

Sigh.

I have to make this work somehow. Some ideas I'm tossing around:

1. Picking one morning a week to go before school but I'd have to go straight to school. This requires a good deal of coordination on my end (bags, breakfast, lunch, clothes, etc.) and would not be fun for Matt since he'd have to get both kids out of the house solo by 7:00am which he's really good at but still it's kind of a headache. Four hands from 6:45am-7:00am are really almost a necessity.

2. Pick one day after school and go directly from school, hopping in the water sometime around 3:40, so I can be home by dinner. Pros--relatively convenient for Matt and I . Cons--I just hate spending more time away from the kids after school, even if it is one measly hour.

3. Go at night, after Bean is in bed and while Bug is getting put to bed. Judging by the schedule, this would need to be probably Monday or Wednesday. Pros: no missing time with Bug or Bean and easiest on Matt. Cons: OMG, do you understand how HARD it is to get motivated to head OUT to swim at 8pm? ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I've been running, riding, and lifting mostly at night or in the wee hours of the morning lately. Realistically, I think Option 3 is probably my best bet. But man, that's gonna be hard. I'm going to need someone to hold me accountable. DO YOU HEAR ME, INTERWEBS?

I'm going to keep doing some thinking, crunching, and pool-scheduling research, but my goal is to get back in the water in December. I need to put the tri back in this athlete.

A Funny Thing About That...

2011-11-13T20:46:00.002-05:00

So I'm sitting here, after enjoying a fully warmer-than-usual weekend with the family. Last week was insanity at work and I had a million things going on at the exact same time, so on the weekends I try to go on full-on hibernation mode and just chill. Of course, chilling involved a 7 mile run with Bean (in a jogging stroller that was pulling to the right the entire time--hello, right core muscles this morning! Owie!) and a solid spin session and weights today. But I fit it in between chocolate chip pancakes, Phineas and Ferb, and a few hours at the Zoo.

Weekends like this with sunshine and warm temperatures make me think of races. And how I miss them. So here are my very very very preliminary plans for 2012:

January 15th: Run for Regis Trail Half Marathon. I am so crazy excited for this--talked Ana into it and we may not be able to prepare much on trails, but it will be super fun anyway!

St. Malachi 5 Mile: It's kinda a rite of spring for Cleveland runners. You just have to be there.

Chattanooga Team Evotri Training Camp: Words cannot express the sheer awesomeness this will be. I am so so so pumped to hang with my teammates and do nothing but swim, bike, and run (okay, and maybe eat and sleep some too) for a long weekend!

Cleveland Half Marathon: Oh yeah, baby. It's on. I plan on puking at the end. In a good way.

A few assorted local tris, including Huntington and Lorain: TBD

And the one I'm toying with....Rev3 Cedar Point. No additions will be put onto my house next year, which means things won't be nearly as nutso as they were this summer. I still won't have enough time to train the way I used to, but who does have enough time to train exactly the way they want to, right? If I do this, I want to do it well and PR. This would mean under 5:44 (and in my head I'm already saying as close to 5:30 as I can get), which I am confident I could do, provided I have the blessing of my family (namely Matt). So I'm still mulling it over and probably will for the next few months.

So that's the tentative deal. I do need to get back to the pool soon, though. I'm still working out those details, since unfortunately, the last time I checked there was no 50 meter pool in my basement. The nerve.

The last thing I wanted to note of record is that several people have told me lately that I look like I've lost weight. Like, more in the past month than I've had in a long time. Which is interesting, because it was just about 2 months ago I decided I was done weighing myself. Like, probably forever.

I was one of those people who weighed myself every day, because I thought it would keep me on track. Which it did, for a while. But then it got to the point that it would dictate my day. Half a pound up because I had some pretzels the day before? I AM A FAILURE. Day ruined. I started to realize that this was quite silly. I know, I know. It only took me 34 years.

I decided I wouldn't be a slave to that stupid thing anymore. I know myself to know well enough that I wasn't going to get huge and bloated and let myself go a la Val Kilmer (I mean, seriously. Have you seen that guy lately? Where is my volleyball scene from Top Gun Val Kilmer? Sigh.) I planned on eating as well as I could and trying to be better about weights (like, 2 times a week, and no excuses--at least some pushups, chinups, lunges and core for crying out loud). So that's what I did.

I have no idea what I weigh. I am pretty sure it is about the same as usual. But I don't care.

I must be doing something right, so I'm gonna keep doing it. And I really don't want to know what the number is. It's not worth risking how good I am feeling. What if it's up? And then, DAY RUINED. I'm finally just kind of done with that.

For now, ignorance is bliss!

Big news--HUGE news, actually--coming very very soon from Team Evotri, too! I can't wait to share! But I have to. Trust me, though...2012 will be an awesome year.

The Responsible Thing to Do

2011-11-06T19:48:00.005-05:00

I am usually very responsible.

Really, I am.

Already, I've spent about four and a half hours grading my DBQs for APUSH. Little by little, dent by dent, red pen mark by red pen mark, I'm getting through them.

To grade each one correctly requires a good deal of attention.

And focus.

And patience.

And lots and lots of writing: theirs, and mine, too.

But today, we got an extra hour. Which I could easily have spent grading...again. It probably would have been the responsible thing to do during naptime, after we played at the park and went up and down the slides all morning, even though I did a good 2 hours this morning.

But, you see, today is November 6th.

And it's Northeastern Ohio.

And during naptime? It was 64 degrees, light winds, and not a cloud in the sky.

Which means, of course, that trainer ride I had on the schedule? Yeah, that's now being replaced by a ride outside.

Getting ready to hop on my Quintana Roo CD.01

*click, click...zooooommmmm*

A mid-ride snap

The great thing about rides outside in the sun in November in Northeastern Ohio is that it feels like such a gift, which really, every ride should feel like. I know that soon it will be gray here...gray sky, gray slushy snow, gray clouds. Soon enough, for sure.

A tiny example of the colors I saw...this was where I turned around

But today? Today was full of color.

Blue sky. Bright green grass. Bright blue lake. And the leaves were falling fast, but were still beautiful.

There was nothing gray about my ride today. Today was full of crayola leaves, of red and pink and orange and burnt sienna and goldenrod. And soon enough, I'll be running in the gray, bundled up with icicles on my eyelashes, but today was a huge inhale of color that I'll remember to carry me through the gray. And know that even if it is gray, it's still a gift.

Standing in my driveway after my ride, looking up

The Best Chilly Morning Breakfast EVER

2011-10-30T14:59:00.002-05:00

I don't know about you, but when October hits, I become OBSESSED with pumpkins.

Pumpkin spice lattes?

YES PLEASE.

Pumpkin bread, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin pancakes?

GET IN MAH BELLY!

The trouble with this is that all of the above are really pretty loaded with sugar. And that plus the fact that it's easy to just throw on the yoga pants and oversized sweatshirt (it's cold, right?) makes it oh-so-tempting to succumb to the waistline-wrecking ball that is pumpkin flavored pastry or caffeinated goodness.

But stay strong, brothers and sisters!

I have found something that is just as tasty and is not nearly as full of sugar as all my favorite pumpkin goodies. AND, it's awesome after an early morning (or late evening if your schedule is as crazy as mine!) crisp fall tempo run.

(Disclaimer: I rarely bake, because I hate measuring things. But I love to cook, because food is art. You just keep throwing things together until you get what works best for you. That's my kind of recipe! So I do a little-of-this-and-a-little-of-that, but for the sake of a recipe here I've given my best estimates at measurements. Just try it out until you find the right pinch of everything for you!)

Pumpkin Cranberry Oatmeal

You will need:

1/2 C Quaker Oats

1 C water or skim milk

a pinch of salt, if you so desire

1/4 C or so of canned pumpkin (you can always add more!)

a healthy spoonful of brown sugar (more or less depending on your taste...and how concerned you are about sugar! I usually do about 1 TBSP or so)

a few pinches of pumpkin pie spice (maybe 1/2 teaspoon?)

a handful of sweetened dried cranberries (or any dried fruit, really!)

optional: add some chopped pecans or walnuts to really make it a hearty meal and add some healthy fats!

It's really easy, and takes just a few minutes! Simply prepare the oatmeal, using water or milk (and salt if you desire) in the microwave according to the directions. Then, add a glob of pumpkin puree, a spoon of brown sugar, the pumpkin pie spice, and your cranberries. Mix it all up, and enjoy your healthy pumpkin creation.

Now you can save your extra calories for something even better!

REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER PUMPKINS.

Enjoy, and happy fall running!

What?

2011-10-23T15:58:00.005-05:00

No really.

WHAT?

Are you serious?

Yesterday, I am pretty sure I just beat my previous 5K PR by a second or two.

This is insane on many levels.

1) I am pretty much the least in 5K shape of my life. Or so I thought.

2) I am running MAYBE 15 miles a week.

3) I am not very good at 5Ks anyway.

This time that I set back in 2002 (I think--it's been so long I can't even remember!) which I believe was somewhere around 23:48 or so (again--so long I gave up really trying since I don't do these much anymore) and haven't been able to beat ever since....

I just busted it out yesterday.

According to my watch, 23:47. We'll see what the final times were (UPDATE--They have me at 23:46! Yippeeeeee): this wasn't a chip race, and I was back a bit (now I'm regretting that! DOH!).

To top it off, I even snuck into 3rd in my age group--which means you know it was a small 5K field! Ha ha!

Anyway, I should back up. So this race was literally in my front yard. It didn't run through it but came close, so the Mom and I signed up. Mom had to head out of town due to a last minute family emergency (it hasn't been the greatest 2 weeks in TST land, unfortunately) so it was just me, myself and I. My plan was twofold:

1. Run as hard as I possibly can.

2. Try not to hurl.

I had absolutely NO expectations about this race. I even told my buddy Shannon how NOT in 5K shape I was. I lined up kind of near the front but still pretty much in the middle of the pack. If I could average just under 8--like 7:59 or so--I'd call it a victory, given my lack of mileage. The good thing is that although I don't have many miles, Coach Emily has been giving me some good intensity and I've been doing some hard fartlek stuff. But I had a HORRIBLE run on Monday night. Awful awful awful. I could barely hold low-8s for my TWO MINUTE PUSHES. Ugh. So I really didn't expect much.

The first mile I was going hard, but comfortably hard. I kept looking at the Garmin in a bit of disbelief because it didn't feel that fast. Made it to the first mile marker in 7:23.

The second mile, things got a bit harder and I was laboring more, but the wheels weren't coming off as I expected them to. I tried to follow a few people in front of me who had a good pace and just zone out on them. The second mile was around 7:43 or so. Slower for sure, but given my lack of miles, I knew that would probably happen.

But I still felt pretty good.

It was about here that I realized that if I could hold it together, I might PR. I felt good, and it was hard but not too terribly hard.

Was this really going to happen today? TODAY? Nine years of trying to do this and I don't give a crap and it happens NOW?!

Around 2.5, I was regretting my decision to have coffee. That works really well in my short races for me, but started to make me froth at the mouth and feel nauseas. I let out a fabulous, classy, loogie-spit to the right and put on my big girl panties. It was here that I looked at my watch and knew it would be close. I was slowing down and it was starting to hurt, but I didn't want to get that far and blow up in the last half mile!

Mile 3 was 7:57. Uh oh. Time to turn on the gas!

My last .1 was an average pace of 6:36, which means I had entirely too much gas left in the tank. And when I crossed the line, it said 23:47. And I about freaking laughed, except I was doubled over and wheezing from my lovely allergy-induced asthma. So I just smiled instead.

23:47. And I would say this was the LEAST prepared I'd ever been for a 5K, or really any race.

WOW.

Okay, so what did I do differently than I haven't done in the past? How did I actually pull this off?

1. Hats off to Coach Emily for working with my insane schedule and giving me just the right amount of intensity. I definitely respond much better to low-volume, high-intensity training. This further solidifies that. My best marathon time came on my lowest mileage, and now this?! Geez.

2. I had ZERO expectations. NONE. Therefore, my head was not my worst enemy as it usually is. I just ran as hard as I could, period, the end. No drama. No ridiculous obsessing. No nerves, even. Just run hard, try not to puke, run harder, done.

3. I have been more consistent with strength training. I worked really hard to get my core back after Bean and it's still a work in progress of course, but it's a big focus. I've also worked on large muscles like glutes, hammies, and quads, and kept up with my upper-body stuff. Maybe that helped me not die? I dunno.

Now, what did I learn?

1. This is clearly not even CLOSE to what I am capable of. If I were to have some decent mileage along with intensity, I should be able to do much better than this. Of course now, I'm wondering.

2. This 5K PR bar was set very low.

Me, Anne, and Laura after the race

Okay, so I'm thinking there's really no reason I can't drop down into the low-23s and maybe even get into the high 22s. Yes, that's a dare. You hear me, head? THAT'S A REASONABLE DARE. If I can pull this out of my bum, then I should be able to do better. There's no reason why I can't.

Shannon snapped this one of me getting my medal!

So, I have two more 5Ks on the books that I was doing "just for fun" between now and January 1st. And they will still be for fun. But they might just be a little dare to myself, too. TST, the 5K underachiever, is going to try and drop that bar a bit lower where I know it should be.

Giddyup!

Are you there, blog? It's me, TST.

2011-10-12T21:02:00.007-05:00

I do believe that's the longest I've gone without a post since turning this thing on in November, 2005.

So on that note, hi!

So school is in full-swing and that means I am, too. Lots going on, not much time to talk about it. Just a quick post to say I'm alive and well, and enjoying this fall weather. Stepping back a bit the past month or so to just work out for the sake of working out...for health, to burn off some steam, and to relax a bit. There is nothing that I am training for at the moment, and it's pretty awesome. I have a few things on my radar, but overall, I am back to the land of the solo workouts squeezed in whenever I can. I've decided the early morning isn't working out so well for me for a multitude of reasons, and switched to late at night and mid-afternoon on the weekends during Bean's nap. So far, it's been a nice switch and I'm enjoying it.

My workouts are lonely. But right now? Lonely is nice. I'm surrounded by people all day and talk ALL DAY and it's nice to be alone, with silence, just for a bit. Me and my bike. The sound of my feet on the sidewalk. The sound of me not swimming at all.

(Well, actually, that last one blows. But I'm working on getting some pool time going soon.)

Days are so busy I barely have time for lunch, because I just won't bring much home. I am really trying to leave work at work, which, of course, in our culture is growing increasingly difficult. So I work my booty off pretty much straight from 7:15am until 4, and then it's time for pushing Bug on the swing, saying new words with Bean (her new fave? "down!"), loving my crock pot in a mildly obsessive manner, and chasing around a newly-minted 4 year old and a tiny little girl who is almost 20 months old and cracks me UP.

I'll be back, I promise. But I'm in survival mode. Survival-solo mode, but it's all good.

Enjoy the fall weather, wherever you may be!

Calm Before the Storm

2011-09-04T19:06:00.003-05:00

I wanted to ride today.

It's been a long week, and I just wanted to sneak out for a bit before the fun but tiring whirlwind day started. So I checked the radar just to be sure I could fit it in before the storms that pretty much cancelled the Michigan game yesterday hit us. I thought I'd be okay, but I just wanted to be sure.

Ugh.

It said I had a small window of opportunity, but I'd need to be back by 9am. That wasn't really what I wanted to see. It was already 7:42. I pondered. I himmed. I hawwed.

I got out and quickly pumped up the tires and put my cell phone in a baggie and told Matt, "I may be calling you from the side of the road, k? bye" and as I stood in the driveway, I heard the rolls of thunder.

Crap.

Do I go?

A guy walking his dog looked at me like I was nuts and I told him, "I'm thinking about heading out...what do you think?" He told me he saw the radar so I might be able to do "maybe six quick miles." (I was thinking maybe more like 25 quick miles, but I kept my mouth shut.) So I told him I was just going to do it, and I rolled out.

I headed west, because, you know, when a storm's coming in from the west that's the smartest thing to do.

(or not)

The sky was dark and I was sure that I was going to get absolutely nailed. I put my head down, got aero, and was determined to make it a good solid ride. If I'm going to get soaked and this is going to be nuts, then I'd better damn well make it count.

This week school started, which is busy and fun and emotionally draining and exciting and overwhelming and absolutely EXHAUSTING all at the same time. Our family went back to school this week.

And our family went back to chemo this week, too.

Another school year; another September battle. This time we know a bit more of what we're up against at least. And the will to fight never ceases to amaze me.

I rode into that storm and pushed hard on those pedals. I got out some much-needed aggression. Sometimes, even though it isn't ideal, you just have to put on the obnoxious fluorescent orange jersey, put your head down, and send yourself headfirst into a storm.

But you know the craziest thing?

The heavens never opened up. The farther I rode west, the brighter the sky got. And even now it gets me a bit choked up. I think it was someone trying to tell me something.

As bad as things may look, if you soldier on through, the sun just might come out.

And then, it's just another beautiful morning.

A New Season

2011-09-03T13:25:00.004-05:00

Well, my triathlon season is at an end. Sad face. I had so much fun this summer even though I spent the first part of it nursing my hammy. I was very proud and happy to end on such good notes at Huntington and Lorain, and I look forward to next summer and making the local tri circuit rounds again!

I am SO EXCITED also about what is to come for Team Evotri. Partnering with Quintana Roo is already completely awesome. I can tell they are as excited about us joining the QR family as we are! I got my new CD0.1, and it is pretty amazing. I can't wait to take it out for some good fall rides, and winning my age group on it for my first race definitely made me a happy racer!

Someone else likes it, too.

My Bug is turning 4 in less than a month. It makes me really happy to see how much he values being active, and to think that Matt and I have helped to foster that in him makes us both really proud. He loves to do "exercises" and "stretches" and "ride bikes like Mommy." He also loves to watch me swim laps and thinks it's funny when I splash him on a flip turn. And he gets so excited to watch his daddy play soccer, too. (Daddy is one hell of an athlete, BTW. He just is so modest-slash-quiet that you never hear him talk about it!)

Fitting in my workouts gets tricky during the school year and usually involves me rising at some insane hour. I'm hoping to rope Ana into a run here and there before I head off to work, and definitely take the CD0.1 out on the weekends, too. And I'm definitely looking forward to mixing things up a bit here in the off-season. Maybe a 5K (I sure could use a new PR and am pretty confident I probably could do it), perhaps the Buckeye Trail Half Marathon in January (because running in 2 feet of snow = awesome), some work in the pool, and hopefully I'll even be able to fit in some group trainer rides once the weather turns nasty.

Dances With Dirt is coming up soon and let's just say my team has the BEST THEME EVER. Plus, it's a lot of my favorite running pals that I just don't get to see nearly enough. So I can't wait to head to Hell, Michigan, for some fun and crazy miles!

So the triathlons may be winding down, except for those in the warmer climes, but that doesn't mean you can't still have some fun! Sign up for something new. Dust off the speed in a shorter race--or hit a new distance in a longer one. Take your bike out for some fun rides with friends and enjoy the fall mornings (go ahead, buy yourself a sweet long-sleeved jersey or some arm warmers! You've earned it, I'm sure) Be active, and have fun.

The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done

2011-08-29T18:37:00.004-05:00

The hardest thing I've ever attempted is being a working athlete mother. And I even have quite a bit of help, in the form of an amazing husband and family. But for some reason this past week seems to have been particularly tough. Tough physically, and especially emotionally.

Because, and I realize this is a good problem to have, there is simply too much for me to love and not enough hours in the day for me to fit it all in. I would never NOT want to work where I do. I would never NOT want to spend every waking second with Bug and Bean. And I can't even wrap my head around not working out at least 4 days a week.

So, by the wayside goes the unnecessary.

My beloved lengthy race reports, filled with pictures, for a start. Followed by all remnants of a clean and orderly house, dinner that involves more than a protein, a veggie, and brown rice, and afternoon workouts. I actually thought I could run after school today. Ha! Silly me. I know better. Even if I could somehow get that in (which it was literally impossible), all I ever want to do after school is spend time with Bug and Bean. And Bug's totally NOT down with the jogging stroller (yeah...he's been done with that for a while now).

Here it is, with random pictures and thoughts and I've got 15 minutes here so that's what you're gonna get:

Lorain Sprint Tri

I came, I did not have my heart in it, I tried to put my heart into it as much as I could, I still did pretty darn good.

Swim: Awful awful awful, but I didn't panic, which I take to be a result of me swimming in pretty rough conditions a few times this summer. So sucking is not good, but at least I didn't suck AND panic. Lots to work on here. I lost it in the swim on this race, and could have had a better finishing position with a better swim. Took a wrong turn in T1 to boot and had to turn back around. Awesome. Arg. 3/6 AG (<-----boo.)

Bike: Just didn't really have my head in the game here. Official results have me at 21.4 crazy miles per hour, which sounds awfully purty but is just not true. The course was a little short and I had 20.3 on my Joule, which is just about on par with what I did at Huntington. But only 160 watts?! Boo. I can do better. Held back a bit due to fears after a derailleur malfunction the night before, so kept it in pretty much the same gear the whole time. I should have trusted it a bit more, but wanted to have a good run so just kept on in the same gear. 1/6 AG

Run: Very proud of this. 25:05, which is an entire minute faster than Huntington. And I felt pretty awful! I could swear I was crawling. I need to take at least 90 more seconds off here. Work to be done, but definite progress! (1/6 AG)

All in all? Work to be done, but isn't there always and ain't that why I love this stuff? I muddled through after a challenging week and I didn't have my head in the game like I did at Huntington. So to finish where I did felt awesome.

5/52 overall females (a few seconds out of 4th--poop sandwich!)

1/6 Age Group (small field, but I finished just shy of 8 minutes ahead of 2nd, so pretty happy!)

Here are a few pics at least, courtesy of my awesome Mom:

And now I'm going to collapse. Goodnight!

Evotri and Quintana Roo!

2011-08-23T13:32:00.000-05:00

Evotri Age Group Triathlon Team Partners with Quintana Roo

Chattanooga, Tenn. – August 17, 2011 – For the 2012 season, Quintana Roo is excited to partner with Team Evotri to provide each of the team members with the bike that Triathlete Magazine has called "the most innovative in the past decade from any brand," the CD0.1. The QR Shift Series is the only line of aerodynamic bikes designed specifically to minimize the substantial drag created by the drivetrain. QR's exclusive 18 millimeter offset downtube SHIFT Technology diverts concentrated airflow away from the drive side to produce a true, measureable bike-course advantage for every athlete at every level.

“We are very much looking forward to the partnership with Team EVOTRI for the upcoming season,” said Peter Hurley, QR CEO. “Having active social networking athletes on the CD0.1 for 2012 and beyond is an exciting direction Quintana Roo is heading.”

Team Evotri was conceived in 2007 based around the idea of finding out what happens when age group triathletes of all ability levels are provided with top coaching, technology and precision equipment. The team currently has eight members who share their journey via blogs, podcasts and social networking.

Evotri’s team model has been proven successful since 3 of the 8 age group athletes have qualified for the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii for the first time after joining the team. Other team members have also seen substantial improvements resulting from the team sponsorship package. The Evotri team also focuses on giving back to the triathlon community through organizing one of the fastest growing training camps for the Ironman distance. Held every summer, the Wisconsin Ironman Brick Adventure (WIBA) is a completely free weekend full of solid training, good sportsmanship and a wealth of knowledge.

Evotri Team Manager, Stu Joannes ("Simply Stu") states, "When I walked my rickety old bike into my first triathlon years ago, I remember seeing an incredible bike with a cool name - Quintana Roo. I told myself that one day I would ride one. Well, that day has finally come, and I couldn't be happier. The new CD0.1 is just an incredible ride that is packed with technology. I have come a long way since that first triathlon, and so has bike technology. My passion for the sport is only matched by the passion that Quintana Roo puts into bikes!"

Quintana Roo: http://www.quintanarootri.com/
Team Evotri: http://www.evotri.com/

Transitions, Part 2

2011-08-22T07:21:00.005-05:00

"And when you're in a Slump, you're not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done." --Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You'll Go!

I started doing triathlons ten years ago almost to the day, with a good friend on a borrowed bike and following a computer-generated training plan. And I crossed that finish line, darn close to last. And loved every second of it.

And it made me want more.

And by more, I felt instinctively that this meant more MILES. Longer, longer, longer. Longer was better. Longer got all the glory. Longer got the NBC broadcast, right?

So that's what I did.

I set my sights on the long stuff in 2005. I completed my first half ironman the day before I signed up for my first Ironman. Because that's what you do. That's the natural progression of things, or at least that was how it seemed to me.

I kept up the long stuff and completed more half ironmans. Most were better; one was worse. All taught me a lot about what I am capable of and a fire that I have in here that hadn't been lit in a while.

I kept going long. And I did like it. But life started to change, yet my training did not. And for a while it was fun. It was exciting to me to prove to myself that I could still do the long stuff. I could still ride 3 to 4 hours, sneak it in during naptime, get up early and swim, and run on the treadmill while someone slept in the swing. For a while, that was exciting.

"You can get so confused that you'll start in to race down long-wiggled roads at a break-necking pace, and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space..."--Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You'll Go!

And then, after last summer, it wasn't fun. It became a chore. I dreaded the rides. I didn't feel like running. And swimming was something that I had a rough time fitting in because I knew it was 6am or nothing, and 6am is really tough when you have two children under 3 and one of them being just a few months old.

What motivated me, as the summer went on, was that I needed to make it worth it. Worth all the lost sleep, worth all the time on my bike when I could have been at home. That lit a fire in me, too, and I made it worth it to say the least. Shattering my PR by 16 minutes while still carrying around almost that many pounds is still something I'm extremely proud of. And it reminded me that 5:44 is still not my best. That there is something much faster than that in here, without a doubt.

But I was burned out.

I should have learned my lesson. I should have remembered all of this when I signed up for the marathon in May and set such a high goal. I did think about it when I got so sick last March, but the fire in there wouldn't let me quit. I had to at least try. And I still don't regret what I did.

But I realized more than ever after crossing the line in Cleveland that something had to change. I was trying to train and race the same way I did in 2005. And life in 2011 is completely different than it was in 2005.

I needed to adapt. To still feed that fire in me, but to adapt to the new reality of my wants and dreams. And my wants and dreams increasingly do not involve sitting on my bike for 3 or 4 hours. Because I've done that. I've done that, and I've done it well, and learned a lot and grown and succeeded.

I needed a change.

"It's okay to rest....but in the modern world, that's just not a popular idea. Outside of sport, in business, people boast about getting only two hours of sleep and still going into work. They're stressed, they're not sleeping, and they wonder why they feel like hell all the time. It's like the less you sleep, the more hardcore you are. Translate that to the triathlete world and it's 'Look at me, I ran twenty kilometers yesterday after riding for six hours.'"--Chris McCormack, I'm Here To Win

Instead of feeling pride after a ride or run, I felt almost inadequate. That no matter what I did, most of my training partners were doing double it. I couldn't keep up. And if I couldn't keep up with the volume, well, then, I must be worthless, right? I must not be cut out for this. Maybe I've outgrown triathlon.

"That's the monster that is human nature. We train to look good to other people, to look good to ourselves, to justify the cost of a coach, or as some sort of inoculation against the fear that we won't have what it takes on race day. But we rarely train for the only reason that matters: to be the best we can be in body and mind, and deliver our finest possible performance on race day, regardless of result."--Chris McCormack, I'm Here To Win

But this summer has shown me something. I have had so much fun.

SO much fun.

I can't remember having this much fun training or racing. It hasn't been a burden or a chore. It's been a release, an outlet, a social hour. It's pushed me beyond my comfort zone time and time again. It's left me crossing the finish line in a heap, ready to puke. It's made me ask, "Okay...is there another gear in here?" since the races are short enough that you have to--you have to push harder than is comfortable.

And I was totally comfortable with the attitude that I've held the past 6 seasons: that "I'm not very fast," that "I'm no good at sprints." I just thought if I wanted to succeed in triathlon, I needed to do what I was getting better at: 70.3s.

But I wasn't enjoying them. So maybe I'd do these shorter ones and even if I was horrible, it would fit into life better.

"One key to training this way is to attach no guilt to it. You have to let go of the numbers. Stop counting how many miles you did at the end of the week! You have to train yourself to be confident that you are doing enough and stop overtraining as a security blanket."--Chris McCormack, I'm Here to Win

The funny thing? I'm actually not horrible. Three races can't be a fluke. Yesterday I won my age group and finished 5th overall, once again shocking the hell out of myself. Even in a large and talented field at Lifetime, where I felt pretty rotten and like I wasn't ready and had a pretty horrible run, I still finished near the top third.

And I feel like yesterday has really forced me to turn a corner here and transition into something different. I want to keep this fun going. I love the fire in me when I'm chasing someone down. I love the feeling when I'm red-lining. It's something new and exciting, and it may not be as glamourous as Ironman, but it sure is a lot more fun for me right now.

Next season will be more of this. It will start with a super fast half marathon in May. And then it will be as many sprints and Olympics as I can pack into a summer, depending upon what works for my family. Because nothing beats racing close to home with my kids at the finish line. Nothing. Instead of spending hours on my bike every weekend, I'm going to spend a few hours racing like I stole something. I'm going to hit the track hard. I'm going to hit the pool hard. I'm going to continue to get stronger as a cyclist and mix up longer stuff with intervals. I'm going to continue to lift and get stronger.

I'm transitioning. And I'm ready.

Transitions

2011-08-19T08:08:00.002-05:00

I don't do so well with transitions.

I'm like my soon-to-be-four year old Bug, who NEVER wants to go somewhere (bath, library, park, fill in the blank) and then when he gets there it's the BEST!THING!EVER! and does not want to leave.

Let me be straight: I love my job. But I hate the transition from full-time SAHM for 10 weeks to full time working mommy. I usually get a healthy dose of guilt with a side order of not sleeping well for about 2 weeks or so. The two weeks that happen to usually be the craziest of the school year (tied with the last week of school).

So I was really trying to stay positive. I felt guilty for doing a race this weekend the day before I head back, though. Especially with such a late start time: I don't even start until 8:20 or so. And the course is slightly longer (you know, one of those local deals, not a USAT course) so I'm looking at being done after 11, not home until at least noon, etc etc etc. Guilt. GUILTY.

I was thinking about downgrading to the sprint just for the sake of time. Still fun but done much earlier since their waves go off earlier anyways. But then I felt like a slacker.

And then I felt like punching myself. Who does 3 triathlons in 6 weeks with two children under 4 and is SLACKING? Seriously.

Sometimes I let myself get a little warped since I train with people who have much higher volume and go much longer than I do. I knew this summer would be like this, and that's why I adjusted my schedule accordingly. So why am I feeling bad about that? Have I become so warped that I really don't think a sprint "counts" anymore?

Because if I'm becoming one of those people, I need someone to throw a pie in my face or something. Maybe smack me. Because that attitude is annoying. And just plain wrong.

Lately, I've been lucky to be able to even get out at all, and it's been so great, even if it is alone sometimes. I will miss my early morning sunrise swim and runs with friends, since those are gone until next year. I will have to be done by 6:30am from here on out during the week, and I've come to accept that I need one day of rest on the weekend for nothing but family things: zoo, library, snow fun, etc. So it's about to get pretty isolated up in hrrr, because I don't think I can convince my SAHM friends to meet me as early as I need to.

Because their job is seriously tiring, yo. I have huge respect for them. I'm tired after work, too, but it's a different kind of tired.

And then yesterday we got some news that is a game-changer. It's a game-changer for the next few months, and quite stressful to say the least. I was already up at 4am consumed with it. And it made me want to do the sprint for sure.

But then now I'm thinking maybe to continue with the slightly-longer-than-an-olympic Olympic. Because it's my last tri for months. Because I (somewhat) trained for it all summer. Because yeah, I can't do the mileage and hours most of my friends can do right now, but I still love this stuff anyway.

So I'm going to think about it. I'm going to do the race either way, and I think it might be a game time decision.

For now, I need to transition myself to hit this major pile of schoolwork.

My Open Water Fishies

2011-08-12T15:26:00.004-05:00

Well, my bike is still...in limbo, so to speak, so I've been swimming, running, and hanging at the beach lots this week. And these kids LOVE the beach. And I love that they get to grow up enjoying living down the street from this like I did.

And this girl comes from a long line of talkers...can you tell?

Anxiously awaiting some big news that I can't wait to share! Happy training and racing this weekend!

Goodbye to a friend

2011-08-08T11:42:00.003-05:00

Ahhhh. I just had a bittersweet parting with my Specialized frame. Bittersweet, because I get very very attached to things. Like, take for instance, my piece of junk '99 Chevy Cavalier base model car. I sold it to a nice kid, and then teared up when it drove away.

I just think about all the places it took me, that's all--DON'T YOU JUDGE ME (SNIFF SNIFF).

So I had one more awesome ride on it this weekend--took it for a spin with my former college roommate turned tri sensation (which I take full credit for, thank you very much) DaisyDuc. Hammered out a nice 2 hour ride on it for my last brick and today, I said goodbye. I am passing it on to my good friend Laura, so I will still have visitation rights.

But I am very excited for what's to come. Oh, yes. VERY excited.

And I should have some news and pictures hopefully by the end of the week!

Last week was a solid week of training despite craziness at home. I should seriously do a post or two about how insane in the membrane this summer has been. Between our addition, chasing after my Bug and Bean, and working on creating content and presenting it for ClevelandHistorical (which I am super proud of and very excited to be a part of), Matt and I haven't really had any down time. And this is exactly why I knew I wouldn't be able to put in the miles for a 70.3--that and my rotten right hamstring issues.

Which, by the way, (knock on wood) are NO MORE! Apparently the cure WAS more running! Who knew?

Anyway, I am still having fun swimbikerunning albeit at shorter distances. This summer I've been reminded how much I just love this sport for what it is and what it does for me. If I need it to be long, it can. If life is crazy and I don't even have time to do laundry or grocery shopping, it's still there for me in a different way.

But I am very very very excited for the direction my team is heading, both with our sponsors AND our team event next year.

And I know next year, if all goes well, I will be able to get back into the long stuff and do Rev3 Cedar Point again. I had such a great experience there and am looking forward to seeing what I can do when I'm not a few months postpartum and a few pounds up. And of course, to have the family at the finish line with me.

For this season, I have one more Olympic distance on the 21st--another great, local race--and then Dances With Dirt with four of the coolest people I know in late-September. It feels weird to NOT be gearing up for the 70.3 right now, but I know this was the right decision.

And it has me chomping at the bit for all the exciting stuff to come next season.

Goody Goody Gumdrops

2011-08-01T19:22:00.003-05:00

I got a VERY EXCITING PACKAGE in the mail just now....ACK!

Very exciting news for Team Evotri coming soon! More pics to follow!

And then the HEAVENS OPENED UP

2011-07-29T13:29:00.002-05:00

I haven't had a ride like this in a while!

So I am visiting a few buddies tomorrow and had to get my long ride in. No big whoop, since Matt wasn't building today (that's a whole 'nuther post about what we've been up to this summer) so I could hit the road by 6:30am or so and then even get in a 15 minute runoff. I'd be home while the kids were still watching Jake and the Neverland Pirates in PJs.

I worked out the deets with Ana last night and then passed out by 10.

Got up this morning and Ana had not one, but TWO sick kiddies, so she had to bail. Bummer all around. Two hours solo is aiiight and all, but I'd rather have a buddy.

Set out by about 6:40 or so and went down the block to head west on Lake Road. But, um, that sky looked pretty dark.

Hmmmm.

I didn't check the radar.

My neighbor Mike was taking his garbage out, so I yelled to him, "Hey! It's Sara! (because he looked really confused as who this crazy biker was) Have you seen the radar?"

He replied that he hadn't, but we both agreed it looked a bit ominous.

"Oh well," I yelled to him, "It's just water, right?"

And I took off.

(famous last words)

I made it out to Sheffield slowly forcing my way through a nasty headwind and got hit with the first round. It was raining pretty hard, but just for about 3 minutes. No big deal, I thought! I've totally got this! That was it?

Ha. Noooooooo. That was NOT IT.

Turned around in Lorain and texted Ana that I was gonna get slammed with a storm but it was too late now! Took off back and then it got CRAZY.

Like, could barely see in front of me crazy.

I kept thinking that it reminded me of some insane rides I had training for Ironman. I mean, when you're spending 6 hours or so on your bike EVERY Saturday, stuff like this is bound to happen. And I am of the school of thought that it's better to keep on training in it because you never know what race day might bring.

But then the lightening started. Uh oh.

I finally capitulated and pulled off at a rinky dink beer and wine shop that had an awning. Tried to text Ana and Matt but it was the lovely half a mile or so dead zone where my cell doesn't work. Arg. Wrang out my gloves and tried to get the fog off my glasses while I weighed my options.

I was about 6 miles from home. Just long enough that it would be a royal pain to bail and take poor Matt longer to get the kids in the car than it would be to just keep going.

So I HTFU and kept on going as soon as it cleared a bit and the lightening stopped.

Finally made it to my street and then figured, what the hey, might as well make it the full 2 hours. I was already covered in mud and nastiness. So I kept on going into Rocky River a bit and then eventually made my way back home. It was a little slower than usual, but I still got in over 36 miles which, all things considered, wasn't too shabby.

The rain stopped when I got home--of course!--so I threw on my shoes and did a quick runoff. Shocked the heck out of myself by averaging 7:45 for the 15 minutes that I ran. Where was THAT last week?!

And then, I was done.

And tired of being soaked.

So what did I do next?

Showered and--wait for it--took the kids to a splash park. And got wet again! If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, I guess.

All in all, a fun ride that was a total flashback to my Iron-Summer five years ago. Gotta love it.

Race Report: Huntington Sprint Triathlon, 2011

2011-07-24T18:18:00.009-05:00

As I explained in my previous post...I was very excited for this race.

It's a mile from my house. How cool is that? So I still didn't sleep well the night before (standard), but at least it was easy to get to! Plus, a lot of my local tri buddies were going to be there, and that rocks.

I felt like I needed to redeem myself a bit from Lifetime--I know that I did the best I could there, but I felt like it just wasn't good enough. I could do more. But I never know what sprints can bring. I sort of have one speed, and it's 70.3. I can dial that speed in, no problem. But a sprint? It should hurt. You should be gasping for air at the end. And that's not a race pace I'm really used to.

So I decided it was time to dial it up a notch.

I wanted this to hurt.

Despite crazy nasty storms, the lake was NOT choppy! I was pretty stoked about that. It was pretty warm and I wanted to go hard, but not totally blow it. I definitely felt like I needed to push it, though, especially after my pretty rotten swim at Lifetime. So push I did. I found a few legs, drafted for a bit, passed, and went comfortably hard. I knew I could have gone a little harder, but I didn't feel like I dogged it like I did at Lifetime. I was happy with my effort.

Swim Time 9:57

Place 6/19 AG

Got out and ran the almost 1/4 mile up to transition--sheesh! Tried to stay calm and collected and remember that I was about to embark on what's become my best leg. My buddy Ken was there and told me there were some girls to catch. I had a rough time getting my right leg clipped in but then I was off.

One of my former students and I leaving T1! She was doing her very first tri and finished 2nd in her age group--yay, Megan!

OFF OFF OFF.

Long story short--I killed it. I felt FABULOUS on this ride and my watts were high but I felt good. I picked people off left and right and got especially excited when I saw a leg that had a "U" on it, as that was my age group. I passed 4 or 5 girls with U's, and didn't see any U's pass me, so I was excited. I knew I was near the front of the age group and felt awesome.

And then I took a wrong turn.

About 1/2 mile from transition. SO STUPID. I even knew it was wrong. I knew we were supposed to go straight, but the police officer was waving right. Turns out, he was waving the cars and not us, but I saw a fast chick turn and stupidly I followed like a lemming. She really let the police officer have it and yelled, "I was winning this!" at him, but I silently turned and chalked it up to not trusting my gut and knowing the course better. I knew better than making that mistake and turning, and was mad at myself for doing it.

I probably lost 30-45 seconds.

But I hoped that I had built up a big enough cushion to still hang onto an age group place. I was not sure what this run would bring as my hamstring has been much better, but I haven't really tried to go that hard on it. I put on my brand new birthday racing flats, Saucony Mirages, that are obnoxious blue, grabbed my visor, and took off hoping for the best.

I was kind of being the Chris Leito of the average-Jane 30-34 females in NEO. I took his strategy of hammer the hell out of the bike and pray you can hold on. I felt a bit like a hunted/wounded animal, but I tried to just focus on the run ahead.

Bike: 36:19

1/19 AG

20.2 mph

I felt SOOOO slow. The first mile, I expected U's to pass me left and right. I certainly must have been running 10 minute miles.

Except I wasn't.

My pre-race dream goal was to hold 8s, and it appeared that I was doing relatively close to that. I don't know because my little Nike kid's watch doesn't take lap splits, but I did time my 2nd mile and it was just under 8. Could this be true? One of the volunteers told me at about 2.5 miles that I was "the fourth female, and you can catch those other ones if you hurry." I knew that wasn't true because of the wave starts--I knew for SURE there were some SMOKIN' fast 40+ masters females behind me that were actually "ahead" time-wise. But if there were only 4 ahead of me, and I knew two of them I knew for sure were masters, then that meant maybe one more that was possibly in my age group.

Or not.

Or it was me, in first place.

I knew then, with about .6 miles to go, that this was going to be my race to lose. And I sure as hell was NOT about to lose it then. There would be NO U's passing me, and if one did, and this turned into a Raelert-Macca thing, then I WOULD BE MACCA.

(*of course, both Raelert and Macca could beat me while running backwards wearing stilettos blindfolded, but you get the point, right?)

This was a huge mental victory for me, because usually at this point in a race, I am talking to myself and saying things like, "Hey, 3rd place is pretty good" or "well, I had a great bike today," but there was NONE OF THAT in this race. I knew coming off the bike that I was probably in first, and I made up my mind throughout most of the run that it was going to stay like that. End of story.

I knew those girls behind me might be fabulous runners, and I was hoping for maybe a 25 minute 5K at best, and can I really win this thing with a 25+ minute 5K?

The answer today was YES.

I dashed up the hill, kicked it into high gear just in case, and finished in 1:16.47, just 10 seconds ahead of the 2nd place girl in my age group.

Thanks to my awesome friend, Anne, for taking these pics for me!

She almost got me, but I was NOT going to have that today. No way. I finished the way I wanted to--gasping, almost puking, and smiling.

Run 26:05

Pace 8:25/mile

5/19 AG

Met my two kiddies and Matt afterwards and got to hug them lots and lots.

1/19: 30-34 Females

9/115: Overall Females

72/292: Total Finishers

And THAT is how I rang in my next decade of triathlons.

10 Years

2011-07-23T09:49:00.004-05:00

Right about now is the 10th anniversary of my first triathlon.

So that's kind of what makes tomorrow so cool.

At 24, I had just moved back up to the NEO. I had decided that law school would not be for me, and that despite the beatings that teaching tends to give you (especially as a young female teacher in a high school setting), I was in it for the long haul.

A nice little Saturday at 24 included happy hour, lots of pizza, dollar drafts, and staying out with my friends having a wild rumpus until approximately 2:00am, chasing the evening with bagel bites.

(Needless to say, I had some junk in my trunk.)

That summer, my girl TriShannon and I decided we were going to make some changes. She was going to leave a job that was secure but not fulfilling, and I was going to do a few daring things myself. We both signed up for our first sprint triathlon and trained diligently on a plan we found on Beginnertriathlete.com. And by diligently, I mean we rode mountain bikes. And sometimes had DQ Blizzards after our "grueling" 15-20 mile rides.

What became a lofty goal quickly changed into a lifestyle. We finished the race that day, despite the rain. Despite running into a buoy with my head and almost losing my goggles. Despite the doubts and fears.

I felt like I could do anything after that.

So I did.

Two weeks later, I took what I now refer to as The Most Important Road Trip of My Life--something I had been meaning to do for years. I finally let go. I signed up for Weight Watchers, cleaned up my act, and lost 35 pounds. And 6 weeks after my first triathlon I got up the courage to tell Matt how I really felt.

(Okay, so that one did require a little liquid courage. But the end justified the means, people)

Then came a marathon. And Pedal to the Point. And my wedding. And then all doubt was shot since I knew the answer to, "Can I do an Ironman?" after I did those things. I had the base, I had the desire, and I had the support, which is all you really need. So then came my Wisconsin Year.

A few more blinks later came my little Bug, and finally my little Bean. And here we all are, 10 years later, I-don't-know-how-many-races-later, and still a few DQ Blizzards later.

So tomorrow's race will most likely be in a choppy lake, as we've had some big time storms roll through. It will be hot, it will be humid. If I do it well, it will be a suffer fest where I end gasping for air and doubled-over, since that's the best way to do a sprint, right? I never do these sprints, so this should be interesting. But for me, I'm thinking it will be more like a celebration of the past 10 years and what that simple little local triathlon race did for me.

It brought me courage. Friendship. Health. The ability to really, finally, believe in myself.

And I kind of wish I could go back 10 summers and see that 24 year old girl and tell her, yes, you can do this. You can do everything you want to do. Sometimes it will be hard and you'll fall flat on your face and have a choppy lake and humidity that will suck and headwinds both ways. But that life you always wanted to have? The happiness, the health, the two children? It's even better than you can imagine.

And it's just down that road. So put your goggles on and rack that borrowed bike.

It's time to go.

Ramping up!

2011-07-14T08:45:00.005-05:00

Okay, no time for rest, it's RACE SEASON, BABY!

And, in the ultimate weirdness of the universe, my leg feels SO MUCH BETTER now. What? Seriously? Because if all I needed to do was RUN MORE...dude, I would have done that a long time ago. It's still a bit tight so I'm stretching and foam rolling like an insane person, but I feel like it's finally going in the right direction instead of getting worse. Maybe I can still have some fun on the run in these last few tris!

Monday I spun easy on the trainer, Tuesday I did a swim, short run to test out my new racing flats (SO cool--happy birthday to me! Thanks, Little Brother M and Mom and Dad!), and then lifted because after seeing my race pics I felt like Flabby McFlabberston. What is the deal with race pictures? Do they put a "fugly" lens on just for me or is that universal? The bike pics are fine--I have no problem with those, and in fact some are quite badass. But the swim and run? WOW. I am not sure it's possible to take a more hilariously un-flattering picture if you tried. Of course, I'm working on trying to post a few here so bear with me. You have to see these. The run ones are exquisite.

Yesterday I ran easy with Ana and it felt pretty good. The quads are still a little tired from the race, but I was just happy to not feel as tight or as much pain. Score!

Today, I decided to forego the pool (much to Ana and Laura's dismay--they are not into the open-water thing) and head to meet a few people at an open water swim. Let me just say that sometimes I forget how freaking awesome where I live is. Yeah, the winters are a bit on the snowy side and stuff, but I live about two blocks away from here:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I love it. Except, wait...do you see those waves there?

Yeah, the ones crashing into the wall in that second shot? Um, those suckers were 4-6 feet.

We all gulped a bit and said, "Here goes!" And, hey! I finally got to have that swim at Steelhead that was cancelled! Because these conditions were probably the same if not a bit worse. But you know what? I had a BLAST.

There's just something about swimming in open water, especially when there's a sunrise like that. Need to sight? Just look at downtown and see Terminal Tower. Or use the sun as your guide. Yeah, my time was crap and I got thrown all over the place and my buddy Ken ran into what we think was a log the size of a telephone pole since it was so freaking wavy. Yeah, I got a whitecap to the face that did have me shaken a bit. No WAY would I ever have allowed Ana to have this as her first Open Water Swim--she'd be drifting to Canada probably by now since the waves made it virtually impossible to swim. But the four of us felt like rockstars when we were done. Because if you can swim a mile in that like we did, then you can handle ANYTHING on race day.

And that is exactly why it's so important to get in.

Money in the bank mentally for my next two swims. I'm determined to have a better showing in the next few races in the water. Looking forward to a solid weekend of training and getting ready to race the Huntington Sprint on the 24th. A sprint?! How do you race those things again? I have one speed--70.3. I'm going to have to find another gear here and quickly!

Summer is pretty much awesome. And that is all.

Lifetime Fitness Triathlon 2011

2011-07-10T19:16:00.003-05:00

Whew--I am back!

And it was super fun! And I have been told I will lose my Midwestern card because I didn't know what cheese curds were. And also, Minneapolis is HOT! Who knew?

Whirlwind weekend with Team Evotri this weekend in the Twin Cities! We headed out to do the Lifetime Fitness Triathlon. I had signed up for the Olympic waaaaay back before I had my stupid hamstring issues. I have to admit I was a bit nervous for this race, and definitely regretting not signing up for the sprint. But who travels to Minneapolis to do a sprint? That's not a very high mile-t0-race ratio. If I have to pack up the bike, I need to make the distance worth it, right? So the plan was to get through the swim, hit the bike hard, and somehow make it through the run.

Friday afternoon I touched down and we hit the expo and then had a tasty dinner at the Italian Pie Shoppe (yum!). I watched my teammates eat ice cream (since dairy does not do well with me the night before a race--especially if it's a hot one) and then we turned in.

The next morning Rural Girl was up and at 'em early so I was, too. We had some coffee and I tried to ignore the possible thunderstorms that would be hitting us. The heat and humidity was definitely not good for me, but I figured it wasn't a 70.3, so I could probably get through it without it being too much of a factor.

I lined up for the time-trial start and, hey! I've never done one of those before. I really liked it! I demand a personal start time for every race I do now.

(I keed!)

The Swim: Goal--get through it in a respectable time

Reality: Embarrassment.

So the lake was 83 degrees which made wetsuits illegal. That didn't bother me too much but I didn't have much open water training in so I was a little concerned if it was choppy. Nothing I haven't had in Lake Erie, I figured. What ended up happening was I muddled through, drank lots of water, had horrible form and dropped my legs every time I tried to sight, seriously thought the yellow triangle buoys were messing with me and started swearing at them, and came out in a very disappointing time. It's gotten to the point where I'm embarrassed to admit I have been swimming since I was 3. What was once my strength is totally my weakness. Arg. I'm not sure how to change this except swim more, which I know is not possible now. So, I'm going to have to make peace with being mediocre (at best) in the water, which frustrates me because deep down I know I'm better than that.

Sigh.

T1: I couldn't find my bike and ran down the wrong row, but that only set me back a few seconds I think. Other than that, I got in and out relatively smoothly.

Bike: Goal--break 20mph average and keep my watts up

Reality: 19.4mph average but I think watts were good! ( I'm having a problem with the software on my Mac and really need to call CycleOps for help--note to self, DO THAT TOMORROW.)

I had heard this was not necessarily a PR bike course but tried to kind of block that out and go for it anyway. Sure enough, the potholes were pretty rough in parts. I am used to that as I live in a city that gets a great deal of snow, too, but I gotta say it was pretty rough in parts. To my NEO peeps, it was like the Rocky River Valley Parkway, but worse. I could tell it was a pretty course but I didn't get to look much because I was so focused on the road. It was also a pretty technical course--lots of hairpin turns which zapped some of my mojo in places. For some reason, all 4 of my teammate's PowerTaps said that it was about 25.8 miles, which was odd.

But I really had fun out there. Once upon a time, I was early out of the water and then dead last at T2, getting picked off one by one. I gotta say I had an absolute BLAST on this course reeling people in. I picked off quite a few girls in my AG and only got passed by a few. Looking at my splits compared to the rest of my AG, I had a pretty good ride! I've really made serious progress here.

T2: Nothing too eventful--I found my rack faster this time, yay me!

The Run

Goal: Get to the end, hopefully somewhere around a 9:15 average and ideally not walking

Reality: 9:18 average pace

To say I'm disappointed in my running this summer is an understatement. But I have to face the music: I am injured. It sucks. I hate it, and I'm trying to fix it, but I don't want to shut down this season so I'm just going to keep going the best that I can. Normally a good day for me is to do an olympic race 10K in around 50-51 minutes. Today I was pleading for 57. I told Matt it would be a miracle if I was holding 9:15s, so to finish close to that is good. I guess.

(It still stinks, but whatever. I know I'm my own harshest critic.)

I haven't ran more than 5 miles since the marathon. I wondered how badly this would hurt, but figured I'd just HTFU and get through it. I didn't fly all this way to walk.

The first loop wasn't TOO bad--I was holding around 9 minute pace, actually, and was pretty happy about that! But then it started to really hurt, and I felt my stride get shot to hell. I took my wee little baby steps and just counted the steps to focus on something else besides sucking. I did kick it at the end and then was toast. I don't do well in humidity and heat and it was definitely pretty hot and humid, although arguably could have been MUCH worse! I was so happy to have a nice cold towel from the volunteers. Best idea ever! And my awesome teammate Rural Girl WON her age group! She's a machine, people. A MACHINE.

Time: 2:55.00

Place: 21/47 AG

Significantly off my PR. That's okay, I guess. I would have loved to have a better race but I knew I was not really ready for that.

What I Need to Do:

1. NEVER a spring marathon again if I hope of having a decent tri season. I'm not cut out to only run run run run and stop all things tri, and then beat the crap outta myself in May, and still be able to hammer hard in the summer. LESSON LEARNED. Half marathon in spring = OUTSTANDING. Full marathon in spring = BUNK.

2. More open water and either make peace with my swimming situation or change it.

3. Get over this injury somehow so I can have decent runs in my next two races. I'll be doing a sprint in 2 weeks and was hoping to do an olympic in late-August. It would really be nice to go faster than my previous easy-long-run pace.

Last night we had SO much fun at an awesome place called the Chatter Box Cafe--I got super excited because they had old-skool Nintendo games! Bonus! And I got to hold Baby Henry, who is so cute I wanted to eat him up. I also got to see quite a few of my teammies which is always SUCH a blast. I really wish I got to see them more often! And we even topped it off with some Izzy's Ice Cream (YUM!) and I got to see Mike and Rachel, two super cool people. Wish I had more time to see more of the Twin Cities Tri peeps--there are so many of you out there! Loved your cities. It's really nice up there!

Oh, and I had some fried cheese curds. And also discussed the merits of Greg Gagne and Kent Hrbek. And said "that's what she said" a lot. And pretty much laughed for 48 hours straight.

Back home and snuggled lots with Bug and Bean! Time to get ready for the next race. It's good to feel like a triathlete again!

A Very Exciting Week

2011-07-05T13:59:00.003-05:00

So I ran yesterday, and it went well. Which bodes well for the race I'm doing Saturday...maybe I can actually get through the run in one piece! Yahooyippeeeeeeee!

I can't WAIT to race this weekend. This is the first summer I haven't had a 70.3 looming over me and I definitely needed it. I love to race but knew that cutting back was going to be a smart plan, and even though there are moments when I think hey-maybe-I-could-do-Rev3?-I know that YES, I could do it, but I do not HAVE to. And that has been a nice feeling. I am excited to just enjoy a few races this summer and then wait until I really want something longer (which, who am I kidding, will probably be Rev3 half next year).

And on a completely unrelated note, I got my AP scores online today. I have to admit I really wasn't sure what this bunch would do. We all felt confident about the DBQ, though, and I crossed my fingers and hoped we had all done the other work for the rest of the test.

I am a big geek for this, but here goes: the scores were so good that I cried. Literally teared up. The best they've been in the 4 years I've been doing this. Out of 39 kids that took the test, 24 got 4s or 5s.

Proudly wearing my geek badge,

TST

Pretty much the coolest thing ever

2011-07-02T13:06:00.004-05:00

YOU GUYS!

The coolest thing happened on my ride today. I am so excited.

So first off, I should preface by saying I was initially bummed out about my ride. I couldn't find anyone around who could go at the time I needed to and close enough to home (since this weekend is full of superfuncraziness) so I reluctantly settled on going myself. I felt all sorry for myself for a bit. But then I thought, hey, this could be an adventure! And adventures are fun. So I turned that frown upside down.

After a few mojitos too many last night after a long day at the beach and a picnic with friends, my tummy felt like poo. I was afraid I wouldn't even be able to ride at all! But luckily, I felt SO much better when I woke up. It was crazy humid, so I took some extra water and a salt tab or two. I also realized that I was out of Gu Chomps.

PSA to those of you with kids: swipe a bag of your kid's Annie's Bunny Snacks in a pinch for good riding food. They worked swimmingly!

Started out on the lake and it was just a beautiful morning. The lake was super calm and the sun was coming up. I chased my shadow for a bit and was in a headwind but was still pretty impressed with the pace I was holding. Then I felt a few drops. But the sun was out! Bizarr-o. I was trying to figure out if, in fact, it was really raining when I saw this:

And then I decided that yes, it was raining. And rainbows are awesome.

Kept on truckin' along until I made it out to Lakeview Park in Lorain. I stopped to refill my bottles at this really nice little brunch place/beach house, and a sweet little older fella and I got to talking about biking. He loved to ride and suggested to me that I try a trail--"it's 3 and a half miles--ONE WAY," he said winking--and I put on my most impressed face I could and said I would love to try it!

Headed back home and about 10 miles out, a guy passed me at a light. He looked super fit and had a full Pearl Izumi kit on. I knew he was no joke so I figured he'd be gone, but lo and behold, we were about the same pace. I sort of hung back for a while because I didn't want to be that creepy chick who hangs in your draft and mooches, so then I eventually passed him. A few miles later, he passed me back but we started talking.

Turns out he lives in ST. PAUL, Minnesota and is in town visiting his mom for the weekend!

Oh, it gets better.

He's ALSO doing Lifetime next weekend!

How freaking cool is that?!

So we talked all about the race and shared some tri stories. Turns out he's done tris for over 25 years (puts my approaching 10 year anniversary to shame!) and qualified for Clearwater 70.3 Championships at Branson last year! So basically, he's crazy fast and I'm lucky I could even hang with him. So I made a St. Paul buddy here in the NEO! We said we'd try to find each other next weekend (but I know it's a big race) and went our separate ways.

I finished a smidge over 2 hours and with 40 miles (had to make it an even 40 so I went to the end of my street...ain't no way I'm gonna let that PowerTap say 39.7 or some lame shizz like that). Came back home and was all smiles.

Sometimes a nice long solo ride is just what you need. And I even made a buddy or two and saw a rainbow!

Off to Minneapolis on Friday! I am gettin' pretty excited.

Happy 4th of July to my USA homies!

Some Love for the Little Races

2011-06-25T19:17:00.002-05:00

Thanks for letting me vent on the last post, and thanks for all the very thoughtful and interesting replies. That was some good ol' fashioned virtual conversation, there. I hearts the internets.

Anyway, since I was Little Miss Pissypants in my last post regarding Ironman Wall Street (borrowed that term from a friend--I think it fits pretty well!), I thought I'd take a second to give some love to the little races. Local tris are really, for me, the spirit of triathlon. The ones where you can just drive right up and park next to transition...where nervous newbies rack mountain bikes...where the RD is walking around with you to make sure everything's a go. Aside from being significantly cheaper, these races just have a feel-good vibe about them that is, in my humble opinion, everything that tri should be about. I love love love that my teammate, TriCajun, puts on a local race in Louisiana, and really wish I could get down there. This is the first year in quite a few I haven't been able to make WIBA, which is another example of the spirit of triathlon wrapped up in the most fun weekend you'll have with friends. The spirit is still out there, my friends. Don't lose hope yet.

That being said, there's a few fabulous races here that I'm planning on doing. Rick puts on some great races at NCN and even has the coolest policy ever: volunteer for a race, and earn a free race entry. He even has a race transfer policy that is pretty much awesome: if you get hurt or sick, you can do another one of his races ANYTIME. So last year, right about this time, I had my almost-a-stress-fracture-holy-crap-now-what?! situation and I had to back out of the Huntington Triathlon. I was super bummed, but I knew that at least I could transfer my race entry to another NCN race. I was planning on cheering on the EvoKids anyway, so Rick said, hey, how about you volunteer and earn another race? Bonus! So I'll be cashing in on both of those races this year! I will be doing the Huntington Sprint and the Lorain Tri--probably the Olympic, but we'll see how things go.

(Side note: My hamstring issues are slightly better, but still not great, so I'm trying to take it easy. Lifetime should be quite interesting, seeing as I haven't ran more than 5 miles since the marathon! All in favor of rolling the dice raise your hands!)

Another super awesome top-notch race is the Greater Cleveland Triathlon. This race pretty much is everything I heart about triathlon. A kid's race, a sprint, and an olympic in a beautiful beach east of C-Town with a very hometown, newbie-friendly vibe. Plus, the RD Mickey is one of the coolest guys ever. The run is an out-and-back so you can see all your buddies, which is always fun. I did the sprint last year and am hoping to do it again this year, but it's the day of Matt and my 7th anniversary (awwww!) so I'm not exactly sure what our plans are. Nonetheless, it's a FABULOUS local race and another example of what the sport should be about.

This August is also my 10th anniversary of doing my first tri. I can now say I've been in this sport a decade. What started as almost a dare between two college buds became quite a lifestyle change that led to me dropping about 35 pounds, getting healthy, and meeting some of the coolest people in the universe. Although I may not be crazy about all the directions the sport is going, I give a standing ovation to the local races and all the triathletes out there giving it their all, no matter what they ride, what shoes they are wearing, or what compression socks they might have.

So even if you're doing a big huge race, be sure to give the local guys and girls some love. Volunteer. Race. Cheer. Bring your kids and show them what a triathlon's all about. Spread the tri-love. I look forward to being in this sport for at least 18 more decades and hope you will, too.

And pardon me, while I step up on this soapbox...

2011-06-19T20:01:00.003-05:00

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

$895? For a race? And it sold out in ELEVEN MINUTES?

*bangs head against the wall*

SHAME on you, WTC. SHAME.

And shame on the fact that there are apparently enough people willing to shell out over $900 in ELEVEN MINUTES to close out a race. I am sorry, but I gotta put my foot down on that one.

That is RIDICULOUS. END OF STORY.

Am I too poor for this sport? Is that where this is going? Because there is no way on earth I will ever participate in a race where the entry fee is almost $1,000. I don't come from that side of town.

And then what does this mean, really? That if you want to do a shiny, glittering Ironman race, you have to pony up your right arm, soul, and first born?

What is this sport about, anyway?

I tell you what, for me it's about hard work, persistence, dedication, and above all, community. A pox upon you, WTC. You may be taking your talents to South Beach here, but I sure as hell won't be.

/end rant/

Yes. That's it.

2011-06-18T15:02:00.002-05:00

I've re-discovered something through all this running I did all spring.

Something was just missing.

Don't get me wrong...I loved running (most of the time) and really did enjoy pushing myself in the marathon. I tried my best to take setbacks in stride. I kicked my own butt on a daily basis, especially with those cursed Yassos. I dreamed big, and I went for it. And that was painful, but awesome.

But something was missing.

And over the past two weeks or so, I've found it.

I am, most definitely, a triathlete.

There's just something about the quiet calm of laps in the pool, the burning arms during a harder set, and 41 miles on a quiet morning with a friend.

Yes, that's better.

Exhale.

Another year, another season

2011-06-10T06:50:00.002-05:00

Whew!

Up for air. Finally.

I am sitting at home in an empty house at the moment, which happens about, oh, twice a year. It's absolutely glorious. I have nothing on the docket today except to see my good friend's beautiful new baby boy and to head to graduation tonight.

Another school year, in the books!

I can hardly believe I've been doing this 12 years now. I really was a baby when I started. Barely older than my students.

You know what? I am so NOT barely older than my students now. And I LOVE IT. I love, love, love not being the "young teacher" anymore. I'm not quite a veteran, but I'm hovering somewhere in the middle. Or, let's be honest, the way things are going in my state I won't be able to retire until I'm about 80, so maybe I'm earlier in my career than it seems. There's a certain level of difficulty that automatically comes with being a young teacher, and I'm very, very content to say that I'm past that now. It's kind of nice.

The end of school was loco. For a good reason, though. I dreamed pretty big back in January and wrote a grant for 15 iPads so that I could have my students create oral histories and "mini-documentaries" on different aspects of local history with the ultimate goal of having them end up here, on this super awesome app: www.clevelandhistorical.org Which you should check out. Although you may not find it all that interesting if you're not from Cleveland, but it's pretty freaking cool. All the content is user-created with oral histories narrating the story of various landmarks here in the NEO.

Never in a million zillion billion years did I think I'd get this grant.

Except I did!

Which is super amazing. But the equipment didn't come in until early May, so we literally had 3 weeks to throw together this project: learning the equipment and programs, scheduling and conducting 19 interviews, editing and selecting images from the Library of Congress or local archives, AND presenting. And grading. And....let's just say, my kids rose to the challenge, and although we had lots of bugs along the way, I am SO PROUD of what they created. They did awesome. If I get the permissions that I need, I'll post a few links here for you to see. I can't wait to continue this next year!

So now I'm getting ready to really get into a new tri season, but I've definitely had a few bumps on the road. My right hamstring (the one that seized up on me often during the marathon) has still been really tight. It's been bothering me when I'm running, so Coach Emily has really ramped me down. I'm hoping that with some continued yoga and easy runs, I can ramp it up back here soon. What fun is short course if I don't get to hammer?

That being said, not sure if that 5K in 2 weeks is in the cards. Eyeing one on July 4th, but not sure I could hammer it and still be okay for Lifetime. We'll see--a lot will depend on now this stupid hamstring feels.

In other news, I SWAM! And it sucked. But it should, for dear internet, I have not swam since JANUARY. Boooooo. That's no good at all. Really, someone needs to install a pool in my basement and then I'd be fine. Anyway, I still eked out 2000 yards, which is a reminder that I can wing it in the swim, however, just because I can does NOT mean that I should. I am looking forward to getting in the pool and open water here pretty often over the next few weeks.

I am getting my bike legs back a little bit, which is nice. And I have completely turned Ana into a riding buddy! I'm right--that girl will do just about anything. I may be creating a monster.

Looking forward to this bizarre thing called "free time," although after today I will have two little bugs running around and giggling like crazy, so I'm going to enjoy this rare solo quiet house while it lasts.

Happy Training!

What's Next?

2011-05-24T08:25:00.005-05:00

I am SO! ANTSY!

That's what.

Taking some time off always makes me remember how much I love these sports. Whenever I was pregnant, I would miss anaerobic stuff like none other. While I'm running around a track teetering on the point of puking? Not so much. But take it away from me, and I remember how much I enjoy it.

Since November, really, I've been running running running and it's been great and all, BUT....

...TST is a triathlete, yo.

So it's about time I start acting like one!

This is also the first year in 6 out of 7 years (lost one season due to being pregnant with Bug) that I will NOT be doing a 70.3. I knew it was time for a break. I do love that distance and, like the marathon, feel as if I'm now confident and experienced enough to actually race it. I know I'll be back. But I felt like I needed a break from it so that I could continue to love it, and not resent it. I know that I made the right decision, because I am so so so so excited to get back out there and am looking forward SO MUCH to what for me will be an attempt to go back to the roots and hammer the short(er) stuff this summer!

Now bear with me. Remember--seven years, people. Seven years since I really focused on short course. So I'm sure I'm going to fall flat on my face a few times.

BUT I CAN'T WAIT!

Here's what I'm looking at:

5K on June 26th--it's in memory of a former student who was killed in action in Iraq. I would love to do this, and I think it's about time I get a new 5K PR. (My current is 23:43 which came 6 or 7 years ago and I know I can do better) My only concern is that it might be too soon after the marathon to give that a legit go, but we'll see how recovery shakes out in the next week or so.

Lifetime Oly: July 10th. SO EXCITED for my team race and to see all my teammates and Baby Pharmie, too! Can't WAIT!

July 24th: Huntington Sprint literally down the street from my house (It pays to live on Lake Erie) This is a free race I earned from volunteering while preggo. Local and lots of friends--would like this to be a hammer fest, too (do you see a trend here?)

August 21st: Sprint or Oly--could see what I feel like later--also nearby and also free from volunteering--yahoo

September 11: Thinking about a half marathon with Matt, Ana, and my other friends Rob and Sarah. I've done it before--the course is super fast (slightly downhill point to point) and it would be nice to try and go low 1:40s

September 24: Dances with Dirt Trail Race Relay--just going to have a great time here!

So that's the plan so far. For now, I need to stop eating everything in sight (Cinnamon Toast Crunch! It tastes so good when it HITS YOUR LIPS!), and focus on actually resting and recovering and all that stuff. Oh, and get this! I think I talked Ana into riding with me this weekend and possibly doing the Huntington Sprint in July! I can talk that girl into anything! Skinny skiing? Bullfights on acid?

(That's a Caddyshack reference, in case you missed it. Matt will be so proud. Anyone catch the Old School reference, too?)

Happy training to all!

Winner! Deshler Designs Giveaway

2011-05-19T07:44:00.002-05:00

How about some super fun news for a Thursday?

We have a WINNER in the Giveaway for some hair candy from Deshler Designs!

And.....drum roll please....

COMMENT #3! That is HEATHER, who said "Thanks for putting this out there!"

Congrats, Heather! Please send your headband choice and contact information to Emily at:

emily@deshlerdesigns.com

To everyone else, thanks so much for entering and hopefully you'll head on over to Emily's site and pick out some new hair candy anyway...I know I will! Summer's coming and this hair needs to get the heck out of my face, stat.

Happy Thursday!

On Risking It

2011-05-16T17:19:00.012-05:00

"So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's A Great Balancing Act."--Dr. Seuss, in Oh, the Places You'll Go! and me almost every night when I read this book basically by heart

"Yeah, you know, technically I'm not even really supposed to be here right now. So f-- it...might as well make the most of it." --Eminem, Cinderella Man, the first song to come on my iPod when I put the headphones on at Mile 14

I've had a little more time here to think about everything that happened on Sunday and why I am still so happy about it. I know it sounds strange. Conventional wisdom would say that one should not be happy unless things are a PR, right?

But occasionally, for me, racing isn't all about time. It is a lot of the time, but for me it's also about more than that. I mean, seriously. I'm not winning these things. If it was all about time for me, I would have thrown in the towel a long time ago.

Sometimes in our little circles, our little stories, our little heads, we forget how amazing it is that we can do these things to our bodies. That we choose to have this pain; that we choose this fight. That many of us do in a morning what most people do in a week. I know I forget that sometimes.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself. And Self? You've done some great things. It's okay to relax every once in a while.

In the past ten years, I've done somewhere in the ballpark of 20-30 sprint and olympic distance triathlons, countless 5Ks and 10Ks, I don't know--6 half marathons?, 5 full marathons, 5 half-ironmans and 1 Ironman. And I haven't won any of them.

That's a lot of stuff to do, too.

Sometimes I forget that this in and of itself is a pretty big deal. And I chose to do all of it. ALL of it. I put myself through what it took to get to all of those start and finish lines by choice.

I say this, because the night before the race I found out someone I know who has two little children--one just a few months old, and a little boy just a few months younger than Jackson--was given 2-4 years to live. Cancer.

Two to four years to live.

It made my heart sink, and I thought what it must be like for her to have gotten this news this past week. For her husband to get this news. To know that she won't see her daughter's first day of kindergarten. Or her son's little league games. Or her 15th wedding anniversary.

Somehow, my little saga, my self-created struggle, seemed rather insignificant.

I had been mulling in my head my options all week. What if I played it safe? Ran with the 3:50 group--an 8:46 pace--which I was completely positive I could handle? Clock myself down a few more minutes and chip away at the PR a bit?

Or what if I just went for it--3:40, knowing that I didn't get in the miles I wanted to....knowing what that might mean later in the race? This spring has been, to put it mildly, pretty awful for me. To get in the miles that I did required a minor miracle. And I knew that my long runs were not as numerous as they had been in the past. That the marathon is a huge nasty gorilla who will either tolerate you being in its presence, or grab you by the hair and bash you against the wall, depending upon the day. You never quite know until you're in the middle of it.

I thought of her, of this news she just got this week. And that sealed it.

3:40 for sure. I choose this risk. I choose this pain. I choose to do this because it reminds me of how much joy I get when I push my body beyond the limits I set for myself.

I fully understood and accepted what the outcome would be. Either I would do it, puke, and collapse at the finish line, or I would try and absolutely blow up.

Either way, my sun would still come out tomorrow.

____________________________________

There's really not much else to say. I could go mile by mile, but you'd probably laugh out loud. It's actually kind of funny to see my mile splits. Just looking at my mile splits, you would deduce that no one has ever ran a more stupid marathon than that chick. And on paper, this was not a good race for me.

But I do believe that this, in fact, was a good race for me. It reminded me why I do this, and that I have, in fact, come so far from where I started.

In this race, one where the wheels started to fall off around mile 12 and were completely rolling behind me by mile 14, where my first half was right on pace and my second half was horribly painful and slow, I still ended with a 4:05.

4:05.

As short as three years ago, I did not think I was capable of a 4:05. I have now reached the point where my horrible marathon--my worst-case-scenario marathon--is a 4:05.

That alone is kind of blowing me away right now.

I thought of quitting. As we ran through downtown all I could think of was why, why whywhywhy did I not sign up for the half? I am in fantastic half shape. I could have knocked this half out of the ballpark. But my right hamstring was already seizing up on me by about the half marathon point, and I knew then that it was not going to happen today.

Part of me wanted to stop.

I was ready to stop when I saw my family. They were going to be somewhere around mile 17. I was ready to just collapse in a heap when I got there and be done so that it didn't hurt any more.

But they were early. They caught me off guard. And I couldn't stop then. They gave me the encouragement to keep moving forward.

So move forward, I did. Slowly, painfully, but I vowed I would make it somehow to the end.

At mile 18, I stopped at the medical tent. At this point, I was stopping to stretch my hamstring about every half mile or so. Each time I would say in a hushed whisper, "come on, hammy...come on hammy, hang on..." But it didn't seem to be listening. The two guys in there gave me a few stretches to try so I did.

"Do you need any help? Are you sure you want to keep going?"

Yes. Yes, I am.

Miles 18-25 had pain in almost every step. I was so glad at least I threw my iPod in the race belt at the last second, so I tried to step with the beat. I just kept thinking about how pain is good, how I feel just fine!, to block out the pain in my hamstring and the one slowly developing in my right knee.

Somehow I can salvage this race. I can learn something here. I can show myself something here, wrapped up nicely in this disaster.

The last thing I wanted to do was to go to school the next day and tell my students I quit. The very thought made me tear up. I didn't want to say it to Jackson, either. And I really didn't want to let my teammates down. I felt like I already had a bit, as I know they were rooting for me and for most of them this stuff comes much easier than it does for me. I wanted to be the success story that they were hoping for.

Maybe I still could be.

The last two miles hurt so badly. I had already watched the 3:50 group come and go after making a desperate attempt to latch onto them. Then the 4:00 group came. I tried, but had nothing. But I reminded myself that I chose this pain. I knew this might happen. This was not mental, this was physiological. I knew I hadn't done what my body would need to do to run a 3:40. Many, many people can get by on a lot less than I can, but this confirmed that for me to do this time would require somewhere in the ballpark of 50-60 mile weeks, minimum. Multiple 20+ mile runs. No triathlons, because I wouldn't have time to do anything but run, breathe, teach, and raise two children. And even then, there's no telling what the gorilla might do. But that would be what it would take for me to have a shot at it.

And about mile 25 I made peace with that. I made peace with the fact that I cannot do that right now. No, actually that's not really right. I will not do that right now. This is my choice. I am happy with it.

And it was like a big weight was lifted off of me. The gorilla let go and stopped bashing me in a bit. I high fived all the kids I saw. I stopped and chatted with a former student at the last water station. I screamed like crazy at my two friends on the corner of East 9th and St. Clair.

The weather was just the same as Ironman Wisconsin. Almost exactly the same, down to the wind and rain and 53 degree temperatures. It didn't rain much the first 3 hours and just misted which was actually pretty nice, but that last hour it started to really come down, and I remembered that finish line that day in Madison.

In short, I remembered why I do this. Because of how fun it is, and how alive it makes me feel.

I ran down that finisher's chute, with a smile on my face and a hard-fought, well-earned 4:05 finish. And now I know. I know what I can do with the time I am willing to give. I know that setting realistic goals is probably the smart thing to do, but going hard or going home also makes a better story.

That reaching far too high is much better than not reaching at all.

I have absolutely no regrets about the way I raced this race. Don't let my splits and my 7:50 second mile tell you any differently. It was absolutely reckless. It was full of wonder. It was full of pain. It was something I am very happy not to even try again for possibly years. Because I can walk away from this and say, for the very first time, that I raced a marathon.

And that makes this story, in my book, a happy ending.

Happy!

2011-05-15T12:00:00.003-05:00

No, really, I am.

Mostly that it's over. And I'm dry now! And not cold anymore. A 4:05 equals my second best time ever, and given the rotten weather I am even more okay with that.

But I'm very happy with the end result. I knew in my heart that this was just a bit out of reach, and unless things went perfectly, it wouldn't happen.

I have also decided it is about time to stop doing things I don't want to do.

I know I would have killed the half today. When you start having to stop and stretch at mile 14, that's a bad sign. I was ready to quit at mile 17 when I saw my family there, except they surprised me and saw me at 14. I figured I'd just gut it out and try to make it to the finish line.

I think I'll need more explanation later, but the short version is this: I said before I do believe I could qualify for Boston, but for me it would require a lot. A LOT. A lot of things would have to be sacrificed. I did sacrifice quite a bit this time, but not nearly enough. I will never, ever sacrifice too much time with my kids, time with Matt, or being the best teacher I can be. I have sacrificed all remnants of being a triathlete the past 4 months. I don't like it. Those are some pretty big jobs. There is only so much of me, and I did what I could.

Realistically, I should have tried for a 3:50 and I think I probably could have done that. But then I would have wondered, always wondered. Now I won't, and that makes me happy.

I'm also kinda like, why am I running fulls if I don't like to run fulls? The last mile was fun, mostly because I was TOTALLY hamming it up for the crowd. But the rest was very painful and not fun. I spent quite a bit of time stretching and talking with the guys in the medical tent at mile 18.

The bottom line is this: for me personally to get to Boston requires things I'm absolutely not willing to give. I don't regret attempting; now I know for sure. I will sleep better tonight knowing this. I would have wondered.

What kept me going was that I wanted to go to school tomorrow and not have to tell my students I quit. I also didn't want to explain to my own children that I quit. I am not a quitter.

But I am in a pretty good deal of pain right now. And unless I can devote what needs to be devoted for full marathons, I probably shouldn't do them. I'm not much of a fan of half-assing things.

So I can't wait to hammer Lifetime this summer with my team, get in the pool, ride my bike again, train with the kids this summer for the tri, and absolutely KILL half marathons for a bit.

Pictures to follow, but my family is amazing and I was so lucky to share this race with good friends, too.

Just What I Needed

2011-05-13T12:10:00.001-05:00

I’ve said before how I’m not very good at slowing down, so you can imagine how much fun I have when it’s time to taper. Yeah. SO pleasant to be around! I’m either gasping and saying “is that a weird pain in my ankle?! Maybe it’s plantar fasciitis! Or a torn ligament! Or DYSENTERY!” or I’m lamenting how huge and slow and sluggish I feel.

So when I saw a little 30 minute run on the docket I thought, just 30? Really? Because if Matt had a say in this it would be about 3 hours and 30 minutes.

(The patience that my husband has, especially with me during race week, is UNREAL.)

We had a storm and then the sun came out just in time for a sunset, so I headed out.

I was supposed to do 4 pickups for 45 seconds to half marathon pace (which for me is about 8 or just under) and after a mile or so I got into them.

I had to really hold myself back. I found that my instinct was to go low 7s.

What?

Then, I was convinced the Garmin was lying to me. The battery was low; surely this was NOT TRUE. I was so convinced that I went to MapMyRun.com just to be sure that distance was really what it said it was.

I knew it would be wrong.

Except, it wasn’t.

I ran just 3 short little miles, but at a pace that felt so natural and easy and even slow to me. Like I was out for a leisurely stroll.

And it was 8:30.

8:30.

ME.

Needless to say, this was definitely what I needed to see.

I don’t know what is going to happen on Sunday, but I just sort of have this calm sense that’s been winning out over the freak out sense, that says I’ve done everything I can possibly do, and deep in there, I can do this.

I think this was my body’s way of reminding me that. That I’ve been here before; that I’ve been scared, that I’ve been reaching for something I actually said before I could never do, that I wondered if I could even do it.

And I did it. I fought like hell, but I did it.

I am starting to really believe that if I can just keep my head in my own head and in each moment--each mile--then I have got this.

Wait...now it's my turn?!

2011-05-07T18:22:00.003-05:00

My kids were freaking out. ALL week. Freaking out, wondering if they did all they could. Frantically asking questions about the Gilded Age and Marbury v. Madison and the Peggy Eaton Affair and the Tariff of Abominations and the Great Society.

All week I said REPEATEDLY, "You guys will be FINE. You have to TRUST YOURSELVES. You have to believe that you did everything you could and you prepared the best you could, and whatever they ask you just believe that you are ready and go with your gut."

And then they had their test.

And they were fine.

Happy, even! Giggly. And some even told me thanks for getting them so ready.

Ahem. Perhaps I have a thing or two to learn here.

Because now that their test is over? Holy CRAP MINE IS NEXT SUNDAY.

It's here.

And I'm starting to get a little nervous.

Okay, okay. A LOT nervous.

I do sort of have this calmness, though, too. I swing between being nervous and thinking OMG WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO and you know what, self, you are going to be fine.

Every once in a while I'll have this wave of "it'll-be-fine-ness" rush over me, too. I think about what it will be like to cross that finish line, no matter what happens. I know I'm the leanest and fittest I've been in quite some time. I remember that I am running stronger now than I ever have, and now's as good of a time than ever to go for this crazy goal. The worst that could happen, in the scheme of things, isn't the worst thing ever.

Sometimes I just have this feeling like I'm going to do it.

And then I swing to ACK! again.

I have a feeling this is how it's kinda going to be for the next few days.

How about a GIVEAWAY?

2011-05-01T18:51:00.006-05:00

Hi!

I am very excited to host my very first giveaway EVER here in TriSaraTops land!

Remember back when I told you all about Emily's awesome headbands at Deshler Designs? Well, she has been gracious enough to give away a FREE headband of your choice to a fabulous blog reader out there!

I'm telling you--these things are awesome. I have SO. MUCH. HAIR. and they never fail me. Plus, they are super cute. Guys, if you have a gal in your life that loves to be active, you should enter, too! You'll score major points. I promise.

Here's the scoop:

Giveaway: Free Non-slip hair band from Deshler Designs! (www.DeshlerDesigns.etsy.com)

You have SEVEN ways to earn chances towards a free headband!

Become a follower of my blog: www.trisaratopsimadventure.blogspot.com
Follow Deshler Designs on Facebook @ www.facebook.com/DeshlerDesigns
Follow Deshler Designs on Twitter @ www.twitter.com/DeshlerDesigns
Heart/Favorite Deshler Designs on Etsy www.DeshlerDesigns.etsy.com
Make a purchase from Deshler Designs on Etsy after 5/1/11
Tweet a link to this giveaway
Post a link to this giveaway on your FB wall

So, you have up to 7 chances to enter the giveaway--it's that simple! IMPORTANT: Please leave a comment to this post for each entry you complete. Winner will be chosen from the comments left to this post on May 14th using the random number generator @ http://www.psychicscience.org/random.aspx .

Good luck, and be sure to swing by Emily's Etsy shop to check out all the hair candy!

The best laid plans...

2011-05-01T10:43:00.002-05:00

Wow.

My spring break was pretty rough. Let's just say it was not quite as bad as my winter break, where all four of us got the stomach flu, but a very close second. I found myself crying quite a bit and asking for a "do-over." To say it was stressful and not relaxing at all is quite an understatement.

I'm supposed to run long today but couldn't do it this morning. Now I'm going to try and time it up with a naptime if I can, but it has to be alone. Boo. Good mental prep, I guess. Plus, I think I need some alone time after this week. Some people get mani/pedis...I go for 2 hour runs alone.

Despite most of my plans falling completely apart, I did manage to sneak out for a quick shopping trip with my Mom (holy J. Crew sales! I am the sale-rack master), a quick lunch with Best Friend, and last night actually got to use our tickets to see Jon Stewart which I thought for SURE were going to fall apart like every other plan we tried to make for this week. So that was good.

And summer is just a few weeks away--yahoo!

And boy am I looking forward to acting like a triathlete again. Running is fun but I know at heart I'm a multi-sport girl. I can't wait to get back on my bike and in the pool.

AP test on Friday and my big test two weeks from today! Now off to at least change for my run...if I'm wearing the clothes it has to happen, right?

Right?

Sigh...

Strong winds

2011-04-29T07:49:00.004-05:00

Whew. I think I need a spring break from my spring break!

Things have not slowed down here--if anything, the pace got quicker, which will hopefully make up for my mileage slowing down.

So far I am feeling pretty good. It does feel weird to NOT have tons of miles on the docket, but I feel like I'm getting settled into what I need to do here, which is lots of stretching and focusing on nutrition. This is compounded by the fact that Reese's peanut butter eggs are now on clearance.

CLEARANCE, people. 75% OFF. You just can't walk by that and NOT drop a few in your basket.

(Good thing I have Matt around to help me out with that.)

This week had some flooding, a pretty long power outage (always fun with two little ones), and we also lost Matt's grandpa. He had a wonderful life and left a very close-knit, wonderful family as his legacy. He always welcomed me as one of his own and also got a kick out of my maiden name as my relation to a famous horse jockey is not something that everyone picks up on. It's kind of something only a few people really get, and usually from that generation. He used to call me Matt's "jockey girl," despite the fact that I have never once rode on horseback.

Because of these events, I've had to cut a few more minutes off some of my runs. But they've all felt great and I'm reminded what a fabulous stress relief endorphins can be.

This weekend I'll do a nice run with Ana and start to wind things down. Tuesday I ran 5 miles and it was sunny, but very windy. The pace felt comfortable despite the fact that it was faster than usual, and that was a good ego boost after the 20 miler I finished last weekend. The wind was strong, especially at the end, so I tried to pretend it was mile 25 and I was only going to make it by 10 seconds...which made the last mile the fastest of the five.

Two weeks from Sunday it's go time.

Some Hair Love

2011-04-24T14:05:00.005-05:00

I've been meaning to give a shout-out for a while here to Deshler Designs. Emily runs the Etsy shop and she makes the BEST hair bands. Ever.

Seriously--I have LONG and very THICK hair with crazy layers and lots of wispies. They fly all over the place. Combine that with the fact that I'm the saltiest, nastiest sweater alive and I just figured I was doomed to have fugly hair anytime I did anything physical. Because I start sweating IMMEDIATELY, people. And I could never find a band that would actually hold my hair back. Well, I take that back--I could find bands at the drugstore, but they never, EVER stayed put. Goody StayPut? Yeah, I'm talkin' to you. FALSE ADVERTISING, yo.

And when I wore those dumb bands, they would just slip around and annoy me and generally drive me insane throughout the whole workout.

But Emily's bands? They stay put. SERIOUSLY. These things do not move, and they do not tug on your hair. I honestly didn't believe it until I tried them. Plus, she has lots of super cute designs.

Now that I have pseudo-bangs, I definitely like the thicker bands for long runs, but the skinny bands are also great, too! You may have heard of "Sweaty Bands," but I promise you Emily's are just as good and CHEAPER, too! Her thick band went with me on my 20-mile run yesterday and made it all the way through without moving one bit. I am sold!

So long-haired girls, rejoice! And go pick out some hair candy. Consider it an Easter gift to yourself, and tell her TriSaraTops sent you! :)

Happy Easter, everyone!

That was hard.

2011-04-23T13:29:00.002-05:00

All of it. This week.

Was hard.

Really, really hard.

I don't know what to say without sounding like I'm whining. I hate whining. So I'm just going to say what I'm thinking in the hopes that it's not coming out like whining, but is coming out factual.

I got my butt handed to me this week.

Last weekend's long run (which was 6 days ago, actually) took a lot out of me. This week was rough at school, so even my rest days were not really rest days. I don't think I really got to recover enough, but such is life. The show must go on. I focused on good nutrition and attempted to get some sleep, despite having two sick little ones early in the week.

The routine was off, and I let it get to me.

I focused on negative energy that was hitting me this week, and I did not have my head in the right place. Not Tuesday, not Wednesday during my Yassos that left me in an exhausted heap on the floor after they were over, and certainly not today.

I had to do my 20 miler alone for a myriad of reasons. Mostly because it needed to be a) early b) near my house and c) Ana was gone.

It was supposed to look like this:

5 miles warmup

5 miles MRP

2 miles @9:00

6 miles @MRP

2 miles cooldown

It looked like this:

5 miles warmup cursing my Garmin for losing satellites and leaving me hanging

5 miles MRP where I needed to stop 2 times and lose my marbles

2 miles: one at 9, one at MUCH slower

1 mile trying to get to MRP and not coming close

7 miles very, very slowly and with many stops--2 to refill bottles (I drank 60 ounces in this run!) and one to sit on some guy's rock in his front yard and put my head in my hands

Total miles: 20

Average pace: 9:00/mile

Pathetic stops and self-doubt: much

I need to do a few things:

1. Eat a bigger breakfast. Clearly my one-packet of instant oatmeal is NOT cutting it at all.

2. Try to recover more. Sleep is a huge issue for me, and it was even more so with my kids being sick Sunday-Tuesday and with school dumping quite a load of stress on me this week. Simply put: I did not sleep much this week, and it killed me.

3. I need to surround myself with positive ideas and not negative.

Looking back at the plan, I did some solid cross-training on top of 37.1 miles ran with my overall average for those miles at 8:49. That is huge for me. I hate to say this was NOT a good week. That is a huge week for me and the fact that I'm able to do that is a huge improvement.

I think this solo run was good for me. It was good to be alone, to bonk alone, to feel how bad that sucked alone, so that I don't have to feel that again. I learned quite a bit about what I need to do here the next 3 weeks. And most of that work needs to be done in this big thing on top of my shoulders.

I am done with this week. I am ready for a week to recover mentally more than anything here--to actually, finally rest. I'm off school until May 2nd and I am hoping this will do wonders for my sleep and stress levels. Of course, when I get back the AP test is that Friday, but I feel like I needed to get those kids to the Election of 2000 before break and I did. It was crazy fast and stressful, but I did. The rest is up to them now. I told them they weren't going to go from a score of 1 to a score of 5 in the four days when we get back. There's no cramming for this test; either you have done the work all year like you were supposed to, or you didn't. End of story.

The same is true for me. I know I have done everything I possibly could. The hard work has been put in the bank. Now I need to really focus on fixing my mistakes from this week, believing in myself, and moving forward.

Another one in the books

2011-04-17T14:39:00.002-05:00

...but, not gonna lie, this one hurt a lot. I definitely had to earn this one.

18 miles (actually 18.15 if you count what it took me to get to Ana's house)

Average pace 8:54/mile

9 miles at an 8:22 pace

Very happy with the way this ended up, but man, did I struggle in the middle. I started the race pace stuff and was all, "hey! this is way easier than 2 weeks ago! i'm awesome!" which was quickly replaced by "DAMN this wind sucks and holy crap how am I going to do this until my Garmin says 14?!"

I had a slight meltdown at the 7th mile of the push, when a side stitch that had been driving me CRAZY finally got the best of me. I stopped, got a little hint of what might be considered tears, got ahold of myself, listened to Ana talk some sense into me, and gave myself a nice glass of HTFU. Then I got the last two done and did 4 more at a VERY easy pace to cooldown.

I do kind of wonder how the sam hill I'm going to hold that pace for longer. But I'm trying to remember that this is what taper is for; that I won't be doing Yasso 800s 2 days before the marathon, that the AP test will be over and maybe for the love of all things holy I'll be able then to get more than 5 hours of consecutive sleep. (Since I will have that lifted off my shoulders--I swear I'm more nervous for this test than the kids).

Came home, showered, took a very painful ice bath where I yelped for 15 minutes, threw on some compression, and then did the grocery shopping/bike around the block-ing/swingsetting all afternoon. Man, am I toast. I think I'll be hitting the hay as soon as my kids do.

One more big week here. I need to stay focused and not let the "how the HELL am I going to do this for 26.2 miles" get the best of me. I've thought that before about my race pace and it happened, so I need to really just believe that I can do it again and trust all these miles I've put in.

Home stretch. Less than a month.

I can do this.

Burp Yasso

2011-04-14T08:02:00.003-05:00

Last night I had a slight freak-out, which was prompted by an ice-cream sundae.

See, I have had a pretty nutso few weeks at work here with the AP test coming up the WEEK AFTER our Spring Break (awesome timing there. Yeah.) and frantically making a mad dash through the 1960s and 70s to hopefully get to the Election of 2000 and September 11, 2001. Considering we were just on WWII, you can imagine the pace we're flying at. It's seriously insane.

Then, a piece of one of my brown dress shoes broke off yesterday during class and I realized I do not have the time necessary right now to buy new ones. That will have to wait until I get at least an hour where I can go by myself to do a little shopping and also to replace the pilled-up, worn out clothes that have taken such a beating that I am still wearing. What Not To Wear would have a field day with me.

Then, last night after Matt returned a pair of Bug's too-big-soccer shoes to Dick's, he came home with my favorite Mitchell's sundae. It was very sweet. Except it was 9:30pm. And I was just about getting ready for bed. And I had one of the hardest workouts I'd ever attempted at 0500 the next morning.

But I felt bad. He knows I love ice cream. So I took a few bites. Just a few.

And then I started to lose my freakin' mind. I literally started hyperventilating and crying over a FEW BITES OF ICE CREAM. I couldn't believe I had eaten it. What, was I TRYING to make myself hurl the next morning? Really?! How could I have been so stupid?! The crying made me burp hot fudge burps, which in turn made me freak out even more.

Poor Matt just said he was sorry.

I knew this was my own fault and tried to relax. I think it was just the looming Yassos hanging over my head. I had to do them alone since Ana was stuck all week and the only time that would work for me would be to do them right after school or at 5am. I was hoping to convince Ana to meet me at the track at 5am, but she just couldn't. I checked with our track and lacrosse teams and sure enough, the track was all booked up until at least 8pm.

Ugh.

I didn't feel comfortable up at the track by myself at 5am since it's still dark until about 6:10 or so. So treadmill it was going to have to be. This also was messing with me because I felt like it wasn't "counting" if I didn't do these on a track. So I set the incline at 1% and vowed to really focus and make these count.

The plan was for "7 or 8." Well, when there's a higher number there then I feel like to take the smaller number is sorta selling out. So I went for the 8.

And lo and behold, a few bites of ice cream didn't completely do me in. All that wasted energy worrying, as usual, got me no where. In fact, I felt the strongest on these 8 at a 7:19 pace than I ever have. Ever. Even though these had a significant amount of recovery in between them, I still did 4 miles out of 8.75 at a 7:19 pace, which is good for the soul. And, worth mentioning, way faster than my current 5K PR pace.

(Perhaps this summer it's time to get a new 5K PR?)

I'm feeling better about the run this weekend. If I can get through this workout today and feel as good as I did, then I know I can get through this 18 with 9 at race pace. It's going to be tough, of course, but I feel like my body is kind of saying, "See? I told you so."

I just need to listen to it a bit more.

And perhaps to lay off the ice cream.

No Sleep: the TST Remix

2011-04-12T20:18:00.002-05:00

During my morning run today, this song came on the iPod. I decided I needed to do a remix to better fit my lifestyle. Does anyone want to be my agent? I'm hiring.

Wiz Khalifa: No Sleep (The TST Remix, '11)

last night i let the disney get the best of me
waking up in the morning: two toddlers laying next to me
plus i heard an alarm clock beepin' me
teddy grahams and cold milk: that's the pre-bedtime recipe
runner, and we roll deep, so deep
it's going down in this treadmill: concrete
we gonna party all night: no sleep
tell the daddy them is all my gang
so tonight everything is on me

the nuun is on me
the clif shots, the hammer gel, the heed is all free
go long, i mean so long we gon' miss sesame street
tempo to a level where you gonna need your own key

(2x)
no treadmill, no sleeping
long run like it's the weekend
when the ipod play the right song
gonna run, gonna party all morning long

leave the playroom now they wanna stay with us
came to run them all, don't care what miles i'm paying for
used to be too young, now i'm out here trippin' on the toy cars
everytime i look up, it's another sippy cup
bunch of toddlers in the game but they ain't playing with us
they just laughin' enough enough
man them toddlers ain't meltin' down they just laying it up
saying they does, i'm just drinking some heed
on my way to the run
i can't wait for my run

so now i lace up cause everything is on me

the nuun is on me
the clif shots, the hammer gel, the heed is all free
get fast, i mean so fast we gon' see the whole street
tempo to a level where you gonna need some more speed

no treadmill, no sleeping
long run like it's the weekend
when the ipod play the right song
gonna run, gonna party all morning long

run all day
party all night
you say you wanna party
let's party alright

no treadmill, no sleeping
long run like it's the weekend
when the ipod play the right song
gonna run, gonna party all morning long

run all day
party all night
you say you wanna run
let's run alright

I am extremely snotty

2011-04-10T19:16:00.002-05:00

I am fully aware that I am one snotty girl.

I mean, I have waxed poetic before about how entirely snotty I am.

It's really a problem. If you are around me long enough, you might be hit by my snottiness. Literally.

So today I could tell on my run that spring had officially arrived and I once again turn into a very snotty chick. It's very attractive. I'm getting pretty good at the ol' farmer's blow. Just watch out if you're behind me.

You know what? I just wasn't that into my run today. It was great to be out there in SHORTS! SHORTS! today, and Ana and I had some good conversation as usual, but we decided we were just kind of over it. Good thing it was a nice and easy long run before I throw in some more race pace stuff.

Speaking of which, I just saw next Sunday's run already. Gulp.

5 miles comfortable pace, 9 miles goal marathon pace, 4 miles comfortable pace.

I do believe she is trying to kill me.

So I have a full 7 days to wrap my head around that and get psyched up for it. Not psyched out. Which, I'm not gonna lie, is how I felt about five minutes ago when I looked at it.

If this was easy, everyone would be doing it. I signed up for this. Time to go hard or go home. These next two weeks are pretty damn important.

And another good history-related quote comes to mind:

"The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark."
— Michelangelo Buonarroti

I need to remember that I had the option to take the safe route, and I have made the conscious decision to ignore that.

And today, another milestone

2011-04-03T19:46:00.005-05:00

My fastest 16 mile run ever.

Including 6 in the middle, and all but one between 8:14-8:16.

Very tough, but very solid. My hammy is barking at me, so I'm stretching like Gumby.

I'd have to say this was a nice little comeback week of training. Three more hard ones before taper.

Bring it.

Dreading and Owning

2011-03-31T10:42:00.003-05:00

So I had this workout on the schedule...I saw it Sunday and kinda went, gulp.

That's gonna be hard.

I thought about it often this week. I kept thinking how it was going to be hard, and how I was going to really need to dig deep and focus.

Coach Emily wants me to do some Yasso 800s. It's an aggressive pace for me to hold for an 800, but then again, I'm going for an aggressive pace for me for 26.2 miles. So what I needed to do was hit a track.

Except we got a SNOWSTORM yesterday. A FREAKING SNOWSTORM.

Arg.

So track at 5:15am + snowstorm would not be a good idea. I opted for the treadmill...better than nothing.

This was my first attempt, so I was to do 5. I was supposed to start these before I got sick, so I'm definitely late to the game. But what's done is done--I have to look forward now. Coach gave me permission to do the first 2 at 8.1 mph and hold the last 3 at my required pace of 8.2 mph.

I know the tready is easier than the road, so I do know I need to get outside soon for these. But in the meantime, I decided to face the dread head-on. I loaded up the iPod with lots of new tunes and made a playlist entitled "ALL IN." I knew it would be handy while I was running staring at the wall the next morning.

I started to get pumped.

The alarm went off and I was ready. Bring it. I knew it would be a good run. I started and my warmup pace felt easier than it did on Tuesday...progress, noted.

Then I busted these things out.

The first 2 I did do at 8.1mph, and it was tough but doable. I did the next 2 at 8.2. Difficult. Done.

The last one I did at 8.3 since I felt guilty for being on a treadmill for these. It was very tough. But I put the Eminem on and really focused, and got it done.

So there's 5 Yassos. I need to work up to a few more, but it's a good start.

I was so pumped when I was done after the full 7+ miles that I did some upper body work, did one extra chin-up (yay!) but still workin' on those pull-ups...and even had time for breakfast, coffee, and a much-needed shower before work.

All day I've been in a good mood. I am feeling good. That workout made me feel good.

I'm starting to really believe.

BOO-yah.

2011-03-27T08:35:00.001-05:00

12 miles, 9:04 pace, outside with Ana, felt GREAT!

THAT was good for the head.

Next week I'll be ramping back up to 16. Bring. IT.

Gonna go hydrate myself somethin' stupid now!

Seven Weeks

2011-03-26T11:04:00.003-05:00

So I know it's been quiet over here.

Part of that is it's the end of the 3rd quarter. In fact, I have a pile of AP essays sitting next to me now begging to be graded. Sigh.

But part of that is that I just haven't quite known what to say.

I got ANOTHER infection last weekend. The doctor thinks it was a secondary sinus infection. Basically, I felt like butt. Headache that literally had me laying around like a slug (which works very well with two toddlers--my house looked like a tornado had come through) and begging for mercy with the most disgusting matter ever coming out of my nose. After a 5 mile treadmill run that literally almost had me in tears because how on earth was I ever going to run this pace again?, I cried uncle and called the doctor. She put me on antibiotics. I've taken it relatively easy over here--a MUCH better 5 mile run yesterday morning that even had me feeling like Rocky and busting out some pushups afterwards, but when it comes down to it....

I am still not 100%.

It's been over 2 weeks. Two very, very important weeks of training in a very, very important part of my marathon training plan.

To say I've been panicking is the understatement of the century.

Yesterday I lost it. I came home from work and was already bawling. Matt had no clue what to do with me. I just kept thinking how things were going so well, and this was my one chance...one chance before the times dropped down to what is darn near impossible for me, given my daily life responsibilities.

I felt like I was watching it slip away.

Emergency email into Coach Emily (who, by the way, kicked some serious ass at IM San Juan 70.3...she's pretty awesome like that). Basically saying something to the effects of:

Am I out of time?

Out of miles?

Do I give up? Do I drop to the half or do I readjust my goals and accept that this isn't in the cards?

She gave me a nice and much needed ass-kicking to the head. Here are some of the points raised:

1. There are 7 weeks left. There is still time to ramp up my miles. Not much, but enough.

2. What's the worst that can happen here? I blow up? So let's say I blow up. The sun will still come up on May 16th. The earth will continue to rotate on its axis. Life will go on.

3. She directed me to this article. Specifically, the part about Kara Goucher at the end. Is awesome. "I either need to be all in, or this isn't going to happen....my key word now is free...free of limits of myself, free not to do anything but run as hard as I can..."

I'm coming to terms with the reminder that this is, in fact, a MARATHON. There are NEVER any guarantees in a marathon. There is ALWAYS the chance you will blow up. There was before, and there still is now. These two weeks have not changed that entirely.

This has never, ever been easy for me. I am not the best athlete. I never have been. But what I do have going for me is a borderline irrational level of determination. I know that if I lined up on May 15th wearing a half marathon bib or standing by the 3:50 pace group, regardless of what happened at the finish line, I wouldn't sleep well that night. I would wonder. I would feel that I haven't given it my all.

That I wasn't all in.

The next seven weeks will be a true test of how far my heart can get me. I am going to have to work harder now than I was going to before. (And that was going to be pretty damn hard to begin with.) I am going to focus on just doing what I can do--letting these two weeks go, and focusing on the future.

And now I'm about to get all history on yo' asses. ;)

One of my favorite quotes that I always give my AP kids every year before they take their test--in a note I write to them with smarties stapled to it--is the one I had in my bento box the day I did Ironman almost five years ago. I think I need a refresher.

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." --Teddy Roosevelt

No one ever said this would be easy. Especially for me.

It's about damn time I freed myself from my own limits.

What To Do When You're Hit with the Flu

2011-03-15T07:08:00.005-05:00

Maybe you've already been there. Maybe you haven't yet.

But trust me, you will someday.

Everything will be hummin' along just fine...training feels great, you feel great. And then one morning, your run seems a little harder than usual.

Hmmmm. That's strange, you think. I wonder why my heart rate was so high, or why I couldn't maintain that interval as easily as I could last week. Ah, well, it's probably nothing...

And then the next thing you know, BAM! For me, it was 103 degree fever and the flu.

Now, if you're anything like me, you're a Type-A triathlete who probably thinks, "No big deal! I can take an Emergen-C and everything will be FINE! I can totally still run (or bike or swim) long tomorrow like I have scheduled....cough cough WHEEZE."

The fact of the matter is, sometimes you get sick. Especially up here in Northeastern Ohio where March is undoubtedly the most unpredictable weather ever. Literally, one day is sunny and 62 degrees...kids are wearing shorts and flip flops, everyone is riding their bike outside, and I swear I even saw some girl sunbathing in her front yard after school. (We get a little excited at anything over 50 degrees here.) And the next? 12 inches of snow.

What to do, what to do?

Well, I'm going to write this to myself, here, because I am TOTALLY awful at following logical advice when it comes to training. I don't slow down well. But here I am, on day 5 in bed and finally feeling a bit like the old me again, so I'm going to give myself a few reminders. Hopefully, if any of you get hit with something nasty, you can find some advice here, too.

1. First of all, STOP. Seriously. You have to stop. No good, I repeat, NO GOOD will come if you try to continue hard workouts right now. A good rule of thumb I've always followed is that if your congestion is from the neck up, you can probably continue some light workouts (but keep them LIGHT!), and if it's from the neck down, you should rest. Chest congestion is nothing to mess with. Neither is a fever. As hard as it is (and believe me, I struggle with this one!), you have to take a few days and just rest and hydrate. Remember, you have a bigger goal here. Most training plans for endurance events last several months. Repeat after me: taking it easy for one week will not make or break a training plan. (And yes, I'm repeating that, too!) That leads me into point #2...

2. Don't let your head mess with you. Again, even with the nastiest of flus (which I am currently getting over), this is one week. I will be the first to admit that I was in full-fledged panic mode last Saturday. All of my friends were racing Saturday, running long Sunday, and my running partner had a good solid run. All without me. It was rotten. I felt like certainly I would never! race! again!, but after another day of thinking and looking at my training log, I was slightly reassured. I've put in a lot of miles to this point, and I still have a lot of miles to go until my big race in May. I've come to terms with the fact that things will somehow work out and be okay.

3. Think positive. For me, I read some of my favorite tri and running blogs while drinking orange juice. I spent time getting lost in Facebook land on the pages of my favorite tri-products, like SRAM, Specialized, Headsweats, Zipp, 2XU, and CycleOps. I looked at race registration pages for races I plan to do this summer, and signed up for my big team race at Lifetime Fitness. Another way to keep your eye on the prize is to pick up a new book related to your season. For me, I am reading "Training and Racing with a Power Meter" by Hunter Allen and Andrew Coggan. This has gotten me all geeked up for when I finally feel better and can hit those roads again! Another one I love is "Run Like A Mother" by Dimity McDowell and Sarah Bowen Shea. Anything that keeps your mind moving forward about how good you'll feel at races when you're healthy is a great thing to do right now!

So listen up, sicky (and yes, I'm talking to myself here)...this is NOT the end of the world. Get yourself another glass of water, pick up a good book, go register for that race you've been eyeing this summer, and remember, the sun will come out tomorrow. Even if the day after that you get snow.

Happy Spring Training, everyone!

The Doubt Monster

2011-03-11T20:46:00.002-05:00

Lady Gaga has her "Fame Monster."

I've been noticing a doubt monster.

He creeps around every once in a while. Sometimes I see him when I'm getting ready for work. Sometimes he peeks his head from the corner of my disaster-zone basement when I'm running on the treadmill. For some reason, I think he's blue. And fuzzy.

And tonight, I swear he crept behind the door at Urgent Care when the doctor on duty told me I had PNEUMONIA. Effing pneumonia. No running for 1-2 weeks.

1-2 weeks?

Bodies have a way of telling you they have had enough, thank you very much. It's been pretty high-stress around here lately, and I think that along with my unwillingness to back off or budge on my training (despite coughing all week--oops) has finally caught up with me.

And now I'm staring the doubt monster directly in the face.

I know it's normal to be afraid sometimes. My attempt at a 3:40 will take every ounce of guts, blood, sweat, and tears I have. It is the upper limit of what I can do, and I know this. I might crash and burn. I've accepted that.

But now I'm wondering if missing 1-2 weeks right now, in what should be the thick of my training, is going to make it out of reach. And that makes me feel like I am giving up. And I hate that.

I'm wondering if I need to realistically re-examine my goals right now. Maybe it makes more sense to try for 3:40 in the fall. Hell, that's the magic number I need for what seems like forever. It's not going anywhere.

But then I feel like I'm giving up; admitting defeat. And that's worse than this stupid pneumonia that has me with a 102 degree fever and feeling like I've been hit by a semi.

I guess what I need to do is see how long it takes me to recover from this stupid thing. Maybe it makes sense to downgrade to the half. Maybe it makes sense to adjust my goal for the full.

Right now I wish this stupid doubt monster would leave me alone. And I just wish I felt like myself again--the one with a take-no-prisoners attitude, do or die, 3:40 or bust. I hope she comes back soon.

Lookin' Up!

2011-03-06T14:26:00.002-05:00

Well, things are better than we thought.

Turns out most of the things that are NOT covered by insurance were able to be saved! TV is OK (whew). All our furniture we got after this happened the last time was able to be cleaned.

And my treadmill....TOTALLY!TURNED!ON!YAAAAAAAAY

It's still a disaster down there as is my house--it basically looks like Fisher-Price threw up everywhere--but it's gonna be okay. A little while until things get back to normal, but okay.

This week's workouts, however, were NOT okay. I kind of dropped the ball. Still managed three runs and one ride, but still not what I needed to do. Ugh.

So I was going to run with Ana this morning--a pretty specific run including 35 minutes at marathon pace. And then I got up to SNOW. AGAIN. Covering a lovely layer of black ice.

&**^^*(), @@@*&^)%!

We debated what to do. The black ice is what really stinks, as we just didn't want to risk turning an ankle. So we decided to run on the treadmill and indoor track at her gym. She said it opened at 7, so she picked me up at 6:55 and off we went. As long as we were back at her house by 9:20, we'd be good.

Except it was closed. She read the schedule wrong--7 on SATURDAY. Bummer.

We zoomed home and figured we'd give it a go. I couldn't BEAR the thought of another 2 hour session on the dreadmill. So we set out and it wasn't too bad! I wore my trail shoes to give me a little more traction and protection from the slush. We had to slow it down a bit and didn't attempt the pushes. But we still got 11.25 in before she had to run home, and held it right around a 9:10 pace. Alright, given the conditions.

Then I hopped on the treadmill and grabbed some trusty tunes to do the remaining 17 minutes I had left at 8:20 pace. It was tough and I was definitely tired, but I got it in.

When all was said and done, I managed 13.3 at just about a 9 minute pace. Not the workout I was hoping for, but one that is good money in the bank nonetheless.

Went to the zoo, looked at lots of monkeys and snakes, and now I am going to have some bonding with my couch and Toy Story 3.

Hope you stay warm if you're around here, and if you're not and it's warm out, can you please send some my way? I'm beginning to think this Groundhog was pulling my chain.

Last Basement Run

2011-02-28T20:02:00.003-05:00

I didn't realize that would be it.

I'm very sad. I got up this morning, went down to work out, opened my basement door, and was greeted by what I can only describe as a murky, brown lake in my entire basement.

We measured. After it receded, of course, since there was most likely sewage.

6 inches of water. And other stuff.

I cried. A lot. And I'm still crying now. I made it to work for the second half of the day--mostly because I had to--and managed to get through it but was absolutely exhausted when that bell rang after trying to figure out what the sub did and get my AP kids back on track and pick up the pieces from last week's snow day and WOW.

We've lost everything--they came and stripped the carpet and the walls today--literally took the drywall off of half the wall--and all the furniture is ruined. My treadmill. The television. Our brand new washer and dryer we had saved up for the past few months. We aren't sure yet what insurance will cover, but it's been an emotional day.

I'm not sure how I am going to get through any workouts without that treadmill. I will miss the basement we poured our hearts into remodeling four years ago. I will miss snuggling with Bug on that couch and watching Phineas and Ferb. I am swinging back and forth between "things are just things" and, damn, I am really upset about this.

And needless to say, it couldn't have come at a worse time. For work, or the Ohio weather will continue until April that just took out our playroom. The room we go to when it's time to relax.

I am exhausted. Matt is exhausted. I can't take any days off work--I just burned my last half a personal day today cleaning any toy we could save with a bleach-water solution in the 41 degree drizzle. Matt and I won't have another day off until Good Friday, which is April 22nd, and unfortunately we don't have the kind of job that you can just take a day off. Lately, it seems that we've been just passing by, grading late, falling asleep without even having time to talk because we are so overwhelmed. But we do have jobs. And I'm trying to remember that it's just a basement, and things could be much worse.

This is what you call a rough day. I could really use a run right now. But it's icy and dark outside, and my treadmill is gone, and did I just admit that I miss it?, and I'm so, so overwhelmed.

Hopefully I can sleep a little better tonight. And remember that it is just stuff, and that all the memories I have down there of my little ones playing and all the snuggling we did and exercises we did will be made in whatever new place we can replace it with.

I'd Like to thank The Academy!

2011-02-26T13:34:00.006-05:00

Well, no.

Not the Academy.

But I do have a list of people to thank for my unfortunately unavoidable 13 mile run on my treadmill today!

Gosh, where do I begin? I don't want to leave anyone out...so many to thank...my agent? No, wait. I don't have one of those.

First and foremost, my hubby, for keeping one year old Bean away from the treadmill by feeding her in her high chair for, oh, almost an hour and then entertaining her on the floor as she is like a moth to a flame when I run on the treadmill. Thank you--I couldn't have made it without you, and your master of distraction Jedi-like powers.

For Phineas and Ferb--you were on a loop there for a while, but Bug loves to watch you guys, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I used you to keep him entertained for a while as I was doing "my exercises." No shame, Phineas. No shame.

For Mugsy the Wonder Pug, for not barking too much when Bruno, the huge dog from a few doors down whose owners let him roam free at all hours, was clearly nosing through our trash. Mugsy...*dramatic pause* words can't express how much that extra 24 minutes in the morning before anyone got up helped me. *sniff, sniff* Thank you, Mugs.

And to Eminem. Your new album kept me going as my iPod has gotten rather stale.

And to Mint-Chocolate Gu. Sweet nectar of the gods.

And to my legs, which carried me in 13 miles in a super boring training run on a treadmill faster than my first half marathon. To my head, that's starting to come around and realize this progress.

And to my heart, that does it because I don't want to give up this morning time with these two, and refuses to accept anything less than my best.

I don't even need a gold statue. I've got a crazy pug to lick the sweat off my legs when I'm done and two kids to tackle me when I'm "all sweaty." That's better than a gold statue, in my book.

Treadmill fun, OR, why I'm a 5K Underachiever, OR, am I crazy?

2011-02-22T09:06:00.003-05:00

So I had a long run this weekend. And it didn't go very well. Which is the first time in a long time I've had a bad run, so I guess this is to be expected from time to time, no? I can already tell you some factors leading up to this:

1. I was stressed to the max with interims due and getting ready for Bean's birthday party
2. This means NOT sleeping well (again--shocker, right?)
3. I had some good, but very challenging runs last week, including quite a bit of mileage under 8 minute pace (which for me is fast)
4. I only had time for 100 calories of food before my run

All of that + super crazy wind + 20 minutes at marathon pace = BONK BONK BONK CITY the last 2 miles or so.

Despite that, managed to finish almost 12 miles with an average pace of 9:01. I'm trying to remember that this is still quite an accomplishment for me. The wheels came off of my legs, but my average HR on these runs is starting to drop a bit. That's a good thing. And if it wasn't for my dumb mistakes and lack of sleep, I think I would have nailed it.

I do, however, kinda miss feeling like a triathlete. I haven't been able to swim since January. Sad face. Matt played soccer last night in an open league against some kids that are in high school and play every day, and lamented upon how much better they are than him since he plays maybe once a week. (Despite this, the dude has serious game. I've seen him play--don't let him fool you.) But he was bummed because he knows what he COULD be if he could play 5 days a week.

Boy do I know that feeling. I remember what it was like to swim 5 days a week, and what I used to be able to do. But I know that I should still be glad I can swim 2 times a week or so during tri season and manage to pull off what I do in races. I know, I know. It's just...what if, right?

So I miss feeling like a triathlete. I killed my trainer workout yesterday and it made me really want to ride outside. I know at heart I am definitely a triathlete, but right now I am still enjoying this marathon training and the focus it's giving me in my limited time to train. The fact of the matter is, you can't do everything. And right now I can't get to the pool. And that's okay. It'll be there for me when I'm ready and able to jump back in again. I'm coming to terms with this. The swimmer in me is frustrated, but trying to accept this reality.

Today's treadmill fun from Coach Emily included some ARE YOU KIDDING ME moments, but I am happy to say I nailed it, too. And felt FABULOUS. This was a good mental boost after Saturday's bonk.

Here's the lowdown: those of you covered under a sheet of ice, give it a try! Just adjust the paces to fit your goals!

20 minute Warm Up to Zone 2 (I hold this around 9:13 or so)
6 X (:45 at 9 mph, 1 minute easy)
5 minutes easy
20 minutes as (5 minutes marathon pace, 5 minutes half marathon pace--2 X)
Cooldown -- 5 minutes or so

Total run: 1 hour
(I went 1:00.24 to make it an even 7 miles, because I'm anal like that.)

So first of all: 9mph is 6:40/mile! Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAA? I didn't realize that until I was actually doing it and almost falling off the tready. Because I'm no ESpeed, kids. That ain't my easy pace! I thought my treadmill was going to laugh at me. But I held on for dear life. I made the 1 minutes easy VERY easy so I could recover. Like 10:00/mile easy. Whew.

Then I did 5 minutes back at Zone 2. No big whoop.

Now the interesting part. I had to ask Coach E what a realistic half marathon pace was for me. I mean, obviously I know my full pace goal is 8:24. But what can I do for a half? I dunno. I want to go low 1:40s but wasn't sure if that was realistic. She assured me that both a "1:42 at 7:47 and 1:44 at 7:56 are totally doable." Well, if they are both doable, then I want the faster one. So that's what I held for those two 5-minute pushes.

Then I got to thinking a little--and this is what makes me go GULP--that I am pretty sure I've never held anything better than 7:42 or so for a 5K. But I never race 5Ks. I hate 5Ks, actually. Does this mean I'm just a 5K underachiever and my 5K PR should be much better than it is?

I sure hope so.

Because I'm going to go for that 1:42 or blow up spectacularly trying. It feels hard, but good. Of course, we'll see how that goes after an hour or so, right?

Regardless, it was another solid run this morning and some good money in the bank.

And now, off to my regularly scheduled life and responsibilities. :)

One Year Ago Today....

2011-02-20T09:23:00.003-05:00

...I went into labor around 6pm or so. I watched Cars with Bug and knew this would be the last time it would be just me and my Bug.

I was excited. I was terrified. I couldn't wait to see who this little bean was....

And, at 4:15 in the morning on the 21st, after hours of work and months of wondering and years of dreaming of her I finally met her.

And it was my Emery Bean.

Thank you, Emmy, for bringing more joy into our lives. We love you so much!

Happy birthday, Bean...

Love,

Mama

Five Minutes

2011-02-17T15:19:00.005-05:00

I had what my 7th grade math teacher called a "Tornado Day" yesterday. Just one of those, whatever-could-go-wrong-will, Murphy's Law kinda days. It was already kind of an annoying day where I was slightly frazzled and annoyed. And then I got a text from a good buddy, Running Coach Kara, saying this:

"u need to run 3:35 this year for Boston"

What?!

What the...

I checked my email and she had forwarded us the link to the BAA's announcement yesterday about the new qualification times for 2012. And I totally get why they are doing it. I heard how fast it sold out this year, and I get it.

But this year. IT HAD TO BE THIS YEAR, DIDN'T IT?

$%&$%^^&@(&^#!)^%@@!

So then I was PISSED. Like really really pissed. I drove home with what I'm sure was a ridiculous scowl on my face.

FREAKINGFIVEMINUTES

To which my husband replied, "It's just five minutes."

Spoken like a guy who's never ran a marathon before, right?

So I thought long and hard about it. I slept on it. I lack of slept on it. I got up around 3:58 to pee and couldn't fall back asleep because I was thinking about it. And I realized something.

When on earth have I ever been afraid of five minutes?

I had a long conversation with myself.

And I made a decision.

I refuse to fear five minutes.

And I later confirmed that these five minutes won't affect me in May--all it really does is ensure that 3:40 will be my time until I'm 40. Not until next year, or even this fall, like originally thought.

3:40 it is.

3:40, I'm out for you.

I don't need no stinkin' five minutes. In fact, I would like to state something for the record. In the words of one of the greatest fake Indians players ever, "I say, eff you, five minutes. I DO IT MYSELF."

My new definition of relaxing

2011-02-11T19:59:00.003-05:00

So tonight I went to Target. All by myself!

Sigh. It was glorious. I listened to some good chill tunes on the way there, talked to Best Friend Sammy in STL, and got to wander all around Tar-zhhhay by myself wishing it were possible to buy everything. What a relaxing after school trip!

I know. That's pretty lame.

Anyway, so "relaxing" has become trips to Target solo and my wee hours workouts. I think I could use a vacation or something. But seriously--my 5am workouts are my secret little weapon. It's like I get an extra hour to myself that no one knows about. Who says you can't have 25 hours in the day, right?

It's going to hit 32 tomorrow for my run with Ana--WOOT! That, my friends, is what we call "shorts and tank top weather" here in the NEO. But I might just stick with running tights...just to be on the safe side.

Happy training!

Oh it's SO ON.

2011-02-05T11:35:00.002-05:00

Some great stuff happened recently:

1. Not one, but TWO snow days in a row! I can't even explain how much I needed that.

2. I think I might have Ana convinced to do the full marathon and not the half = yay for long run company!

AND

3. We just smoked our 11 mile run outside despite the sheet of ice literally coating everything. It was one of those runs that boosts up the morale a bit. I was a bit overwhelmed this week and once again questioning my sanity of timing up a full marathon 2 weeks after the AP Test, which consumes me at work until the first Friday in May. But I'm running really well lately, and I'm gonna keep on keepin' on.

Bring on the miles.

And hopefully, the over-32-degrees-weather. Yeah. That would be nice, too.

Treadmill Fun

2011-02-01T19:07:00.004-05:00

So, yeah. Snowstorm. For, like, 100 million of us or so. Now, I for one enjoy a good snowstorm in my line of work. It gives me an excuse to sit in my PJ's all day--except, of course, for the time I spend on the treadmill.

I used to think treadmills were EVIL! and the work of the devil. I've come to accept and even feel a twinge of--dare I say it?--love for my 'mill. It allows me to run during naptime, before school when it's too dark to go it alone, and, of course, during historic ice/snowstorms.

I thought I'd share a couple of my favorite treadmill workouts that superawesome Coach Emily has prescribed me. These are just hard enough that you read them and think, "Hmmm. That's not too bad." And then you start them and think, "Holy crap, is my heart going to BEAT OUT OF MY CHEST?"

(Or maybe that's just me)

Anyway, for those of you stuck inside due to extreme ice, here's a few workouts to try!

You can adjust your paces accordingly. My Zone 2 is around 9-9:15 minutes/mile. That's the pace I feel like I could go forever at, so start with that pace and then work up or down from there.

Workout 1:

20 minutes building to Zone 2

5 minutes at 7.2 mph

5 minutes at 7.5 mph

4 minutes at 7.8 mph

3 minutes at 6.5 mph

3 minutes at 7.8 mph or higher (I made it to 8.5! Yippeeekayyay!)

20 minutes to cool down

Workout 2:

20 minutes building to Zone 2 to warm up

3X (6 minutes at 7.6-8.0mph with 3 minutes easy in between)

20-25 minutes at Zone 2 to cool down

I know, right? They don't look that hard. But when I'm doing the workouts, I really have to focus. The tready is helping me win the head game a bit, and as soon as this ice thaws out I'll jump at the chance to try a nice hard tempo on the road!

Happy training--and stay warm!

Refresh Button

2011-02-01T09:28:00.002-05:00

Today is a snow day here in the NEO. I actually don't think it's all that bad out--we've had to go in on days when the streets are much worse--but I'll take it.

I struggle a bit with January. I need to work on this. I love December and definitely hit a bit of a wall in January. I know it's the cloudy weather that plays a part, and I do my best to get outside even if it's fricken freezing to get a little sun time. This time, I know it's because Matt and I don't have a break together more than 3 days long until June, and I really think we could use a little vacation--even staycation--before then. But we can't, so I need to just deal with that. Our jobs don't allow us to take vacation days like many jobs do, so we're gonna have to soldier on through. And remember we both have jobs, and ones we both love, so June will be here soon enough.

Mentally, I've been a little overwhelmed this week, too. Last night I had one of my rough nights return--where I am completely, totally overwhelmed and can't sleep. I haven't had those in a while, so it was an unwelcome visit. And this morning's 5:50am phone call was VERY welcome, even if I was supposed to sleep until 6:25 since I knew the run this morning wasn't going to happen with last night's shenanigans.

Today, I'm going to get that challenging run in that Coach E has for me on the tready--I've come to both love and fear the Tuesday workouts. They look like they're not too bad, until I'm doing them. Then, while I'm holding a difficult pace for 5 minute repeats or so, I have to really bear down and focus. So far, my body has risen up to what my mind is telling it to do, which is a good sign. The Tuesday workouts seem to be very good for my head. I'm able to hit the paces I need to and I can tell I'm getting a little bit stronger each time.

I've also made peace with the fact that I will have to move a rest day to the weekend from here until May. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that. I mean, seriously. What endurance athlete has a REST day on the WEEKEND?! I have been programmed throughout the past 6 years to think weekend = time to shred yourself. The long bricks, long swims, long runs. But getting up early every day combined with my difficulty sleeping has resulted in a not very fun-to-be-around TST by Saturday. My "rest" day has been Friday, but what's been happening is instead of sleeping, I'm still naturally getting up around 4:45 and laying there thinking, "Damn. I should just get up and work out now." And then on the weekend I DIE. So last week was the first time I rested on the weekend: I had a solid, challenging 10 mile run in the snow last Saturday with Running Soulmate Ana, and then actually rested on Sunday.

Do you know how hard that was?

I mean, I couldn't rest. Matt was laughing at me. I just felt like I needed to work out. I finally settled on a bit of yoga and stretching in the evening, just so I could feel like I moved.

But I slept like a baby Sunday night--for the first time since I can remember.

So, I think I'm just going to have to break a few rules the next three months. Getting to Boston is going to require some creativity and (gasp!) flexibility on my part.

But for now, I'm gladly taking this day to drink coffee, watch my boys shovel and play "football" in the snow, and snuggle with Bean. Naptime will bring a run and a clear head. And I can head to work tomorrow after hitting the refresh button and be ready for a new month.

"How do you do this?"

2011-01-26T20:58:00.005-05:00

I put a countdown on my board for my kids this week.

13 CLASS WEEKS UNTIL THE AP TEST AND 6 UNITS TO GO

(On a side note, I also taught about Roosevelt's "Big Stick" diplomacy to 3 classes of 16 year olds. Thank you for your pity. I can still hear the Beavis and Butthead-style chuckles....huh huh....she said carry a big stick...huh huh)

Underneath that, I wrote, 14 WEEKS UNTIL MRS. Z'S TEST. I figured they'd might as well know that I also have something big and intimidating looming in the distance. Something that right about now makes me go, "WHY did I do this to myself?" Kinda like what they are all starting to think, too.

I get asked "why" I do this stuff a lot. To me, it's like asking why I blink my eyeballs every few seconds. It's not a question of why I'm a teacher. A mother. A triathlete. It's just part of me. I wouldn't be me without these things.

But you know what? Sometimes it's not easy.

Actually, lots of times.

Okay. The truth. Pretty much all the time.

I find myself often saying, "How do I do this?"

How will I do this?

How am I going to keep this up until May? And remain sane?

Is it really possible to be a mother, wife, friend, teacher, AND athlete--all at the same time?

Sometimes other people ask me how I do all these things. And the short answer is, I don't really know. Day by day, I guess you could say. There is no secret. There is no recipe. You make it work the best you can. Sometimes, I cry. And sometimes, I cheat like crazy. By cheat, I mean I use meal-assembly places for dinner even though I love to cook and am damn good at it, if I do say so myself. It buys me a few extra minutes to play Buzz Lightyear with Bug. I have a lot of help from my family--I'm lucky to have pretty much one of the most generous and helpful husbands in the universe. He'll "sense" laundry and do it. He'll see that I really need to get a long run in and take control of the fort so I can skip out for a bit. You either make peace with the fact that housework will not get done, or you get some help. I realized that workouts will be less about socializing and more about getting to know myself. And I further appreciate how wonderful it is to have good friends to swimbikerun with--when I had all the time in the world I don't think I realized just how important that is. Now I make an effort to do one "social workout" a week, even though it's pretty hard to schedule. Lately it's been one every-other week and might have to go longer as work is going to pick up. But I know they are out there, and they'll be there, ready to ride and run with me when I can.

This has been a true exercise in letting the small stuff go. That's never been easy for me. I'm getting there, but it's definitely a work in progress.

Bottom line: this is very difficult and often overwhelming. But I love it. I love every second of every part of it, as much as it frustrates me from time to time and as much as I often question whether or not I'm good enough at any of it.

I love watching my students right about this time of the year, when they realize that there's no turning back--it's time to put the proverbial mental miles in, or pay the consequences. And most of them choose to put the miles in. It means extra hours for me after school, but I honestly don't mind. Watching them do what they need to do over the next three months is why I got into this line of work, anyway.

I love watching Bean taking her first steps. When we get home from work, I change as quickly as I can into my PJ pants and we all head downstairs. Bug makes me "dinner" with his kitchen and all the "food" we got him for Christmas, and Bean and I practice walking. Sometimes her little feet go too fast for her body and she spins out of control and starts to fall, face first. But I'm there to catch her. And she always giggles when she falls forward. She can't wait to get back up.

(I know that feeling all too well. Sometimes my feet just can't keep up with everywhere I want to go, either.)

Watching her giggle when she falls reminds me that falling means you are making progress.

Falling means you're going somewhere.

This is one crazy, simply amazing, simply exhausting journey I'm on. I'm not sure if I'm doing this right. I don't know if any of us really ever do.

All I can do is hold on, hope my feet catch up to the rest of me, and keep going.

The New Normal

2011-01-20T21:40:00.002-05:00

So I did a heart rate test the other week. I haven't done one of those in quite a while. I'm not a big fan of heart rate training since I have a crazy jack-rabbit-hummingbird-on-crack heart rate to the extreme. My resting heart rate is usually in the 40s, but I've seen my high up around 194 at the end of races. And then there was that time I averaged--yes, AVERAGED--181 during the Cleveland Half Marathon (and felt fabulous, by the way!).

I guess I've resented heart rate training because I feel like it always prescribes me to go slow. SLOOOOOOOOOOOO----OOOOOOOOO--OOOOOW. Like, 27 minute mile slow.

Therefore, I give up, lose my heart rate strap (literally) and go by feel.

But, I'm trying to be good here and be a good little triathlete. And runner. So, heart rate it is. I am determined NOT to let it run me, but use it as another tool in the arsenal. I'm still a rate of perceived exertion girl at heart, I swear.

Good thing Coach Em gets me so well. She nudged me to get on the horse and freaking replace my heart rate strap, which I never would have done. (But I lost it! A convenient reason NEVER to use heart rate training again--yay me!) Amazon delivered, and I did the test on my 'mill.

As usual, my heart rate seems to have about 2 levels: rest and crazytown. My max was, yet again, over the "220-minus-age" standard, but that's nothing new. I feared Coach Em would prescribe me workouts crawling at about a sloth's pace. Sigh.

But HEY! That's not what I saw this week!

I was to run at about a 7-7.3 mph rate for 45-60 minutes this week. And at first I was all, huh? Isn't that too fast? Aren't I supposed to crawl for 45 minutes? But she said that's what the numbers showed, so that's what I was to do.

That is significantly faster than I usually plod along on my dreadmill.

I was a little nervous to try it out.

But you know what? I did it. And it was FINE. I was FINE. It was even (gulp) a little bit fun. I had one of those runs that just felt effortless and like I could keep on truckin'.

One of those runs that is money in the mental bank, for sure (not to mention the physical one).

I'm gonna blame it a bit on the post-pregnancy blood-doping, but I have to admit--I'm a bit shocked. Somehow I've turned into a chick that clips out 8:30s for a 6 mile training run without any problem. I didn't really think that was possible. I sort of thought I was a 9+ for-lifer.

Maybe that strap ain't the devil after all.